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The Sinister Bottom Café
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Good morning everyone. Thank you pocket you are a true rocket.
Here to make your Sunday morning a delight. We have got it all from you, from freshly baked pastries, meaty girthy sausages and delicious bunz galore. The coffee is freshly ground and outstanding.
We are here for you to satisfy all your Sunday morning desires. Lets's have it. Sinister will be here shortly and she has lots of specials for you as always  |
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We have a great spanish omellette on the menu today, avo on toast, a colombian calentado, mexican chilaquiles, argentnian fracturas and belgian waffles. Not forgetting our full english of course which is legendary. Anything not on the menu, we will still try and do it for you. |
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You are very welcome Mr Bottom
For those of you who havent been before here are a selection of some of the trip advisor reviews from the last few weeks....
"Love the way Miss Sinister handled my sausage"
"Dont be afraid to ask Mr MB to take you round the back to show you the specials board"
"Certainly made Sunday Saucy...and I'm not talking Heinz or HP!"
"Be prepared if you ask for a special treat  "
"When Miss Sinister says brunch is on me.....  " Apparently this one is to do with sustainability and saving on washing 
"Mr MB is so attentive always making sure you havent dropped anything onto your lap" |
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"Good morning everyone. Thank you pocket you are a true rocket.
Here to make your Sunday morning a delight. We have got it all from you, from freshly baked pastries, meaty girthy sausages and delicious bunz galore. The coffee is freshly ground and outstanding.
We are here for you to satisfy all your Sunday morning desires. Lets's have it. Sinister will be here shortly and she has lots of specials for you as always "
Massive baps,
Big squirts of sauce,
And large sausages. |
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"We have a great spanish omellette on the menu today, avo on toast, a colombian calentado, mexican chilaquiles, argentnian fracturas and belgian waffles. Not forgetting our full english of course which is legendary. Anything not on the menu, we will still try and do it for you. "
Oh. Yes please….. |
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"We have a great spanish omellette on the menu today, avo on toast, a colombian calentado, mexican chilaquiles, argentnian fracturas and belgian waffles. Not forgetting our full english of course which is legendary. Anything not on the menu, we will still try and do it for you.
Oh. Yes please….. "
We rarely say no in this cafe, our punters are the centre of attention. Put your order in and let us to the rest. A full belly and a smile on the face |
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"You are very welcome Mr Bottom
For those of you who havent been before here are a selection of some of the trip advisor reviews from the last few weeks....
"Love the way Miss Sinister handled my sausage"
"Dont be afraid to ask Mr MB to take you round the back to show you the specials board"
"Certainly made Sunday Saucy...and I'm not talking Heinz or HP!"
"Be prepared if you ask for a special treat "
"When Miss Sinister says brunch is on me..... " Apparently this one is to do with sustainability and saving on washing
"Mr MB is so attentive always making sure you havent dropped anything onto your lap""
Thanks Me pocketrocket for highlghting some of the amazing reviews we had. We have a lot of repeaters in our cafe but of course we welcome new ones all the time too. Hundreds of 5 star reviews. Thanks for sharing a few |
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"It's been said MB and I bend over backwards for our customers.
 "
Don't we just? But they are all very lovely and appreciative. A bit slow o the orders this morning but will soon pick up snd we have some lovely specials from around the world today too.  |
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"It's been said MB and I bend over backwards for our customers.
Don't we just? But they are all very lovely and appreciative. A bit slow o the orders this morning but will soon pick up snd we have some lovely specials from around the world today too. "
Maybe a few people have gone for a day trip in the sunshine...perhaps I could come in early next week and help you both prepare some picnics to go - all about client satisfaction |
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"It's been said MB and I bend over backwards for our customers.
Don't we just? But they are all very lovely and appreciative. A bit slow o the orders this morning but will soon pick up snd we have some lovely specials from around the world today too.
Maybe a few people have gone for a day trip in the sunshine...perhaps I could come in early next week and help you both prepare some picnics to go - all about client satisfaction "
You are very kind. An extra hand or two always usuleful. Keep an eye at the front for a moment please. I am going at tbe back to show a customer our herb garden |
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"I'll have Misty and spinster for my breakfast, please 
You'll have to wait til I knock off FN.
