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It's a Fab World (if you're a single fem)
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I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know  |
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "
I do actually agree with you xx
I’m not really sure why males take this position tbh x
What’s your view?? |
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know
I do actually agree with you xx
I’m not really sure why males take this position tbh x
What’s your view??"
I have my own opinion, but as I'm not male... What's your thoughts? |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 25 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time.
As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time.
As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell
"
Very well said |
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I think it’s probably a security/confidence issue.
Personally it never bothers me if I get a polite no or no response to a message x
I think it’s an ego thing. Rejection is hard for some to take. Hence the reaction of negativity x
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By *aeBabeWoman 25 weeks ago
London |
"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "
All very valid questions and certainly something I'd like to know, however feel like I already know the answer. |
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By *m272Woman 25 weeks ago
London |
"I think it’s probably a security/confidence issue.
Personally it never bothers me if I get a polite no or no response to a message x
I think it’s an ego thing. Rejection is hard for some to take. Hence the reaction of negativity x
"
Ratio plays a part too. Women are bombarded on here and regardless of what their profile outlines or how clear their intentions,wants or seeks are our females profiles are still continously contacted unwelcomed. I am definitely not alone when i say responding to every message received would be a full time task, fabs only allows a certain amount of messages daily so those that are communicating seriously wouldn't want to use them replying to politely decline. And too often a polite no thanks often results in abusive insulting messages from those that have been politely rebuffed.
No response is a response in my eyes |
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"I think it’s probably a security/confidence issue.
Personally it never bothers me if I get a polite no or no response to a message x
I think it’s an ego thing. Rejection is hard for some to take. Hence the reaction of negativity x
Ratio plays a part too. Women are bombarded on here and regardless of what their profile outlines or how clear their intentions,wants or seeks are our females profiles are still continously contacted unwelcomed. I am definitely not alone when i say responding to every message received would be a full time task, fabs only allows a certain amount of messages daily so those that are communicating seriously wouldn't want to use them replying to politely decline. And too often a polite no thanks often results in abusive insulting messages from those that have been politely rebuffed.
No response is a response in my eyes "
A very valid point x
It all comes down to the individual x some people just don’t observe boundaries and arnt as respectful as they should be x |
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time.
As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell
"
This exactly xx |
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I do read the profiles very carefully, I like women, and they have a choice if they reply to you or not. I also read men's profiles, I'm not surprised most don't have a high success rate you can of course introduce the numbers' disparity, but it's more than that, I definitely get a sense of entitlement from some and then to become abusive to somebody that hasn't messaged you back says everything you need to about them and probably why they didn't get a response in the first place (It's a subconscious decision not to reply, so profiles do matter and first messages DO MATTER |
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A good question, obviously this doesn’t apply to every bloke but the answer doesn’t show us in the best light.
Entitlement is hard wired into a lot of men, and why wouldn’t it be? Society has shown for years, and especially when growing up, that women don’t earn as much, have the top jobs, or get treated equally. A woman’s place is to accept they’re put where a man wants.
From that position, equality then looks like discrimination and oppression, and you see the behaviour of some messages.
Thankfully it’s not from everyone, but with the thousands of men on here even if it’s 10% (I suspect I’m being very charitable) then you get to witness a lot of it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Women do have it easier on here, and I can guarantee if the numbers were reversed some would be making the bitchy "what the fuck is wrong with men" threads.
Saying that I don't think it's hard for a guy to do well on here. The desperation in some men just oozes out, not a good look. And men get over excited with their downstairs brains with all the boob pictures and act like horny teenagers. Also not a good look.
And the ones that don't know how to talk to women/write a bio, honestly mate, just give up now.
I've probably missed an important point in the op as I skimmed.
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"Women do have it easier on here…"
I think it depends what you mean by easier. If it’s number of replies to messages, I absolutely agree.
