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Intimacy and Fab....
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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How comfortable are you with intimacy when you meet someone from Fab?
What does intimacy look like to you? Are there any particular intimate moments/actions with another that you really enjoy? Bonus points if it's one that's not commonly mentioned.
(It's too early for a sex thread so this is a happy medium) |
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I'm not comfortable with intimacy, for me it defines closeness almost being vulnerable and open, the cuddles the hand holding, the things I do with the Mr and even then I found that hard.
Sex however yes I guess is intimate but for me it's sex it's not romantic it's not me giving myself away romantically it's just an act which I enjoy & it's separate to what I'd describe as the intimacy I have in my relationships, that's just for us. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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There's things I maybe once did that I don't anymore, it's my way of not falling for anyone I guess.
The content of messages is kept non emotional.
I don't do names.
I don't do the after cuddles.
I don't want to fall asleep with them near me, preferably they leave.
I don't want to be left feeling vulnerable with anyone. Well, not unless it involves restraints and stuff.
But yeah, I'm not a fan of intimacy. |
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Handholding is so underrated. I love it when someone catches my hand or links my arm to walk. To me that can be quite an excited kind of touch. I was out with someone I met on fab who grabbed my hand because he wanted to lead me into the shop to get a solero for us. It was playful and excitable and those are qualities I really like in people. I really value friendship and that’s exactly what it was. Made for a very easy going afternoon together in the sun watching the clouds. |
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By *ony MannMan 25 weeks ago
New York City New York USA |
Hiding my nature at work makes meeting fabbers refreshing and that chance of just chatting openly, about everything but work.
If our boundaries differ it does not matter as long as we are honest and respectful |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"Close contact, kissing, hugging, discussions of my deepest and darkest secrets. But over a coffee.
I'm not mad. "
Yeah; you're never mad. Imagine just randomly doing those things.
What coffee? Asking for a friend. |
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I love the touching and kissing, building everything up 
I absolutely adore it when Mr J is driving and he puts his hand on my thigh, it literally sends tingles through me.
Too early for dirty talk for you Meli? Are you sure  
Miss S x |
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I’m fine and happy with intimacy on meets, whether there are feelings or not. It’s not a necessary part of being together but if it happens, it happens. I’m not anticipating a journey into the sunset |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"I'm not comfortable with intimacy, for me it defines closeness almost being vulnerable and open, the cuddles the hand holding, the things I do with the Mr and even then I found that hard.
Sex however yes I guess is intimate but for me it's sex it's not romantic it's not me giving myself away romantically it's just an act which I enjoy & it's separate to what I'd describe as the intimacy I have in my relationships, that's just for us."
I suppose there's an element of vulnerability to it. A shared one. It depends on what the intimacy is.
So, you're looking to meet women... Zero cuddles, zero hand holding, very much just sex? |
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If it feels good then I'm comfortable with it.
Hugging, kissing, hand holding, close contact I find all of that adds to the build up and makes it even better when the clothes come off and I love the aftercare/cuddles.
Intimacy for me is more the life outside of Fab that I share with my wife |
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"I'm not comfortable with intimacy, for me it defines closeness almost being vulnerable and open, the cuddles the hand holding, the things I do with the Mr and even then I found that hard.
Sex however yes I guess is intimate but for me it's sex it's not romantic it's not me giving myself away romantically it's just an act which I enjoy & it's separate to what I'd describe as the intimacy I have in my relationships, that's just for us.
I suppose there's an element of vulnerability to it. A shared one. It depends on what the intimacy is.
So, you're looking to meet women... Zero cuddles, zero hand holding, very much just sex?"
Yep exactly that, just sex. |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"There's things I maybe once did that I don't anymore, it's my way of not falling for anyone I guess.
The content of messages is kept non emotional.
I don't do names.
I don't do the after cuddles.
I don't want to fall asleep with them near me, preferably they leave.
I don't want to be left feeling vulnerable with anyone. Well, not unless it involves restraints and stuff.
But yeah, I'm not a fan of intimacy. "
You don't do names as in nicknames or real names? Because, and I hope your vomit bucket is ready, when someone uses my real name I feel like my life is a song (I Think He Knows). It's quite an intimate thing. Weird to explain.
Has it worked for you so far, keeping intimacy far removed from Fab? Have you ever liked someone a bit more than for the pretty penis? |
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It depends on the other person(s) for us and how well we know them. Obviously as a couple we have each other but when we play with a single person, we’ll be touchy feely if they are comfortable.
We enjoy having longer meets with people, like overnighters and so there’s time for connecting, socialising and playing.
We also don’t have any rules in terms of what we keep for each other, although there will never be over intimate moments with anyone other than ourselves.
But cuddling and kissing is fine.
