FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Feeling bad about saying no
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"The second you withdraw consent with “no” it became a r@pe being committed against you. Please do what the others are suggesting. Speak with the police. " From what OP posted, I'm not sure he gave consent in the first place. Sounds like the second guy tried it on before even asking for consent. | |||
| |||
| |||
"When does the line become crossed playing with a guy in private cabin but doors wide open so fair play to others coming in actually like it but I’m lay down on my front the man finishes all good suddenly iv another guy within seconds on me I try move then pain of him missing then instantly inside me new to this only had 2 small to average before but gentle. I may have had fun with him not like that tho very sore now felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time then once I’m forcing more it’s not ok " I'm so sorry you experienced this... no is no... I agree with the other posters this was r*pe.. I know it will be difficult but please report this to the police x please feel free to message me if you are struggling or just need a chat x | |||
| |||
| |||
"I think reporting this to the police will be pointless tbh. A waste of everyone's time. You would never get a successful conviction." And this attitude is why so few r*pes are reported | |||
"I think reporting this to the police will be pointless tbh. A waste of everyone's time. You would never get a successful conviction. And this attitude is why so few r*pes are reported" | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I think reporting this to the police will be pointless tbh. A waste of everyone's time. You would never get a successful conviction." I think I understand why people don’t and don’t want to. Especially given how hard convictions are. But I think it’s not for us to decide or influence. If the person feels like they can, they should. If they feel like it’s too much, that’s ok but it’s for them to decide imo | |||
"I think reporting this to the police will be pointless tbh. A waste of everyone's time. You would never get a successful conviction. I think I understand why people don’t and don’t want to. Especially given how hard convictions are. But I think it’s not for us to decide or influence. If the person feels like they can, they should. If they feel like it’s too much, that’s ok but it’s for them to decide imo" I think reporting to the venue is good because if nothing else they should be aware and be able to act accordingly to keep people safe in future | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.." Surely, unless OP gave positive consent, it is not ok and could/should be considered r*pe. | |||
| |||
"Sounds like r*pe" | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.. Surely, unless OP gave positive consent, it is not ok and could/should be considered r*pe." In certain situations, simply not saying yes might not be sufficient enough in getting the message across to someone who you don't want to play with. Being in a sex club and letting random people walk into your unlocked room sounds like one of those situations where you need to be explicit about who you want to play with, AND who you don't. Things can quickly get out of your control if you're not assertive, especially as the receptive participant. | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.." Open door or not, no consent was given. There is no implied consent in this situation. It was uninvited and unwelcome penetrative. The R word is absolutely applicable here, club or not. I am sorry the OP experienced this situation. The club needs to be informed at the very least. | |||
"Sounds like r*pe" I completely agree. It is this. I'm so sorry and please take care of yourself. | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.. Surely, unless OP gave positive consent, it is not ok and could/should be considered r*pe. In certain situations, simply not saying yes might not be sufficient enough in getting the message across to someone who you don't want to play with. Being in a sex club and letting random people walk into your unlocked room sounds like one of those situations where you need to be explicit about who you want to play with, AND who you don't. Things can quickly get out of your control if you're not assertive, especially as the receptive participant." Unless you have been given permission. You have not given consent. No human being should ever do anything remotely like this, just because they didn't say no or not explicit in what they did or did not want. Being in a highly sexual environment or not an excuse for vile behaviour. | |||
"I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP. Please take some time to do some self care and heal, physically and emotionally. You have nothing to feel bad about, and please never fear saying no. No is always ok. Access to your body is an honour and a privilege that you get to bestow as you see fit." Well said | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.. Surely, unless OP gave positive consent, it is not ok and could/should be considered r*pe." Exactly | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.." He has been clear in his description. It was unexpected. So the r word is the correct one to use. | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.. Open door or not, no consent was given. There is no implied consent in this situation. It was uninvited and unwelcome penetrative. The R word is absolutely applicable here, club or not. I am sorry the OP experienced this situation. The club needs to be informed at the very least. " Well said!!!! | |||
"When does the line become crossed playing with a guy in private cabin but doors wide open so fair play to others coming in actually like it but I’m lay down on my front the man finishes all good suddenly iv another guy within seconds on me I try move then pain of him missing then instantly inside me new to this only had 2 small to average before but gentle. I may have had fun with him not like that tho very sore now felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time then once I’m forcing more it’s not ok " That sounds illegal let alone nasty for you. Hope you get through OK. | |||
