I absolutely always tell a female friend when I am meeting someone and tell her as much detail as I know about the guy I am meeting. And also tell her that if I haven’t messaged within 2 hours she should know there is a problem and act on it.
I have also been known to take a large dog with me for first time meets!!
Paranoid I know, but that’s being a woman on fab!
As far as having someone ring you to make an excuse… I would bother with that as I will always be happy to have a coffee with someone and a chat, even if I don’t fancy them. And would never commit to more than that on a first meet anyway. |
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By *jj2012 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Barry |
"I absolutely always tell a female friend when I am meeting someone and tell her as much detail as I know about the guy I am meeting. And also tell her that if I haven’t messaged within 2 hours she should know there is a problem and act on it.
I have also been known to take a large dog with me for first time meets!!
Paranoid I know, but that’s being a woman on fab!
As far as having someone ring you to make an excuse… I would bother with that as I will always be happy to have a coffee with someone and a chat, even if I don’t fancy them. And would never commit to more than that on a first meet anyway. "
That's probably one of the best I've heard and actually a sound proof plan taking a large dog I love it x |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Never commit to more than a coffee with anyone for a first meet.
If they aren’t for me, I drink my coffee as fast as possible, thank them for their time and say I must go. Set the expectation of my busy lifestyle early on so that this isn’t so random.
My best friend knows who I’m meeting, where, their physical description at a minimum. If I don’t send him a message within a few hours he knows what to do.
I never meet anyone anywhere that isn’t public and usually insist it’s a place of my choosing. I’d rather be someplace I know than a place I’ve never been to for safety reasons.
If the person can’t exchange names and numbers I’m unlikely to ever consider meeting them. I also always have a video chat with the person the day before we are to meet. I want to see that they are who they presented or else I won’t bother meeting them.
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By *jj2012 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Barry |
"Never commit to more than a coffee with anyone for a first meet.
If they aren’t for me, I drink my coffee as fast as possible, thank them for their time and say I must go. Set the expectation of my busy lifestyle early on so that this isn’t so random.
My best friend knows who I’m meeting, where, their physical description at a minimum. If I don’t send him a message within a few hours he knows what to do.
I never meet anyone anywhere that isn’t public and usually insist it’s a place of my choosing. I’d rather be someplace I know than a place I’ve never been to for safety reasons.
If the person can’t exchange names and numbers I’m unlikely to ever consider meeting them. I also always have a video chat with the person the day before we are to meet. I want to see that they are who they presented or else I won’t bother meeting them.
"
If someone can't have a video chat the red flags are already out x |
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I have always followed though with the meet or date if anything the most I have had was a txt saying she did not think we would work out and tbh I would of rather her been like that and let me know then lead me on |
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By *jj2012 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Barry |
"...If someone can't have a video chat the red flags are already out x
•
I refuse to do a video chat. It's not a red flag for me. I do just fine. Due diligence comes in many forms. "
I get your point but I think video chat is closet thing you get to seeing someone in person so know your speaking to the person you think you are |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"...If someone can't have a video chat the red flags are already out x
•
I refuse to do a video chat. It's not a red flag for me. I do just fine. Due diligence comes in many forms. "
I met someone once, not off Fab, who could not string a sentence together without talking about my physical appearance. I was so put off despite having lovely conversation, exchanges, and voice chats. Ever since then, I find video chats are effective for me in determining whether meeting someone is valuable or not. I can’t meet someone, even if it’s for a coffee, and waste an hour of my time if they just go on and on about how beautiful I am. That just lacks substance. Before someone says it, this wasn’t at all what they were like before we had met face to face.
This sounds completely arrogant but I don’t mean it with any arrogance.  |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 24 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
A very lovely forumite offered to be my Plan B a couple of weeks ago when I was nervous about a potential meet. They have my WhatsApp/phone number. It's reassuring knowing that if I need that, I can ask them to do it for me. |
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I have this cunning plan - it’s called being an adult. If something isn’t working then I will just tell them it isn’t working and call it a day. I have never had a bad fab meet but it happens in real life. |
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I meet socially only. No expectations on either side other than a nice coffee and conversation.