We had an occasion where a lady came to stay for a couple of nights and so there was plenty of social and downtimes from play sessions. We watched a movie and both ladies had their head on my chest as we were wrapped up in a blanket and they fell asleep. It didn’t feel out of place but with someone else it may have done so it’s all about assessing the situation.
With a FWB gent we met up for over a year, we’d spend 2/3 nights together, as we lived further away and C pretty much had 2 boyfriends. She’d sit between us both when watching TV and she’d be fine kissing him without me being in the room.
Obviously these aren’t ‘regular’ meets but long term friends who we’ve built trust and friendship up with is all good.
K
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"Handholding is so underrated. I love it when someone catches my hand or links my arm to walk. To me that can be quite an excited kind of touch. I was out with someone I met on fab who grabbed my hand because he wanted to lead me into the shop to get a solero for us. It was playful and excitable and those are qualities I really like in people. I really value friendship and that’s exactly what it was. Made for a very easy going afternoon together in the sun watching the clouds. "
Oh that sounds so adorable! It doesn't have to mean running hand in hand in to the sunset together, it could mean they're comfortable with you. Comfortable enough to be tactile.
Are you quite a tactile person Jamie? Asking like I've never met you, obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"There's things I maybe once did that I don't anymore, it's my way of not falling for anyone I guess.
The content of messages is kept non emotional.
I don't do names.
I don't do the after cuddles.
I don't want to fall asleep with them near me, preferably they leave.
I don't want to be left feeling vulnerable with anyone. Well, not unless it involves restraints and stuff.
But yeah, I'm not a fan of intimacy.
You don't do names as in nicknames or real names? Because, and I hope your vomit bucket is ready, when someone uses my real name I feel like my life is a song (I Think He Knows). It's quite an intimate thing. Weird to explain.
Has it worked for you so far, keeping intimacy far removed from Fab? Have you ever liked someone a bit more than for the pretty penis?"
Real names, I think most just call me Raven.
It's worked well for the last 2 years, and no. There isn't anyone I'd miss. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I do like those little moments of intimacy you can share with your partner that can go noticed in a crowded room. A simple look, a gentle touch, or if we're alone, nothing beats a helicopter impression |
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High above the waters
on the mountain peak,
Soaking in the grandeur
more of His beauty seek.
Nature’s tune is singing
a melody of grace,
Rugged landscape beckons
God’s majesty, embrace.
Autumn colours fading
another season ends,
My Lord brings refreshment
connecting with true friends.
Blessing showers falling
renewing more than dirt,
Intimacy and love
addressing all my hurt. |
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If someone is a someone I desire intimacy with, it doesn't really matter where I first met them.
I don't enter into anything on fab with an expectation of any kind of intimacy. But if it develops, it really doesn't matter if here is where we first connected.
I like the soft kisses. Those moments when your eyes catch each other and the rest of the world disappears. That soft spark when skin brushes skin unexpectedly.
I also like the intimacy of having the living shit beaten out of me too. That's just for the really special ones though  |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"Hiding my nature at work makes meeting fabbers refreshing and that chance of just chatting openly, about everything but work.
If our boundaries differ it does not matter as long as we are honest and respectful "
That makes sense. If you're both open about what you're not comfortable with then you can work out if it could work or would be an utter disaster. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I get intimate when it becomes intimate. You don’t plan it, you don’t go looking for it in Fab, or anywhere for that matter people just are when they feel the same way. The last person to reach for my hand to hold it shown me how they felt around me. That was an intimate moment.
Stroking her hair as she falls asleep in your arm. That’s intimate. A little whisper when nobody else can hear what you say to each other. That’s intimate.
Then there’s the sharing of private feelings and stories nobody else will get to know. That’s intimate.
And you don’t have those search criteria when I look witching 20 miles of Manchester. 
I’m sensual and passionate when I like someone, but mostly people on fab want you to slap their ass. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I’m comfortable with intimacy. Like rubbing suncream on her back after she got burned. Laying in the park in the sun together. Cuddling in bed watching a movie. Cooking together. Body doubling.
Ofc I’m comfortable with it with people from fab. I am one of those polyam ppl. |
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This very much depends on the situation for me.
If it is someone I've met with a few times it isn't uncommon for lots of "intimate" things creeping in as the connection builds over time.
I'm a very tactile person naturally so that also has a part to play too.
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I like a little bit of intimacy. Those fuck-d*unk rambling conversations in the dark, stroking bits of soft skin normally kept covered up, having my hair played with, building those little bits of shorthand and looks that are only significant to the two of us.
I have limits to it. Certain topics I won't discuss, I'd find it weird to engage in PDAs and I'm not a hand-holder outside of the bedroom. I don't necessarily want to share what I'm thinking, and I'm not necessarily interested in what my partner is thinking at any given moment - that's their business and not mine. |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"I love the touching and kissing, building everything up
I absolutely adore it when Mr J is driving and he puts his hand on my thigh, it literally sends tingles through me.
