FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If your daughter....
If your daughter....
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Wow .. was it a boy or girl who said it ... the sensible mum would rant at school about teaching respect blah blah
The mother bear in me would want to rip the little fuckers head off and tear a new arsehole out of its parents.
The feminist in me would teach my daughter to sucker punch or bitch slap the tw*t |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
not nice to hear that, from the school side of things he should be made to apologise, get a thousand lines, "I must not call people nasty words anymore" and have his playtimes taken away for a week. But as a dad I would want to have some serious 'words' with the parents of said person who hasn't been brought up very well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd want more information, does he truly understand what the word means? Where did he even learn that? Punishment could range from education, to bitchslapping the parents
Deffo contact the School, completely unacceptable and you are right to be angry. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Contact the school.
I’d probably go one step further and contact the parents myself if I knew who they were. That’s an awful thing to say and a word that shouldn’t even be in his vocabulary at that age! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’d ring the school and ask them to deal with it, discuss and agree a specific timeline and outcome, whether that’s an apology, sanction, mediated discussion with the perpetrators parents or whatever. If it wasn’t met and upheld I’d then go to the governors.
Human nature to want to go all ‘overbearing parent’ and respond emotionally. But kids need to be educated on uses of sexualised language, and how to respect boundaries. Things they won’t learn by an adult wading in to the rescue every time someone uses a bad word.
At that age, it’s unlikely (although not impossible), to be genuinely mysoginistoc. More likely to be ignorance, and could have been picked up from anywhere, not just their parents.
That’s coming from experience in inclusions in the education sector, and raising my own teenage boys to be respectful and polite young men, who are able to fight their own battles intellectually. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The OP doesn’t say what gender the other child was but it’s interesting that quite a proportion of respondents have assumed it was a boy, it may well have been, but we weren’t actually given that information. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd tell my daughter that in her lifetime she's going to be called many names by all kinds of people, and to take no notice, but, if they keep harassing her to tell me and I'll talk to her teacher about bullying on school premises.
Sticks and stones.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It was a boy.
I don't believe he knew the meaning of the word, although he had already called her a dickhead before he called her a slut. And teased her about her physical appearance.
I don't know the parents to speak to them directly.
There as a now rather old video available on you tube, called Dear Daddy. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a view. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This is what I'm dreading if this was ever to happen to my daughter because I know the sensible thing to do is first speak to the school, thing is she's my whole world so I know I would skip the sensible option and find out who the parents are and go straight to them.
I'm so sorry to hear that's happened to your daughter and in primary school of all places. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
School is vicious.
Teach my child how to look after their selves, mentally and physically.
I look back at the names I was called and threw around myself. Slut? That’s standard taunting. And yes, in primary school, slag was the go to when hearing girl’s arguments.
Homophobic slurs was what the lads use to pull out in a fight.
*i’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying if this didn’t happen to you when you were young, you must have been lucky. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.
She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.
I don't agree that as a girl she'd better get used to it. She needs to understand it's her right to challenge anybody using derogatory words and behaviour towards her.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd tell my daughter that in her lifetime she's going to be called many names by all kinds of people, and to take no notice, but, if they keep harassing her to tell me and I'll talk to her teacher about bullying on school premises.
Sticks and stones.
"
This 
I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.
I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
100% agree with your actions. There is no excuse to be called that, regardless of whether he knew what it meant. Harsh lesson for her but you are a great mum if she understands she needs to rise above idiots at school, it will only stand her in good stead for life x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"I'd tell my daughter that in her lifetime she's going to be called many names by all kinds of people, and to take no notice, but, if they keep harassing her to tell me and I'll talk to her teacher about bullying on school premises.
Sticks and stones.
This
I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.
I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond."
It is partly the schools job though. If it happened in school they should be the ones talking to the boy. If they don't then they aren't a good school.
Then it would be down to me to talk to my daughter about how boys are immature dicks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My views are that, name calling yes it’s wrong but what harm has it caused? Nothing, if your child is upset by being called names STOP tell her it’s just a “word” it cant hurt you, unless you let it
We should stop being so sensitive in this country stop always playing the victim, brush it off and move on
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.
I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond."
I do teach my children how to behave appropriately, but unfortunately not all parents do. And when faced with such unpleasantness, I advise them how to respond without meeting that person on their level.
I think it is something of which the school should be aware, because if some children are not getting the moral guidance at home, it needs to come from somewhere. There does seem to be a wider problem, as I overheard a conversation about 69s, one child saying they knew what it was.
