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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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So I used to think I was odd as I could never understand the concept of going through life being close to just one person. I used to think you could be with the most incredible person, but there will always be another person who catches your eyes abd you ask yourself, I wonder who that person is!
So question is...
If you've met your solemate, do you think it becomes easier to accept a lifetime with that one person?
I know answers will be bias on a site like this, so maybe one for the singles... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"I'm happily ENM.
Caring deeply for one person doesn't affect how deeply I can care for another.
As long as everyone is on board with that, we're all good  "
I guess this sums up my thoughts! We live life having several close friends, many have several children, yes society says you should only have a deep relationship with 1 person.
Can I ask, do friends and family see your view on this or are you made to feel strange or different (DM if you'd rather answer in private)  |
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By *TG3Man 36 weeks ago
Dorchester |
I think the answerto this in terms of children is one person that you love and cherish and are good to for life but for adults who have no intention of having children just be happy with who you are with  |
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I'm emotionally monogomous in that I know I only want to have a really close, deep, personal relationship with one person romantically. That doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to have many other kinds of relationships |
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"I'm happily ENM.
Caring deeply for one person doesn't affect how deeply I can care for another.
As long as everyone is on board with that, we're all good
I guess this sums up my thoughts! We live life having several close friends, many have several children, yes society says you should only have a deep relationship with 1 person.
Can I ask, do friends and family see your view on this or are you made to feel strange or different (DM if you'd rather answer in private) "
Friends understand, or at least make efforts to adjust their usual heteronormative view to be able to empathise and understand. I know some don't quite grasp it as a concept, but they accept that's the way I am and don't make negative comments.
Mother pretends it's not a thing, I don't introduce her to anyone anyway. Siblings are fine with it.
Had the odd funny look at work when mentioning 'one of my partners' as a thing, but no one has been outwardly hostile about it, and most are pleasant and interested in how it all works. |
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Doughnut and myself don't believe in just one person for the rest of your life, unfortunately for me, it's a grey area so for me, meeting anyone of the male variety at least, is never going to happen again x |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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I’ve met my soulmate. Maybe she’s one of my soulmates. But she’s my soulmate. And we are committed to being together forever. And also with other people too. We nest together, we have a child together. We always want to be together. But we also want to be with other people too in various ways. |
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We found each other and we probably won’t have romantic relations with others but we like to have deep connections with others.
For example, we had a FWB who we’d see maybe once a month - once there C would have the attention of 2 gents. She pretty much had two boyfriends for the weekend.
Not that this happens with everyone as obviously people have different lives and other things going on and he was single but it shows that we are happy to share each other.
K |
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I guess we are emotionally monogamous and I'm happy with that, I've found my person & i don't open myself up to many people, he's the one.
Sexually we obviously aren't monogamous but sex is sex.
I don't think I could do the whole poly thing, I can be open sexuality but not emotionally.
Mrs |
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As Mrs4 says....Big difference between love and sex ...and people confuse the two most times and yes sex is great with someone you love/care about but there is always the so called "One" you might want to have some strictly sexy fun with nothing else nothing more  |
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By *mf123Man 36 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
I once believed in the soul stuff but it made me a sap for a long time i also believed if i tried hard enough id shoot lazers from my eyes turns out i just got headache
Moral of story shit happens then you die  |
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"I'm happily ENM.
Caring deeply for one person doesn't affect how deeply I can care for another.
As long as everyone is on board with that, we're all good
I guess this sums up my thoughts! We live life having several close friends, many have several children, yes society says you should only have a deep relationship with 1 person.
Can I ask, do friends and family see your view on this or are you made to feel strange or different (DM if you'd rather answer in private) "
My family including my kids know. They don't really judge but say it wouldn't be a fit for them. They also find it amusing. |
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I don't believe in soulmates.
I do think that some people are capable of having emotionally and physically fulfilling monogamous relationships. More power to them.
I sort of think - there are a wide variety of people out there with whom I have enough compatibility that I could spend decades/ the rest of my life with them. I wouldn't put all my emotional weight onto one person, and I wouldn't want all of theirs either. (Of course if I were born in the time of my grandparents I'd just kind of pray that I was matched with/ found someone who was one of the people I could spend forever with).
To me sexual relationships are an extension of friendship. I love my friends, even those I wouldn't sleep with if my life depended on it. There's a closeness that can exceed sexual relationships. But there's a small subset of people I'm super close to, where there's also a sexual component - that can add to the closeness.
But I'm neurospicy, so it might not make sense to others. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"I don't believe in soulmates.
