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Scary fab situation advice wanted
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So,
I've received a message today from a local profile (for context I live in a VERY small village, i dont live in the village i live on the outskirts in an incredibly remote location, alone, with 2 young kids) from a profile with no pictures, that is only 5 days old and has one verification, that isn't displayed.
The message is of a quite teasing nature (not the nice kind of teasing we all love either)
it's become evident that they not only know who I am, but they are also aware of my daily movements! Which is a little scary!
And now the profile has blocked me!
Obviously I have reported the profile as have fellow fabber friends, but what else can I do?
I'm a little worried about the fact that
A, they know who I am
B, they know my daily movements (I walk my dog every morning after my kids go to school then pop into my friends cafe for a cheeky latte, they have mentioned this),
C,because I live in a small rural location where everybody knows everybody I assume they know where I live! (Alone, with two small children)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! |
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police. "
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police.
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
"
Phone 101 and you will be put through to your local police authority non emergency line. If you need or want to speak in person, they should be able to make an appointment for an officer to come to you or you go to the nearest police station for a meeting. Everything nowadays is done by appointment, unless an emergency.
Definitely get police advice and input. Definitely. |
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police.
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
"
You can normally report this kind of thing online OP. Record it with them.
Change your routine a little for the peace of mind mostly. Sounds like one of your neighbours if I’m honest.
And this kind of behaviour is why a lot of women chose the bear 
Try not to panic too much OP |
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police.
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
Phone 101 and you will be put through to your local police authority non emergency line. If you need or want to speak in person, they should be able to make an appointment for an officer to come to you or you go to the nearest police station for a meeting. Everything nowadays is done by appointment, unless an emergency.
Definitely get police advice and input. Definitely. "
Thank you, I'll contact them! |
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police.
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
Phone 101 and you will be put through to your local police authority non emergency line. If you need or want to speak in person, they should be able to make an appointment for an officer to come to you or you go to the nearest police station for a meeting. Everything nowadays is done by appointment, unless an emergency.
Definitely get police advice and input. Definitely.
Thank you, I'll contact them!"
if your ringing it in make sure they give you a crime number - that way you know they have logged it properly.
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Contact the police, also the fact that they know you suggests they have stalked you so invest in cameras, take pictures of random cars, etc. Be vigilant. Finally talk to friends and family they need not know any details but should make them aware that there is someone stalking you, they may notice things or be approached too. Stay safe |
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police.
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
You can normally report this kind of thing online OP. Record it with them.
Change your routine a little for the peace of mind mostly. Sounds like one of your neighbours if I’m honest.
And this kind of behaviour is why a lot of women chose the bear
Try not to panic too much OP "
Thank you xx |
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"Contact the police, also the fact that they know you suggests they have stalked you so invest in cameras, take pictures of random cars, etc. Be vigilant. Finally talk to friends and family they need not know any details but should make them aware that there is someone stalking you, they may notice things or be approached too. Stay safe "
I have cctv on the outside of the property I live in, purely because I live so remotely, so that's that base covered!
I've told my friend who café I go to in a morning too! |
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start wearing a go pro camera or something similar when out walking your dog, and share the images on a whatsapp group with friends, post any pictures of vehicles or people you come across,
Think about people you regularly come across when out an about , Do you have a regular delivery drivers from the likes of Amazon, DPD Evri etc |
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"So,
I've received a message today from a local profile (for context I live in a VERY small village, i dont live in the village i live on the outskirts in an incredibly remote location, alone, with 2 young kids) from a profile with no pictures, that is only 5 days old and has one verification, that isn't displayed.
The message is of a quite teasing nature (not the nice kind of teasing we all love either)
it's become evident that they not only know who I am, but they are also aware of my daily movements! Which is a little scary!
And now the profile has blocked me!
Obviously I have reported the profile as have fellow fabber friends, but what else can I do?
I'm a little worried about the fact that
A, they know who I am
B, they know my daily movements (I walk my dog every morning after my kids go to school then pop into my friends cafe for a cheeky latte, they have mentioned this),
C,because I live in a small rural location where everybody knows everybody I assume they know where I live! (Alone, with two small children)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!"
