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come to conclusion
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
Maybe it's because you're playing characters you think will get you laid rather than just being yourself?
Evie |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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A.Have you tried being yourself?
B.Its not ghosting, just because you get into a conversation doesn't mean it's gonna lead anywhere.
C. See above, action doesn't have to follow the talking
D. Have you considered penis? Guaranteed action. |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
maybe just be yourself and plod along with it i find .. fab is a game of sorts, numbers, people get bored, people get better offers etc its not a one size fits all, its not a guranteed meet up site ..
personally if i was a single male i would just be getting stuck into social meet events to intergrate into groups/people/get friends then look at clubs as well to mingle and meet / greet |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
Have you tried not "playing" anything, and just being yourself? I've always found that "I am enough".
Cal |
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"A.Have you tried being yourself?
B.Its not ghosting, just because you get into a conversation doesn't mean it's gonna lead anywhere.
C. See above, action doesn't have to follow the talking
D. Have you considered penis? Guaranteed action."
Penis is not my thing.
As I said Im always my self, I do take note what is said on there profiles and have that as a starting point. Im not into " hello hows things" I like conversations not chit chit.
Someone saying if English is my second language nope im 100% English.
I don't send dick picks, yes I have them on my profile but more of face n bodie photos.
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
….
"
…All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts |
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"
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
"
Why are you playing different parts? Be you.
Women aren't one homogeneous group, we all have our own individual characters and want different things.
However, we do see through play acting pretty quickly in most cases.
Don't just rely on Fab, get out to clubs and socials. |
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There is always plenty advice on these sites and some might work and some don't and some are just outright hurtful lol. But I think, as you have said, just be yourself and be up front, again like you have, in your profile. We all have our own likes and dislikes and most have more dislikes than likes. Some say it's not a numbers game which is correct if you thinking of sending many messages to individuals and thinking along the lives of 1 in 100 will be interested. For me I'm not in a position to travel to meets and clubs so come on here more for the social forums lol. But even in those I get very little interests but sadly lol many getting insulted lol.
If I was to give any advice it would be just to continue being yourself and don't expect to find anything. If you do find someone then its great. |
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By *oxy jWoman 25 weeks ago
somerset |
nobody owes you anything op and i do mean anything ...its a select or reject scene its that simple they clearly dont want to meet otherwise they would continue and even if you get to the oh they fancy you stage most will fuck it up during swapping messages ...
clearly you have to wait until or if someone will like you and want to meet but also bare in mind just how few women and coupler there are that really meet and play then you'll realize it could be a very long wait indeed ...
theres no entitlement or sex on a plate aka free sex thats not how swinging works |
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Mate fab isn't a easy shag! It's a nightmare sometimes I get it, but you don't want anyone trust me!
Be yourself be authentic send some messages out and if you find someone you like and get on with see if you can make a connection? Otherwise it'll be a rough time! |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen."
·
OP, my dear esteemed chappie, you are wasting your time and eroding the very fabric of your life trying to make sense of women. As Øscar W¹lde once said - "Women are meant to be loved, not understood".
These arcane creatures that we give so much to and receive very little in return will be the death of us. Just find a few and bonk them without affection or feelings. |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
Stopping talking to you isn’t ghosting. At that point you’re just chatting. People change their minds. That’s why chatting for longer helps you get to know people a bit better to see if you do actually click so that hopefully any socials or meets go well. When someone stops chatting it’s because they don’t want to take the comms any further.
|
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls. "
Come on Barbie, let's go party  |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
·
OP, my dear esteemed chappie, you are wasting your time and eroding the very fabric of your life trying to make sense of women. As Øscar W¹lde once said - "Women are meant to be loved, not understood".
These arcane creatures that we give so much to and receive very little in return will be the death of us. Just find a few and bonk them without affection or feelings."
I've long since stopped quoting Wilde in favour of Nero of Fab. He knows what he's talking about. |
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls.
Maybe OP is Action Man?"
He'd have more luck if he were Ken... |
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls. "
So to clear this up. When said conversation is going on they are the ones that talk about meeting up. We set a date to meet for a drink in public. Comes to the day ghost.
I'm not a pushy kind of guy I let things flow naturally. As for the play rolls part im still myself just change up the style in messages alittle according to the context.
