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By *haiababe OP Woman 35 weeks ago
North devon |
So when I girl says she enjoys being talked dirty too, does all guys assume thay she means she wants to be called a bitch/slut/where or does anyone also else thinks it alsononcluded guys telling a girl what they would like to do to them, or would like to have done to them.
Not saying the slut/bitch/where thing has no place and within the correct context I have no problems with it.
Boy male and female opinions welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"If I’ve learned one thing in life it’s to assume nothing.
Ask always and if consent is not given don’t do it  "
This.
If you’re someone into this a blanket ‘I like dirty talk’ leaves it very wide open for interpretation. Best to give examples, specify what dirty talk is to you, what you dislike, etc.
In my experience no two people think of dirty talk as the same thing. |
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"If I’ve learned one thing in life it’s to assume nothing.
Ask always and if consent is not given don’t do it
This.
If you’re someone into this a blanket ‘I like dirty talk’ leaves it very wide open for interpretation. Best to give examples, specify what dirty talk is to you, what you dislike, etc.
In my experience no two people think of dirty talk as the same thing. "
This
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By *haiababe OP Woman 34 weeks ago
North devon |
"If I’ve learned one thing in life it’s to assume nothing.
Ask always and if consent is not given don’t do it
This.
If you’re someone into this a blanket ‘I like dirty talk’ leaves it very wide open for interpretation. Best to give examples, specify what dirty talk is to you, what you dislike, etc.
In my experience no two people think of dirty talk as the same thing. "
I do get that, and because inlike a nit of both I don't like to specifically tell someone how they are to talk to be because in building a connection with someone I want them to answer as themselves.
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"If I’ve learned one thing in life it’s to assume nothing.
Ask always and if consent is not given don’t do it
This.
If you’re someone into this a blanket ‘I like dirty talk’ leaves it very wide open for interpretation. Best to give examples, specify what dirty talk is to you, what you dislike, etc.
In my experience no two people think of dirty talk as the same thing.
I do get that, and because inlike a nit of both I don't like to specifically tell someone how they are to talk to be because in building a connection with someone I want them to answer as themselves.
"
This is true. But you can set out your likes and dislikes. Including hard nos |
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"So when I girl says she enjoys being talked dirty too, does all guys assume thay she means she wants to be called a bitch/slut/where or does anyone also else thinks it alsononcluded guys telling a girl what they would like to do to them, or would like to have done to them.
Not saying the slut/bitch/where thing has no place and within the correct context I have no problems with it.
Boy male and female opinions welcome"
Can’t say name calling would be my first go too as that’s more humiliation/ degrading type verbal play. As long as it wasn’t in the middle of things and they’d never asked before I want to find out a little more about what they like to hear and how they like to hear it. Whispered into their ear, loudly while have sex etc. If out of the blue during where a bit of Q&A isn’t an option then probably like most I’d probably freeze up a bit and awkwardly say “like what?” As they’ve caught me off guard where I neither know what they like to hear and also because my mind was on other things that are going on lol. So for me personally I’d never assume but if your putting someone on the spot in the moment that doesn’t know what you like to hear then you get what get because all they can do is either ask and break the moment or say what ever default thing pops into their head. It’s the difference between looking for to much from a hook up to being able to enjoy and explore more things that you both really enjoy because your more sexual in tune with each other because you’ve got to know what each other likes from having more sexual experience together. Unless you get lucky and by chance, you can hat they say just so happens to be what you like lol. Everyone is different so I’d be put off jumping in blindly for me personally. What terminology to use that turns them on and what ones are an instant no, no? Do they want me to describe what I’m going to do, what I’m currently doing or been thinking about doing to them? Name calling or teasing? It’s a lot to put on someone if it’s out of the blue during sex and they have know idea what you like to here as there so many different things that could mean and so many pitfalls. However having that conversation before hand on what you type of things you like hearing, words that are a turn on or ok to use to those that aren’t and then a bit time to think about what they can say will get far better results and closer to what your after x |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"
I do get that, and because inlike a nit of both I don't like to specifically tell someone how they are to talk to be because in building a connection with someone I want them to answer as themselves.
"
That makes sense. It would be a joy kill to have someone be some what of a parrot repeating back what you’ve asked them to. Think if it as defining lines of your Luke’s/dislikes instead of prescribing what should be said specifically. An outline rather than the entire story if you will. |
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"If I’ve learned one thing in life it’s to assume nothing.
Ask always and if consent is not given don’t do it
This.
If you’re someone into this a blanket ‘I like dirty talk’ leaves it very wide open for interpretation. Best to give examples, specify what dirty talk is to you, what you dislike, etc.
In my experience no two people think of dirty talk as the same thing.
I do get that, and because inlike a nit of both I don't like to specifically tell someone how they are to talk to be because in building a connection with someone I want them to answer as themselves.
This is true. But you can set out your likes and dislikes. Including hard nos "
Yeah exactly, they’ll still answer as themselves and part of them as a person will come through in what they say as long as they are comfortable and not trying to emulate being something they’re not, like someone in a porno. You have to build that connection first and get comfortable with each other otherwise your expecting to much from them.
When they don’t have those pre set out likes and dislikes to work with they’ll naturally become unsure, uncomfortable and withdraw from being them as a person and instead try to emulate how they think they should respond instead of how they as person would respond if relaxed and comfortable putting themselves out there and risk embarrassing themselves with you.
You can’t expect people to guess what you want you have to be confident enough to tell them what you want, they can’t and shouldn’t be expected to do that for you. Your asking them to do something that could easily blow up in their face, leave them feeling embarrassed and ashamed if they say something wrong. The least anyone can do is also put themselves out there and risk embarrassment by saying what they desire. Which again is much easier to do with someone you have built a connection with and know you can trust to be open with specific kinks etc. Have you ever been asked on the spot OP to talk dirty to someone you didn’t know and if so how did you feel trying it for the first time with a stranger? How well did it go? I’m just thinking if you don’t want to wait until there a connection you could talk dirty to them first before asking them so they know, without specifying what vernacular to use and what things to talk about? x |
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Id whisper in her ear that she’s very naughty and will get a proper telling off…. Next thing im soaked with ladyjuices because Ive gone too far and made her climax for a full 45 minutes… i guess I just have the gift for dirty talk |
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By *haiababe OP Woman 34 weeks ago
North devon |
"
I do get that, and because inlike a nit of both I don't like to specifically tell someone how they are to talk to be because in building a connection with someone I want them to answer as themselves.
That makes sense. It would be a joy kill to have someone be some what of a parrot repeating back what you’ve asked them to. Think if it as defining lines of your Luke’s/dislikes instead of prescribing what should be said specifically. An outline rather than the entire story if you will. "
Yes I want it to become natural. And as I like to build connections with guys I sleep with finding what fits within our connection. I talk to one guy and he won't use the word bitch and I'm his naughty girl and it's great. but there is also another who will call me a slut while we're fucking and I love it cos it fits within the context of our relationship.
I guess it's a balance cos you want someone to be themselves but you also want them being themselves to be something that turns you on. |
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