Too early for dirty talk for you Meli? Are you sure
Miss S x"
Oh that's the sort of intimate moment I was hoping would come up. So dreamy. It's such a small act but so very hot.
Yes Miss S, I'm trying to erm... not evidently horndog so hard. I'll probably talk about sex soon though. Inevitable really. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"What does intimacy look like to you?
My cock in their hole
Le sigh Rex, le sigh. Darn it. "
As I said. Intimacy looks very different to what Fab has to offer.  |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"If it feels good then I'm comfortable with it.
Hugging, kissing, hand holding, close contact I find all of that adds to the build up and makes it even better when the clothes come off and I love the aftercare/cuddles.
Intimacy for me is more the life outside of Fab that I share with my wife"
Oh that's really sweet Dino!
There are different kinds of intimacy, I'm a big fan of aftercare and cuddles but also know it's not for everyone. And that's fine. People are naturally tactile or less so... it's about finding those who have the same mindset/touchy feely side as you. |
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I'm one of those tactile weirdos. I want all the cuddles, handholding and cute little moments. I want to sit down for a cuppa and have an arm put round me, lay my head on their chest (or vice versa) while we chat rubbish. I do all this stuff with my platonic friends already,I'm not having sex with someone that doesn't want to do it. |
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"I'm not comfortable with intimacy, for me it defines closeness almost being vulnerable and open, the cuddles the hand holding, the things I do with the Mr and even then I found that hard.
Sex however yes I guess is intimate but for me it's sex it's not romantic it's not me giving myself away romantically it's just an act which I enjoy & it's separate to what I'd describe as the intimacy I have in my relationships, that's just for us."
I am with this on this subject.I like a good time not a drama time cause those feelings then appear. Straight sex.
A bit of foreplay before during and after. Kiss goodbye till next time  |
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I’ve never really thought about what intimacy looks like before. I think for me, fab wise, it probably develops with people who know more of me than just some tits and hilarious wit. When you let someone see the more vulnerable parts of you, and they reciprocate. Or when something reminds you of them, and you want to tell them about it.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Sometimes it just happens automatically when you meet someone. You both feel really relaxed with eachother so no harm.
Personally for me though. No sleepovers on fab meets. sleepovers are for dating |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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There are different levels of intimacy for me.
There’s those that I can share non sexual physical intimacy such as hand holding, strokes, cuddles with but I won’t share emotional intimacy with.
Those who are privy to more vulnerability such as my inner most thoughts, views, etc. along with non sexual and sexual intimacy.
Beyond those two there’s a hybrid of sorts that experiences my most vulnerable, brokenness, along with the most delicious parts, and everything in between from stopping mid stride along the river and snogging because their lips must be on mine that very instant, someone who I do kind caring things for - I may cook for them, etc.,
I call this level of intimacy allowing myself the human experience of feeling and sharing those feelings with others. Whether that be falling in love, or simply sharing a deep bond without ever uttering ILY. Sometimes this intimacy is seen in how you care for someone, and the way you treat them. Those actions often speak louder than words.
I often explain this as having little feelers as extensions from my appendages that reach out and wrap around another person’s invisibly. This sounds weird eras I contrite, but that connection of my feelers intertwining with the feelers of others is unique which can look very different across different people I may connect with. It doesn’t make one connection any less or better, it’s just individualistic and when these feelers are intertwined it makes me feel safe, secure, cared for, warm, and happy. That is intimacy in a picture form I guess to me. |
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"Sometimes it just happens automatically when you meet someone. You both feel really relaxed with eachother so no harm.
Personally for me though. No sleepovers on fab meets. sleepovers are for dating "
That too op strikes a chord with how a fab meet should be always |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"I do like those little moments of intimacy you can share with your partner that can go noticed in a crowded room. A simple look, a gentle touch, or if we're alone, nothing beats a helicopter impression "
More men should do the helicopter. It's one of the greatest, most intimate moments you can share with someone. So underappreciated. So much you can get from it. |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"Her choking on my dick...
Lycan.  Shocking. Do people ch*ke on dicks?
I thought you were well versed Meli "
I have no idea what you mean. At all. Never even had a dick in my mouth let alone ch*ked on one. |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"I like a little bit of intimacy. Those fuck-d*unk rambling conversations in the dark, stroking bits of soft skin normally kept covered up, having my hair played with, building those little bits of shorthand and looks that are only significant to the two of us.
I have limits to it. Certain topics I won't discuss, I'd find it weird to engage in PDAs and I'm not a hand-holder outside of the bedroom. I don't necessarily want to share what I'm thinking, and I'm not necessarily interested in what my partner is thinking at any given moment - that's their business and not mine."
