FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What makes you feel it
What makes you feel it
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"It's all in the mind, Pickle. My emotional state dictates how I feel about my physical appearance and attractiveness." But is there something you like about yourself when you’re in a good place? Don’t like when you’re in a bad place? I love my lips and my smile when I feel good about my looks. Hate them when I don’t. | |||
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I am usually happy with my eyes.
Coming on here sometimes seeing beautiful people can also make you feel unattractive but again its how you feel in that moment i suppose | |||
"It's all in the mind, Pickle. My emotional state dictates how I feel about my physical appearance and attractiveness. But is there something you like about yourself when you’re in a good place? Don’t like when you’re in a bad place? I love my lips and my smile when I feel good about my looks. Hate them when I don’t. " I don't like and dislike the same things IYSWIM. The focus shifts. If I'm feeling content in myself, which is most of the time fortunately, I like my eyes, boobs, cheekbones, neck. Even the grey hair and the bum chin. If I'm not doing so great and indulging in a bit of self-criticism, I zone in on my flat bum, the ever increasing wrinkles, and my uneven complexion. | |||
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What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy? | |||
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 .
Cheap way to get into space though - I just look up  .
So - I fit classical modes apart from fat, nose, and perhaps "classically fantasized" cock size.
In terms of real attraction rather than models of attraction, it's mostly been my smile, bouffant hair, humour, weirdness, and intelligence that others have found attractive.
Unattractive to others has mostly also been my humour, intelligence, and weirdness.
I like them lots, so I'd rather be unattractive than lose those parts of me.
And for those they attract, they're the people I would want anyway.
Final part of this overly long one - as a teen I definitely wanted to look skinny and femme/alien like Michael Jackson (Thriller to Bad period). I didn't like my "classical masculinity" at all. I was probably late 20s/early 30s when I accepted I'm mostly "classically male" for looks and felt comfortable with it. | |||
"Likes: The front line from shoulder, across neck/chest, to other shoulder. Classically "masculine", strong and dynamic - so it plays into received notions, and I benefit. Jawline/chin/cheekbones - when slimmer, again classical notions. Hands and fingers - quite small for a fairly tall man, but they have an interesting definition to them, and they don't look 57, more 42-45. Plus, I bite my nails like fuck, but the nails somehow seem to be clear, clean, and "unchewed the fuck out of". Got away with that so far. Nice enough thighs and lower legs. Straight teeth. Yellowing, and a fair few back ones whipped out coz chocolate, but only noticeable if someone's climbing into my gob, which doesn't happen that often. Dislikes: Still a fat cunt. A lot less of a fat cunt than a year ago. But a lot more of a fat cunt than my best. Good progress ongoing. Huge nose. Feet used to be nice (for feet). But they're definitely odd and gnarly now. In the space of 3 years I've gone from a slimmer foot to a wide/extra wide. Arches are strong. Average sized willy. Not sure how much that bothers me. I'd love to be Big Harold, but I'd hate to be Big Harold (not him - he's lovely. I mean just his cock). So I don't think cock really bothers me, it's more a "wouldn't it be nice sometimes" thing. I think my only real physical hang ups, present from around 6 to today, are my nose and my fat. I lost the fat in 2008, and my then wife couldn't cope with it (paranoid I would start shagging everyone - not my style), but I've seen enough of my "non-fat" body to know it also fits into classical "rugby athletic" tropes. So I'd be pretty good for 57, except that my nose is in Jamaica when the rest of me is in Sussex .
Cheap way to get into space though - I just look up .
So - I fit classical modes apart from fat, nose, and perhaps "classically fantasized" cock size.
In terms of real attraction rather than models of attraction, it's mostly been my smile, bouffant hair, humour, weirdness, and intelligence that others have found attractive.
Unattractive to others has mostly also been my humour, intelligence, and weirdness.
I like them lots, so I'd rather be unattractive than lose those parts of me.
And for those they attract, they're the people I would want anyway.
Final part of this overly long one - as a teen I definitely wanted to look skinny and femme/alien like Michael Jackson (Thriller to Bad period). I didn't like my "classical masculinity" at all. I was probably late 20s/early 30s when I accepted I'm mostly "classically male" for looks and felt comfortable with it."I think I'm in love
(Can I ride your nose?) | |||
"Likes: The front line from shoulder, across neck/chest, to other shoulder. Classically "masculine", strong and dynamic - so it plays into received notions, and I benefit. Jawline/chin/cheekbones - when slimmer, again classical notions. Hands and fingers - quite small for a fairly tall man, but they have an interesting definition to them, and they don't look 57, more 42-45. Plus, I bite my nails like fuck, but the nails somehow seem to be clear, clean, and "unchewed the fuck out of". Got away with that so far. Nice enough thighs and lower legs. Straight teeth. Yellowing, and a fair few back ones whipped out coz chocolate, but only noticeable if someone's climbing into my gob, which doesn't happen that often. Dislikes: Still a fat cunt. A lot less of a fat cunt than a year ago. But a lot more of a fat cunt than my best. Good progress ongoing. Huge nose. Feet used to be nice (for feet). But they're definitely odd and gnarly now. In the space of 3 years I've gone from a slimmer foot to a wide/extra wide. Arches are strong. Average sized willy. Not sure how much that bothers me. I'd love to be Big Harold, but I'd hate to be Big Harold (not him - he's lovely. I mean just his cock). So I don't think cock really bothers me, it's more a "wouldn't it be nice sometimes" thing. I think my only real physical hang ups, present from around 6 to today, are my nose and my fat. I lost the fat in 2008, and my then wife couldn't cope with it (paranoid I would start shagging everyone - not my style), but I've seen enough of my "non-fat" body to know it also fits into classical "rugby athletic" tropes. So I'd be pretty good for 57, except that my nose is in Jamaica when the rest of me is in Sussex .