Would it be ok for me to DM you?
Mrs. FC. |
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"So,
I've received a message today from a local profile (for context I live in a VERY small village, i dont live in the village i live on the outskirts in an incredibly remote location, alone, with 2 young kids) from a profile with no pictures, that is only 5 days old and has one verification, that isn't displayed.
The message is of a quite teasing nature (not the nice kind of teasing we all love either)
it's become evident that they not only know who I am, but they are also aware of my daily movements! Which is a little scary!
And now the profile has blocked me!
Obviously I have reported the profile as have fellow fabber friends, but what else can I do?
I'm a little worried about the fact that
A, they know who I am
B, they know my daily movements (I walk my dog every morning after my kids go to school then pop into my friends cafe for a cheeky latte, they have mentioned this),
C,because I live in a small rural location where everybody knows everybody I assume they know where I live! (Alone, with two small children)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Would it be ok for me to DM you?
Mrs. FC."
Yes sure xx |
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Silly as it sounds, try not to change your usual routine because then you’ll not come across the same people. Just be a little more observant and careful.
Could it be someone trying to play games with you? |
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"So,
I've received a message today from a local profile (for context I live in a VERY small village, i dont live in the village i live on the outskirts in an incredibly remote location, alone, with 2 young kids) from a profile with no pictures, that is only 5 days old and has one verification, that isn't displayed.
The message is of a quite teasing nature (not the nice kind of teasing we all love either)
it's become evident that they not only know who I am, but they are also aware of my daily movements! Which is a little scary!
And now the profile has blocked me!
Obviously I have reported the profile as have fellow fabber friends, but what else can I do?
I'm a little worried about the fact that
A, they know who I am
B, they know my daily movements (I walk my dog every morning after my kids go to school then pop into my friends cafe for a cheeky latte, they have mentioned this),
C,because I live in a small rural location where everybody knows everybody I assume they know where I live! (Alone, with two small children)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!"
We would advise you put a vague location, i.e. North West. Also don't put your correct postcode, put one 20,30 or 50 miles away. We don't show up in a search anyway near the town we actually live in. |
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"Police none emergency for advice.
They'll have it recorded and have your details should they need to get to you quickly."
This! Report it so they have it on file, maybe change up your routine a little and add some extra precautions - tell someone when you leave, where your going and what time your back etc.
Lock down all social media to private. |
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By *ohnysteMan 28 weeks ago
newcastle under lyme |
I once had a guy a street away message out of the blue. Claimed to have had my wife during her previous marriage after a party. Enough info for it to be genuine. He did same blocked me after a few messages |
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"So,
I've received a message today from a local profile (for context I live in a VERY small village, i dont live in the village i live on the outskirts in an incredibly remote location, alone, with 2 young kids) from a profile with no pictures, that is only 5 days old and has one verification, that isn't displayed.
The message is of a quite teasing nature (not the nice kind of teasing we all love either)
it's become evident that they not only know who I am, but they are also aware of my daily movements! Which is a little scary!
And now the profile has blocked me!
Obviously I have reported the profile as have fellow fabber friends, but what else can I do?
I'm a little worried about the fact that
A, they know who I am
B, they know my daily movements (I walk my dog every morning after my kids go to school then pop into my friends cafe for a cheeky latte, they have mentioned this),
C,because I live in a small rural location where everybody knows everybody I assume they know where I live! (Alone, with two small children)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
We would advise you put a vague location, i.e. North West. Also don't put your correct postcode, put one 20,30 or 50 miles away. We don't show up in a search anyway near the town we actually live in."
I already have done, when I set up my fab profile, coz I live in a small village, I didn't want to be the subject of village gossip, or get judgy eyes from people like the vicars wife! |
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"The police will do nothing just log it.....get a Rottweiler if they believe in heaven the Rottweiler will soon let them find out ."
I've got a dog.
But.....