However if you ask a load of men about their worst date, you’ll get answers like she wasn’t like her pictures, she had a weird laugh, she was a crap shag…
Ask a group of women about their worst date and you’ll hear about being followed home, stalked for weeks, sexual assault and so on.
I don’t think that’s what they signed up for, so saying women have it easier isn’t the whole story. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Women do have it easier on here…
I think it depends what you mean by easier. If it’s number of replies to messages, I absolutely agree.
However if you ask a load of men about their worst date, you’ll get answers like she wasn’t like her pictures, she had a weird laugh, she was a crap shag…
Ask a group of women about their worst date and you’ll hear about being followed home, stalked for weeks, sexual assault and so on.
I don’t think that’s what they signed up for, so saying women have it easier isn’t the whole story."
If I experienced that shit on here I wouldn't be here.
You can't deny women have the upper hand on fab.
A.woman whacks a picture up and they'll be inundated with messages. I'd hazard a guess that most have never had to message a guy first, I'm not.saying some don't, but they don't have to. We can pick and choose, obviously.
Yeah you get rubbish from guys time to time but I've said it before it's easy enough for a woman to control her filters and influence what she gets by what she puts out on her profile.
On fab, in terms of messages, and being able to choose who we want to meet. Women have it easier. |
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Coyote is right - the average woman certainly has it easier on here than the average man. That said it is possible to do well on here as a guy - as far as I can tell the secret is…….. just be normal. |
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I think as females, it's hard on fab too but for different reasons. Yes, I get a lot of messages but I don't read most of them before deleting them because they're either one lines or from people without a single picture or it's clear they haven't read my profile. Another problem I find is the lack of honesty. Most men think they have to go over the top with compliments, so much that it becomes off-putting. |
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By *ood-guyMan 25 weeks ago
wild, wild west |
"Coyote is right - the average woman certainly has it easier on here than the average man. That said it is possible to do well on here as a guy - as far as I can tell the secret is…….. just be normal."
I think that this is very well said, and accurate IMHO. I think what I struggle with is that there are a lot of women and couples on here who act and communicate in such a way as to indicate that they’re better, über desirable, when in the real world you wouldn’t give them a second glance. You know the profiles I’m talking about, don’t respond if this or that, anyone doing this or that will be instantly blocked, don’t contact us, we’ll contact you. It’s all just so rude and unnecessary. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "
Self entitlement springs to mind,there's a lot who think they have the right to treat women how they seem fit without thinking about their feelings...We're all on here for the same kinda things but no right to act in the way some do.
I liken it to a kid in a candy store,they think they can grab all they want but when mommy starts dragging them out they kick and scream and roll around having a tantrum.....Just for the record I grew up a long time ago,well I think I did  |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "
I never get upset and women do rule here exactly for the reasons you said, you can pick and choose who you interact with, the rules favour you to, so no answer for whatever reason means not interested, so even if you've got too many messages to answer and their are some decent guys messaging you but you couldn't read or reply, you simply block delete all messages and start again. You can even pull well above your normal choice all because of the numbers. If you say jump we jump especially if you're sexy as hell. That said as long as us guys know that fab is fine, never ask for advice, never say is this big enough and never post asking for a meet and you'll be fine if you're patient. |
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Power is a dynamic that is only really in the minds of men
Men ultimately want to ejaculate
Thats why they think women hold the power because they want to do it with a woman and she will only let them if there is something in it for her
This why so many are happy to talk about and fantasise about in half of the threads here |
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By *ood-guyMan 25 weeks ago
wild, wild west |
"Power is a dynamic that is only really in the minds of men
Men ultimately want to ejaculate
Thats why they think women hold the power because they want to do it with a woman and she will only let them if there is something in it for her
This why so many are happy to talk about and fantasise about in half of the threads here"
This is a very simplistic view and rather plays into the whole culture regarding men not being able to control themselves, which we all know is false. As for women holding power, until very recently they didn’t, they either obeyed or were forced. One could argue that this continues to this day and it’s only our civility that prevents men from abusing women. Again there’s definitely a correlation between wealth, civility and how women are seen and then there’s culture. |
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I think a lot of men join thinking easy shag, some unfortunately think I have a penis I'll take several pics of that and some women will want to sit on it.