Fuck-d*unk. First you bring me zaftig and now there's this. You're an absolute star. I use cock-d*unk to describe that sort of... intoxicated on lust state of mind I can get in to but fuck-d*unk? So good. I adore it, that little cocoon of postcoital intimacy. I like how free the conversations can be, how silly and daft.
There's an intimacy in the language you share with another that you so beautifully described. You learn someone, they learn you. And then that shared easy conversation follows that's uniquely yours. Intimately so.
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By *ambertMan 25 weeks ago
Cheltenham |
"Close contact, kissing, hugging, discussions of my deepest and darkest secrets. But over a coffee.
I'm not mad.
Yeah; you're never mad. Imagine just randomly doing those things.
What coffee? Asking for a friend."
Depends, what's coffee do you like? |
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I thrive on the intimacy and get a real buzz from all those little moments, just between the 2 of us.
The look, the gentle kiss, the stroke, the hand holding the private jokes. I'm really tactile so that's what I get off on because the rest of the time I'm usually on my own with not much physical contact.
But, I draw the line at actually sleeping the the same bed as someone, they can go home and do that  |
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"I love the touching and kissing, building everything up
I absolutely adore it when Mr J is driving and he puts his hand on my thigh, it literally sends tingles through me.
Too early for dirty talk for you Meli? Are you sure
Miss S x
Oh that's the sort of intimate moment I was hoping would come up. So dreamy. It's such a small act but so very hot.
Yes Miss S, I'm trying to erm... not evidently horndog so hard. I'll probably talk about sex soon though. Inevitable really. "
I love it, it's so small yet means so much
Ofc, it's a SEX SITE after all
Miss S x |
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"
There are different kinds of intimacy, I'm a big fan of aftercare and cuddles but also know it's not for everyone. And that's fine. People are naturally tactile or less so... it's about finding those who have the same mindset/touchy feely side as you."
Oh absolutely.
There is so much to be gained from gentle caresses & holding someone in your arms, especially after enjoying each other sexually.
There is the small issue for me though that that kind of contact usually makes me super horny and wanting more.
I've often said that stroking a ladies naked body is way more likely to result in me being quickly aroused again than anything else |
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Comfort and intimacy go hand in hand.
If its a quick get your rocks off, that isn't what I'd call particularly intimate. After all a quick search on the hub, and a couple of minutes later sorted
For TRUE intimacy there has to be levels of trust, vulnerability, confidence, lust.
I like to know who I'm with. What makes them think the way they do. What makes them warm and fuzzy, how to tease, how to please.
I like to know exactly how to push them to the point of no return and bring them back again.
So intimacy for me. Looks like, a long built up friendship (with benefits) where there is mutual respect and understanding.
I don't believe a single act makes or breaks intimacy but I do believe to be able to truly intimate you have to have a deeper connection than skin on skin.
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
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"I get intimate when it becomes intimate. You don’t plan it, you don’t go looking for it in Fab, or anywhere for that matter people just are when they feel the same way. The last person to reach for my hand to hold it shown me how they felt around me. That was an intimate moment.
Stroking her hair as she falls asleep in your arm. That’s intimate. A little whisper when nobody else can hear what you say to each other. That’s intimate.
Then there’s the sharing of private feelings and stories nobody else will get to know. That’s intimate.
And you don’t have those search criteria when I look witching 20 miles of Manchester.
I’m sensual and passionate when I like someone, but mostly people on fab want you to slap their ass. "
Aww Woody you softie! No, it's not something you can seek out, it's either there and beautifully reciprocated because both are open to it or it's not. It's the same with the dreaded "feelings" on here - it happens best organically.
I'm glad there's not a search function for it on Fab - I like how it unexpectedly stumbles in to life. I think most people on Fab are looking for a more casual sex thing but... there are people out there who do want different. Rather than more. |
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"How comfortable are you with intimacy when you meet someone from Fab?
What does intimacy look like to you? Are there any particular intimate moments/actions with another that you really enjoy? Bonus points if it's one that's not commonly mentioned.
(It's too early for a sex thread so this is a happy medium)"
Its hard really, i dont believe you could truly be intimate with someone from here, lets be honest most are looking for sex, yes thats intimate in its own right but sex without feelings isnt intimate at all i dont think |
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I think it all depends on what we mean by intimacy - if you mean whispering sweet nothings, looking doe eyed and holding hands whilst on a moon lit walk then that’s not why I am here.
If you mean recovering in each others arms after enjoying a fab time then |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I get intimate when it becomes intimate. …..
Aww Woody you softie! No, it's not something you can seek out, it's either there and beautifully reciprocated because both are open to it or it's not. It's the same with the dreaded "feelings" on here - it happens best organically.
I'm glad there's not a search function for it on Fab - I like how it unexpectedly stumbles in to life. I think most people on Fab are looking for a more casual sex thing but... there are people out there who do want different. Rather than more."