She's definitely not a rottie,
She's a pomeranian.....
Definitely not going to be much help in a situation! |
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It sounds like it is someone fairly close to you, for them to know your daily routine so well.....
I would definitely file a report with the Police, as you are feeling threatened, and this person has clearly stalked you to an extent. The hope here will be, that this person sees the Police visit you at home, and this will be enough to scare them away 
Don't forget you can counterblock their profile in here, but not much point as they can just set up a new profile to view you. Another reason Fab should be a full paysite..... 
Good for you to share their profile around your other Fab friends, so they can keep an eye on them, although, they probably will delete now, and start again.
I genuinely feel for you, as it has taken almost 18 months for me to shake off a psycho bitch from here too. Do not think this situation doesn't happen to guys.... |
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This person does not have to physically stalk you or approach you. Sending a message with the intention to cause alarm or distress is a crime under the prevention of malicious communications act. The police will take this seriously. It carries a 6 month custodial sentence for a first offence, more if there are aggravating factors such as hate crime.
You’ll need to be prepared to be open about being on fab. If this person has or had a paid membership police would be able to get their identify from that. If they are or were photo verified that’s also of use to the police. Having uniform turn up at his doorstep to make enquiries will prob be enough to scare him off.
If he’s reading this thread he may now be aware of how much risk he is placing himself in. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do when everything online is traceable.
I hope you’re ok OP. Take positive actions, regain control of the situation. |
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"It sounds like it is someone fairly close to you, for them to know your daily routine so well.....
I would definitely file a report with the Police, as you are feeling threatened, and this person has clearly stalked you to an extent. The hope here will be, that this person sees the Police visit you at home, and this will be enough to scare them away
Don't forget you can counterblock their profile in here, but not much point as they can just set up a new profile to view you. Another reason Fab should be a full paysite.....
Good for you to share their profile around your other Fab friends, so they can keep an eye on them, although, they probably will delete now, and start again.
I genuinely feel for you, as it has taken almost 18 months for me to shake off a psycho bitch from here too. Do not think this situation doesn't happen to guys...."
Thank you, just goes to show that it could happen to anyone, doesn't it! I'm sorry to hear you were in a similar situation.
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This is absolutely disgusting behaviour, I really hope something can be done and the police get involved.
I really don't get what he is trying to gain from acting like that, it's just pathetic and surely a form of abuse/bullying!
Take care and stay vigilant when out and about x |
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Get a bigger dog, keep curtains closed at night, have you got a male friend or family member who can stay with you for a bit or visit daily?
Be vigilant, keep a diary of car's you see near your house and people who are around see if any patterns appear. |
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Seems like lots of great advice has been given.
Hard not to do when faced with this but try and stay calm. Stay vigilant and keep your wits about you and you will spot things that maybe seem out of place.
Someone suggested personal cam… great idea for peace of mind … sharing live locations with friends & family so they can see.
See what the police advise.
And never keep the same routine …this kind of thing is always advised against as thieves etc can plot then. Mix it up … take different routes on differing days …be out for 5 mins one day & 20 another ..keep them guessing ….
Personal protection…. Alarm ….learn self defence … all sounds a bit extreme ..but even something new like that will change your routine
Lots of ideas to change … some are not needed but list anyway
Bravo to fab community for getting involved to help  |
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So they messaged you giving an itinerary of your day to day movements and then left? Were they looking to meet, asking for pics, were they replying to an update? Have you sent any to anyone remotely local? If they message again maybe ask to meet them in your local cafe, see what's what.. |
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By *unchalMan 28 weeks ago
Dartford |
This could be absolutely anyone. Who cares if they know where they live or who you are. You have no idea the number of people I know and where they live. You must be the same. Block him and fuck (not literally of course)! |
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You can never be sure but I doubt this idiot means any harm. He’s most likely feeling proud of himself for figuring out who you are and finds it quite funny, which of course it’s not.
I’d say he’ll give himself away by his actions in due course, he won’t be able to help himself.
