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Does your opinion of yourself...
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This is quite deep for a Thursday evening.
I don't know. I think I know what most people who know me think about me, but I'm pretty sure people who don't know me and maybe see me in the street or a shop, make assumptions and apply stereotypes. I think people who don't know me, think I'm weak and possibly cognitively impaired. That couldn't be further from the truth.
I know I'm a tough old bird anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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No. I have a strong sense of who I am. But I do feel like the way that some people see me, negatively, affects my mental health for some reason. Well I kinda know why but it’s deep shit. |
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I think a few people think they can influence me into making decisions, I think some people think I am not fun as I don't drink, that I'm quite boring and sometimes I think it myself but if in completely honest with myself, right now I couldn't give 2 shits what people think of me, how they see me, for the first time in a very long time I actually feel "me" and I won't let anyone try and change that x |
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Wow a thinking Thursday !!! - i have quite a negative opinion of myself - stems from the past - hear negative comments more easily than positive ones. I do find negativity from others hard at times to shake off, its my conditioning.
I try not to listen too much to others, and find it quite hard to understand sometimes positivity. But hey ... im happy and I bimble along in my own little bubble trying to avoid the bumps.  |
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It's very easy to say that I don't consider how others see me when forming an opinion of myself but it's not that straightforward.
Growing up I can say that I never allowed other people's opinions dictate my actions or how I saw myself.
In my 40s almost everything I did or believed was influenced by others.
Since turning 50 I won't say I don't care what anyone else thinks of me because I value the thoughts of those who really know me but I don't measure myself against the opinions of random strangers either irl or here. |
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It's more reliant on myself than those close to me, and more reliant on those close to me than the opinions of people I don't even know.
But it would be a lie to say I'm not affected by the latter. But I think that's okay. I'm lucky enough to sit on the side that gets more positive reinforcement from strangers on at least an aesthetic level.
I'm fairly secure in myself and who I am. My nearest and dearest support and help that, then the rest sometimes has a little effect on the short term I suppose. |
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"I have a very definitive opinion of myself. It would be quick nice if what other people said influenced it but it never does which is just rude  "
You should have a word with your opinion of yourself, it has poor manners and is, I am sure, a poor judge of character. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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Oh it absolutely does, probably in a way that I've struggled with in terms of understanding who I actually am as a person. I feel it can be masked by the impression I want to leave on others by matching their energy and opinions although I do think I have a set of core values that help me know what type of person I want to be. Maybe I'm just different chatting to people than I am when in my own. |
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"...depend on how others see you (or how you think they see you), or do you have a strong idea of yourself regardless of what other people think?"
Yeah, I think how others see me has definitely impacted how I see myself. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first person to seek validation from others, especially when it comes to body image in my case.
That's one heck of a deep thought for a Thursday  |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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No. I really struggle with any kind of compliment,.to the point I read them and I kinda hate the person that gives them as I think they are full of shit.
I feel good when I feel good about myself, not when others tell me. |
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"No. I really struggle with any kind of compliment,.to the point I read them and I kinda hate the person that gives them as I think they are full of shit.
I feel good when I feel good about myself, not when others tell me. "
Mrs is the worst at receiving a compliment. |
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"How others view me is very important to me,I know I shouldn't but I do.
And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself."
That sounds like a rough place to be and I hope you find a way out of it soon. |
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"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.
I am genuinely sorry to hear that. "
Thank you.
Unfortunately my deep rooted self loathing is something I think I'll never be rid of.
I think it's one of the reasons I'm very critical of others because I'm hypercritical of myself, it's pretty sad really but there's genuinely not one thing I like about myself.
 |
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"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.
I am genuinely sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
Unfortunately my deep rooted self loathing is something I think I'll never be rid of.
I think it's one of the reasons I'm very critical of others because I'm hypercritical of myself, it's pretty sad really but there's genuinely not one thing I like about myself.
"
Hugs xx |
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"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.
I am genuinely sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
Unfortunately my deep rooted self loathing is something I think I'll never be rid of.
I think it's one of the reasons I'm very critical of others because I'm hypercritical of myself, it's pretty sad really but there's genuinely not one thing I like about myself.
"
I have nothing meaningful to say but the thought that did jump into my head was from that great philosopher Elsa: just let it go. |
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It's a life's learning to know oneself and our self-perception is the lens we look through when we see others. I've met very few people whose lens is so clear of distortion that they could see others better than they can see themselves, including myself. And I've been working on it a long time. I keep meeting myself coming the other way. Where did I leave my keys?
I do care what people think, but I am not about to sacrifice the autonomy of my own mind over it. What would I be then other than a collection of people's ideas about me? I would still choose, which ideas to consider and so it is the I that makes that choice I am left to understand.
Does strength lie in rigidity or flexibility?
Perhaps letting go of a need for a strong idea of oneself, is what is truly liberating? I think that's where I am with myself, well at the moment it will fluctuate. Nope wait I'm just hungry -more pasta - AHH there's my keys. |
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Honestly? I don't care what others might think of me. I have friends going back 40-50 years, I have friends I met in the last 10 years. I meet people every day, more than happy to chat to strangers in the pub or elsewhere. You don't like me? Man, that really tears me to pieces! Not! There are at least 500 other people I can and will meet in a pub or elsewhere. Why lose sleep over this? |
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By *rispyDuckMan 37 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
I read somewhere that:
A Lion is not concerned with opinions of Sheep.
This has always stayed with me. So depends on the scenario how I would respond& if the opinion is coming from someone I would consider another lion or sheep   |
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"I don’t know. I think that if I’m in a not so great headspace, other peoples opinions can affect the way I view myself. Be it negative or positive. "
Yes this is me. If I am not feeling good or am anxious/stressed I tend to find others opinions affect me. Only negative ones though oddly.
It is annoying.
MrsAbz |
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External validation is largely meaningless.
My relationship with myself is more important than anything anyone else says to me or about me.
This has however come from having a morality, a philosophy to live by and some pretty tough and worthwhile life lessons. |
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By *EAT..85Woman 37 weeks ago
Nottingham |
I'd say the main opinion that I took from others was about a physical feature that I didn't like but now accept is widely liked and I resultingly have confidence in it now.
Personality wise, I know who I am and project what I want others to see. Or not see. I don't require validation, I'm confident and enjoy being myself. |
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