Something while you wait to nibble on ? "
Ah, my heart has skipped a little at the thought of us having a carnal interlude |
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Could I have a take out order, please. Unfortunately I'm working today, so won't be able to sit and enjoy all the tasty treats, and I don't necessarily mean the menu items!
Could I have smashed avocado on seeded batch toast, and could you pop a poached egg on top, with a sprinkle of cayenne pepper? And I'll have the largest tea you have. |
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"I'll have Misty and spinster for my breakfast, please
You'll have to wait til I knock off FN.
Something while you wait to nibble on ?
Ah, my heart has skipped a little at the thought of us having a carnal interlude "
She is making some dosas stuffed with spicy potatoes at the momen to serve with fragrant, hot Sambar and cold coconut chutney. We have an international theme at the cafe today. She will be with you soon. |
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"I'll have Misty and spinster for my breakfast, please
You'll have to wait til I knock off FN.
Something while you wait to nibble on ?
Ah, my heart has skipped a little at the thought of us having a carnal interlude
She is making some dosas stuffed with spicy potatoes at the momen to serve with fragrant, hot Sambar and cold coconut chutney. We have an international theme at the cafe today. She will be with you soon. "
I got waylaid by a vigorous stuffing.
|
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"It's been said MB and I bend over backwards for our customers.
Don't we just? But they are all very lovely and appreciative. A bit slow o the orders this morning but will soon pick up snd we have some lovely specials from around the world today too.
Maybe a few people have gone for a day trip in the sunshine...perhaps I could come in early next week and help you both prepare some picnics to go - all about client satisfaction
You are very kind. An extra hand or two always usuleful. Keep an eye at the front for a moment please. I am going at tbe back to show a customer our herb garden "
Will do
Do herbs count as one of your five a day Ha |
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"Could I have a take out order, please. Unfortunately I'm working today, so won't be able to sit and enjoy all the tasty treats, and I don't necessarily mean the menu items!
Could I have smashed avocado on seeded batch toast, and could you pop a poached egg on top, with a sprinkle of cayenne pepper? And I'll have the largest tea you have."
Absolutely, and a little cheeky treat whilst you wait. Our toast by the way is seeded to perfection and our avocados arrived fresh this morning. Will do you a flask of tea to take out |
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"I'll have Misty and spinster for my breakfast, please
You'll have to wait til I knock off FN.
Something while you wait to nibble on ?
Ah, my heart has skipped a little at the thought of us having a carnal interlude
She is making some dosas stuffed with spicy potatoes at the momen to serve with fragrant, hot Sambar and cold coconut chutney. We have an international theme at the cafe today. She will be with you soon.
I got waylaid by a vigorous stuffing.
"
I'm going to clean you up now |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations. "
 noted!! it’s Fifes fault |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault "
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
|
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault "
I'm feeling underused, so ready to take you fantastic ladies outside, then for a slap up meal afterwards |
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"It's been said MB and I bend over backwards for our customers.
Don't we just? But they are all very lovely and appreciative. A bit slow o the orders this morning but will soon pick up snd we have some lovely specials from around the world today too.
Maybe a few people have gone for a day trip in the sunshine...perhaps I could come in early next week and help you both prepare some picnics to go - all about client satisfaction
You are very kind. An extra hand or two always usuleful. Keep an eye at the front for a moment please. I am going at tbe back to show a customer our herb garden
Will do
Do herbs count as one of your five a day Ha"
We do have one or two customers they like to pop in at the back and see what's going on. |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
"
I’m sure I can calm him?! |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?! "
Deffo |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo "
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ? |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?"
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch "
We do brunches a little later on. Still on breakfast menu |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch "
Let’s go!! |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch
We do brunches a little later on. Still on breakfast menu "
Oops sorry mb xx |
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"We have a great spanish omellette on the menu today, avo on toast, a colombian calentado, mexican chilaquiles, argentnian fracturas and belgian waffles. Not forgetting our full english of course which is legendary. Anything not on the menu, we will still try and do it for you.
Oh. Yes please…..