Most women want to be treated as more than a vagina and some blokes can't understand why their penis alone isn't enough so they'll moan and whine.
Women have it easier in terms of quantities of messages however those messages maybe in large quantities but aren't of quality leaving some women to be more demanding about who messages etc and mass delete again leaving those men who messaged feeling rejected.
The men that state they do better on dating sites but stay here for the rejection and moan about it I assume probably had a date or two.
"Some" men are just so desperate it gets off-putting real quick - fab put me off men for life. |
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"I think as females, it's hard on fab too but for different reasons. Yes, I get a lot of messages but I don't read most of them before deleting them because they're either one lines or from people without a single picture or it's clear they haven't read my profile. Another problem I find is the lack of honesty. Most men think they have to go over the top with compliments, so much that it becomes off-putting. "
Great post, I think there’s only so much chat you can do about 69 and 3sum etc before it becomes almost a routine conversation and all a little bid tedious.
Sometimes just some back-and-forth messaging about the humdrum of life can be quite refreshing and different and engaging.
I’ve had a couple of conversations going on lately like this and I’ve been very interesting and we have good understandings between us.
It’s different than if we were just focusing on horny banter.
I encourage other guys to try this approach and see what happens.
I think the new inbox does help to find old conversations and get them going again sometimes when they have Fizzled out.
Why not Take a look in your inbox and try to restart an old conversation without the horny Barnter?
However, this may only work for the guys rather than the girls? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Speaking as an entitled alpha male, I can tell you all that I post and share about the rejections I get, in order to educate women how wrong they are in overlooking my perfect penis.
I'm a social justice warrior, just because there are fewer of you doesn't entitle you to overlook the awesome one-liner I'll send to you. ESPECIALLY when I've been so generous and kind as to ask you all "How are you today?". If you're super sexy I might even share that your pics made me cum, thereby complimenting you. And in the despicable event that you haven't shared pics, it may just be that you've overlooked adding me as a friend. |
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "
Great post OP.
For me it’s all about the ego.
If you have an ego on a site like this, you’re probably gonna end up getting hurt and hurting other people.
If a guy can suppress his ego except pay for the way they are, it’s a better attitude to have in the swinging community Make it more enjoyable for everyone.
It’s hard to do, but not impossible |
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?!"
You do, by default, because men who lament about their lack of success aren't helping their cause.
"...it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?"
It's called "sour grapes". They simply cannot comprehend that ladies have a choice from the biggest menu known to man. It's a smörgåsbord.
"Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?"
The verification is indeed important to a man, which gives him credence and earnestness. It's not a conduit to obtain unbridled sex.
"Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?"
It's because they're not getting much success on here.
"Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?"
Because men live on eternal hope and the spectre of futility.
"And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?..."
This is news to me. xx |
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I don’t quite understand how a lot of men stay, especially if they have nothing on their profile which is going to attract people.
We have had plenty of guys message who have just joined and sent dick pics to us and I’ve tried to say it’s not how to do things on here.
Then a year down the line, the same profile pops up, no changes, no veris and moaning about how the site is useless.
I don’t get why people come on here to literally waste their time - fine if you’re just on the forums to chat shit but if you’re actively seeking to meet and you’ve got a basic profile, you might as well just get out in the real world and spend your time more wisely.
K |
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time. "
·
I agree. Unfortunately it still makes no difference. It's a numbers game. Bob's message to Sue will still be message no. 145 in her inbox of 500+ messages. Messages are thrown around here like yesterday's confetti. |
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?
Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops?
Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?
Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?
Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites?
Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?
