So not every msg is going to land or every recipient fancy you.
However sometimes you meet criteria, construct a message, which is received and read.
In some cases you get a reply and then chat just stops.
So my question is, is it ok to send a follow up? How long is a no reply meaning not interested?
Personally I only follow up if chatted a bit and usually delete no replies after a week or two. What do others do? |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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You have to let go of this idea that your message was so well constructed it must be answered to.
More simply, a lack of response is a lack of interest. Your delivery isn’t to blame. People will have their reasons. |
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It depends on the context of the conversation and how I felt it was going.
Some people are worth a follow up message if there had been somewhat of a good vibe.
I get the argument against but sometimes life gets in the way and we forget to go back to a conversation that we had intended to.
If an initial approach goes unanswered then that's different.
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People get busy and forget to reply, I know we do! 
A follow up could be warranted if you’d been chatting and there was a bit of chemistry, maybe after a few days of no reply. It’s the ones the message and message and message when you don’t reply that get on my nerves! |
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By *elloWoman 13 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
I do appreciate a follow up message from someone I had fun messaging previously, because often what happens is I get distracted and forget who I was talking to, their messages fall off the first page in the inbox so I miss messages, if someone messages when I don't want to continue chatting to them then I will block them, so if you message and you're not blocked then it's all good  |
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It's ok to send a follow up I think. If you don't get a response make a note on the profile or block to prevent you messaging again.
Sometimes we just get so overwhelmed with life that answering messages on fab is waaaay down our list of priorities |
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"I'd only send a follow up if there was a couple of back and forth beforehand, if then there's nothing there not interested."
This
Just because you think you completely match someone, that doesn’t mean the recipient will think the same.
We get a lot of messages from people saying that after reading our profile and seeing our pics we are on the same page - we then check their profile, it’s got dick pics galore and action shots and two sentences 
No mate, we are on different books 
K |
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I don't send messages at all and haven't done since before the first covid lockdown.
It wasn't a conscious decision at the time but I've had lots of conversations in the 4 years since with people who reached out to me.
When I did send messages my etiquette was to delete them as soon as I had sent them so I wouldn't have to option of checking to see if they had been read or not.
I've always stated on my profile that I'm only interested in mutual conversation and that includes mutual effort so if I feel I'm carrying the load then I'll quickly let it fizzle out.
If someone sends me a message and then doesn't reply to my response I won't follow up on that because they obviously aren't interested or are distracted.
If they are distracted it usually means they are juggling numerous chats and are finding others more interesting.
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"I don't send messages at all and haven't done since before the first covid lockdown.
It wasn't a conscious decision at the time but I've had lots of conversations in the 4 years since with people who reached out to me.
When I did send messages my etiquette was to delete them as soon as I had sent them so I wouldn't have to option of checking to see if they had been read or not.
I've always stated on my profile that I'm only interested in mutual conversation and that includes mutual effort so if I feel I'm carrying the load then I'll quickly let it fizzle out.
If someone sends me a message and then doesn't reply to my response I won't follow up on that because they obviously aren't interested or are distracted.
If they are distracted it usually means they are juggling numerous chats and are finding others more interesting.
"
This ^^^ |
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"You have to let go of this idea that your message was so well constructed it must be answered to.
More simply, a lack of response is a lack of interest. Your delivery isn’t to blame. People will have their reasons. "
Simply as that I think |
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"People get busy and forget to reply, I know we do!
A follow up could be warranted if you’d been chatting and there was a bit of chemistry, maybe after a few days of no reply. It’s the ones the message and message and message when you don’t reply that get on my nerves! "
Agree with this. Read and no reply doesn’t always mean no, We sometimes get a hell of a lot of messages and as bad as it sounds people get forgotten. We wouldn’t be bothered by a follow up if we were hitting it off to start with |
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We are all different so some like it filthy and others will block you if filthy. I just go with the flow and try and respect what others like or not. Must of the times have to build relationships in message before might meet with some taking me a year before first meet. It was worthy the wait. I am open to any suggestions myself and messages and don’t judge. If not for me I will say politely. If we get on can be friends or more |
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You will always get the advice to NOT follow up - Isay different.
Certainly don't follow up where you had a NO as that is clear.
Where you chatted and haven't had a no send another message along the lines of .....
Hi, we exchanged messages a ....... back and i'm interested in meeting face to face. Hopefully you will get back to me so we can make arrangements or if you are unable to right now or don't want to at all ,you will let me know.
THEN - NEVER write back unless they respond to you as you put the ball politely but firmly in their court.
The end. |
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"You will always get the advice to NOT follow up - Isay different.
Certainly don't follow up where you had a NO as that is clear.
Where you chatted and haven't had a no send another message along the lines of .....
Hi, we exchanged messages a ....... back and i'm interested in meeting face to face. Hopefully you will get back to me so we can make arrangements or if you are unable to right now or don't want to at all ,you will let me know.
THEN - NEVER write back unless they respond to you as you put the ball politely but firmly in their court.
The end."
Wise words. One thing to add is women have the power here so lido read what they say |
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If there's a compelling reason to do so I will send a follow up, certainly when they have messaged me in the first instance. It's about intuition and the general 'feel' of how the conversation is flowing: if the chat is one-way or 'non reciprocal' then I am less inclined to follow up or keep the momentum. However, if the general mood of the chat has been engaging, friendly and positive then a gentle nudge quite often reconvenes the chat. Sometimes the chat doesn't stop. It just pauses due to life, work, commitments...on both sides.
There are also two other reasons why I have sent a follow up message: women have often told me I'm not assertive enough. I have no idea what this actually means but they are inferring I shouldn't give up. It's a moot point because I rarely message women and I'm not a fan of chasing. The other is because they cannot find my message in amongst the 100s proliferating their InBoxes, and they were appreciative of the 'nudge'.
More recently, it's been the other way around: women have sent me follow up messages because I haven't replied in a timely fashion (I also have a life outside of Fab!).
Send a follow up. It's harmless. It's hardly a poisoned arrow, unless you make it so with endless pestering and goading. |
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"You will always get the advice to NOT follow up - Isay different.
Certainly don't follow up where you had a NO as that is clear.
Where you chatted and haven't had a no send another message along the lines of .....
Hi, we exchanged messages a ....... back and i'm interested in meeting face to face. Hopefully you will get back to me so we can make arrangements or if you are unable to right now or don't want to at all ,you will let me know.
THEN - NEVER write back unless they respond to you as you put the ball politely but firmly in their court.
The end.
Wise words. One thing to add is women have the power here so lido read what they say"
I'm genuinely curious why you think women have the power here?
Power over who and what?
If you mean having the power to choose who they have sex with, does that not apply to everyone regardless of gender? |
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"...One thing to add is women have the power here so lido read what they say
•
No they do not. And even if they did men are allowed to exercise their prerogative too."
Yes of course both women and men decide. What I meant is there are far many more men on here and a lot of them will just do what women say. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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The max for me is 2 unread messages and that stands for any kind be it a work email a text to family or a fab message. If they haven't responded after two attempts they are either avoiding you at work and you need to escalate the issue, too busy to get around to it right now if family or were not interested enough in our drivel to respond on here  |
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By *aizyWoman 13 weeks ago
west midlands |
It depends for me, on here if it is someone I have been chatting to for a while and we have been getting on, if I'm left on read I'll msg again, if it is someone I have just started chatting to I wouldn't msg again. |
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