| |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.. Open door or not, no consent was given. There is no implied consent in this situation. It was uninvited and unwelcome penetrative. The R word is absolutely applicable here, club or not. I am sorry the OP experienced this situation. The club needs to be informed at the very least. " We actually don't know if the penetration was uninvited, or if/when it became unwelcome, or at least it isn't clear from the original posting. Which is why I'm asking for further details before tossing around heavy words. How I read the story was that this guy was already in the room with him and at least one other, then after the other person had finished this guy has gone to help himself. Where I'm not clear is whether the perpetrator was either explicitly told no, or very clearly given a sign that penetration was not wanted via body language and just disregarded it anyway, or whether it might have been not discouraged initially, but then became an unpleasant experience due to this guy being rough. It isn't clear to me what the actual complaint is, from how it's written. | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.. Open door or not, no consent was given. There is no implied consent in this situation. It was uninvited and unwelcome penetrative. The R word is absolutely applicable here, club or not. I am sorry the OP experienced this situation. The club needs to be informed at the very least. We actually don't know if the penetration was uninvited, or if/when it became unwelcome, or at least it isn't clear from the original posting. Which is why I'm asking for further details before tossing around heavy words. How I read the story was that this guy was already in the room with him and at least one other, then after the other person had finished this guy has gone to help himself. Where I'm not clear is whether the perpetrator was either explicitly told no, or very clearly given a sign that penetration was not wanted via body language and just disregarded it anyway, or whether it might have been not discouraged initially, but then became an unpleasant experience due to this guy being rough. It isn't clear to me what the actual complaint is, from how it's written." "suddenly iv another guy within seconds on me I try move then pain of him missing then instantly inside me" "felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time" Even taking poor grammar into consideration (sorry OP), these 2 sentences indicate: 1. 2nd person was not invited. 2. 2nd person was being far too rough for the OP (who has indicated he tried to move out) and he was not happy/comfortable. | |||
| |||
| |||
"We actually don't know if the penetration was uninvited, or if/when it became unwelcome, or at least it isn't clear from the original posting. Which is why I'm asking for further details before tossing around heavy words. How I read the story was that this guy was already in the room with him and at least one other, then after the other person had finished this guy has gone to help himself. Where I'm not clear is whether the perpetrator was either explicitly told no, or very clearly given a sign that penetration was not wanted via body language and just disregarded it anyway, or whether it might have been not discouraged initially, but then became an unpleasant experience due to this guy being rough. It isn't clear to me what the actual complaint is, from how it's written. "suddenly iv another guy within seconds on me I try move then pain of him missing then instantly inside me" "felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time" Even taking poor grammar into consideration (sorry OP), these 2 sentences indicate: 1. 2nd person was not invited. 2. 2nd person was being far too rough for the OP (who has indicated he tried to move out) and he was not happy/comfortable." 1. If the guy was there "within seconds" this indicates he was already in the room with him. A risk you run when leaving your door open is that anyone can walk in. 2. The part where he says "he tried move but pain of him missing" doesn't really contain enough detail to draw any conclusive idea of what he did do. Did he try to move away from him? Move out of the room? Was he forcefully prevented from moving? If the sex was rough enough to cause pain he really should have tried to stop proceedings immediately in whatever way necessary. I cannot fathom how instinct doesn't automatically take over. "I may have had fun with him not like that tho" This, as well as being in the room with him for what sounds like some considerable time, indicates that this guy may have been invited, at least initially prior to penetration. It's just not clear enough. "very sore now felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time then once I’m forcing more it’s not ok" "Felt bad saying no the first time" indicates a previous interaction with the perpetrator, where he said no, as does the title of the thread, and also implies he might have changed his mind later on and gave consent. Honestly, I don't know what is meant by "once im forcing its not ok" is he pushing back? Is he forcing to get out & escape? This is not simply poor grammar, it's imprecise language being used which is obfuscating important details for a situation as potentially serious as this. Details matter. If he was to report this to the police as he has written it above, they would be asking similar questions, and the fact it takes place in a sex club, and had been allowing other people in the same room to consensually penetrate him, will muddy the waters of whether consent, implicit or explicit, has been given. As much as it's possible to express non-consent without actually saying "no", it's also possible to express consent, inadvertently or otherwise, without actually saying "yes", especially if you're in an environment like that where people don't always verbally express consent or non-consent. If you have initially consented to being penetrated (not saying he has, but it's not clear either way), then didn't like the way you were being penetrated, but you haven't told them to stop, attempted to stop them yourself, or tried to escape, to prove a r*pe conviction is going to be very difficult. Details matter. | |||
| |||
| |||