I do think that some people are capable of having emotionally and physically fulfilling monogamous relationships. More power to them.
I sort of think - there are a wide variety of people out there with whom I have enough compatibility that I could spend decades/ the rest of my life with them. I wouldn't put all my emotional weight onto one person, and I wouldn't want all of theirs either. (Of course if I were born in the time of my grandparents I'd just kind of pray that I was matched with/ found someone who was one of the people I could spend forever with).
To me sexual relationships are an extension of friendship. I love my friends, even those I wouldn't sleep with if my life depended on it. There's a closeness that can exceed sexual relationships. But there's a small subset of people I'm super close to, where there's also a sexual component - that can add to the closeness.
But I'm neurospicy, so it might not make sense to others."
Neurospicy... thats defo got to be made up!! Haha (as he slopes off to google...) |
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"I don't believe in soulmates.
I do think that some people are capable of having emotionally and physically fulfilling monogamous relationships. More power to them.
I sort of think - there are a wide variety of people out there with whom I have enough compatibility that I could spend decades/ the rest of my life with them. I wouldn't put all my emotional weight onto one person, and I wouldn't want all of theirs either. (Of course if I were born in the time of my grandparents I'd just kind of pray that I was matched with/ found someone who was one of the people I could spend forever with).
To me sexual relationships are an extension of friendship. I love my friends, even those I wouldn't sleep with if my life depended on it. There's a closeness that can exceed sexual relationships. But there's a small subset of people I'm super close to, where there's also a sexual component - that can add to the closeness.
But I'm neurospicy, so it might not make sense to others.
Neurospicy... thats defo got to be made up!! Haha (as he slopes off to google...) "
It is, I borrowed from someone here.
I'm neurodivergent. (Autism in my case, but neurodiversity also incorporates ADHD and other conditions) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"I don't believe in soulmates.
I do think that some people are capable of having emotionally and physically fulfilling monogamous relationships. More power to them.
I sort of think - there are a wide variety of people out there with whom I have enough compatibility that I could spend decades/ the rest of my life with them. I wouldn't put all my emotional weight onto one person, and I wouldn't want all of theirs either. (Of course if I were born in the time of my grandparents I'd just kind of pray that I was matched with/ found someone who was one of the people I could spend forever with).
To me sexual relationships are an extension of friendship. I love my friends, even those I wouldn't sleep with if my life depended on it. There's a closeness that can exceed sexual relationships. But there's a small subset of people I'm super close to, where there's also a sexual component - that can add to the closeness.
But I'm neurospicy, so it might not make sense to others.
Neurospicy... thats defo got to be made up!! Haha (as he slopes off to google...)
It is, I borrowed from someone here.
I'm neurodivergent. (Autism in my case, but neurodiversity also incorporates ADHD and other conditions)"
Oh I have ADHD... can i be considered neurospicy also?
Oh this gives me an idea.for a thread... neuro socials  |
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"I don't believe in soulmates.
I do think that some people are capable of having emotionally and physically fulfilling monogamous relationships. More power to them.
I sort of think - there are a wide variety of people out there with whom I have enough compatibility that I could spend decades/ the rest of my life with them. I wouldn't put all my emotional weight onto one person, and I wouldn't want all of theirs either. (Of course if I were born in the time of my grandparents I'd just kind of pray that I was matched with/ found someone who was one of the people I could spend forever with).
To me sexual relationships are an extension of friendship. I love my friends, even those I wouldn't sleep with if my life depended on it. There's a closeness that can exceed sexual relationships. But there's a small subset of people I'm super close to, where there's also a sexual component - that can add to the closeness.
But I'm neurospicy, so it might not make sense to others.
Neurospicy... thats defo got to be made up!! Haha (as he slopes off to google...)
It is, I borrowed from someone here.
I'm neurodivergent. (Autism in my case, but neurodiversity also incorporates ADHD and other conditions)
Oh I have ADHD... can i be considered neurospicy also?
Oh this gives me an idea.for a thread... neuro socials "
Yes, if you want to be. That's up to you.
I was sort of more thinking - my thoughts on norms tend not to line up with normies. Your mileage may vary on what I have to say. |
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It depends on how you define soul mate I guess. The one person for you that meets every need ever and forever? Nope. But the one person who is in sync with you, that sees life the same way as you etc etc... then yes. But does it have to be one soul mate? I have a soul mate (my wife) and a soul best mate.
I think the concept of soul mate is dynamic agnostic, and definitely not limited to numbers. But then like everything, personal perspective and lived experiences matter. |
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