And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "
I don't I'm an adult stuff happens or Doesn't and that's it change my approach have fun and chill |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Great thread and thoughts here! - I don’t think the guys who need to read this to benefit most have made it down this far though……. which I guess kind of says it all!
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I guess I'm semi retired on here these days.
I have incredibly low expectations (over 50, not slender etc. I'm a realist), so I'm mainly here for the forums, club news, and checking in on the gorgeous ladies who bare all.
I don't get arsey, feel entitled or, generally, send messages as such, and have no reason to be nasty to anyone.
If, however, you're having a hot tub party, I wouldn't mind an invite |
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Its probably a pain in the arse being a woman on here.
Having an inbox full of unwanted or requested pictures and messages must be a headache. then getting questioned and abused as to why why they didnt reply etc.
If men just let the ladies message who they wanted too, it would work better i think. |
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Most of the messages I receive are junk. When you say no thank you you get an onslaught of messages as to why you are wrong.
There is the odd one who filters through and can make this fab world seem not so bad
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It's just such a shame that there aren't more women on here so that the ratio of men to women would be better
If I'd have known about swinging and this site when I was younger I would have been well into it |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Its probably a pain in the arse being a woman on here.
Having an inbox full of unwanted or requested pictures and messages must be a headache. then getting questioned and abused as to why why they didnt reply etc.
If men just let the ladies message who they wanted too, it would work better i think."
This'll definitely get you laid |
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The problem as I see it is a certain type of old fashioned alpha male who doesn't think women are entitled to reject them. Toxic men are not the majority imo, but they are there and very visible.
These are the guys who when rejected start to abuse the same woman and tell her that she's not attractive etc. ironically confirming the woman's suspicions. Men like this need to grow up and learn to improve themselves. |
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"It's just such a shame that there aren't more women on here so that the ratio of men to women would be better
If I'd have known about swinging and this site when I was younger I would have been well into it"
Me too
It's obviously a big secret |
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I think it’s because people are inherently lazy and it ‘appears’ that due to sheer numbers men /women on here that the ladies can indeed have the cake and eat it any day of the week and over the years on here there has been a few females doing exactly that and parading that fact on their profile, so in mans clunk mind he thinks oh that’s not fair when in reality if they read the profiles and forums he would realise it is definitely a more level playing field and while the ‘bag of dicks’ is enormous (see what I did) the lady now has a bigger problem of sifting through the mess, also lady comes online to find she has a thousand messages and then whilst online that increases exponentially because she is seen online, I don’t know what the fixation is with getting verified as I am not and have no problem striking up a conversation, if the lady chooses not to continue further because I’m not verified or maybe it’s my face, who knows but it’s got to start with a conversation and that is where fellas let the side down, the ego will think ‘I will just show my trained body, that will enough, the guys in the videos I watch that’s all they do and it works for them’ …. Only to find out that as before the internet was a thing a man has to work and learn and there a skills to be gained, my final take on this is if I can’t have a decent conversation with a lady where she reciprocates and is engaging then my minds going to switch off too so the lady will put the effort in if the man does |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I don’t get much success on here. I’m too young for everyone. And too other things too. But I’m here for socials and the forums. So I stay. Idk though. Maybe that’s not keeping me here anymore.
Without leaning into all my current demons, fab is actually pretty depressing. You ask important questions. Like, why am I actually here?  |
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I think yes women get more lots more messages, if they don't use their filters well, I do so mine is much more manageable.
There are lots of men here who do well and put effort into both their profiles and messages, they also go to socials and get known that way.
What I can't get, is why some men (not all) join with one line of text and either no pics or just cock pics and then expect to have a queue of women wanting to meet them.
It's surely common sense to put a bit of effort into your profile, so people can see if you'd be what they're looking for.Its much more likely to get results too, so in that respect many men could do much better here.
I get it can be totally frustrating not getting replies etc, but come on, give us something to want to reply to.Also people who say things like I wouldn't look twice at her, but she didn't respond. So why are you choosing to message her, only pick those who you're genuinely interested or attracted to then.
