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Red flags re: attached
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As a single woman on here, I appreciate the men who are upfront about their attached status - so many say they are not when they are. I’m not interested in attached men. How do you other singles who don’t want to meet attached sus them out? |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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Only available to meet during the daytimes ... weekends v difficult.
Generally don't flex to when you are free.
Mostly chatty during the day, v quiet in the evening and especially over a weekend.
Definitely don't want to chat on phone much.
Can't or won't accomodate ... I know some singles can't but it is a big indicator.
Generally the fuck n go sort of guys. |
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"As a single woman on here, I appreciate the men who are upfront about their attached status - so many say they are not when they are. I’m not interested in attached men. How do you other singles who don’t want to meet attached sus them out? "
Ask for their phone number is the best way.
In my experience attached guys:
* only message or meet during the day
* are rarely free weekends
* cannot do overnights
* cannot accomodate
* rush off afterwards
* or rush to the sex as they know they've only got an hour
* cancel at the last minute/don't show up
* won't have a social local to them
These don't ALWAYS mean he's married, but as a rule of thumb
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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Just to add met and played with someone 4 times before they admitted they were married when I pushed to meet one weekend evening ..... needless to say I made it clear never meeting them again.
Also had lovely social with a guy but again when tried to pin them down to meeting one weekend to play .... they were evasive ... eventually .ade it clear that something felt wrong ... they admitted they were married ... got told to fuck off. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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With summer soon arriving, the married ones who may normally wear rings will have a tan line when they take it off. I reckon this may be sussed out too late as you’d be more apt to notice once meeting but… |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"As a single woman on here, I appreciate the men who are upfront about their attached status - so many say they are not when they are. I’m not interested in attached men. How do you other singles who don’t want to meet attached sus them out?
Ask for their phone number is the best way.
In my experience attached guys:
* only message or meet during the day
* are rarely free weekends
* cannot do overnights
* cannot accomodate
* rush off afterwards
* or rush to the sex as they know they've only got an hour
* cancel at the last minute/don't show up
* won't have a social local to them
These don't ALWAYS mean he's married, but as a rule of thumb
"
TIL messaging while I'm supposed to working in the day could mean I'm attached    |
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"As a single woman on here, I appreciate the men who are upfront about their attached status - so many say they are not when they are. I’m not interested in attached men. How do you other singles who don’t want to meet attached sus them out?
Ask for their phone number is the best way.
In my experience attached guys:
* only message or meet during the day
* are rarely free weekends
* cannot do overnights
* cannot accomodate
* rush off afterwards
* or rush to the sex as they know they've only got an hour
* cancel at the last minute/don't show up
* won't have a social local to them
These don't ALWAYS mean he's married, but as a rule of thumb
TIL messaging while I'm supposed to working in the day could mean I'm attached "
I think these are all valid suggestions, although none of them are 100% guaranteed, as stated. I don't think there's a surefire way to suss someone out, so I think you're left with these suggestions plus plain ol' gut instinct. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"
TIL messaging while I'm supposed to working in the day could mean I'm attached
Inly if that's the only time you message"
Of course it's the only time I message. I'm not going to do it in the evening on my OWN time |
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"you wont some are such good liers that you wont have a clue ....there is no way to avoid married cheating or not .... if you swing 100% youll meet married at some point
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Yep, I agree with this. You cay spot the obvious ones but I'm sure we've met married men before. We met at one guys house and only realised later by putting two and two together that he was in a relationship |
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see I get the reverse OP .. I get single women message me , that immediately want to meet with a male lover /friend etc.
I tend to find younger women profiles with great looking pics are almost always fake in this sense of not being single ... |
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From experience:
Can only meet at certain times, certain days, while this is concrete evidence, if it is around the same time as the working day finishes, so they can get home in time for tea
Not chatting at weekends and reappearing on a Monday
Not chatting in the evenings after a certain time
If you meet them and see a line on their wedding finger
Not being able to meet at their home, near where they live. Again they could live in shared housing, still live with family but it's another sign.
This is just all stuff I've picked up, hope it helps x |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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You be surprised the amount of rejection hubby has by being open about being attached on this couples profile we have, he still has crap for it.
So he had a singles profile for a while (my suggestion), an aim to counter the negativity towards him playing as an attached man - he even cross referred himself to this profile in his bio, but that just made him look even more spurious!
Guys just can’t win
Mrs x  |
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"From experience:
Can only meet at certain times, certain days, while this is concrete evidence, if it is around the same time as the working day finishes, so they can get home in time for tea
Not chatting at weekends and reappearing on a Monday
Not chatting in the evenings after a certain time
If you meet them and see a line on their wedding finger
Not being able to meet at their home, near where they live. Again they could live in shared housing, still live with family but it's another sign.
This is just all stuff I've picked up, hope it helps x"
good advice  |
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With great difficulty. I've met married men unknowingly quite a few times, unsurprisingly the ghosting after fucking is the biggest tell. Now I just assume they are in some sort of relationship and choose whether I wish to meet them or not. |
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I always ask, as I can generally get a gut feeling about a profile.
Usually signs include :
They won't meet in public for a social, in case they're seen.
Only online certain hours or reply to you in office hours.
Can't accom (this alone doesn't mean someone's a cheat).
Are mostly looking for daytime meets,in the week.
Have no public pics or something very vague like a hand or eye (just from what I've seen).
Write discreet more than once in their bio.
Go with your gut op, if you ask many will be truthful. I know not everyone is though, so if I am in any doubt, I swerve them. |
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Thanks for your answers - I tend to follow a pattern - chat on here for a few days - move to WA for a few days - chat on the phone and then meet and take it from there - started chatting to someone a few days ago and suggested moving to WA - he said no - that has never happened before so screams attached ho hum |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"You be surprised the amount of rejection hubby has by being open about being attached on this couples profile we have, he still has crap for it.
So he had a singles profile for a while (my suggestion), an aim to counter the negativity towards him playing as an attached man - he even cross referred himself to this profile in his bio, but that just made him look even more spurious!
Guys just can’t win
Mrs x "
Yep damned if you do damned if you dont.
I choose to be upfront so folk can then make a decision save any akward moments or arguments later.
Hasnt done me any favours though still get dogs abuse from certain quarters. |
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I was attached until the beginning of this year, but anyone i was talking to knew my situation.
Finding honesty, can be difficult but it's sussing out those who aren't in regards to their attached or non attached status. Red flags can include the following but this is not an exhaustive list:
Never being invited to their house. Always staying at yours or cheap hotels (as they don't have the money as it's spent on family things-well you think it would be).
Being evasive.
Lies and not keeping up with them.
Something at times doesn't seem quite right.
They don't like you talking to others about concerning behaviour, incidents or whatever as it's 'private'. Despite it potentially affecting you.
What I would say is, there is seeing those flags and doing something and then seeing them, having them waved squarely in front of your face like an American on independence day and doing nothing. That is until your almost 'forced' to distance before you loose anymore face as you've been to loads of events with the person while those flags were waving high and proud and for such a long time and you even knew about some of them!
But the red flag can be a manipulator, make you seem silly about any concerns you may have. It's admitting that, taking ownership. Everyone makes mistakes but try not to do it again, do better.
So if your unfortunate enough to come across one, we've all been there in one way or another. Hugs and I hope you manage to dodge them!
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That is a bummer. Even with your support?!
I can understand some people being opposed if they were attached and the partner they didn't know anything about it, but with support from the partner?! That is annoying ! |
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