"I just burst into song when I'm in a lift, freaks most people out but I love the ones that join in"
i chat to people or ask them which floor they want

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By *ambertMan 27 weeks ago

Cheltenham

GO AWAY! `BAITIN

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 27 weeks ago

Southampton

Start mentioning the tensile strengths of the cables holding it

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By *oozleMan 27 weeks ago

high wycombe

The last lift I was in, nobody survived!, want to help me make this my second

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By *ools and the brainCouple 27 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"guy's look I don't want to concern anyone but this little plaque says max load 4 person's or350kgs, there's ten of us in here and me and my mate weigh 110kgs each.

So unless you lot are alot lighter than you look we are fucked"

Twang!

"IM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THAT,HELLLLLPPPPPP WE ARE ALLL GOING TO DIE GET ME OUT,GET ME OUT........"

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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago

It's true you do get to live out your death over and over .......

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By *rBobbMan 27 weeks ago

Birmingham

I wonder if that spare part they were waiting for turned up.

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By *2000ManMan 27 weeks ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 24/05/24 16:56:47]

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By *2000ManMan 27 weeks ago

Worthing

Hope it's not like the lift scene in Omen II.

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By *ools and the brainCouple 27 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

How are we going up to the 13th floor?

This building only has 1 floor

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By *elloWoman 27 weeks ago

alpha centauri

As you lift doors close , SCREAM, and don't stop until the doors reopen,

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By *aM 689Man 27 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

""You! You're first" as I start to undress myself

That is 100% not the worst thing you could say

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By *ris GrayMan 27 weeks ago

Dorchester

I have irritable bowl syndrome

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple 27 weeks ago

Northampton

Are you on Fab?

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By *coobyABCMan 27 weeks ago

Aberdeen

Egg sandwich anyone? Then open the tub

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By *aulhornyladMan 27 weeks ago

Sunderland

Allah akbah

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By *ools and the brainCouple 27 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I can't help thinking about Marvin the manic depressed Robot in hitchhiker's.

That's me in a lift.

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By *BWLOVER1965Man 27 weeks ago

My Own Little World

More do then say went to coarse in London coming back from Holborn some dirty git farted was absolutely disgusting pushed him and his backpack away from me and this woman absolutely horrific

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By *agatoXXXMan 27 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"Who wants to pull my finger?"

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By *he Silver FuxMan 27 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

I had a visibly very pregnant colleague who was a great friend and in a crowded lift in a ‘loud’ whisper so that everyone could hear I said “when are you going to tell your husband it’s mine?”.

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By *he Silver FuxMan 27 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Allah akbah"

…Whilst wearing a rucksack and holding up a switch with wires running into your sleeve?

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan 27 weeks ago

All over the place

Oops I've followed through

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman 27 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

*takes pants off*

“Right then, who’s going down?”

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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago

“Can you spare some change please?”

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By *iaisonseekerMan 27 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Still waiting for my reinforced rubber underwear to arrive."

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By *oweliktrMan 27 weeks ago

Buckingham

-Cough-It’s not contagious I promise-cough cough

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By *ex HolesMan 27 weeks ago

Up North

Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho

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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago

“Sorry folks, this lift is out of order. Please use the stairs, sorry for the inconvenience, thanks for your cooperation”

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By *parky-1992Man 27 weeks ago

dublin

Anyyyyy seconnndddd nowwwww…

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By *ot to giggleWoman 27 weeks ago

Coventry

"'Ground floor perfumery,

stationery and leather goods,

wigs and haberdashery

kitchenware and food...going up'

Only 1 other person would laugh and the rest of the lift would wonder what is wrong with these 2 old people , what are they talking about.

I'm old

I could hear the tills and the tune as I read it.

^^^^^^^^^ hahaha same

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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago

Sorry about that fart I always get nervous when I'm erect

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By *aygallaMan 27 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

Your floor or mine

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By *rispyDuckMan 27 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

My uncle Bin Laden once said ___

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By *ohn 66Man 26 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Have you accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your life?"

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By *cLovin2Man 26 weeks ago

Reading

""Have you accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your life?""

No but I'm interested in the phone number of Maria Magdalena

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By *ympha LuxuriaWoman 26 weeks ago

La La Land

I think I'm going to be sick

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By *r John WickMan 26 weeks ago

The Continental

Jesus Bob……what button did you push?

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By *aizyWoman 26 weeks ago

west midlands

Hello

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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago

Fancy a bum?

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By *rBobbMan 26 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Jesus Bob……what button did you push? "

It wasn't me. I didn't push anything

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By *r John WickMan 26 weeks ago

The Continental

"Hello"

You win the internet today.

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By *partharmonyCouple 26 weeks ago

Ruislip

"I think you'll find that one was silent but deadly."

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By *ornLordMan 26 weeks ago

Wiltshire and London

""Have you accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your life?""

That stuff used to embarrass me even when I espoused some sort of faith...

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By *ingu and The ApeCouple 26 weeks ago

The Igloo

Anyone ever watch any of the Final destination films?

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By *ris GrayMan 26 weeks ago

Dorchester

[Removed by poster at 31/05/24 14:05:42]

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By *ris GrayMan 26 weeks ago

Dorchester

It wasn't me

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By *edbiker6Man 26 weeks ago

Scarborough

To cough then say don’t worry I don’t think it’s contagious

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By *aulhornyladMan 24 weeks ago

Sunderland

Alah akbar

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By *uckingFutzMan 24 weeks ago

Plymouth

Pardon me, I farted!

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By *hortishblondeWoman 24 weeks ago

Essex

Have you watched that film you know the one where they all die in the lift

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By *he turned me GreyCouple 24 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

We've got at least 10 mins of Air left..

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By *allandathleticMan 24 weeks ago

Asgard

I've lost my boomslang snake.

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By *rucking-HellMan 24 weeks ago

Northampton

"Who here is on Fab?"

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