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Self appreciation/low self-esteem
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Is it important for you to like your own pics for you to post them? Or do you post them anyway so others can get their preview?
I'm personally finding it a struggle to post my pics because I genuinely hate them and never enjoyed being infont of a camera. I don't mind my face too much but the rest of me is just not very attractive at all imo. It's a little easier for me because the Mrs is the main attraction so I can seemingly get away with it to some extent but it has been questioned why there's no pics of me on our profile. Now you know why I guess
- Mr S |
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"Is it important for you to like your own pics for you to post them? Or do you post them anyway so others can get their preview?
I'm personally finding it a struggle to post my pics because I genuinely hate them and never enjoyed being infont of a camera. I don't mind my face too much but the rest of me is just not very attractive at all imo. It's a little easier for me because the Mrs is the main attraction so I can seemingly get away with it to some extent but it has been questioned why there's no pics of me on our profile. Now you know why I guess
- Mr S"
Interesting question...
Obviously we all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone looks at themselves and sees the faults that are invisible to others.
On the other hand, it is hard to feel sexy and confident if you feel that you're unattractive.
Gerally, I think: If the thing you don't like is something that you "can" change, then either change it or learn to accept it. If it's something you can't change, then stressing about it is pointless.
Cal |
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By *adgerMan 25 weeks ago
york |
"Is it important for you to like your own pics for you to post them? Or do you post them anyway so others can get their preview?
I'm personally finding it a struggle to post my pics because I genuinely hate them and never enjoyed being infont of a camera. I don't mind my face too much but the rest of me is just not very attractive at all imo. It's a little easier for me because the Mrs is the main attraction so I can seemingly get away with it to some extent but it has been questioned why there's no pics of me on our profile. Now you know why I guess
- Mr S"
Personally I think you should only post what you are comfortable with… maybe have a proper photo session rather than selfies… I’m sure a photographers eye can capture the inner you and you’ll like the results  |
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Interesting question...
Obviously we all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone looks at themselves and sees the faults that are invisible to others.
On the other hand, it is hard to feel sexy and confident if you feel that you're unattractive.
Gerally, I think: If the thing you don't like is something that you "can" change, then either change it or learn to accept it. If it's something you can't change, then stressing about it is pointless.
Cal"
Thank you for your response Even though I feel my body is unattractive, I still regard myself to be somewhat confident at the same time and my face (which is very average) has carried me most the way with any "success" I've had with others.
It's not something I'm particularly stressing about either, I just can't get in the frame of mind of saying "fuck it" and post something I personally find unattractive about myself. |
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Personally I think you should only post what you are comfortable with… maybe have a proper photo session rather than selfies… I’m sure a photographers eye can capture the inner you and you’ll like the results "
This isnt a half bad idea, thank you. Don't think I'd have the balls too just yet but it something to consider as they'd definitely do a better job than I can. I'm shit at selfies! |
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I've gone from never being bare chested in public or opening the door in my pjs to posting naked pics on a website.
I still don't do any of the above but at the same time I don't post pics just for the sake of it either.
Any pics I post here are because I like them. If I didn't I wouldn't post them.
If others decide they like them that's just a bonus but it's not a dealbreaker thankfully as the number of fabs I get has never reflected the comments I get every now and again.
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"I've gone from never being bare chested in public or opening the door in my pjs to posting naked pics on a website.
I still don't do any of the above but at the same time I don't post pics just for the sake of it either.
Any pics I post here are because I like them. If I didn't I wouldn't post them.
If others decide they like them that's just a bonus but it's not a dealbreaker thankfully as the number of fabs I get has never reflected the comments I get every now and again.
"
You do have some great pics. May have to take some inspiration from them and get into sexy mode |
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"You don't have to post full body pics.
Also, turn fabs off. "
That's true. But its all well and good showing my chest and shoulders and people being like "phwoar", but then be disappointed In person I have bigger love handles than them |
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I'm not liking my pics (there's more on the couples profile) but I'm at the point of fuck it just post them, I've pilled on the lbs and don't like myself much at the moment but if I didn't post them people would still assume I was a size 8 which isn't the case, I wouldn't want to disappoint people in real life when the size 14 turns up, so I post them.
Either way we have fun taking them which I don't enjoy.