As a rights respecting school, there is regular input around healthy relationships and how best to treat others, so the school can address it under that umbrella and not single out any individuals. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.
I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond.
I do teach my children how to behave appropriately, but unfortunately not all parents do. And when faced with such unpleasantness, I advise them how to respond without meeting that person on their level.
I think it is something of which the school should be aware, because if some children are not getting the moral guidance at home, it needs to come from somewhere. There does seem to be a wider problem, as I overheard a conversation about 69s, one child saying they knew what it was.
As a rights respecting school, there is regular input around healthy relationships and how best to treat others, so the school can address it under that umbrella and not single out any individuals. "
I agree - I didn’t meant to suggest it was solely on the parents and Coyote is right in that it is a balance. I was simply pushing back on the fact everyone was saying it is on the school. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to her.
I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next."
I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I agree - I didn’t meant to suggest it was solely on the parents and Coyote is right in that it is a balance. I was simply pushing back on the fact everyone was saying it is on the school. "
Absolutely, it should start at home, and the school reinforce appropriate behaviour and language, but for those children who come from homes where that language is used, the staff at the schools become the appropriate role models.
Another poster asked what harm was done. She knew it was a bad word, but doesn't know it's meaning. She was upset, because he had called her other names already. The harm is if that boy isn't challenged and pulled up on his language, he's going to think that it's ok to say that, and worse, and so misogyny and male privilege perpetuates.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to her.
I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.
I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly."
Exactly !
But seriously you have chosen the best school you can find, with great values and leadership.
It’s the UK ? Even the best run schools are gonna have that culture leaking in. Feedback at senior leadership level is the best way to get change |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd speak to the school, the child probably didn't know what the insult even ment that's not excusing it, someone needs to sit them down and explain it's not acceptable and how it can hurt someone's feelings - I'm sure the school would approach the parents with this complaint too if you don't have the details.
If nothing changes I'd personally follow him home and speak to the parents myself, maybe tripping the fucker up on the way.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Talk to her.
I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.
I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly.
Exactly !
But seriously you have chosen the best school you can find, with great values and leadership.
It’s the UK ? Even the best run schools are gonna have that culture leaking in. Feedback at senior leadership level is the best way to get change "
I wouldn't go to the chair of governors, in my experience they aren't the best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to her.
I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.
I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly.
Exactly !
But seriously you have chosen the best school you can find, with great values and leadership.
It’s the UK ? Even the best run schools are gonna have that culture leaking in. Feedback at senior leadership level is the best way to get change
I wouldn't go to the chair of governors, in my experience they aren't the best. "
Either a strong head or a strong chair - usually. It’s useful to know them both |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ha e any of you actually heard the way kid's speak to each other and everyone else these days??
It's hardly surprising that the term slut is bandied about, this place is a good example of the use of the word with many using it in usernames.
In the vanilla world you can buy t-shirts and underwear with it on, the term has been softened massively by todays society.
Seriously what's going to happen with the person who has said it?
Nothing that's what, discipline in schools is practically non existent and teachers aren't allowed to single kids out.
Parents who don't think their kids use such words really need to educate yourself.
It's not right,I'm a strict parent and rules and respect have always been at the forefront of bringing up our children and grandchildren but I'm also a realist and believe that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
The context of the insult needs to be investigated tho is it part of a bigger picture of bullying or was it a situation of tit for tat?
I'd say talk to daughter get her honest opinion ask if there's more to it then monitor for possible escalation.
Going to the school and creating a fuss may make daughter more of a target, however that said the parents of the child maybe unaware and mortified to hear that their child said this but generally speaking kid's are mean and cruel to each other they always have been and always will be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Complain to the school, ask them how they are going to address this across the entire school as there’s clearly a problem with a misogynistic culture amongst students "
How triggered are you? Might of been girl to girl. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a step son who always misses vital parts of what happened and the reasons that led to whatever encounter happened, I'm not saying it's right whatsoever but there is a difference from messing about in a conversation and everyone hurling insults to a person just strolling on up and going "you're a slut". Id need more information before I went savage at the school x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I had a conversation with a teacher recently in a secondary school after witnessing their work day constantly dealing with bad behaviour and issues by 3pm he looked like he'd just finished a 48hr shift non stop.
I asked him he was saying it's like playing "whack-a-mole" as soon as you have dealt with one situation another pops up immediately, teachers spend more time dealing with issues than teaching now.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have a step son who always misses vital parts of what happened and the reasons that led to whatever encounter happened, I'm not saying it's right whatsoever but there is a difference from messing about in a conversation and everyone hurling insults to a person just strolling on up and going "you're a slut". Id need more information before I went savage at the school x"
Absolutely 100% agree.