Cheap way to get into space though - I just look up .
So - I fit classical modes apart from fat, nose, and perhaps "classically fantasized" cock size.
In terms of real attraction rather than models of attraction, it's mostly been my smile, bouffant hair, humour, weirdness, and intelligence that others have found attractive.
Unattractive to others has mostly also been my humour, intelligence, and weirdness.
I like them lots, so I'd rather be unattractive than lose those parts of me.
And for those they attract, they're the people I would want anyway.
Final part of this overly long one - as a teen I definitely wanted to look skinny and femme/alien like Michael Jackson (Thriller to Bad period). I didn't like my "classical masculinity" at all. I was probably late 20s/early 30s when I accepted I'm mostly "classically male" for looks and felt comfortable with it.
I think I'm in love
(Can I ride your nose?) "
For sure, as long as your spacesuit is otherwise airtight?
I'd feel awful if you were enjoying the "proboscogasm" whilst suffocating in space xxxx | |||
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"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?"I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though  . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive. | |||
"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?
I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive. "These come from a mixture of what is stereotypically seen as attractive in men I feel. But also from negative comments you internalise about yourself over time. It’s a journey. | |||
"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?
I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive.
These come from a mixture of what is stereotypically seen as attractive in men I feel. But also from negative comments you internalise about yourself over time. It’s a journey. "I think it goes deeper still. Objectively, I can see now that I was always "attractive enough". Reconnecting on Facebook with old schoolfriends also made me realise how many of the "in-crowd, clique" wanted me to be part of them, and the pretty girls were a bit pissed off at me for not chasing them at school. My own internal monologue was convinced, from 5/6 upwards, that I was hideous, ugly, unlikeable on every level. Objectively - people wanted me, kiss-kiss or friend. I stopped me seeing that, not them. So when our own internal monologue is that powerful, we cannot and do not have any external sense of the real. I was in my 30s, arguably 40s for some bits of it, when I realised it was my own monologue that "put me down". So I'm not going to say you're handsome and desirable Pickle - because it won't make any difference until you feel it yourself. | |||
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"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?
I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive.
These come from a mixture of what is stereotypically seen as attractive in men I feel. But also from negative comments you internalise about yourself over time. It’s a journey.
I think it goes deeper still. Objectively, I can see now that I was always "attractive enough". Reconnecting on Facebook with old schoolfriends also made me realise how many of the "in-crowd, clique" wanted me to be part of them, and the pretty girls were a bit pissed off at me for not chasing them at school.
My own internal monologue was convinced, from 5/6 upwards, that I was hideous, ugly, unlikeable on every level.
Objectively - people wanted me, kiss-kiss or friend. I stopped me seeing that, not them.
So when our own internal monologue is that powerful, we cannot and do not have any external sense of the real.
I was in my 30s, arguably 40s for some bits of it, when I realised it was my own monologue that "put me down".
So I'm not going to say you're handsome and desirable Pickle - because it won't make any difference until you feel it yourself."I feel this. I’m sorry that this was your reality, bro. Really. I think I hold on to external things. But negative ones. So that’s why I’ve internalised the negative comments and see them as true. Also RSD. I hold onto rejection. Especially when it feels so common. | |||
"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?
I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive.
These come from a mixture of what is stereotypically seen as attractive in men I feel. But also from negative comments you internalise about yourself over time. It’s a journey.
I think it goes deeper still. Objectively, I can see now that I was always "attractive enough". Reconnecting on Facebook with old schoolfriends also made me realise how many of the "in-crowd, clique" wanted me to be part of them, and the pretty girls were a bit pissed off at me for not chasing them at school.
My own internal monologue was convinced, from 5/6 upwards, that I was hideous, ugly, unlikeable on every level.
Objectively - people wanted me, kiss-kiss or friend. I stopped me seeing that, not them.
So when our own internal monologue is that powerful, we cannot and do not have any external sense of the real.
I was in my 30s, arguably 40s for some bits of it, when I realised it was my own monologue that "put me down".
