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Literal humour

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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago

My sense of humour is this

Eg. I see a sticker on a van “How am I driving?”

My brain says”start your car,select a gear and off you go”

Any other examples?

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By *ildmanYorksMan 25 weeks ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

At work a few years ago the gents toilet was out of action on our floor. Admin put a notice on the door...

"These facilities are currently out of order. Please use another floor"

I thought "They could've left a mop!"

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By *lynJMan 25 weeks ago

Morden

Seen on a toilet wall, "please leave these facilities as you would wish to find them"

I'm not sure I could afford the plumbers/decorators to fix all the faults.

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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago

Someone once threatened me

“woody! I’ll wipe the fucking floor with you!’

I thought, - no you won’t, you’d never get into the corners properly!

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By *onny090Man 25 weeks ago

blackpool and Manchester

My dad always made me laugh when he would point out the “slow children playing” and said that it’s cruel to put sign posts up about them

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By *aomilatteCouple 25 weeks ago

Visiting Blackpool

When you see the pub menu has Pork in Cider....

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By *onameyet2Man 25 weeks ago

chorley

When I see “heavy plant crossing “ I always visualise a large shrub moving slowly across the road

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By *ris GrayMan 25 weeks ago

Dorchester

"When you see the pub menu has Pork in Cider....

"
that your nickname for naomi?

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 25 weeks ago

Southampton

"Someone once threatened me

“woody! I’ll wipe the fucking floor with you!’

I thought, - no you won’t, you’d never get into the corners properly! "

Lol

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 25 weeks ago

Southampton

"When I see “heavy plant crossing “ I always visualise a large shrub moving slowly across the road

Me too! Or when the sat nav says bear left .. I think I can't see one !

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 25 weeks ago

St Leonards

"When I see “heavy plant crossing “ I always visualise a large shrub moving slowly across the road

I was really struggling to think of one - but this brought it all flooding back

Not once have I ever seen this and not visualised that very same shrub.

Thank you!

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By *r John WickMan 25 weeks ago

The Continental

Those social media statuses you see…….

“Cant believe my child is 4 today! How did that happen”

Well, that’s easy. You did some sex 4 years and 9 months ago. Hey presto, a child you made is now 4

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By *icecouple561Couple 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

The washing pod adverts that tell you at the end

'keep away from children '.

Is it a dire warning?

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By *ris GrayMan 25 weeks ago

Dorchester

"The washing pod adverts that tell you at the end

'keep away from children '.

Is it a dire warning?"
i avoid children these days little brats

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