"We actually don't know if the penetration was uninvited, or if/when it became unwelcome, or at least it isn't clear from the original posting. Which is why I'm asking for further details before tossing around heavy words. How I read the story was that this guy was already in the room with him and at least one other, then after the other person had finished this guy has gone to help himself. Where I'm not clear is whether the perpetrator was either explicitly told no, or very clearly given a sign that penetration was not wanted via body language and just disregarded it anyway, or whether it might have been not discouraged initially, but then became an unpleasant experience due to this guy being rough. It isn't clear to me what the actual complaint is, from how it's written. "suddenly iv another guy within seconds on me I try move then pain of him missing then instantly inside me" "felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time" Even taking poor grammar into consideration (sorry OP), these 2 sentences indicate: 1. 2nd person was not invited. 2. 2nd person was being far too rough for the OP (who has indicated he tried to move out) and he was not happy/comfortable. 1. If the guy was there "within seconds" this indicates he was already in the room with him. A risk you run when leaving your door open is that anyone can walk in. 2. The part where he says "he tried move but pain of him missing" doesn't really contain enough detail to draw any conclusive idea of what he did do. Did he try to move away from him? Move out of the room? Was he forcefully prevented from moving? If the sex was rough enough to cause pain he really should have tried to stop proceedings immediately in whatever way necessary. I cannot fathom how instinct doesn't automatically take over. "I may have had fun with him not like that tho" This, as well as being in the room with him for what sounds like some considerable time, indicates that this guy may have been invited, at least initially prior to penetration. It's just not clear enough. "very sore now felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time then once I’m forcing more it’s not ok" "Felt bad saying no the first time" indicates a previous interaction with the perpetrator, where he said no, as does the title of the thread, and also implies he might have changed his mind later on and gave consent. Honestly, I don't know what is meant by "once im forcing its not ok" is he pushing back? Is he forcing to get out & escape? This is not simply poor grammar, it's imprecise language being used which is obfuscating important details for a situation as potentially serious as this. Details matter. If he was to report this to the police as he has written it above, they would be asking similar questions, and the fact it takes place in a sex club, and had been allowing other people in the same room to consensually penetrate him, will muddy the waters of whether consent, implicit or explicit, has been given. As much as it's possible to express non-consent without actually saying "no", it's also possible to express consent, inadvertently or otherwise, without actually saying "yes", especially if you're in an environment like that where people don't always verbally express consent or non-consent. If you have initially consented to being penetrated (not saying he has, but it's not clear either way), then didn't like the way you were being penetrated, but you haven't told them to stop, attempted to stop them yourself, or tried to escape, to prove a r*pe conviction is going to be very difficult. Details matter." I do not think we will agree on this. Despite the unclear wording, I think the majority on here are taking it that, despite being in a room with an open door the OP did not consent to anal penetration by the second man, whether he was in the room previously or not. Open door does not equal consent. Not feeling able to say no does not equal saying yes. As much as this could be difficult to prove, minimising the OPs experience and being reticent about using the R word due to the situation feels akin to victim blaming a female for dressing provocatively. | |||
| |||
"I do not think we will agree on this. Despite the unclear wording, I think the majority on here are taking it that, despite being in a room with an open door the OP did not consent to anal penetration by the second man, whether he was in the room previously or not. Open door does not equal consent. Not feeling able to say no does not equal saying yes. As much as this could be difficult to prove, minimising the OPs experience and being reticent about using the R word due to the situation feels akin to victim blaming a female for dressing provocatively. " Well going by what he has actually written, it is not clear whether he has consented or not. He appears to have had 2 interactions with this person and said no once, then possibly changed his mind later on. And even if he has, he can still deny consent at any point it becomes uncomfortable or painful, which is why I'm wondering why OP apparently hasn't done so. So yes we fundamentally disagree about how to interpret the text we are reading. All of the text. I didn't want to go there, but judging by his most recent update, he appears to have gotten over it relatively quickly | |||
"We actually don't know if the penetration was uninvited, or if/when it became unwelcome, or at least it isn't clear from the original posting. Which is why I'm asking for further details before tossing around heavy words. How I read the story was that this guy was already in the room with him and at least one other, then after the other person had finished this guy has gone to help himself. Where I'm not clear is whether the perpetrator was either explicitly told no, or very clearly given a sign that penetration was not wanted via body language and just disregarded it anyway, or whether it might have been not discouraged initially, but then became an unpleasant experience due to this guy being rough. It isn't clear to me what the actual complaint is, from how it's written. "suddenly iv another guy within seconds on me I try move then pain of him missing then instantly inside me" "felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time" Even taking poor grammar into consideration (sorry OP), these 2 sentences indicate: 1. 2nd person was not invited. 2. 2nd person was being far too rough for the OP (who has indicated he tried to move out) and he was not happy/comfortable. 