Same with sending dick pics in a first message, that's never gonna make me want to meet someone unless it meets by itself.
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I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others |
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This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis |
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"I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others"
Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true. |
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"I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others
Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true."
I’m neither, I don’t want it on a plate, I also dislike the chase. I just want to meet people where the attraction and interest is mutual |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others"
Get your running shoes on willy! |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis "
They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult |
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"I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others
Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true.
·
I’m neither, I don’t want it on a plate, I also dislike the chase. I just want to meet people where the attraction and interest is mutual"
•
I agree with Tea. The women that I've met on here were the fruition of mutual attraction, interests and reciprocal effort.
I refuse to chase. |
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By *rispyDuckMan 25 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
This question reminds me of the time I went to visit my grandmother in our small village, she dropped some serious wisdom on me. She said “Grandson, one day some people will waste their time reading your comment.” Today is that day |
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult "
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging. |
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult "
Not really, no. It’s like being presented with 49 bowls of flavourless porridge and one delicious bowl but you have to try all of the other bowls to find the one that you want. It’s exhausting and frustrating in different ways.
The guys that think that’s a positive are generally the ones that will fuck anyone and don’t understand the want to find people that you actually want, not just a body to wank with |
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
Not really, no. It’s like being presented with 49 bowls of flavourless porridge and one delicious bowl but you have to try all of the other bowls to find the one that you want. It’s exhausting and frustrating in different ways.
The guys that think that’s a positive are generally the ones that will fuck anyone and don’t understand the want to find people that you actually want, not just a body to wank with"
Flavourless porridge, nice description |
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Perhaps guys are being naive… but most if not all apps/sites always have more guys than ladies…. So perhaps guys need to be less expectant and just go with the flow and maybe spend time thinking about what to write to a lady to make himself stand out more…… |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging. "
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
|
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging.
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
"
That solves that issue but doesn’t make it easier. I’m sure that you understand that |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging.
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
That solves that issue but doesn’t make it easier. I’m sure that you understand that"
I'd say it's still easy for me as a female than it is a guy on here. |
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging.
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
That solves that issue but doesn’t make it easier. I’m sure that you understand that
I'd say it's still easy for me as a female than it is a guy on here. "
It's a buyers market. It is what it is. Don't sweat it fellas |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time.
As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell
"
Well said, agreed xx |
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By *rispyDuckMan 25 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
You hold the power when the odds are in your favour 
If this was a sugar daddy website with 100 girls to every 1 rich sugar daddy who do you think would have the pick of the litter? Supply & demand |
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I don’t think women have it easier on fab. It’s just different. Messages don’t equate to meets. And most messages are a not even worth reading never mind replying to. Like trying to find rocking horse shite at times too.
I don’t use fab for meeting though, I’d rather go to club. X |
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I think men and women face different challenges on fab. I’ve got to know a few women pretty well and I genuinely would not want the same level of being bombarded with messages, (a significant number of which are from people who have not read the profile) , unsolicited dick pics and abuse for sending a no thanks or not responding that they receive almost continuously. There seems to be a view amongst a proportion men that if you’re a woman on a swinging site you should be up for shagging every man who asks. Not a view I align with btw.
But there are a few challenges I encountered when I was actively looking for fun. Like, what does “ exceptional” mean, what does a good male profile look like, what’s the right blend of pics? All I think essentially linked to the fact that women will have a desired sort of guy that they are looking for whereas a lot of men are less discerning.
I think everyone’s lived experience and expectations of fab are different and I therefore take a simple approach, treat people as I would want them to treat me. Some folk will respond positively to me, others won’t, it’s their choice and I’m good with that.
This is just my view based on my time here. I’m defo not saying it’s right or any more valid than anyone else’s. Have a great Sunday fabbers |
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"I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others
Get your running shoes on willy!"
