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Gutted by a selfie
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It’s great to get a selfie early, had someone on the hotlist for sometime, thought yes, that’s the one, built up the courage for some conversation. Selfies exchanged, and it was like - oh no, they’re not what we thought they looked like. Swift honest apologies made, and now hunting for the next one.
What’s anyone else’s feelings when the face doesn’t match your thoughts from the profile and body pics? How do you respond, or do you just block, delete and wish you hadn’t seen them at all? |
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"It’s great to get a selfie early, had someone on the hotlist for sometime, thought yes, that’s the one, built up the courage for some conversation. Selfies exchanged, and it was like - oh no, they’re not what we thought they looked like. Swift honest apologies made, and now hunting for the next one.
What’s anyone else’s feelings when the face doesn’t match your thoughts from the profile and body pics? How do you respond, or do you just block, delete and wish you hadn’t seen them at all? "
I don't know. Nobody has ever sent me a face pic. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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I like an early selfie just to ensure that the pic matches the ones on here. If they aren’t for me I’m honest and fair and polite and it’s a “thanks but no thanks”. Obviously worded differently but in a respectful manner |
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Face pics are the only pics I care for. If I don't like the face pic I just say no thanks after finding a bit more about them or what they're into. Can't say no cunt you're ugly when I look like I do aha |
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"I like an early selfie just to ensure that the pic matches the ones on here. If they aren’t for me I’m honest and fair and polite and it’s a “thanks but no thanks”. Obviously worded differently but in a respectful manner "
That’s kind of like how we replied, fairly but truthfully, not being brutal, just said it’s not our cup of tea (very English of us)  |
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"It’s why I have them up on my profile ready to go, don’t want to be on the end of the “oof, that’s not what I was expecting” conversation lol "
Wishing we were brave enough to share our pictures openly on our profile, but with our line of work, we don’t need our names being spread about the work place by someone coming across them.  |
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I got told the other day that I looked more innocent than what they were expecting and therefore wasn’t for them.
As my profile says… I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… but as the person the other day did..just be honest and polite … best way to be |
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I always say to people when I send my face pics that if I’m not their cup of tea so to say then feel free to be honest as it’s not something I take offence to as that’s life isn’t it. We all have our preferences and I would rather they were honest than just ignore me. At least that way you can wish each other well and both move on.
Also though personality and how people come across can easily outway a tiny photo. Sometimes all that glitters is not gold and a nice outlook and personality is far more attractive. |
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I say in my profile, that it's someones face I need to find attractive.
They could have a lovely body, but if I don't like their face, it's a no for me.
We are have our own idea of what's attractive and I know I won't be for all & that's fine. |
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"If you send a face pic and get a block then at least you know you are not their type. Seems harsh - especially if they started the messaging - but that’s life."
That's happened to me !! Clearly I'm hideous  |
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Yes, having face pics up certainly makes the inbox a little more tolerable
In terms of saying 'no', again with having face pics up, you just have to gulp, wince, close your eyes, press send and hope for the best  |
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I just block or don’t reply normally, but it’s usually pretty early in the conversation that it’s sent as mine is usually public.
I used to be nice with a thanks but no thanks kind of message but got too much abuse so it’s easier this way. |
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Oh gawd, this is the worst when this happens, I really want to be someone that can think "ok, so I don't fancy their face but they make me laugh...and the body!" But I just can't, I have to fancy them. In the past I've blocked immediately and then felt awful about it because that's pretty nasty ain't it? Now I generally carry on the conversation but it kinda just trails off as I lose interest but it's better than me being really mean.
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"It’s great to get a selfie early, had someone on the hotlist for sometime, thought yes, that’s the one, built up the courage for some conversation. Selfies exchanged, and it was like - oh no, they’re not what we thought they looked like. Swift honest apologies made, and now hunting for the next one.
What’s anyone else’s feelings when the face doesn’t match your thoughts from the profile and body pics? How do you respond, or do you just block, delete and wish you hadn’t seen them at all? "
This is why I regularly have face pics on public and why I won't engage in conversation without seeing his face.
Too many beautiful torsos with faces that I just can't kiss on here  |
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They can have the most incredible body and personality but if I'm not attracted to them facially I just can't go through with it so I find ot best to get face pics out of the way early on in the conversation |
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"This person can see this topic and is probably gutted and a little pissed off right now that you're talking about them"
She didn't mention any names. And the person she's talking about may not be on the forum |
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I suppose I’ve had that reaction when sending a selfie. It’s pretty gutting when a chat ends with it or goes slightly off from being flirty/chatty afterwards.
I try and say to myself it’s just the way I take the pics and that one still photo isn’t a true reflection but that’s how it goes and well, maybe things dodged.
Certainly happier to go to socials and meet people and go from ther. |
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By *riel13Woman 13 weeks ago
Northampton |
This is why I rarely speak to anyone without seeing their face... It's when you like the first pic... Start chatting n then the next pic you see, they look about 10 years older and bugger all as nice as in the first one... Ugh!  |
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By *lueLotusWoman 13 weeks ago
the wilderness |
I usually say sorry but I have to be honest I'm not feeling any attraction you're not my type.