I dont expect or think Im entitled to a meet. However just finding it odd the switch last minute. |
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls.
Maybe OP is Action Man?"
Im very Action man you won't find anything plastic on me..... well thats a lie my car keys have plastic on them. |
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls.
Maybe OP is Action Man?
He'd have more luck if he were Ken..."
Neither have a Willy  |
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By *nnCeeWoman 25 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls.
Maybe OP is Action Man?
He'd have more luck if he were Ken..."
That must mean he is Kenough? |
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls.
Maybe OP is Action Man?
He'd have more luck if he were Ken...
Neither have a Willy "
Who's going to tell Barbie?? |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you. "
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie. |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie."
Perhaps if you can't lie, then that's why you struggle in "playing" the part of good bad or gentlemen? Just be yourself. Action Man or Ken (both are plastic. With no gentleman's sausage). |
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I recognise your frustration and that you say you aren't playing a role. Or perhaps you are just trying different things?
Apart from the obvious answer of 'supply and command' sorry I can't resist a Rickyism. I can only give my own experience.
I believe (and I have been told so) that women appreciate talking to me as I don't have the misconception that many men have that because it's a swinging site women are just looking for a fuck.
The issue I have is that it's rare I find someone I feel a significant attraction to and it can take time. What I can say is most women take this well, or even find it amusing. But in the end they weigh up if it's worth investing their time into something that may never occur. It's almost as if they are here for sex, but not just a dial a fuck.
I'm 'boyfriend' material as I've been told numerous times throughout my life. And so I've accepted that's just who I am. I'm not going to seek something that doesn't work for me, just to get results. I'm not going to take it personally if I'm not what someone else wants. The more I stick to those principles the more I get success (if you want to look at it in those terms). Don't ask me why, maybe some women respond well to authenticity?
I am surprised sometimes by the women that express interest in me. Moreso that that they are interested in me as a person. There's no trick to it really I just talk to women I find interesting and do so without thinking about how I can get in their knickers. If attraction is there and mutual it will happen.
Getting frustrated is fine, but taking it out on fab or the people you are hoping to ya know have sex with, won't change shit. I've never known someone to change their mind because of that. If you can't change the world, you have to adjust your expectations of it.
You say you don't understand women, maybe that's where you should start, by listening to them? |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie."
So how do you play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen? |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie.
So how do you play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen?"
That’s what I thought when I read first post. |
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Because most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, most investigatory chats will lead to dead ends, even when each side is finding out about the other in good faith. This must be expected, if you want to have realistic expectations.
It's not just about matching personality, it's also about tastes, preferences and availability.
Start with yourself and get your attitude and expectations in order |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie.
Perhaps if you can't lie, then that's why you struggle in "playing" the part of good bad or gentlemen? Just be yourself. Action Man or Ken (both are plastic. With no gentleman's sausage). "
Playing the part dont mean you are lieing.
Ok this was the last one that ghost or got cold feet.
We was talking about hobbies what we enjoy etc.
She said she loved baking making cakes to which I said i can never say no to cake.
So i called her bluff and I was like ok if we meet you have to bring a cake. She was like ok what would you like.
I like all cakes so make me your favourite. Classic triple chocolate cake.
She said a date and time and location I was yep sounds good to me.
Talked 6 days in total give her my number etc.
On the day not one reply to the two messages I sent.
|
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"“Play” & “action”
2 words that stood out.
If I feel I’m being played to get some action - I’ll absolutely “ghost” (aka - delete and move on).
We are not Barbie dolls.
So to clear this up. When said conversation is going on they are the ones that talk about meeting up. We set a date to meet for a drink in public. Comes to the day ghost.
I'm not a pushy kind of guy I let things flow naturally. As for the play rolls part im still myself just change up the style in messages alittle according to the context.
I dont expect or think Im entitled to a meet. However just finding it odd the switch last minute."
Is it possible that the women you are speaking to are not really women, hence the 'ghosting'? How thorough is your vetting process? |
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I was on here for a long time before leaving and now joining back again, I'm a sucker for punishment!!