Different rather than more!! That’s it!!
I click with people on my wave length, I know and recognise those with a kind heart and less selfish than some others can be. (Disclaimer/we are all allowed to be a little selfish, but some are just out for themselves)
Like attracts like doesn’t it? |
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By *igjonny090Man 25 weeks ago
blackpool and Manchester |
I believe that intimacy is a part of fab, for either party to have any fun there needs to be a connection and to do that you have to be intimate in ways. Obviously one night fancy a meet messages don’t haha
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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To many variables. Depends on mood, the people/ person, setting etc. Sometimes it can be just a beer. It’s intimate in as much as we know why we are there, even though that might not be the ending that particular time. Other times it can be wrapped up in the buzz of the night and it’s nothing more than a fumble or a kiss. That’s enough. Then obviously there’s letting go fully. Not a one size fits all description I feel. K |
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"How comfortable are you with intimacy when you meet someone from Fab?
What does intimacy look like to you? Are there any particular intimate moments/actions with another that you really enjoy? Bonus points if it's one that's not commonly mentioned.
(It's too early for a sex thread so this is a happy medium)"
Not comfortable at all.
I’d rather have a NSA meet, even if anonymous. Intimacy is not something I expect from these meets and I’m perfectly happy with that |
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When I can curl up with someone and could stay there all day.
Talk or not talk. Sex or no sex.
It's a kind of tranquility. Like when I want to be alone, but sharing that space with this person feels just as right.
Touch feels affectionate, soothing and arousing all rolled into one. There's no agenda it just happens. It feels like our bubble.
I don't expect such depth with every person, but I am very much in my element with intimacy and I thrive on it. |
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"High above the waters
on the mountain peak,
Soaking in the grandeur
more of His beauty seek.
Nature’s tune is singing
a melody of grace,
Rugged landscape beckons
God’s majesty, embrace.
Autumn colours fading
another season ends,
My Lord brings refreshment
connecting with true friends.
Blessing showers falling
renewing more than dirt,
Intimacy and love
addressing all my hurt."
Bloody hell, that's deep for you |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I guess after 5 years on the site this is why I’ve never met anyone and been verified. I’m not really a swinger. I’m polyamorous and seeking ENM relationships. I don’t know if it’s part of being neurodivergent but I’ve never been able to just fuck someone without there being some emotional connection. Honestly, first meets even with someone I’ve developed a connection with rarely result in penetrative sex, even if we have developed a romantic connection and I’m super turned on because I need to feel entirely comfortable that it’s not just a fuck and go situation. Now I have a long distance relationship it’s even more important that if I’m meeting another person that I’m doing so to further pursue the values I’ve set for my open relationship to explore a connection with someone and not just to have meaningless sex. |
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By *ony MannMan 25 weeks ago
New York City New York USA |
I have come across couples that reserve something for themselves the usual reservation is kissing.
Instructions to me are normally 'She does not kiss, but you can do anything else."
I do love to kiss, but the others in bed must be respected.
Tony |
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I don't want intimacy with our casual partners. Intimacy to me is holding hands, cuddling in bed talking, sitting in silence with a cup of coffee, sharing a glance of support in a tough situation...that sort of thing.
Intimacy comes with time and familiarity in my opinion |
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I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
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"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
"
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest  |
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Aside from doughnut, I don't think I've ever met anyone while swinging where we've had a build up, dinner, touching (not naughty bits) etc, I've always gone straight in, to me doing all that stuff is for someone you are dating or in a relationship with, to hold someone's hand from fab (unless in a playful mood on a social skipping, for example) seems really alien to me x |
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There’s all sorts of intimacy; building trust through relating to each other, showing a genuine interest etc.
TBH sometimes it’s actually really nice just to cuddle someone and talk about stuff. That often leads to the other intimacy of course but regardless, it’s nice. |
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"I don't want intimacy with our casual partners. Intimacy to me is holding hands, cuddling in bed talking, sitting in silence with a cup of coffee, sharing a glance of support in a tough situation...that sort of thing.
Intimacy comes with time and familiarity in my opinion "
.. This 100 percent. Maybe it would be different if we were single people but it would be extremely strange for our dynamic.. |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
I love intimacy, sorry if you have a connection you have a connection you can't seperate it, you are intimate when you have sex end of, so married couples who love each other take a chance because their is always that one moment when you connect. A kiss is all it takes the look in the eye the cheeky grin |
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"I love intimacy, sorry if you have a connection you have a connection you can't seperate it, you are intimate when you have sex end of, so married couples who love each other take a chance because their is always that one moment when you connect. A kiss is all it takes the look in the eye the cheeky grin "
Agreed in principle, definitely.