So I'm not going to say you're handsome and desirable Pickle - because it won't make any difference until you feel it yourself.
I feel this. I’m sorry that this was your reality, bro. Really.
I think I hold on to external things. But negative ones. So that’s why I’ve internalised the negative comments and see them as true.
Also RSD. I hold onto rejection. Especially when it feels so common. "Yes - if the mind has experienced an early trauma, we will magnify that which supports negative self-talk and forget that which is positive - we create the script and bloody well make sure everything fits that script. So it's not really about attractive or unattractive - it's locating and managing the earlier trauma as we age and have "adult" possibilities. It's that earlier trauma or traumas that "grab" attractive/unattractive tropes, to satisfy the script. And it gets harder still when race is overlaid, because the whole "hauntology, double-consciousness, masks" historical traumas are a powerful, insistent drum. | |||
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"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?
I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive.
These come from a mixture of what is stereotypically seen as attractive in men I feel. But also from negative comments you internalise about yourself over time. It’s a journey.
I think it goes deeper still. Objectively, I can see now that I was always "attractive enough". Reconnecting on Facebook with old schoolfriends also made me realise how many of the "in-crowd, clique" wanted me to be part of them, and the pretty girls were a bit pissed off at me for not chasing them at school.
My own internal monologue was convinced, from 5/6 upwards, that I was hideous, ugly, unlikeable on every level.
Objectively - people wanted me, kiss-kiss or friend. I stopped me seeing that, not them.
So when our own internal monologue is that powerful, we cannot and do not have any external sense of the real.
I was in my 30s, arguably 40s for some bits of it, when I realised it was my own monologue that "put me down".
So I'm not going to say you're handsome and desirable Pickle - because it won't make any difference until you feel it yourself.
I feel this. I’m sorry that this was your reality, bro. Really.
I think I hold on to external things. But negative ones. So that’s why I’ve internalised the negative comments and see them as true.
Also RSD. I hold onto rejection. Especially when it feels so common.
Yes - if the mind has experienced an early trauma, we will magnify that which supports negative self-talk and forget that which is positive - we create the script and bloody well make sure everything fits that script.
So it's not really about attractive or unattractive - it's locating and managing the earlier trauma as we age and have "adult" possibilities. It's that earlier trauma or traumas that "grab" attractive/unattractive tropes, to satisfy the script.
And it gets harder still when race is overlaid, because the whole "hauntology, double-consciousness, masks" historical traumas are a powerful, insistent drum.
"Where have you been all my life. Honestly where have you been all my fab life | |||
"When my skin is clear I feel such a difference in my confidence. I would say clear skin and a good hair day make the world of a difference in regards to how attractive I feel. Unfortunately these things don't go my way most of the time.
What makes you feel good Pickles? Being young and sexy?
I don’t feel sexy
Being young helps mostly though . I like my face. My mouth and my eyes. These things make me feel attractive although my brain makes me feel like these things aren’t even doing it for me.
I hate my body, my weight, my height, my cheeks, my headshape and my hands. These things make me feel less attractive or unattractive.
These come from a mixture of what is stereotypically seen as attractive in men I feel. But also from negative comments you internalise about yourself over time. It’s a journey.
I think it goes deeper still. Objectively, I can see now that I was always "attractive enough". Reconnecting on Facebook with old schoolfriends also made me realise how many of the "in-crowd, clique" wanted me to be part of them, and the pretty girls were a bit pissed off at me for not chasing them at school.
My own internal monologue was convinced, from 5/6 upwards, that I was hideous, ugly, unlikeable on every level.
Objectively - people wanted me, kiss-kiss or friend. I stopped me seeing that, not them.
So when our own internal monologue is that powerful, we cannot and do not have any external sense of the real.
I was in my 30s, arguably 40s for some bits of it, when I realised it was my own monologue that "put me down".
So I'm not going to say you're handsome and desirable Pickle - because it won't make any difference until you feel it yourself.
I feel this. I’m sorry that this was your reality, bro. Really.
I think I hold on to external things. But negative ones. So that’s why I’ve internalised the negative comments and see them as true.
Also RSD. I hold onto rejection. Especially when it feels so common.
Yes - if the mind has experienced an early trauma, we will magnify that which supports negative self-talk and forget that which is positive - we create the script and bloody well make sure everything fits that script.
So it's not really about attractive or unattractive - it's locating and managing the earlier trauma as we age and have "adult" possibilities. It's that earlier trauma or traumas that "grab" attractive/unattractive tropes, to satisfy the script.
And it gets harder still when race is overlaid, because the whole "hauntology, double-consciousness, masks" historical traumas are a powerful, insistent drum.
Where have you been all my life. Honestly where have you been all my fab life "I'm deeply sorry mate. I do spend a lot of time with the aliens and the dead people on the whole psychic communism revolution thing. That means I'm not always here. Sorry. Plus, that Mobile Bottom is an attention seeking whore and I get sidetracked keeping him buoyant too xxxx | |||
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