I make sure that is 100% clear too.
All too often they don’t actually get that… which means I definitely won’t meet them no matter how long we’ve chatted.
Then if it doesn’t work out I say so and leave. Simples really |
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By *ustBoWoman 24 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've never had a back up plan when meeting anyone new. It's just for a coffee and chat anyhow when I first meet someone. I have usually chatted to them for a good while anyhow before I meet (I don't do video calls as I despise them).
If there is no chemistry then we have just had a chat and a coffee together it's no big deal that it doesn't go farther.
I've never felt the need to have someone looking out for me or having someone call me. To be honest if I did then I wouldn't have met anyone off here if I was that worried.
I have found chatting for a while before we meet has always been the best way to get to know someone because they can't hide behind a facade for that long and I have cut chats short when I have seen what I consider to be red flags.
My worst meet was when I met someone after only chatting for a day or so. And I'll never do that again. |
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By *irthandgirthMan 24 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"How many people have got a friend to ring them so can say have to leave family emergency, what's everyones back out plan or "plan B" "
As a guy on here I don't face many of the issues females do. As a rule, when meeting someone for the first time I will ask them to choose somewhere they feel comfortable. It's a small gesture, but goes a little way to make sure they are happier meeting up as they are more in control and can have some confidence in ending things at a time of their choosing knowing routes to car parks etc. |
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"Never commit to more than a coffee with anyone for a first meet.
If someone can't have a video chat the red flags are already out x"
I'm a walking talking red flag, video calls are awkward I'd rather just meet for coffee.
On our very well verified couples profile we got called fake because we wouldn't video call a couple weeks weren't interested in  |
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By *eliWoman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I wouldn't meet someone if I felt I needed a back out plan.
"
Exactly this. If I felt any strong wavering etc... I'm not putting myself through that. Obviously life happens etc but I wouldn't form one. |
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"I find socials never happen. Always something that comes up why they can’t make it.
Fancy a social? "
I’d have a social with you for sure. I need some spoon whittling tips and I hear you’re quite the spoon whittler. |
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"I find socials never happen. Always something that comes up why they can’t make it.
Fancy a social?
I’d have a social with you for sure. I need some spoon whittling tips and I hear you’re quite the spoon whittler. "
I am darling. Happy to share all the tips |
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By *oo..Woman 24 weeks ago
Boo's World |
Someone will always know where I'm planning on going.
Would only ever meet someone new in a public place.
And my back up is my car parked outside with a tracker in it so murdering me makes it a bit more inconvenient. |
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Only ever had a back up plan once and it wasn't for a fab related reason, it was a view to dating and I was going through a phase of hearing people's voices (voices that annoy me is a huge turn off for me) and I chatted to someone on the phone but I liked him even though his voice wasn't doing it for me, so I asked my friend to call me if I sent her an SOS, she did and I put the worst performance on ever in front of him when she called me saying whatever it was and left....went to see her anyway and got my tongue pierced (that's another story for another day lol).
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No idea if anyone meeting me had a back out plan or not but I've never had a no show or been one in 8 years here.
I chat to people for weeks or even months before meeting and then it will only be a social and nothing more.
To those above saying that not agreeing to a video chat is a red flag, that may well be your opinion but I refuse to do video chats for the same reason I don't exchange face pics unless I've already arranged to meet someone and at that stage it's only so we will recognise each other.
I don't give my phone number to anyone on fab under any circumstances unless I know them really well.
I've probably chatted to 100 people in my years here and I've yet to talk to anyone who would be comfortable with a video chat.
Unfortunately it's like many things on fab where different rules apply.
If a man says he won't do a video chat he's obviously hiding something. If a woman says it she is just being careful of her privacy.
I've been told by two well verified women in the past that they wouldn't meet me unless I agreed to go to their home.
I refused both and ended the chat because in my opinion if they had so little thought for their own personal safety they were content to invite me as a complete stranger into their home for a first meet they weren't people I was interested in meeting at all.
If I thought for a second that someone needed a back out plan when meeting me I would suggest not meeting at all rather than have them second guessing me. |
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