Could just be semantics but intimacy is a spectrum like many other social dynamics, even something as simple as a sincere handshake or even just being vulnerable is a form of intimacy.
I know there’s folks out there that are turned on by being treated as a hole to be used and things like that, that’s their kink and it’s valid.
It would be a shame if intimacy alone became the boundary that makes people step back though, it isn’t the same as commitment after all. |
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
. |
"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
"
I think this site caters to many things, many different types of people, dynamics and there's no one thing it's "for".
Attempts at gatekeeping are... well. Intimacy and your views on it and Fab are a great way of assessing compatibility, seeing how things align.
Intimacy doesn't mean one particular thing, there are a myriad of ways people enjoy and experience it. It's great that people can find what works for the. Intimacy doesn't mean running off in to the sunset with another. It also doesn't mean you have to partake in it - the great thing about Fab is there's no one set thing it's for. |
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"I love intimacy, sorry if you have a connection you have a connection you can't seperate it, you are intimate when you have sex end of, so married couples who love each other take a chance because their is always that one moment when you connect. A kiss is all it takes the look in the eye the cheeky grin "
There's an inherent truth to that, for me anyway and my experience.
I've seen more people get bent out of shape over an intimate kiss than sex. |
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Sex used to be possiblly one of the most intimate acts. I think it's become like sliced bread and has had to be replaced with other things because deep down we all crave intimacy.
I found it very strange when someone said they didn't kiss because that's just between them and yet I was allowed to intimately explore her mouth and vagina with cock.
I just decided, no kissing, no playing as for me kissing is very much part of foreplay and and, no foreplay no sex.
Everyone is different and there's plenty out there with similar tastes and thinking to go around.
|
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I love intimacy, sorry if you have a connection you have a connection you can't seperate it, you are intimate when you have sex end of, so married couples who love each other take a chance because their is always that one moment when you connect. A kiss is all it takes the look in the eye the cheeky grin
There's an inherent truth to that, for me anyway and my experience.
I've seen more people get bent out of shape over an intimate kiss than sex."
exactly its a moment  |
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"Sex used to be possiblly one of the most intimate acts. I think it's become like sliced bread and has had to be replaced with other things because deep down we all crave intimacy.
I found it very strange when someone said they didn't kiss because that's just between them and yet I was allowed to intimately explore her mouth and vagina with cock.
I just decided, no kissing, no playing as for me kissing is very much part of foreplay and and, no foreplay no sex.
Everyone is different and there's plenty out there with similar tastes and thinking to go around.
"
I suppose it’s also up to the individual what intimacy means to them. It’s obviously not as clear cut as this but when you share meaningful and intimate emotions with multiple partners you’re entering more into ENM and polyamory over swinging.
If I was the third in a couple, I wouldn’t question what their boundaries were concerning intimacy at all. That’ll always be their decision. |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sex used to be possiblly one of the most intimate acts. I think it's become like sliced bread and has had to be replaced with other things because deep down we all crave intimacy.
I found it very strange when someone said they didn't kiss because that's just between them and yet I was allowed to intimately explore her mouth and vagina with cock.
I just decided, no kissing, no playing as for me kissing is very much part of foreplay and and, no foreplay no sex.
Everyone is different and there's plenty out there with similar tastes and thinking to go around.
"
How can you compare a kiss to a blow job though its like saying you know its a woman that's sucking you in a gloryhole |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I love intimacy, sorry if you have a connection you have a connection you can't seperate it, you are intimate when you have sex end of, so married couples who love each other take a chance because their is always that one moment when you connect. A kiss is all it takes the look in the eye the cheeky grin
Agreed in principle, definitely.
Could just be semantics but intimacy is a spectrum like many other social dynamics, even something as simple as a sincere handshake or even just being vulnerable is a form of intimacy.
I know there’s folks out there that are turned on by being treated as a hole to be used and things like that, that’s their kink and it’s valid.
It would be a shame if intimacy alone became the boundary that makes people step back though, it isn’t the same as commitment after all. "
Yes the folks that would argue against it being a possibility are the ones it could possibly affect |
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By *og-ManMan 25 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Sex used to be possiblly one of the most intimate acts. I think it's become like sliced bread and has had to be replaced with other things because deep down we all crave intimacy.
I found it very strange when someone said they didn't kiss because that's just between them and yet I was allowed to intimately explore her mouth and vagina with cock.
I just decided, no kissing, no playing as for me kissing is very much part of foreplay and and, no foreplay no sex.
Everyone is different and there's plenty out there with similar tastes and thinking to go around.
How can you compare a kiss to a blow job though its like saying you know its a woman that's sucking you in a gloryhole "
I think a kiss is more intimate that a blow job personally |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sex used to be possiblly one of the most intimate acts. I think it's become like sliced bread and has had to be replaced with other things because deep down we all crave intimacy.