I'm catching you up! |
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"This question reminds me of the time I went to visit my grandmother in our small village, she dropped some serious wisdom on me. She said “Grandson, one day some people will waste their time reading your comment.” Today is that day "
Those days are becoming quite frequent |
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"I can't answer most of your questions.
I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others
Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true.
·
I’m neither, I don’t want it on a plate, I also dislike the chase. I just want to meet people where the attraction and interest is mutual
•
I agree with Tea. The women that I've met on here were the fruition of mutual attraction, interests and reciprocal effort.
I refuse to chase."
This is what the best chasers would say. Well played gents  |
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I think when you send a message on Fab it should give you a ticket number and show that you are message 145 today. That'll show just how many messages some people get. It really is a numbers game. Take the women in my area within a 10 mile radius. 50% want something specific such as Younger, 8"+ , Black men or such like. They go straight to the blocked section as there's no point in getting in touch when they are not looking for me. Then there's the women that want to meet couples only. They get blocked. That leaves the ones that are looking for single males but specifiy that they will be in touch if they need you. The ones with a FWB who only meet at clubs. When you have filtered out all of the women in your age range that would meet you and you are what they are looking for you are just one of many that message each day. When finally you do get a reply which is positive then you need to get the timing right where you are both available at the same time. I don't think many men have the patience for it. Go to a club, mingle with people, get to know a group of people you are comfortable around and then maybe you'd be invited to play. This site is a good place to keep in touch with people you do know and have met already. Men who complain need a reality check. |
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By *TG3Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it.
I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though.
For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection.
It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
Not really, no. It’s like being presented with 49 bowls of flavourless porridge and one delicious bowl but you have to try all of the other bowls to find the one that you want. It’s exhausting and frustrating in different ways.
The guys that think that’s a positive are generally the ones that will fuck anyone and don’t understand the want to find people that you actually want, not just a body to wank with"
Flavourless porridge surely its all flavourless, I'm not a lover of cereals or milk and i get the point about setting filters age limits, areas etc my point was more to do with the power of choice, women have choice men not so much. I however have choice the majority don't and in their frustration with it all are willing to make sacrifices. Always always be polite though guys and don't hit women with sexual messages they are strangers to you until you meet and even then they may not find you attractive |
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I think anyone who had spent time on Fab knows the answer to all the OP,s questions and there’s not much more i could add that hasn’t already been said.
As someone once said, “There’s the way it ought be and there is the way it is”
And another advertising quote which applies to Fab is “when the fun stops…stop”
Have a great day forumites |
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If I just want my vag filled with a dick, then sure, I could have one anytime. When I want to find someone I actually find attractive and spend quality time with, it's bloody hard on here. Sifting through the men who just want to cum on/in me and leave is tiresome.
It's easier to have a couple of regular partners, take myself off the market and meet people at socials, than sift through fab for potential new gems |
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"If I just want my vag filled with a dick, then sure, I could have one anytime. When I want to find someone I actually find attractive and spend quality time with, it's bloody hard on here. Sifting through the men who just want to cum on/in me and leave is tiresome.
It's easier to have a couple of regular partners, take myself off the market and meet people at socials, than sift through fab for potential new gems"
This is what surprised me about fab, I kinda got that most men on here aren't successful in finding someone, but was surprised that the same is true for women |
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As mentioned the odds are heavily in favour of the women. I have zero success here, but then I'm not a swinger. On another site I successfully use the numbers are more even and the women there almost always msg me first. Different dynamic.
|
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"As mentioned the odds are heavily in favour of the women. I have zero success here, but then I'm not a swinger. On another site I successfully use the numbers are more even and the women there almost always msg me first. Different dynamic.
"
Which site is that then? |
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"I think a large percentage of men on fab would shag a haystack while a larger percentage of women are looking for the needle in it. "
Big generalisation, most blokes want to stick it into a hole with an attractive face/body. There is a caveat involved tbf |
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