I've tried to be myself but that's not worked very well, I only had a handful of meets on my previous profile, I found clubs were better for making friends. maybe I'm just not that appealing to most outside of clubs, and that's just the way it is.
you can't change who you are or how others see you, and as others have said, you won't be everyone's taste. plus as single guys, you are 1 in God knows how many so you need to be different from the rest.. which I am obviously not very good at myself |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
·
OP, my dear esteemed chappie, you are wasting your time and eroding the very fabric of your life trying to make sense of women. As Øscar W¹lde once said - "Women are meant to be loved, not understood".
These arcane creatures that we give so much to and receive very little in return will be the death of us. Just find a few and bonk them without affection or feelings.
·
I've long since stopped quoting Wilde in favour of Nero of Fab. He knows what he's talking about."
•
Always so kind, YOLO, so kind.  |
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"I recognise your frustration and that you say you aren't playing a role. Or perhaps you are just trying different things?
Apart from the obvious answer of 'supply and command' sorry I can't resist a Rickyism. I can only give my own experience.
I believe (and I have been told so) that women appreciate talking to me as I don't have the misconception that many men have that because it's a swinging site women are just looking for a fuck.
The issue I have is that it's rare I find someone I feel a significant attraction to and it can take time. What I can say is most women take this well, or even find it amusing. But in the end they weigh up if it's worth investing their time into something that may never occur. It's almost as if they are here for sex, but not just a dial a fuck.
I'm 'boyfriend' material as I've been told numerous times throughout my life. And so I've accepted that's just who I am. I'm not going to seek something that doesn't work for me, just to get results. I'm not going to take it personally if I'm not what someone else wants. The more I stick to those principles the more I get success (if you want to look at it in those terms). Don't ask me why, maybe some women respond well to authenticity?
I am surprised sometimes by the women that express interest in me. Moreso that that they are interested in me as a person. There's no trick to it really I just talk to women I find interesting and do so without thinking about how I can get in their knickers. If attraction is there and mutual it will happen.
Getting frustrated is fine, but taking it out on fab or the people you are hoping to ya know have sex with, won't change shit. I've never known someone to change their mind because of that. If you can't change the world, you have to adjust your expectations of it.
You say you don't understand women, maybe that's where you should start, by listening to them? "
The only review I have you will see i listen to women.
Maybe my typing/texting is my floor.
Maybe im better off just doing face to face or video calls.
|
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"I was on here for a long time before leaving and now joining back again, I'm a sucker for punishment!!
I've tried to be myself but that's not worked very well, I only had a handful of meets on my previous profile, I found clubs were better for making friends. maybe I'm just not that appealing to most outside of clubs, and that's just the way it is.
you can't change who you are or how others see you, and as others have said, you won't be everyone's taste. plus as single guys, you are 1 in God knows how many so you need to be different from the rest.. which I am obviously not very good at myself "
Maybe thats the way forward going to the clubs. |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie.
So how do you play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen?"
Is it like Rock, Paper, Scissors? |
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"OP, my dear esteemed chappie, you are wasting your time and eroding the very fabric of your life trying to make sense of women. As Øscar W¹lde once said - "Women are meant to be loved, not understood".
These arcane creatures that we give so much to and receive very little in return will be the death of us. Just find a few and bonk them without affection or feelings."
LOL
Best known but not admitted LOL |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
·
OP, my dear esteemed chappie, you are wasting your time and eroding the very fabric of your life trying to make sense of women. As Øscar W¹lde once said - "Women are meant to be loved, not understood".
These arcane creatures that we give so much to and receive very little in return will be the death of us. Just find a few and bonk them without affection or feelings."
Amen |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
|
"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie.
So how do you play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen?"
It’s easy.
I have a woolly jumper, a leather jacket, and a blazer.  |
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By *AYENCouple 25 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
Your words point to the problem in my opinion.
First off, women aren't a homogeonised mass to be understood, they are individuals that differ.
'Most people on fab' are just people, they're no different to any other people, so don't treat them differently from those in normal life.
To us, dick pics on a public profile demonstrates a disregard for basic consent, perhaps those women that have 'ghosted' you came to the conclusion they couldn't trust you.
As others have said, don't 'play' anything, just be yourself. K.
|
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"I recognise your frustration and that you say you aren't playing a role. Or perhaps you are just trying different things?
