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Judging a book
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So my question is????
Do we all judge the proverbial book by its cover?? In other words have you seen or read a comment from a thread contributor and wrote them off? Do we take face value and initial impressions or do we take the time to get to know them |
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If the cover of their book smacks of 'racialistic' undertones, misandry, misogyny and mocking those with disabilities or mental health issues then I'm happy to write them off from the onset.
I don't need to flick through their proverbial pages to give them a second chance. |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
"
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I tend to be judgemental reading profiles and rule them out for different reasons.
Some women i look at and find them gorgeous so i just think they are way out of my league and move on.
Same with the guys of course.
Some profiles read a bit aggressive or unfriendly so i just move on as i dont want any dramas.
Then theres the 'distance' and 'age' elements which are outside my own capablities.
That said, i enjoy chatting to or meeting new people just to make friends or at best be sociable.
I suppose we all have personal bias which rules people in and out which correlates to judging a book by its cover. |
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"If the cover of their book smacks of 'racialistic' undertones, misandry, misogyny and mocking those with disabilities or mental health issues then I'm happy to write them off from the onset.
I don't need to flick through their proverbial pages to give them a second chance."
Please forgive me if I have taken this as directed at me if it was not, but do I come across as (racialistic' undertones, misandry, misogyny and mocking those with disabilities or mental health issues) Im cringing at the idea that I do |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact"
It really doesn’t make it harder for you to interact OP. But words are important. Even on the interweb  |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact"
cliques |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interactcliques"
Again? So soon?  |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact
cliques"
Someone will come along soon and respond in the negative, which to me reinforces the concept |
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"Yes, it's human nature.
I can tell by comments especially on the forums who we wouldn't be compatible with & who I would and wouldn't like to get to know.
Mrs "
This is a variation of what I’m trying to say, and I can fully understand why people would think this way, im honestly trying to use this as a learning curve into helping myself better my connectivity with others, but on the flip side i also want people to see the my true colours if that is perceived in a bad light then that as you say shows our incompatibility |
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By *lder.Woman 35 weeks ago
Not Local |
You have to people watch for a long time on here to get a fully rounded view (as much as an internet forum allows) of a person. Some people can be pretty much straight in the dustbin but others you have to keep an eye on.  |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact
Cliques "
That’s an outrageous accusation, how dare you |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact
Cliques
That’s an outrageous accusation, how dare you "
 |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact"
I wouldn't take it to heart OP. Fab is basically just Mumsnet with more nudes |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact"
Just do your own thing, and don't worry about people having pals on the forums....that's life it happens...
What you'll find is....all are welcome not all are included, that is forum life for ya.....
Mr |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact
Just do your own thing, and don't worry about people having pals on the forums....that's life it happens...
What you'll find is....all are welcome not all are included, that is forum life for ya.....
Mr "
That is the absolute definition of what I was thinking (What you'll find is....all are welcome not all are included, that is forum life for ya)
Thank you for the advice pal |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact
Just do your own thing, and don't worry about people having pals on the forums....that's life it happens...
What you'll find is....all are welcome not all are included, that is forum life for ya.....
Mr
That is the absolute definition of what I was thinking (What you'll find is....all are welcome not all are included, that is forum life for ya)
Thank you for the advice pal "
Just do your thing no fucks given.....
Mr |
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"If the cover of their book smacks of 'racialistic' undertones, misandry, misogyny and mocking those with disabilities or mental health issues then I'm happy to write them off from the onset.
I don't need to flick through their proverbial pages to give them a second chance.
·
Please forgive me if I have taken this as directed at me if it was not, but do I come across as (racialistic' undertones, misandry, misogyny and mocking those with disabilities or mental health issues) Im cringing at the idea that I do "
•
It's not directed at you (I'm not quite sure why you even think that). I'm simply answering your thread/question in a general fashion.   |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I haven't got the time to get to know everyone.
One comment? I probably wouldn't write someone off. Several dickhead comments, yeah you're probably a dickhead. |
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One comment? Probably not. Although there are some notable exceptions.
But I think you quickly build a good sense of someone after a few posts, and I know if I'll get on with someone or not, without needing to meet them to prove it! |
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"Yes, it's human nature.
I can tell by comments especially on the forums who we wouldn't be compatible with & who I would and wouldn't like to get to know.
Mrs
This is a variation of what I’m trying to say, and I can fully understand why people would think this way, im honestly trying to use this as a learning curve into helping myself better my connectivity with others, but on the flip side i also want people to see the my true colours if that is perceived in a bad light then that as you say shows our incompatibility "
Exactly just be yourself not everyone is going to like you and that's ok.
I don't give two hoots what some random internet strangers think of me, the ones we want to meet are ones we've come to know & are compatible with the others - well they don't affect my life so I have no interest if they like me or not.
Mrs |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact"
Why does it make it harder? Everyone was new once - just get stuck in. Some people will like you, some won't. Just like real life. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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It would depend on what that comment was, but generally, no. People are allowed to have off days.
You can usually tell quite quickly the people you know you’ll get on with and the ones you won’t. I don’t dislike them, we just don’t share the same views or have similar personalities. |
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"Ah but do you ever go straight to the last page?"
ooh i do sometimes, depends on the book and how captivating it is - sometimes i go to see if its worth the slog to keep reading, sometimes i go because i want to know if the people are worth investing in and not going to die  |
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"Ah but do you ever go straight to the last page?
ooh i do sometimes, depends on the book and how captivating it is - sometimes i go to see if its worth the slog to keep reading, sometimes i go because i want to know if the people are worth investing in and not going to die "
I like the way you think, you need to read a few pages to really understand what the book is about |
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"Depends. Some do, some don't
I find on Fab if someone doesn't like you then neither will their cronies.
I never realised before today how true this is, majority of the people in these threads are pals with each other or at least have some sort of repertoire with each other, and I genuinely think that makes it a lot harder for the likes of me to interact"
I would guess that the majority of people who post on here, even the regulars, get ignored most of the time. Just be you and the ones who like that will look beyond the cover and the ones who don’t, won’t. |
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I never judge the cover of a book by the way it looks. I've seen the trailer park boys episode and learned my lessons.
I don't think I would write anyone off without getting to know them. If they'd said some things disagreed with then that would be tackled during that process. If it never happens well, it is inconsequential. There are lots of people out there who think differently to me - hardly something to write home about.
I mean just because I am right doesn't mean everyone has to agree with me. |
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"I never judge the cover of a book by the way it looks. I've seen the trailer park boys episode and learned my lessons.
I don't think I would write anyone off without getting to know them. If they'd said some things disagreed with then that would be tackled during that process. If it never happens well, it is inconsequential. There are lots of people out there who think differently to me - hardly something to write home about.
I mean just because I am right doesn't mean everyone has to agree with me."
I agree. It’s not human nature at all, something developed in the first year of life by what you perceived as a friendly face doesn’t apply to adults on social media. It’s quite dangerous and counter to a diversity mindset to believe it does
Every book has a unique story inside. |
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