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Spending guilt or splash the cash?
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Do you feel like you have to justify money spent on yourself or can you go on a shopping spree like there's no tomorrow?
As a Parent of a severely disabled child, I struggle to justify almost anything I want or need. We're certainly not hard done by but mentally I'm always thinking of whether that money for a new bra I need or a social event I want to go to could be better spent towards new sensory equipment for my Son or something for the family. I know this is quite typical "Mum guilt" but I always felt like I had to really justify purchases even before I had kids.
My Sister is the opposite and can spend money as quickly as she makes it.
So which one are you? |
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I'm similar to you, OP, my children come first. My elder is autistic and I think my younger has ADHD, so I'm with you on the sensory stuff, clothes, food, bedding, everything. My elder one is noise sensitive, bought Flares and noise cancelling headphones, all sorts of light display things. I get what's left! |
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By *929Man 33 weeks ago
newcastle |
I the first type as well I was never one to spend frivolously but having kids made me far worse and anything that was not an absolute necessity I’d rationalise that money better spent on the kids. They about to turn 15 and 17 now but still I go over every spending decision 1000 times before eventually deciding against it. Unless it’s money I’ll see back somehow eg spending on house or a tool for the business I’ll generally not spend |
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I hate spending money on me.
It's got a little easier since framing it as 'for morale' in my head, rather than 'treat yourself.'
It means I don't have to have been exceptionally good to be allowed to get something that makes me happy. I can just do it because I have the means and it will bring me joy  |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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Don’t have any children or anything
So no dependeds to feel guilty about spending
But I do spent Willy nilly then afterwards think I shouldn’t have and feel guilty and it was a waste
If you know what I mean
I see a lovely dress shose lingerie or what ever tell myself I not getting it bl bl bl
Spend 2 hours putting things in cart to delete the cart
To order then instantly regret it and think it was a waste I don’t need anymore clothes lingerie or heels |
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We've lived through some very tough financial times and it's very hard to shake that off. We often have to tell each other that yes, you can afford to buy that and no, there isn't anything more pressing to spend it on. I also take much more time deciding whether to spend £2:99 on a charity shop belt than a much bigger purchase. |
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I'm very much in the camp of I see something I want when I can't afford it and then when I do have money and I can actually buy it, I don't because I can't justify spending on myself. Doughnut hates it when I have my birthday or Christmas money because I'll either spend it on household stuff like bills or shopping or spend it on someone else.
Although I did splash out on getting my nails and toes done for my holiday and the guilt I felt for doing that lol |
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By *edeWoman 33 weeks ago
the abyss |
I mean my son is an adult and not living at home but spending money on myself still feels odd, even just buying a coffee or something when out seems a waste.
I wouldn't say I'm frugal - I just prefer to say my money to spend on experiences or time with people important to me |
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I've had people question my spending and they've been politely told to fuck off, it's none of their business.
I feel no guilt, I want to enjoy what I have and am in the position to so without any worry. Why others feel the need to question it I have no idea. |
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I'm very much like you OP I'm trying to get better, I have a monthly book subscription that's my little treat and even then I feel bad.
I finally went and bought some trousers the other day after walking around on ones too small for months & still feel guilty about that.
It's really annoying I wish I could go out and buy myself something without the mum guilt feeling afterwards.
Mrs |
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"I've had people question my spending and they've been politely told to fuck off, it's none of their business.
I feel no guilt, I want to enjoy what I have and am in the position to so without any worry. Why others feel the need to question it I have no idea."
'..been politely told to fuck off..'
I must remember that useful oxymoron! |
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I used to really struggle to spend money on myself without agonising over whether it was justified or not. It would take me months to decide to buy a new coat, for example, even though my old one was falling apart.
I knocked that crap on the head when I realised I was turning into my mother whose existence is so joyless and miserly that she doesn't use any heating in winter, reads by candlelight on dark evenings, and purses her lips disapprovingly whenever someone chooses to buy something she deems unnecessary, which is everything. |
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"I've had people question my spending and they've been politely told to fuck off, it's none of their business.
I feel no guilt, I want to enjoy what I have and am in the position to so without any worry. Why others feel the need to question it I have no idea.
'..been politely told to fuck off..'
I must remember that useful oxymoron!"
You do that  |
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