We rarely say no in this cafe, our punters are the centre of attention. Put your order in and let us to the rest. A full belly and a smile on the face "
I just want everything  |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch
Let’s go!! "
My kind of meal |
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"Already stuffed had full English this Morning
With Black pudding and fried bread x 3
A little of what you like every now again doesn’t hurt
Just coffee for me "
Coffee coming up. Our columbian blend is recommended. You can try an argentinian factura with that. Delicious filled with homemade custard |
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"Please can I have the churros con chocolate? "
MB is in charge of chocolate deliciousness, I'll make sure he fulfils your order asap.
Feel free to get him to fulfil anything else you fancy whilst he's at it. |
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"Already stuffed had full English this Morning
With Black pudding and fried bread x 3
A little of what you like every now again doesn’t hurt
Just coffee for me
Coffee coming up. Our columbian blend is recommended. You can try an argentinian factura with that. Delicious filled with homemade custard "
Ta Muchly sir think i need energy for tackling garden today |
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"Already stuffed had full English this Morning
With Black pudding and fried bread x 3
A little of what you like every now again doesn’t hurt
Just coffee for me
Coffee coming up. Our columbian blend is recommended. You can try an argentinian factura with that. Delicious filled with homemade custard
Ta Muchly sir think i need energy for tackling garden today "
You can have refills throughout to keep you going. Good day for gardening though. You will get through it |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch
Let’s go!! "
I think he’s calm now lol |
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"Already stuffed had full English this Morning
With Black pudding and fried bread x 3
A little of what you like every now again doesn’t hurt
Just coffee for me
Coffee coming up. Our columbian blend is recommended. You can try an argentinian factura with that. Delicious filled with homemade custard
Ta Muchly sir think i need energy for tackling garden today
You can have refills throughout to keep you going. Good day for gardening though. You will get through it "
Ta take you up on that |
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"Already stuffed had full English this Morning
With Black pudding and fried bread x 3
A little of what you like every now again doesn’t hurt
Just coffee for me
Coffee coming up. Our columbian blend is recommended. You can try an argentinian factura with that. Delicious filled with homemade custard
Ta Muchly sir think i need energy for tackling garden today
You can have refills throughout to keep you going. Good day for gardening though. You will get through it
Ta take you up on that "
Oops, had to read that twice |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch
Let’s go!!
I think he’s calm now lol "
I'm having a quick cornflakes break. Ready for round 2 |
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"Can I have a healthy breakfast please x
Bugga hearty not healthy!!!!!
Please remember it's out the back for bugga-ing, otherwise it plays hell with my table decorations.
noted!! it’s Fifes fault
If you want to take him out the back for some exercise, it might calm him down.
I’m sure I can calm him?!
Deffo
Oh come on then!! Quicky before breakfast ?
I was thinking more like a leisurely brunch
Let’s go!!
I think he’s calm now lol
I'm having a quick cornflakes break. Ready for round 2 "
You are?!!!! Gosh! |
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"Posh Scottish breakfast for me please
Tattie scones
Lorne sausage
Black pudding
Cherry tomatoes sautéed in balsamic and honey
Poached duck eggs.
Ta muchly"
Oh we do love a descerning customer. All coming up in a mo. And you are lucky as we picked those duck eggs earlier just after Daisy did her daily delivery. You can't get fresher than that |
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Sinister, can we have some more churos pls. They seem to be very popular today. Must be that extra sprinkling of cinnamon. Where are you and what did you do with pocketrocket. He suddenly disappeared too. I need a hand ovrr here |
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That's it now for breakfast but you can stay for our lock in whilst we get ready gor the lunch and afternoon tea shift. Enjoy and thank you from Sinister and I. Not forgetting pocketrocket either. |
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"Sinister, can we have some more churos pls. They seem to be very popular today. Must be that extra sprinkling of cinnamon. Where are you and what did you do with pocketrocket. He suddenly disappeared too. I need a hand ovrr here"
I gave him a hand, it's why he went.....
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"Queueing is so British
Don't you worry. It seems to be gradually disappearing just like so much else. Homogeneous behaviour seems to be catching up "
I do miss the 2m distance in public places. I get quite offended now, in the supermarket, if someone gets too close. |
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