"When you've got it you've got it baby 
Not sure why I'd want to switch it off? I've just learnt that I'm worthy. That gives me confidence and it certainly isn't based on anything physical!  "
I think a lot of it is down to age and experience. I'm still not that confident in new situations, but these are less frequent these days and I've the ability to bluff my way through now. |
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By *abonTedCouple 31 weeks ago
Midlands & Cheltenham |
I think confidence is the expression of self acceptance. It comes in many different guises and tho it can ebb and flow a little, I don’t think you can turn it on or off.
The understanding of confidence I think you might be referring to is a few stereotypical behaviours that may or may not be authentic, and can definitely be put on. |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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"When you've got it you've got it baby
Not sure why I'd want to switch it off? I've just learnt that I'm worthy. That gives me confidence and it certainly isn't based on anything physical! "
Acts of Self care & kind self talk/ affirmation which builds self worth & self belief, all leading to self love, yet maintaining humility too. Retraining your brain / narrative. |
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I'm not sure you can actively switch it on and off (though you can fake it), but I do think it can come and go.
I'm reasonably confident, but more confident about some things than others, and assume that's true for most people...?
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Confidence is about being yourself and liking yourself. That might mean you’re quiet, loud, playful, withdrawn… any of those things. But if you’re being you you’re owning it. 
I am massively attracted to people with confidence in their own skin  |
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"Confidence is about being yourself and liking yourself. That might mean you’re quiet, loud, playful, withdrawn… any of those things. But if you’re being you you’re owning it.
I am massively attracted to people with confidence in their own skin "
I’m massively attracted to people with skin.
Ed Gein. |
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"Confidence is about being yourself and liking yourself. That might mean you’re quiet, loud, playful, withdrawn… any of those things. But if you’re being you you’re owning it.
I am massively attracted to people with confidence in their own skin
I’m massively attracted to people with skin.
Ed Gein. "
He is my hero along with Ted Bundy obvs  |
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"How do you get it, what is it, do you have any, do you need any, can you switch it on and off"
Success is the key to confidence. Gaining confidence depends what it's related to... but achieving your goals will generally come with added confidence.
Cal |
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By *eliWoman 31 weeks ago
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I'm not sure how you get it back - perhaps by learning to love who you are. Being comfortable with that and embracing it.
My confidence is growing, I like who I am. I apologise less for taking up space, for saying peculiar things, for being myself. It's a work in progress and I'm comfortable with that. |
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"How do you get it, what is it, do you have any, do you need any, can you switch it on and off"
I don't know how to get it, sadly. I had it once but it is gone.
However, years of practice means that naked or clothed I will appear to be completely at ease with myself and full of confidence.
I can tell you how to create a confidence mask to wear, if thats any use?
MrsAbz |
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I had zero confidence or self esteem for all of my life until just before turning 50.
I had a couple of life changing and life affirming experiences at that point and haven't looked back since.
I'm confident enough now to get through without being overly confident. A quiet confidence mostly.
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By *edeWoman 31 weeks ago
the abyss |
I've no idea how you get it but I don't have it. I think you can be more confident in certain circumstances which may appear that you are turning it on and off.
If anyone finds a quick may to get it - please let me know the secret |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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"How do you get it, what is it, do you have any, do you need any, can you switch it on and off"
By being the last man standing on Fortnight. I’ve got an epic emoji dance that goes with it. |
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How do you get it?
I think age and experience help. Also, learning how to read between the lines with others - what are they ACTUALLY saying, behind the words. Centring them in your mind gives you more space to find your own centre, which is where a lot of confidence comes from.
What is it?
It's a lot of things, ranging from desire to do things AND THEN actions to achieve them, but it can also go too far fairly easily. I think that's a price you have to accept paying. It's not always the same "flow rate", but if you enjoy being confident, you probably have to accept that sometimes the flow rate is too high and it becomes excessive, for you and others. If you set your taps "too low" in the first place, you may well find that they're much too low on some days, and then you have no measurable or usable confidence to call on.
It does help backing off and apologising if ever you've gone too far, but if you haven't gone far enough in harvesting it originally, your lack of confidence won't be lifted up by others in any real sense. They have their own pressures to deal with.
So err on the side of having it, with the costs that can bring, rather than not having enough, because others can't really fill it up for you as effectively as you can fill it up yourself.
Do you have any?
It's rare for me to find I don't have enough to call on.
Do you need any?
I don't think so.
Can you switch it on and off?
There are times it's inappropriate, so it gets parked. |
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By *eah BabyCouple 31 weeks ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Life’s to short to not do what you want to do or say what you want to say or shy away from being you, like they say life doesn’t give you a dress rehearsal, do what makes you happy and don’t worry about what others may think, if people don’t like you as you are that’s their problem not yours, your life live it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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Mine came with time, experience and accepting myself. I don't just mean sex either. Just life itself. I think a big part of it is not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks of me. |
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"You wanna borrow my beautiful penis?
Yes please. 
J
For confirmation purposes.
Not to stick up your vag!
Bloody pervert.
Oh.  
What about in my mouth? 
J"
Whichever is wetter.
Or warmer.
Or unoccupied… |
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I think for me it is something that has come with age. But also enduring a lot of hardship has made me view the world differently and made me realise how unimportant some things are, and in turn that has made a huge change to my confidence and how I view life. I still struggle occasionally but overall I'm pretty confident day to day in most aspects of my life. |
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I believe it’s something you learn over years as a life skill, at work I’m super confident because I know my job inside and out, out of work depends on the situation but to much confidence can come across as arrogant not good |
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By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago
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"An old adage holds true – “There's a thin line between confidence and arrogance. It's called humility. Confidence smiles, arrogance smirks…”
Better to be a smiler  "
Sexy lady (yes, I'm sorry but had a perv. at what looks like a lovely profile. Gr8 bod. and always nice to see a happy couple having plenty fun. Smiles all round. |
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there a book by Susan Jeffers - 'feel the fear and do it anyway' - great starter for positive power - confidence is driven by positivity or pretending to be positive. Stop being afraid and use this to help drive you forward, turn indecisiveness into energy, enthusiasm and action. Using those negative feeling as the driving force to push forward.
Its like everything else the more you do the more you get used to harnessing it and do it - i actually love public speaking, I have done a bit - the first few minutes im a wreck and at the end i can be shaking as the adrenalin to do it is released.
Sorry long winded - but love this stuff and have worked quite a bit with people who are struggling with day to day . Its a good read and makes you think. |
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By *929Man 31 weeks ago
newcastle |
Do whatever it takes to feel good about yourself for some it’s being in shape for others it’s dressing nice in designer clothes ect find what works for you.
Personally and I know it’s not healthy but my confidence goes to shit if I lose weight or feel small so I try and avoid that at all costs, if I look “big” and people notice I feel great was at a bbq last night and my mate asked if I was “on” and his wife before I could answer said of course he fucking is just look at him and that made me happy haha |
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And also not giving a damn about the opinions of sheep, cause you are a lion 