I found it very strange when someone said they didn't kiss because that's just between them and yet I was allowed to intimately explore her mouth and vagina with cock.
I just decided, no kissing, no playing as for me kissing is very much part of foreplay and and, no foreplay no sex.
Everyone is different and there's plenty out there with similar tastes and thinking to go around.
How can you compare a kiss to a blow job though its like saying you know its a woman that's sucking you in a gloryhole
I think a kiss is more intimate that a blow job personally "
exactly my point |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"
How can you compare a kiss to a blow job though its like saying you know its a woman that's sucking you in a gloryhole
Not sure I follow the analogy there, what do you mean?"
The guy above compared the intimacy of a blow job to a kiss i was demonstrating the difference |
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By *bi HaiveMan 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"When I can curl up with someone and could stay there all day.
Talk or not talk. Sex or no sex.
It's a kind of tranquility. Like when I want to be alone, but sharing that space with this person feels just as right.
Touch feels affectionate, soothing and arousing all rolled into one. There's no agenda it just happens. It feels like our bubble.
I don't expect such depth with every person, but I am very much in my element with intimacy and I thrive on it."
I like this. Well put.  |
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"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest "
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for. |
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"
I think this site caters to many things, many different types of people, dynamics and there's no one thing it's "for".
Attempts at gatekeeping are... well. Intimacy and your views on it and Fab are a great way of assessing compatibility, seeing how things align.
Intimacy doesn't mean one particular thing, there are a myriad of ways people enjoy and experience it. It's great that people can find what works for the. Intimacy doesn't mean running off in to the sunset with another. It also doesn't mean you have to partake in it - the great thing about Fab is there's no one set thing it's for."
^^ This. 100%
One persons ick is another one’s hell yeah!
Not everyone is here for the same thing and isn’t that great because it would be fucking boring if they were |
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By *4bimMan 25 weeks ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"
I think this site caters to many things, many different types of people, dynamics and there's no one thing it's "for".
Attempts at gatekeeping are... well. Intimacy and your views on it and Fab are a great way of assessing compatibility, seeing how things align.
Intimacy doesn't mean one particular thing, there are a myriad of ways people enjoy and experience it. It's great that people can find what works for the. Intimacy doesn't mean running off in to the sunset with another. It also doesn't mean you have to partake in it - the great thing about Fab is there's no one set thing it's for.
^^ This. 100%
One persons ick is another one’s hell yeah!
Not everyone is here for the same thing and isn’t that great because it would be fucking boring if they were "
true.
you see on some profiles that you must be a good kisser so you have an idea from the get go |
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"Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for. "
Do you mean feelings as in romantic feelings with a view to a more tradtional relationship?
Intimacy has two meanings I guess, a doctor checking my prostate is “intimate” but I can assure I do not have feelings for him. I’ve been hurt before.
Emotional intimacy can come from anything I guess, but if you’re looking to detach the intimacy from sex entirely and just rub meat together because it feels good then yeh, why not? It’s harmless and everyone’s happy. |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
Do you mean feelings as in romantic feelings with a view to a more tradtional relationship?
Intimacy has two meanings I guess, a doctor checking my prostate is “intimate” but I can assure I do not have feelings for him. I’ve been hurt before.
Emotional intimacy can come from anything I guess, but if you’re looking to detach the intimacy from sex entirely and just rub meat together because it feels good then yeh, why not? It’s harmless and everyone’s happy. "
True hence the saying any holes a goal |
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"Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
Do you mean feelings as in romantic feelings with a view to a more tradtional relationship?
Intimacy has two meanings I guess, a doctor checking my prostate is “intimate” but I can assure I do not have feelings for him. I’ve been hurt before.
Emotional intimacy can come from anything I guess, but if you’re looking to detach the intimacy from sex entirely and just rub meat together because it feels good then yeh, why not? It’s harmless and everyone’s happy. "
It’s all intimate to me, physical and non physical - there’s always a connection and feelings on some level for them as a person or I wouldn’t do it. A wank would be simpler , easier, cheaper.
But things that really stand out are sharing true stories, experiences like trips, adventures, little gifts, cards and things we learn or pickup from each other , music, art, authors , recipes , cooking, skills, traditions. Many of the exact same things you would get from regular relationships apply |
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By *bi HaiveMan 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for. "
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great. |
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"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great. "
It’s great but for me that’s a different experience than hooks up or swinging.
Your on to something tho maybe a fab dating site is needed or is that just link tinder? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great.
It’s great but for me that’s a different experience than hooks up or swinging.
Your on to something tho maybe a fab dating site is needed or is that just link tinder?"
I don't think another site is needed.
People who want to date can easily find others seeking the same on here. The subject crops up enough in forum threads and on profiles.
