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By (user no longer on site) OP 31 weeks ago
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I feel so bad sometimes because I'm wasting precious time on here or dating apps looking for girls to have fun with and many times I end up going out to hook...
I'm married happy with what I have home just sometimes isn't enough.
We have spoken about this many times and things changes for a little while then back to normal where fun dissappears.
Most of the time she's sleeping early probably due to kids, when she's awake 9:30/10pm most of the time she's not in the mood and says I'm sleepy.
The problem is that I'm not concentrating properly on my business and I'm loosing out.
I gave up smoking no problem, I gave up drinking no problem,
I give up from dating apps or fab and I'm back within a few months, how do I stop this? what's best to do?
Please no stupid comments!
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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You have choices. As you even said you’ve given up things that didn’t suit you before. You can make that same choice if this isn’t something you want to continue doing. Ask yourself why you’re not.
Additionally, consider why your partner isn’t feeling up to it. She’s tired from parenting. Are you leaving all the child-related duties for her to sort every day? Do you contribute to things that just magically happen within your household or is she left to sort it all on her own? Anyone would feel exhausted and not keen to engage intimately if they feel a heavy burden or unsupported. But even so, if she is unaware of your wandering ways are you morally okay with what you’re doing? If not, maybe reflecting on that will help you make choices that are suited to what you’re trying to do — quit extramarital escapades.
What can you do? Discipline and not motivation will help you. Delete the apps. Use discipline to stop yourself from downloading them again. Find ways to occupy your time. Perhaps that’s being a better partner to your wife? Spend the time you’d invest in others on her and your marriage.
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Kids or not, I am pretty sure she'd like to know you are (having) looking for fucks behind her back.
It sounds like you're making a lot of effort in being the perfect husband and she isn't.
If that is the case let her know how much you are doing and see where it lands, as by the sounds of it you can do no wrong and it's all on her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 31 weeks ago
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I'm helping with the house hold,I'm picking up the kids from school, I take the kids out regularly to give her some rest, I'm cleaning the house as many times I can and I'm running a business on my own that's quite stressful, doing work on site during the day and evenings answering emails, working out quotes... It's exhausting but probably you are right I just need to delete this profile and work another way out. |
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"I'm helping with the house hold,I'm picking up the kids from school, I take the kids out regularly to give her some rest, I'm cleaning the house as many times I can and I'm running a business on my own that's quite stressful, doing work on site during the day and evenings answering emails, working out quotes... It's exhausting but probably you are right I just need to delete this profile and work another way out. "
I think it's called adulting.. ups, downs, goods, bads, patches, quiets, lov-ins and the whatnot. If you are questioning sites, you have an answer already. |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 31 weeks ago
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Delete your dating apps.
They're clearly causing you to get distracted.
When you get the urge, just get your laptop out, throw on some porn, have a quick Tommy Tank, then make yourself a warm drink & go to bed  |
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Are you happy to loose your wife? If the answer is yes carry on but at least have a backbone and be honest with her.
If the answer is no - sort your shit out and get off the apps.
One thing I will say is whether you think we know or not, we know when you are distracted by something else, we know when you lie and you know what, it doesn't make us want to please too sexually or drop out knickers for you.
Don't fuck things up if you want to keep what you have.
If she's tired with the kids and probably you, help out. |
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I may be old fashioned but if your unhappy and actively seeking out other woman then you should leave . I’m sure she would rather you were honest and left if your that unhappy instead of finding you plastered all over dating sites and finding out that you are out sleeping with other woman. I get sex is a big part of any relationship but when both people
Are busy and tired and also throw kids into the mix it can be the last thing on your mind. Spend some proper time together without the kids like going for dinner, cinema or even a game of bowling. When you start enjoying each others company again the sex will come with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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An ex of mine is still on here meeting women off and on despite having had a new girlfriend for over a year. It's the same pattern again and again
Perhaps seek the support of a therapist if you feel you have a problem. For yourself .... but you could consider couples therapy.
If you genuinely love your wife... shagging other people is a sure fire way to lose her.
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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Someone suggested you leave her. Don't leave her. She's feeling low and probably needs you now more than ever. She may be feeling that all she is only a mum and parenting is all she does. You need to be as supportive as possible. Get the kids taken care of and go and do something that you once did before the children arrived. Get off the social media and dating apps, they're bad for your health. Show her that she matters to you. |
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