1. If the guy was there "within seconds" this indicates he was already in the room with him. A risk you run when leaving your door open is that anyone can walk in. 2. The part where he says "he tried move but pain of him missing" doesn't really contain enough detail to draw any conclusive idea of what he did do. Did he try to move away from him? Move out of the room? Was he forcefully prevented from moving? If the sex was rough enough to cause pain he really should have tried to stop proceedings immediately in whatever way necessary. I cannot fathom how instinct doesn't automatically take over. "I may have had fun with him not like that tho" This, as well as being in the room with him for what sounds like some considerable time, indicates that this guy may have been invited, at least initially prior to penetration. It's just not clear enough. "very sore now felt bad saying no first time like he tried to hurt me slamming all time then once I’m forcing more it’s not ok" "Felt bad saying no the first time" indicates a previous interaction with the perpetrator, where he said no, as does the title of the thread, and also implies he might have changed his mind later on and gave consent. Honestly, I don't know what is meant by "once im forcing its not ok" is he pushing back? Is he forcing to get out & escape? This is not simply poor grammar, it's imprecise language being used which is obfuscating important details for a situation as potentially serious as this. Details matter. If he was to report this to the police as he has written it above, they would be asking similar questions, and the fact it takes place in a sex club, and had been allowing other people in the same room to consensually penetrate him, will muddy the waters of whether consent, implicit or explicit, has been given. As much as it's possible to express non-consent without actually saying "no", it's also possible to express consent, inadvertently or otherwise, without actually saying "yes", especially if you're in an environment like that where people don't always verbally express consent or non-consent. If you have initially consented to being penetrated (not saying he has, but it's not clear either way), then didn't like the way you were being penetrated, but you haven't told them to stop, attempted to stop them yourself, or tried to escape, to prove a r*pe conviction is going to be very difficult. Details matter. I do not think we will agree on this. Despite the unclear wording, I think the majority on here are taking it that, despite being in a room with an open door the OP did not consent to anal penetration by the second man, whether he was in the room previously or not. Open door does not equal consent. Not feeling able to say no does not equal saying yes. As much as this could be difficult to prove, minimising the OPs experience and being reticent about using the R word due to the situation feels akin to victim blaming a female for dressing provocatively. " You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. | |||
| |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. " Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he | |||
| |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he " And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know | |||
"Maybe I'm having trouble understanding the OP, but did you actually tell this guy no, & he forced himself upon you regardless? Or did you want to say no after he started being rough, but couldn't for some reason? Had you previously told him no earlier? I'm not clear on some things, which I would like to be before casually throwing around the R word in a club situation.." Sounds like the guy just came up behind him and started doing his thing with out any discussion or conversation before hand | |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know " Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it. | |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it." I became hyper sexual after r*pe its actually a very very common response to it... | |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it." Judgemental much? You can only speak from your own experiences and not for anybody else's. You'd do well to let that fact sink in thoroughly. | |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it. I became hyper sexual after r*pe its actually a very very common response to it..." In my experience it's not a common response if you're a man who has become injured from aggressive anal sex. It is the last thing you would want to do, due to the sheer pain alone. | |||
| |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it. Judgemental much? You can only speak from your own experiences and not for anybody else's. You'd do well to let that fact sink in thoroughly. " Of course it's judgemental because if you're still trying to have anal sex whilst your arse is injured, that's a demonstrably idiotic thing to do. I don't need to have walked a mile in his shoes to make that assessment. That's just common sense. | |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it. I became hyper sexual after r*pe its actually a very very common response to it... In my experience it's not a common response if you're a man who has become injured from aggressive anal sex. It is the last thing you would want to do, due to the sheer pain alone. " Fair comment | |||
| |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it. I became hyper sexual after r*pe its actually a very very common response to it... In my experience it's not a common response if you're a man who has become injured from aggressive anal sex. It is the last thing you would want to do, due to the sheer pain alone. Fair comment " If the “recovery” you are referring to is his status. Check again, the status is from yesterday. He’s not been online since yesterday. I hope the OP is ok and if he comes back, please seek support locally OP and talk to professionals. What happened to you was not consensual OP regardless of where you were or what else was going on at the time. | |||
"You're right. The man above doesn't understand and is criticising his grammar after his ordeal. He doesn't understand the stigma for R victim's especially male ones. The equation is very simple. Did he give permission for this other man to enter him, the answer is no! He didn't say, I said he could but he did it too early, which implies a definite communication issue, still not nice but consent has been given. What this poor man has experienced is awful. Seems to have recovered pretty quickly though, hasn't he And how do you know he isn't faking being ok....people do that after traumatic events you know Why is he asking for meets yesterday? Wouldn't that be the last thing you would want to do? Especially if he's still injured from it. I became hyper sexual after r*pe its actually a very very common response to it... In my experience it's not a common response if you're a man who has become injured from aggressive anal sex. It is the last thing you would want to do, due to the sheer pain alone. Fair comment If the “recovery” you are referring to is his status. Check again, the status is from yesterday. He’s not been online since yesterday. I hope the OP is ok and if he comes back, please seek support locally OP and talk to professionals. What happened to you was not consensual OP regardless of where you were or what else was going on at the time." I don't know when exactly he made this thread, but there can't be much difference between this thread & that update. In the update, "randomencounter" is asking for people to meet him locally in a vague area, which doesn't sound much like he was at, or planning to go to a venue. | |||