People just need to look. It's really no different to any normal dating app/site. |
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"Sex used to be possiblly one of the most intimate acts. I think it's become like sliced bread and has had to be replaced with other things because deep down we all crave intimacy.
I found it very strange when someone said they didn't kiss because that's just between them and yet I was allowed to intimately explore her mouth and vagina with cock.
I just decided, no kissing, no playing as for me kissing is very much part of foreplay and and, no foreplay no sex.
Everyone is different and there's plenty out there with similar tastes and thinking to go around.
How can you compare a kiss to a blow job though its like saying you know its a woman that's sucking you in a gloryhole
I think a kiss is more intimate that a blow job personally "
Yes it has become that, kinda the point I was making that things have changed over the years. I did also say people I different, intimacy is different for different people. |
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"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great. "
If it helps that you develop into dating then a relationship then fine that happens, but not to be looking for it from the start.
You can enjoying having a amazing sex life, with out dating or intimate feelings.
Personally I have to avoid feels as not everyone is looking for love as it would have dire consequences for me.
|
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By *eli OP Woman 25 weeks ago
. |
"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great.
It’s great but for me that’s a different experience than hooks up or swinging.
Your on to something tho maybe a fab dating site is needed or is that just link tinder?
I don't think another site is needed.
People who want to date can easily find others seeking the same on here. The subject crops up enough in forum threads and on profiles.
People just need to look. It's really no different to any normal dating app/site. "
Exactly this. Or... not look. Be open to it.
And then someone comes (back) in to your life and you realise at some point you'd quite like to date them. And they would rather like to date you.
I think that whatever you're looking for on here, there's space for you. Without poo-poohing on others, it's not affecting you. |
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By *ony MannMan 25 weeks ago
New York City New York USA |
There is a big spectrum from ice cold blue sex to fluorescent red love. Personally I have never got to bright fluorescent red.
I have reached red a few times from fab, I never know when it will happen. |
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"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great.
It’s great but for me that’s a different experience than hooks up or swinging.
Your on to something tho maybe a fab dating site is needed or is that just link tinder?
I don't think another site is needed.
People who want to date can easily find others seeking the same on here. The subject crops up enough in forum threads and on profiles.
People just need to look. It's really no different to any normal dating app/site. "
I don't think it is easy for many. I'd love to find someone to date but even finding someone for sex is hard work. For some of us it really isn't easy. |
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By *ularliWoman 25 weeks ago
Worcester |
I find intimacy quite hard.
I love sex, connecting with someone and love kissing, gentle touching etc but that’s a far as it goes.
I don’t spend whole nights with anyone.
I like my own space so more than happy to be left alone after having some fun |
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"I find intimacy quite hard.
I love sex, connecting with someone and love kissing, gentle touching etc but that’s a far as it goes.
I don’t spend whole nights with anyone.
I like my own space so more than happy to be left alone after having some fun "
At least they don't wake you up with their snoring. |
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I wonder sometimes about intimacy and at times crave some of the stuff that goes with a full relationship, then at times I realise that it’s way too complex a situation that I have for that sort of thing.
I guess be grateful for what I’ve been doing and appreciate what comes along |
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I really enjoy sex which is why I am on Fab, as the one thing I can NOT have is intimacy in my life.
I can not risk anyone get to close to me even being friends is not an option.
I do sometimes envy those that can have a partner, and hope that people do find who they are looking for. |
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By *ony MannMan 24 weeks ago
New York City New York USA |
"I am not looking for intimacy if I was I would have a partner, and it would have to develop over time.
Fab is for casual sex without the need for intimacy which is after all what this site is meant to be.
Well said. Personally I enjoy kissing and some spooning on a meet up.
As I’m also in a relationship it’s more about having some good casual fun with fabbers rather than having a dating experience as like you say can be found on other sites away from fab.
I do see more and more women wanting a date style meet up in their bio, which I do find a little confusing to be honest
I agree with you I find it confusing why people are looking to date on a swinging site.
I enjoy kissing and cuddling but that to me is not intimacy. Intimacy it something you would have with a person you have feelings for.
But why shouldn't people date on Fab?
It's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to someone on a vanilla dating app or in a bar, that you enjoy sex with multiple people, swingers clubs, kink and all manner of debauchery.
People tend to be more open minded on here than in the real world.
Fab dating is great.
It’s great but for me that’s a different experience than hooks up or swinging.
Your on to something tho maybe a fab dating site is needed or is that just link tinder?
I don't think another site is needed.
People who want to date can easily find others seeking the same on here. The subject crops up enough in forum threads and on profiles.
People just need to look. It's really no different to any normal dating app/site.
I don't think it is easy for many. I'd love to find someone to date but even finding someone for sex is hard work. For some of us it really isn't easy. "
Scarlet, it would be easier for you if you moved to the Wiltshire Hampshire boarder |
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