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"Is it important for you to like your own pics for you to post them? Or do you post them anyway so others can get their preview?
I'm personally finding it a struggle to post my pics because I genuinely hate them and never enjoyed being infont of a camera. I don't mind my face too much but the rest of me is just not very attractive at all imo. It's a little easier for me because the Mrs is the main attraction so I can seemingly get away with it to some extent but it has been questioned why there's no pics of me on our profile. Now you know why I guess
- Mr S"
Gritting my teeth for the purpose of solidarity; I am quite self conscious physically (most gym-goers are, I’ve found) so it isn’t just you x |
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After much deliberation, and all your replies (thank you!), I've taken a pic and posted it, urgh I really do not enjoy taking selfies. Doesn't really show what I look like but at least I can say I have one on our profile now haha |
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We are all I think our own worst critics. Different people like different body shapes etc so it’s a bit pointless making comparisons on here. My view is if people don’t like how I look they’ll just pass over my profile and that’s cool. I’m not going to beat myself up about wanting to look this or that. |
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I get it. A few of years ago I was 3 stone heavier (thanks, sertraline) and not very comfortable with it. I posted pics anyway because,
a. I didn't want to mislead anyone about what I really looked like, and
b. just because I didn't like my body, that didn’t mean that others saw me the same way. |
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"I get it. A few of years ago I was 3 stone heavier (thanks, sertraline) and not very comfortable with it. I posted pics anyway because,
a. I didn't want to mislead anyone about what I really looked like, and
b. just because I didn't like my body, that didn’t mean that others saw me the same way."
I hear ya, I'm on various medication too with side affects of weight gain..boooo.
That's the thing, I really don't want my pics to mislead anyone. Im still not ready to show all my wobbly bits but maybe one day. Like you say, it's evident here that some people like the chunky variety anyway. |
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By *eliWoman 25 weeks ago
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I have to like them to some extent. Or at least, not want to vomit when I upload them. Normally I check with a friend that they're too grim.
But yes, sometimes I'm not truly happy with myself but still post a photo. I have a big fear of someone thinking I'm catfishing them so I grin and bear it. |
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"I get it. A few of years ago I was 3 stone heavier (thanks, sertraline) and not very comfortable with it. I posted pics anyway because,
a. I didn't want to mislead anyone about what I really looked like, and
b. just because I didn't like my body, that didn’t mean that others saw me the same way.
I hear ya, I'm on various medication too with side affects of weight gain..boooo.
That's the thing, I really don't want my pics to mislead anyone. Im still not ready to show all my wobbly bits but maybe one day. Like you say, it's evident here that some people like the chunky variety anyway. "
You could just post pictures fully dressed looking dapper  |
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"Is it important for you to like your own pics for you to post them? Or do you post them anyway so others can get their preview?
I'm personally finding it a struggle to post my pics because I genuinely hate them and never enjoyed being infont of a camera. I don't mind my face too much but the rest of me is just not very attractive at all imo. It's a little easier for me because the Mrs is the main attraction so I can seemingly get away with it to some extent but it has been questioned why there's no pics of me on our profile. Now you know why I guess
- Mr S"
I find it difficult to post pictures for the same reason - I struggle to take any in which I don't think I look terrible (especially at the moment as I've put a little weight on over the last year).
But if it helps, I just checked your profile and honestly I'd be happy with the picture you've posted of yourself if I were you, you look absolutely fine. |
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B is not comfortable in photos. But as you're looking to meet couples and women it's really important that there are photos of both of you.
They don't have to show your face, and a timer/selfie timer app is your friend. As is a black and white filter, it instantly makes a photo sexier. I thinks B's photos show that you don't have to be athletic with a six pack to have sexy photos 
J
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You definitely should have some photos of you OP as you’re trying to meet as a couple and that involves both of you 
Timer is good. As is portrait mode. They don’t have to be too revealing. Just find something you’re comfortable with  |
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"B is not comfortable in photos. But as you're looking to meet couples and women it's really important that there are photos of both of you.
