when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ? |
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"when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ?"
They've probably got so many they can't keep up  |
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Read the site rules - no reply means no interest.
They didn’t ask YOU to send them a message so they can decide whether to reply to you or not.
It’s not rude to not reply - it’s just good time management. I’d rather spend time on here finding people we match with rather than chat to people we don’t.
K |
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"when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ?"
Maybe your message didnt make a good first impression? Couples get loads of messages, single girls I assume get way more. Just because they say they want to chat, they'll still be looking at any message and will decide if it's worth replying to.
For example, as it says on our profile, please don't message us asking how we are, you've no idea how many messages we get saying "Hi how are you?" |
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"when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ?"
Maybe they don’t want to?
Just a thought OP. And please do read the site rules. It’s not impolite to not respond. It simply means no thanks  |
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"when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ?"
Because folk, although genuine, still have to see something in you that makes them want to reply. The "you" not meaning you specifically, OP.
If I didn't like the look of the person who came and said hi to me in a bar, I'd politely decline his advances. But then, I don't get as many guys coming up to me in a bar than I do messaging me on here And as per site rules, no reply = no interest.
Sorry, I know that's not helpful but maybe it's a reason?
Good luck OP. You'll find your way on here if you're tenacious x
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Remember OP, if you send a message, the majority will look at your profile first and if that's not up to scratch or a headache to read then they will not reply. |
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By *rrolloutMan 25 weeks ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
Replying is a nice courtesy but for the reason you stated, kind of understandable if they don't.
What gets my goat though is when women choose not to show your message has been read. I think that's ruder than not replying to be honest. |
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"Replying is a nice courtesy but for the reason you stated, kind of understandable if they don't.
What gets my goat though is when women choose not to show your message has been read. I think that's ruder than not replying to be honest."
Why?
And why don’t you just delete your sent ones so you can’t look? |
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By *rrolloutMan 25 weeks ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others. |
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If you’re messaging a woman on this site, and don’t get a reply, do not take it personally at all. They aren’t rejecting you as a person, they don’t know you personally.
You’ve no idea what’s going on at their end either so it’ll do you no good to dwell.
We men aren’t known for being especially delicate in showing our in interest online. |
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"Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others."
I think this response is to my question.
But it may have been for a whole number of reasons. None of which you’re party to. The only thing you do know is they haven’t responded 
*If you press reply+quote you can respond to a question in a thread. Hope this helps |
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"Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others."
I’m gonna be a bit brutal here but it comes from a good place; if you need “closure” from someone you’ve not even spoken with, you’re investing too much. Ask yourself why it matters so much to you.
I’ve been there dude, it sucks but online dating in any capacity is superficial. Don’t let it control your mood so early on, you’ll appear needy and nobody enjoys that in a conversation.
Good luck  |
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By *rBobbMan 25 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others."
Sometimes they may be looking for something or someone specific and unfortunately it may not be you.
Don't dwell on the ones who have not read or replied but look forward to the one may do in the future. |
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"Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others."
If a woman is interested, she'll respond. Believe me |
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No reply = no thank you.
No one is entitled to a reply, they aren't interested so why waste time saying no thanks to everyone who messages, they didn't ask for that message.
Usually a no thank you is followed by abuse or why nots? After replying it also leaves them open to message again even if you put filters up. |
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Im never disrespectful nor would i bad mouth anyone just trying to show kindness and have a decent conversation with others surely thats the way forward to having fun or is old school not accepted on here ? x |
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"Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others."
If they don't reply, they're not interested, full stop. |
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"Im never disrespectful nor would i bad mouth anyone just trying to show kindness and have a decent conversation with others surely thats the way forward to having fun or is old school not accepted on here ? x"
Why would someone chat to someone they don’t know and aren’t interested in.
The way to get more interest on here as a guy is to have intriguing pics and an enticing profile.
K |
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We will reply to anyone that has read our bio and sent a nice message.
It costs nothing to be polite.
Even if its a thanks but not for us.