Apart from the obvious answer of 'supply and command' sorry I can't resist a Rickyism. I can only give my own experience.
I believe (and I have been told so) that women appreciate talking to me as I don't have the misconception that many men have that because it's a swinging site women are just looking for a fuck.
The issue I have is that it's rare I find someone I feel a significant attraction to and it can take time. What I can say is most women take this well, or even find it amusing. But in the end they weigh up if it's worth investing their time into something that may never occur. It's almost as if they are here for sex, but not just a dial a fuck.
I'm 'boyfriend' material as I've been told numerous times throughout my life. And so I've accepted that's just who I am. I'm not going to seek something that doesn't work for me, just to get results. I'm not going to take it personally if I'm not what someone else wants. The more I stick to those principles the more I get success (if you want to look at it in those terms). Don't ask me why, maybe some women respond well to authenticity?
I am surprised sometimes by the women that express interest in me. Moreso that that they are interested in me as a person. There's no trick to it really I just talk to women I find interesting and do so without thinking about how I can get in their knickers. If attraction is there and mutual it will happen.
Getting frustrated is fine, but taking it out on fab or the people you are hoping to ya know have sex with, won't change shit. I've never known someone to change their mind because of that. If you can't change the world, you have to adjust your expectations of it.
You say you don't understand women, maybe that's where you should start, by listening to them?
The only review I have you will see i listen to women.
Maybe my typing/texting is my floor.
Maybe im better off just doing face to face or video calls.
"
You know you. Maybe? I don't like too much texting a lot can get lost in it.
It's good to call early I think.
If that's the solution for you then really that's the advice many have given? Be yourself, don't rely on texting and ask to call? |
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"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
It probably isn’t working because you’re “playing” characters instead of being yourself |
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"Definitely be yourself op, nobody can keep up a pretence for too long, the mask slips and people will see through you.
Be true to yourself and the right people will be into you.
I definitely don't put a mask on. I have a shit memory so I definitely can't lie.
Perhaps if you can't lie, then that's why you struggle in "playing" the part of good bad or gentlemen? Just be yourself. Action Man or Ken (both are plastic. With no gentleman's sausage).
Playing the part dont mean you are lieing.
Ok this was the last one that ghost or got cold feet.
We was talking about hobbies what we enjoy etc.
She said she loved baking making cakes to which I said i can never say no to cake.
So i called her bluff and I was like ok if we meet you have to bring a cake. She was like ok what would you like.
I like all cakes so make me your favourite. Classic triple chocolate cake.
She said a date and time and location I was yep sounds good to me.
Talked 6 days in total give her my number etc.
On the day not one reply to the two messages I sent.
"
My waters tell me you were not chatting with women. |
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By *hoirCouple 25 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
That is your issue. You merely play them. Try being actually genuine. Whether you turn out as an asshole or not, you will attract people purely for being genuine.
C |
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Why does it matter? Yeh, it’s shitty when you’ve made plans and the other person just vanishes without a trace; sadly though, it’s easier to say nothing and walk away than it is to reject someone.
Sure, they “shouldn’t” do it but that’s out of your hands and it won’t change. Your approach, your response and how you emotionally invest is *entirely* in your hands and you *can* change that.
It’s just a date, with someone you barely know. No more, no less. |
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Oh and making generalisations about women helps nobody, everyone is unique. I’ve been ghosted rather savagely on the Friday and with a slight turn of fate was on a date with someone else the day after.
I’d have never met them if I hadn’t been ghosted. |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I've come to the conclusion I don't understand woman.
I play nice guy, bad boy and gentlemen.
Conversations start well.
Then ghost.
Or is this what most people on fab do.
All talk no action.
"
Just one woman? |
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By *equila89Man 25 weeks ago
Tortured Poets Department |
I’m pretty guarded and thick skinned. I wasn’t blessed with good looks and doors flying open to me, so I’ve learned to take everything with a pinch of salt until I know it’s real lol. I’ve only been ghosted once, as in stood up, I took away from that I won’t meet anyone without some kind of substantial conversation in the future. So I’m kinda glad it happened just for the lesson.
I’m what you see is what you get, anything else seems like it would be tiring to me, and every now and then when someone does think I’m alright I know it’s genuine.
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