Have an idea that we think could help. Send us a PM, we don’t come in the forum very often and might forget about this thread |
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"This could be absolutely anyone. Who cares if they know where they live or who you are. You have no idea the number of people I know and where they live. You must be the same. Block him and fuck (not literally of course)!"
Knowing her daily routine in detail seems to suggest a spot more than "just anyone". |
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We've had lots of these over 25+ yrs of being on the net.
"Oh I saw you shopping in blah blah" which we were. Our reply is "you should have said hi". Followed by silence from them.
Oh you live here. Our reply is "and?" Followed by silence from them.
I'm going to do this and that to you. Reply ok will be here at a certain time" silence from them.
Those are just a few of the normal ones we get l9ads of.
The others we can't post as would be against rules for explicit cruelty lol
99% are just keyboard warriors just wanting to try and scare you.
Unfortunately unless they have paid for membership here they would be virtually untraceable even when photo verified.
We always tell people if you don't want to be recognised and deal with the odd wierdo, stay of the internet especially a sex site. |
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"This could be absolutely anyone. Who cares if they know where they live or who you are. You have no idea the number of people I know and where they live. You must be the same. Block him and fuck (not literally of course)!"
So why not just simply reveal who they are, or a message to say 'hey, nice to see a local fellow swinger why the creepy messages revealing thay they know who I am and thay they know my daily movements, where I go at what times and what I do......
It's concerning for a single woman that a man,who won't reveal their identity, would know that!
Especially given where I live!
In an incredibly small village, in a very remote location!
It's weird!
Any man that messages a woman saying, I've seen you drinking your morning coffee at(insert Cafe name here) after your morning dog walk, is weird ass behaviour! |
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"This could be absolutely anyone. Who cares if they know where they live or who you are. You have no idea the number of people I know and where they live. You must be the same. Block him and fuck (not literally of course)!
Knowing her daily routine in detail seems to suggest a spot more than "just anyone". "
This is what is concerning me! |
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My advice is a apply a bit of logic and a lot of rational thinking.
1. You are concerned so DO report it to the police.
2. The profile did not have a name or a picture you can give to the police.
3. There is no proof that it was indeed a man ( everyone seems to apply a gender bias immediately)
4. The profile is only five days old, I just get the feeling that someone who noticed you would have been here longer and not such a newbie.
5. What was it on your profile that enabled the person to identify you ? Was it your headless photo ? Or were there other things like facial photos and a clear indication of where you live ?
6. You don't share anything the person has said to you ( and you don't have to but it's difficult to make a judgement on nothing )
7. What crime has been committed ? If there was harassment ( deliberate harassment ) there MAY be something the police could look into.
8. Stalking is not 'messaging someone once' stalking has a definition.
9. It honestly seems to me to be someone you have spoken about your membership to e.g. someone who is being nasty and relating the info back to you. Very possibly female.
10,It seems very likely to stay online to me but .......
Inform the police that you are concerned. |
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"My advice is a apply a bit of logic and a lot of rational thinking.
1. You are concerned so DO report it to the police.
2. The profile did not have a name or a picture you can give to the police.
3. There is no proof that it was indeed a man ( everyone seems to apply a gender bias immediately)
4. The profile is only five days old, I just get the feeling that someone who noticed you would have been here longer and not such a newbie.
5. What was it on your profile that enabled the person to identify you ? Was it your headless photo ? Or were there other things like facial photos and a clear indication of where you live ?
6. You don't share anything the person has said to you ( and you don't have to but it's difficult to make a judgement on nothing )
7. What crime has been committed ? If there was harassment ( deliberate harassment ) there MAY be something the police could look into.
8. Stalking is not 'messaging someone once' stalking has a definition."
There is absolutely nothing thay could identify me on my profile, anybody I'm am fab friends with, is friends I play with, on the scene and have done so regularly.
They haven't messaged me once,
There is a message thread 6 messages long
I told them their behaviour was weird.....
They've then upped the weirdness, by telling me to enjoy my morning coffee at (insert my friends cafe name here)
So they know my routine, I go for morning coffee 5 mornings a week, post dog walk! Coz I'm child free and want to catch up either my best mate.
