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Views on mixed race relationships.
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I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one"
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture. |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture. "
But I met her when I was 17 tbf. I was ignorant |
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one"
I understand what you mean. The cultural difficulties are usually the main problem. |
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By *rispyDuckMan 22 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
All my relationships have been mixed race & I’ve loved every moment. I love who I love race religion background blah blah is irrelevant to me long it’s how the person respects me treats me well & is compassionate and fun ofcourse  |
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"I was just wondering what everyone’s views are on mixed race relationships? I have skin in the game, as I’m a product of one, but I’m curious to hear other people’s opinions. "
No views other than if you feel a connection and attraction to a person then you need not worry about any other thing at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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I think cultural difference can become a factor when you have children. I think understanding of your partner’s experience is importante too. I could never be with anyone of any race that undermines my experience with racism. And this makes me think of Hazel Carby talking about black families being safe spaces and places of resistance against racism. It’s important to have space for that in interracial relationships and to create that for your children. |
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture. "
I completely agree that growing up in the same culture makes things a hell of a lot easier. When the cultures are radically different, that’s when the problems arise. Unfortunately, it’s the children who suffer. |
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I would be open to a relationship with anyone, regardless of race, if they felt like a fit
It's the feels that matter, not the race
But...
I would want to still be me
My niece was in a mixed race / mixed religion marriage and her husband and his family tried to change her
It was religious culture that caused the issues, not the race |
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"
I understand what you mean. The cultural difficulties are usually the main problem."
This.
I work in agriculture and they worked in horticulture, we tried to make a go of it but the cultural differences were just too great  |
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I understand what you mean. The cultural difficulties are usually the main problem.
This.
I work in agriculture and they worked in horticulture, we tried to make a go of it but the cultural differences were just too great "
 That's so awful I want to marry it  |
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture. "
There are certain things that your points of reference are so wildly different on and neither of you know until you trip over them. |
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
I understand what you mean. The cultural difficulties are usually the main problem."
They can be overcome but I think one person will need to make bigger compromises than the other. In my experience they work best when one tries to fully embrace the culture of the other |
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"
I understand what you mean. The cultural difficulties are usually the main problem.
This.
I work in agriculture and they worked in horticulture, we tried to make a go of it but the cultural differences were just too great "
And what Nicole and Robbie said up there..  |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture.
There are certain things that your points of reference are so wildly different on and neither of you know until you trip over them. "
That’s why for me it was important that my fiancé was socialised in similar spaces to me. As in, had been in schools and friendships that reflected similar cultural things to my own. So it wasn’t new for her. We like similar music and food and she understands language in a similar way to me. If that wasn’t the case I don’t think we’d have worked or, like you said, it would’ve been harder and taken a bigger embracing of culture.
A factor is, growing up in Britain as a person of colour, your experience is of British culture and British cultural values. So it’s easier to navigate that if your partner is white British for example than it is for your white partner to navigate your Jamaican family’s culture (unless they’re used to being in that space like I said) |
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture.
There are certain things that your points of reference are so wildly different on and neither of you know until you trip over them.
That’s why for me it was important that my fiancé was socialised in similar spaces to me. As in, had been in schools and friendships that reflected similar cultural things to my own. So it wasn’t new for her. We like similar music and food and she understands language in a similar way to me. If that wasn’t the case I don’t think we’d have worked or, like you said, it would’ve been harder and taken a bigger embracing of culture.
A factor is, growing up in Britain as a person of colour, your experience is of British culture and British cultural values. So it’s easier to navigate that if your partner is white British for example than it is for your white partner to navigate your Jamaican family’s culture (unless they’re used to being in that space like I said)"
Yeah
I found certain things particularly difficult and made many mistakes because I just didn't know. Nobody in the wider community was terribly tolerant towards me . |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture.
There are certain things that your points of reference are so wildly different on and neither of you know until you trip over them.
That’s why for me it was important that my fiancé was socialised in similar spaces to me. As in, had been in schools and friendships that reflected similar cultural things to my own. So it wasn’t new for her. We like similar music and food and she understands language in a similar way to me. If that wasn’t the case I don’t think we’d have worked or, like you said, it would’ve been harder and taken a bigger embracing of culture.
A factor is, growing up in Britain as a person of colour, your experience is of British culture and British cultural values. So it’s easier to navigate that if your partner is white British for example than it is for your white partner to navigate your Jamaican family’s culture (unless they’re used to being in that space like I said)
Yeah
I found certain things particularly difficult and made many mistakes because I just didn't know. Nobody in the wider community was terribly tolerant towards me . "
The other often not talked about factor.
- ‘Why couldn’t you find a nice [insert racial/ ethnic background] girl?’
Comes from many different places but makes it tough to navigate for sure
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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Slightly relevant- I’ve been watching some funny TikToks of Black people talking about fear of their ‘Blackness’ being wiped out in like two generations. It’s humorously done. They’re funny. But I know that for many minorities communities this is a concern especially around preservation of culture. |
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"I've got the same opinion on mixed race relationships as I have on any.