It's mostly taken well enough but if not I just ignore/delete further messages as I've said my piece.
Sometimes a person has reminded me of a relative or an ex which would put me off too so I've simply said that, sorry but you look a bit too much like my ex and I won't be able to carry on this conversation but thanks for the chat and good luck  |
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it's an awkward situation for sure, I have had it a few times, more when I have sent my ugly mug! lol, but I try and say politely that there has to be a physical attraction as well. it's just one of those things. you could do as others have said and either just not respond / delete / block. |
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"I was going to say maybe they have a great personality
But I suppose this is fab..  "
I know loads of people with great personalities that I'm not interested in fucking.
It's hard to imagine a scenario, at least for me, where someone's face isn't a fundamental part of physical attraction.
Maybe for some people.
Do you fuck people you're not physically attracted to? |
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By *riel13Woman 13 weeks ago
Northampton |
"We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life "
You can be a right cock, whatever you look like... And unattractive doesn't mean, not good looking... This is why people can't handle rejection, I think... Also... An attractive face without a decent personality means they instantly become unattractive... It's all very complicated ennit? |
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By *lueLotusWoman 13 weeks ago
the wilderness |
"We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life
You can be a right cock, whatever you look like... And unattractive doesn't mean, not good looking... This is why people can't handle rejection, I think... Also... An attractive face without a decent personality means they instantly become unattractive... It's all very complicated ennit? "
And even being attracted to someone's looks and personality doesn't guarantee chemistry in person so there's another hurdle. Yay haha |
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By *riel13Woman 13 weeks ago
Northampton |
"We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life
You can be a right cock, whatever you look like... And unattractive doesn't mean, not good looking... This is why people can't handle rejection, I think... Also... An attractive face without a decent personality means they instantly become unattractive... It's all very complicated ennit?
And even being attracted to someone's looks and personality doesn't guarantee chemistry in person so there's another hurdle. Yay haha "
Yes! It's a bloody minefield! |
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By *igR93Man 13 weeks ago
Sarcasm City |
"I was going to say maybe they have a great personality
But I suppose this is fab..
I know loads of people with great personalities that I'm not interested in fucking.
It's hard to imagine a scenario, at least for me, where someone's face isn't a fundamental part of physical attraction.
Maybe for some people.
Do you fuck people you're not physically attracted to?"
This would tie in to the whole “I guess it is fab” statement
But no I do believe initial attraction is an extremely important factor in any relationship |
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I've always thought of attraction as an aggregate of what my needs and desires are at a particular time, combined with what social norm's and media imprinted in my brain during those formative wanks at a tender age, combined with my male genetic imperatives.
Add pheromones, a consummate seductress or alcohol for curve balls.
It's not shallow to value physical attraction. It might be shallow to only value that but on a site where people come to fuck, wanting to fuck someone just because they are hot is totally legit. |
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By *lueLotusWoman 13 weeks ago
the wilderness |
I feel disappointed but also a bit dumb for conjuring up a face based on chatting... It's a bit like seeing a film made of a well loved book and the characters don't look how i wanted them to but of course they don't and I'm an idiot for thinking they would. |
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By *igR93Man 13 weeks ago
Sarcasm City |
"I feel disappointed but also a bit dumb for conjuring up a face based on chatting... It's a bit like seeing a film made of a well loved book and the characters don't look how i wanted them to but of course they don't and I'm an idiot for thinking they would. "
Live and learn,
Life is a learning experience |
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"I feel disappointed but also a bit dumb for conjuring up a face based on chatting... It's a bit like seeing a film made of a well loved book and the characters don't look how i wanted them to but of course they don't and I'm an idiot for thinking they would. "
I've seen my look of confusion or disappointment on my face reflected in the faces people I've met without exchanging face pictures.
That said, I've had the same look on my face after meeting people that shaved off a decade of their life with filters too. |
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I insist on an up to date selfie too, if it's less than 6 months old, even that's pushing it, anyone still sending 8 year old pics as a face pic, kinda gets swiftly blocked, I know I've changed alot in that time. |
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It happens, I try not to build up an image of anyone but the face is something I need to be attracted to or it's not happening, I can't kiss a face I don't like.
We can't all be attracted to everyone and that's ok. |
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Ha to be the balance here I am going to other way. The body can totally swing it for me regardless of the face to a degree ..
Much like if someone has a pretty face but the body is remotely not what I like then there is no chance ..
As I just meet mostly for a one of fuck be that a club or arranged , the whole connection stuff is not really required ..
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Thank you all for your responses. We were sincere and apologetic for saying the attraction wasn’t there. Gutting as it was, just couldn’t see ourselves being in a room with the lights on, with someone who ‘wasn’t our cup of tea’.
Good to hear as always others thoughts, so thank you all for your responses.
Take care
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