We don't reply to blank profiles or lazy messages or anyone asking how our day or week have been.we all know they are not really interested in what kind of day we have had. |
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"Im never disrespectful nor would i bad mouth anyone just trying to show kindness and have a decent conversation with others surely thats the way forward to having fun or is old school not accepted on here ? x"
It's 2024 squire, old skool is banned, fab is all about modern methods
Mr |
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"Replying is a nice courtesy but for the reason you stated, kind of understandable if they don't.
What gets my goat though is when women choose not to show your message has been read. I think that's ruder than not replying to be honest."
It's often the case that women (and couples) get so many messages that they 'fall off of the end' of their inbox, which only shows 99 messages or something. Your message in effect 'disappears' and the more messages they get the further it gets pushed down. |
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Issue is two fold
1 - many females and couples generally get in the tens, some possibly even more messages in a day and responding to all - and I guess now keeping a track of those they are interested in without the message subject - can be hard work. The chances some will see your message are very slim.
2 - they are simply not interested and don't reply. Whilst I agree for common courtesy a "thanks but no thanks" would be nice, it doesn't seem the way of the fab world and even while we have tried this in the past you end up with "why what's wrong with us?" type responses. Most of the time it is clear they either haven't bothered reading your profile, or are chancing it, and you don't have any interest in meeting them - prehaps they list they are looking for something different to you or are out of your age range. |
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"Issue is two fold
1 - many females and couples generally get in the tens, some possibly even more messages in a day and responding to all - and I guess now keeping a track of those they are interested in without the message subject - can be hard work. The chances some will see your message are very slim.
2 - they are simply not interested and don't reply. Whilst I agree for common courtesy a "thanks but no thanks" would be nice, it doesn't seem the way of the fab world and even while we have tried this in the past you end up with "why what's wrong with us?" type responses. Most of the time it is clear they either haven't bothered reading your profile, or are chancing it, and you don't have any interest in meeting them - prehaps they list they are looking for something different to you or are out of your age range. "
Totally agree with you,but the ones that question our decision just get deleted.but I must say 99% of people we have said no to have been very polite.
Also 95% of messages we get are the usual hi.hows you.or similar so they do get deleted without a reply. |
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"Because then you have closure that person is not interested. Without knowing my message has been read, I don't know whether it has just got lost in the deluge of emails she has received from others."
probably lost in a deluge of others, nothing personal but maybe they have just lost the will to live in even looking at their inbox - its a full time job at times, mass delete is a great button !  |
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Though we always reply (even if it’s just a polite “thanks but no thanks”) we understand people are under no obligation to reply.
If they’ve read it and don’t reply in a couple of days, block so you don’t make the mistake of messaging again and move on.
Not even worth bothering about. |
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By *ee69Man 25 weeks ago
glasgow |
It nice to be nice a guess lol , a like to chat , though mr chats shit lol
Think most girls on here just get so many messages it hard to keep up , got to be genuine interested to have a convo , can’t blame them tbh |
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I agree with all of the above
When I started on here in 2016 I use to reply to every message...
It was exhausting time consuming
Not to mention the abuse I got back when I did say thanks but no thanks. Hardly any read my profile first... Just horrendous.
Kinda made me lose a bit of faith in mankind.
So now I quick filter -
I get hounded like most women on here, I currently have 378 unread messages in my inbox.
My advice get in the chat rooms, go to a club be involved in the scene. |
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It's completely unrealistic to expect most people you make contact with, to be probably compatible and to likely want to go beyond the site guidance that no reply = no thanks. This site has tens of thousands of users and some will get many contact attempts, 99% of which will be of zero interest. Always assume you won't get a response, as you probably won't be the only message sender in their inbox. |
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By *hoirCouple 25 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ?"
"It's not us, it's you."
C |
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By *bi HaiveMan 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"when people say there genuine and would like to chat why dont they reply to peoples messages not a good first impression. Try to be kind and polite as if you are face to face will go a long way whats everyones thoughts ?"
My thoughts?
If I was face to face and someone I didn't know came up to me and started talking I'd probably reply 'uh huh' and carry on about my business.
I would automatically feel obligated to strike up a conversation.
And if what they said was weird, assumptive or in any way unpleasant I'd just walk away or ignore them.
Being face to face isn't really any different to being on here. |
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