There will be difficulties. Some of them will be based on cultural differences, many of them not.
I was in a mixed race relationship which failed, culture played a part but not a major one
Cultural difference I imagine is a huge factor. My partner grew up in similar spaces to me so I think that’s made our relationship easier. Funnily enough I never thought I would’ve dated outside my race until I met her. And it was mostly because of perceived cultural differences and preferences around culture.
There are certain things that your points of reference are so wildly different on and neither of you know until you trip over them.
That’s why for me it was important that my fiancé was socialised in similar spaces to me. As in, had been in schools and friendships that reflected similar cultural things to my own. So it wasn’t new for her. We like similar music and food and she understands language in a similar way to me. If that wasn’t the case I don’t think we’d have worked or, like you said, it would’ve been harder and taken a bigger embracing of culture.
A factor is, growing up in Britain as a person of colour, your experience is of British culture and British cultural values. So it’s easier to navigate that if your partner is white British for example than it is for your white partner to navigate your Jamaican family’s culture (unless they’re used to being in that space like I said)
Yeah
I found certain things particularly difficult and made many mistakes because I just didn't know. Nobody in the wider community was terribly tolerant towards me .
The other often not talked about factor.
- ‘Why couldn’t you find a nice [insert racial/ ethnic background] girl?’
Comes from many different places but makes it tough to navigate for sure
"
Yep.
Although his parents were ok towards me and his sister eventually came round to the idea. She was destined for an arranged marriage and probably felt a bit of resentment.
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It's been an eye-opening experience.
In the inception, from 'friends' who started treating me differently and were uncomfortable, being around my partner. When it became a serious relationship, before that they had no issue.
Between my wife and I it was never an issue. Her family were very accepting of me and mine of her. That's not always been the case though and a couple of partners have had to hide my existence from their family.
As others have suggested there was more cultural similarity than difference and our beliefs/values were very much aligned.
The heartbreak for me personally was seeing how it was such a non-issue for my children when they were little, transitioning to racially-motivated bullying as they got older.
I guess the issues I've experienced are more due to external factors than our relationship, which is kind of a sad reflection really.
At one time I'd have said things have improved over the years, but then that's the essence of privilege really isn't it? I think that's the biggest lesson I've learnt. It's easy to say when you have no skin in the game, as you put it. |
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"I was just wondering what everyone’s views are on mixed race relationships? I have skin in the game, as I’m a product of one, but I’m curious to hear other people’s opinions. "
I think it's no one's business but the people in the relationship x |
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Living in a country where people used to get kneecapped just for being in a cross community relationship I agree with the comments above that it's nobody's business apart from the couple themselves.
That's the only opinion I have on the matter. |
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To me, I grew up in a homophobic racist community in Scotland.
I was never one to use the racist words and one day saying they as I was saying I fancy men I broke.
Date who you want, skin colour doesn’t matter at all. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman 19 weeks ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I don't have an opinion, because it isn't something I think about.
I'd imagine that there could be some issues to overcome, potentially more issues than if you're in a relationship with someone of the same race. And unfortunately there are people who take issue with something that is none of their business. Hopefully there are fewer of those these days, and hopefully you'll never encounter them.
As long as people are living their joy and not hurting anyone else, I say rock on, love is beautiful. |
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By *eliWoman 19 weeks ago
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I'm mixed race so every relationship is a mixed race relationship.
I really don't think too much about it. Bar sharing a shower and my hair going full curl 'fro. I really like you if I'm comfortable to be natural haired around you. |
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"I'm mixed race so every relationship is a mixed race relationship.
I really don't think too much about it. Bar sharing a shower and my hair going full curl 'fro. I really like you if I'm comfortable to be natural haired around you."
We can share hair products and tips |
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By *eliWoman 19 weeks ago
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"I'm mixed race so every relationship is a mixed race relationship.
I really don't think too much about it. Bar sharing a shower and my hair going full curl 'fro. I really like you if I'm comfortable to be natural haired around you.
We can share hair products and tips "
Oh I'd love that! My hairdresser yesterday was horrified I wasn't embracing my natural curls, especially in this heat. He really wanted to diffuse them and for me to go full 'fro. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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I have no wish, or right to judge two people who have chosen to be together for any reason, be it race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or whatever! If they are happy, that’s all that matters! |
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"I was just wondering what everyone’s views are on mixed race relationships? I have skin in the game, as I’m a product of one, but I’m curious to hear other people’s opinions. "
It’s no different to any other kind of relationship |
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"I'm mixed race so every relationship is a mixed race relationship.
I really don't think too much about it. Bar sharing a shower and my hair going full curl 'fro. I really like you if I'm comfortable to be natural haired around you.
We can share hair products and tips
Oh I'd love that! My hairdresser yesterday was horrified I wasn't embracing my natural curls, especially in this heat. He really wanted to diffuse them and for me to go full 'fro. "
I shaved my head for twenty years. I don't mention it at the salon. |
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In reality it's not a big deal these days, but still love interracial sex.