I've not alluded to it being a man....it literally could be anyone in the world, of any gender!
The profile being 5 days old, teamed with them knowing my movements m, is what concerns me, have they set it up purely for the purpose of messaging me? |
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You have been given some good advice already. It is most likely someone that has no intentions to harm you physically but please do report it.
If they contact you again only engage with them to tell them clearly not to contact you again by any means, then block them.
Make sure you make a note of any time they contact you.
Change your routine, if only for a short time to put your mind at rest.
I unfortunately had a stalker for 8 months, despite working in a field that you would consider safe, so have extensive experience unfortunately.
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If the thread is six messages long. I wonder if FAB could 'see' where that is, given that profiles can be booted etc ...
I'd still go to the police and pronto and yes I know you didn't mention the messenger being a man or a stalker but other posts did which makes it alarmist and scary. It's thought maddening enough without people inventing blokes and stalkers and other advice that isn't helpful.
It would still be creepy to me to know that there is someone who gets a kick out of being unnerving to others.
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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I don't post face pics , but I can guarantee anyone off my street would recognise me from my public pics. When I first joined I looked at who's near and I could pick out about 3/4 guys I knew that didn't show any face pics. People give away more than they think, why I never have my actual location on here.
He's blocked you right? Chances are he realised what a dick he was coming across. |
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"And now the profile has blocked me!
Obviously I have reported the profile as have fellow fabber friends, but what else can I do?
"
I know your not going to like this
Im sorry but it has nothing to do with your friends reporting the profile.
they should stay out of it other than offer you the advice seek proper advice please keep in touch .... |
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As others have stated definitely log it with the police.
When I was dealing with stalking and harassment from an ex the police told me to change up my routine and try to make it as different as possible every day, take different routes where possible, carry a personal alarm and always have my phone in my had or at least very easily accessible on my person in case the need to phone the police arises.
It's terrifying to deal with so I hope you're okay. I really hope it's just someone trying to be funny and failing miserably at it  |
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As most have said report to the police.
I would also make an admin aware, they will have tools to help with any investigation. I know it will be tempting to delete the messages as they might make you feel uncomfortable but keep them for now for evidence.
if you don't feel safe contact friends and family. |
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By *unchalMan 28 weeks ago
Dartford |
"This could be absolutely anyone. Who cares if they know where they live or who you are. You have no idea the number of people I know and where they live. You must be the same. Block him and fuck (not literally of course)!
Knowing her daily routine in detail seems to suggest a spot more than "just anyone". "
Woman writing? Stop with the fear. |
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"I think I’d consider getting advice from the police.
This was my initial thought and has been the advice from friends,
But perils of living in a rural location mean you can't actually speak to a police officer or contact one when you need them!
Phone 101 and you will be put through to your local police authority non emergency line. If you need or want to speak in person, they should be able to make an appointment for an officer to come to you or you go to the nearest police station for a meeting. Everything nowadays is done by appointment, unless an emergency.
Definitely get police advice and input. Definitely.
Thank you, I'll contact them!"
Don't worry too much, remember if they know that you are on here. You know that they are also on here. It's a two way thing that can hurt them too. |
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The police should be able to trace the prick from the account using IP address. Just go to them and get them to investigate. This is traceable.
He's going to get a shock if he thinks he can remain anonymous behaving like this. |
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Could it be someone you know personally? It’s stalkerish behaviour. Especially if they know your daily routine. In cases this is soneone you know, clearly knows your routine.. they don’t need to tell you this. What I would do personally is backtrack and think “who knows my routine” process of elimination…all the best OP x |
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"The police should be able to trace the prick from the account using IP address. Just go to them and get them to investigate. This is traceable.
He's going to get a shock if he thinks he can remain anonymous behaving like this."
IP Addresses are tricky little things to tack down depending on ISP. but definitely get the site admins involved they should be able to provide the autorties with details and even might be able to block the user to ever access the site if the are worth their salt. |
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