They don't have to show your face, and a timer/selfie timer app is your friend. As is a black and white filter, it instantly makes a photo sexier. I thinks B's photos show that you don't have to be athletic with a six pack to have sexy photos
J
"
Good insporation, thank you x |
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"You definitely should have some photos of you OP as you’re trying to meet as a couple and that involves both of you
Timer is good. As is portrait mode. They don’t have to be too revealing. Just find something you’re comfortable with "
Sending you my dick now  |
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By *a LunaWoman 25 weeks ago
South Wales |
I post pics I think are ok. For me I enjoy erotic photography, so in my head I try to aim for pics that look like sexually charged front covers of Mills & Boon novels.
I’m woefully delusional, but hey! It keeps me quiet.
Do what works for you OP. |
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I only post pictures I like enough to post, and move them to private/delete if I change my mind. I do think it's harder for a guy to look "sexy" though, but maybe that's just me projecting how I think/feel.
Why don't you ask your partner to take some pics of you? There are some great couples' profiles with pics together where they both look great for inspiration too!
Good luck!
|
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"I only post pictures I like enough to post, and move them to private/delete if I change my mind. I do think it's harder for a guy to look "sexy" though, but maybe that's just me projecting how I think/feel.
Why don't you ask your partner to take some pics of you? There are some great couples' profiles with pics together where they both look great for inspiration too!
Good luck!
"
Damn you have a nice arse! Not jelous... Promise!
The thought of someone else taking my pic is somehow worse but will try give it a go |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Is it important for you to like your own pics for you to post them? Or do you post them anyway so others can get their preview?
I'm personally finding it a struggle to post my pics because I genuinely hate them and never enjoyed being infont of a camera. I don't mind my face too much but the rest of me is just not very attractive at all imo. It's a little easier for me because the Mrs is the main attraction so I can seemingly get away with it to some extent but it has been questioned why there's no pics of me on our profile. Now you know why I guess
- Mr S"
I struggled to embrace my body for most of my life... My most fabbed photo on this profile makes my toes curl, but clearly others see something that they like / can fantasise about.
What I have discovered is that backgrounds and lighting play a huge part in whether i look terrible or good enough to load.
So I would suggest taking test shots in different places around your home - Try partially closing curtains, switching on light sources in different places, moving lamps down low, or spinning them around, opening /closing doors.
When you review the photos note where the light /background are more flattering and then start to practise your poses in this spot, in different types of clothing /states of undress - i think it's the Mr right, so look at some of the guys pics for inspiration, there are some beautiful male pics on fab
Then use a tripod and use the screen to line up my pose - my camera is set to take a picture when it hears a noise so i get into pose and then yell or cough  (my neighbours must think i have pneumonia )
Taking pictures at different times of the day impacts the lighting too, so i you have the luxury of a free weekend play around in the day. Maybe the Mrs will help too. Taking time now will help you to speed up the process later, because you'll know your best location /time of day and lighting + pose.
Remember that most people take 20 or 30 shots until they find a 'good' one... Keep tweaking /shooting.
I hope this helps x |
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"I only post pictures I like enough to post, and move them to private/delete if I change my mind. I do think it's harder for a guy to look "sexy" though, but maybe that's just me projecting how I think/feel.
Why don't you ask your partner to take some pics of you? There are some great couples' profiles with pics together where they both look great for inspiration too!
Good luck!
Damn you have a nice arse! Not jelous... Promise!
The thought of someone else taking my pic is somehow worse but will try give it a go "
Haha, thank you.
I get that. I just meant, take heart from her taking a pic she finds hot or that she thinks you look good in. You can be sure if she does, lots of other people will too. |
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I hated being in photos before I joined fab. Over time though it's turned out to really help my confidence and I also enjoy it as creative outlet.
If I post a photo it's because I like it. I might take it down later because I've changed my mind. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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OP I only post what I am comfortable with ... as a couple good to have pics of you both but you don't have to have loads on there
Self compassion is often required, I am curvier than I was a year ago and struggling with menopause wobbly bits. |
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By *adgerMan 24 weeks ago
york |
"
Personally I think you should only post what you are comfortable with… maybe have a proper photo session rather than selfies… I’m sure a photographers eye can capture the inner you and you’ll like the results
This isnt a half bad idea, thank you. Don't think I'd have the balls too just yet but it something to consider as they'd definitely do a better job than I can. I'm shit at selfies! "
You’re welcome |
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My advice would be don’t waste time looking at the imperfections, admire looking at & highlighting your best features 