Common sense is required and as I said further up are we sure it's not tit for tat.
Kid's are mean |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have a step son who always misses vital parts of what happened and the reasons that led to whatever encounter happened, I'm not saying it's right whatsoever but there is a difference from messing about in a conversation and everyone hurling insults to a person just strolling on up and going "you're a slut". Id need more information before I went savage at the school x
Absolutely 100% agree.
Common sense is required and as I said further up are we sure it's not tit for tat.
Kid's are mean "
It was not tit for tat. She asked why he was being mean to her and could they be friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.
She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.
I don't agree that as a girl she'd better get used to it. She needs to understand it's her right to challenge anybody using derogatory words and behaviour towards her.
"
I did write a reply but then I read this ...... WTG mum x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
i would cover it with my child that they were/are ok and that they had heard it correctly. Then i would be onto the school for a discussion about the language being used by this particular child. makes you wonder on the language being used at home if they are happily banding this around at this age.
Kids are horrible - they use words they hear regularly, learnt behaviour and unfortunately there aint not parenting guide books!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In my opinion, the best defence against insults is to refuse to be offended by them... I know it's sometimes difficult, but not reacting takes away any feeling of power they might feel by insulting you.
I've always taken the view that the only people who's opinions of me that matter are my own and those I love.
These types incidents should certainly be reported to the school, and parents should insist on being informed on actions taken.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
does your daughter understand what it was that was said about her when he called her it? He is probably just repeating something he's heard which doesn't make it any better & I'd be fuming if my lil girl was called it but context is important |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"does your daughter understand what it was that was said about her when he called her it? He is probably just repeating something he's heard which doesn't make it any better & I'd be fuming if my lil girl was called it but context is important"
She knows it's a swear word,but not its meaning. I don't believe he knows the meaning either, but he's heard it used and repeated it. He needs to understand it's not appropriate language, which is why I've spoken to staff at the school. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"does your daughter understand what it was that was said about her when he called her it? He is probably just repeating something he's heard which doesn't make it any better & I'd be fuming if my lil girl was called it but context is important
She knows it's a swear word,but not its meaning. I don't believe he knows the meaning either, but he's heard it used and repeated it. He needs to understand it's not appropriate language, which is why I've spoken to staff at the school."
An incident happened with our son who came home with certain symbols drawn on him that represented his/our ethnic background. I don't believe the boys who did it fully understood the implications of them and the history connected to them. I asked the school to address it because I thought they needed to know and they would treat it as a learning experience rather than a telling off. We also wanted our son to know that it wasn't acceptable but that sometimes it's lack of knowledge rather than anything else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.
She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.
"
He said a word he didn’t know the meaning of. She said a word she didn’t knew the meaning of.
The issue here is that children are mirroring what they see in the rest of their lives - the fact that both children used words they shouldn’t have means that they both have been exposed to them at some point. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.
She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.
He said a word he didn’t know the meaning of. She said a word she didn’t knew the meaning of.
The issue here is that children are mirroring what they see in the rest of their lives - the fact that both children used words they shouldn’t have means that they both have been exposed to them at some point."
I agree, she has been exposed to swear words, but not in my house. I try to set a good example for her, and I have explained to her that it's not acceptable to use words that she doesn't understand and words that she knows are swear words.
I can't stop her hearing these words outside my home, but I can pro-socially role model and educate her around what is appropriate language and behaviour. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.
She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.
I don't agree that as a girl she'd better get used to it. She needs to understand it's her right to challenge anybody using derogatory words and behaviour towards her.
"
You sound like a great parent. Very well handled! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.
She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.
He said a word he didn’t know the meaning of. She said a word she didn’t knew the meaning of.
The issue here is that children are mirroring what they see in the rest of their lives - the fact that both children used words they shouldn’t have means that they both have been exposed to them at some point.
I agree, she has been exposed to swear words, but not in my house. I try to set a good example for her, and I have explained to her that it's not acceptable to use words that she doesn't understand and words that she knows are swear words.
I can't stop her hearing these words outside my home, but I can pro-socially role model and educate her around what is appropriate language and behaviour. "
What age will you teach them the swear words ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "
I’d advise her strongly that it’s only words and he’s a cunt however if it was really upsetting her and disturbing her sanity is highly suggest a strong throat punch at a very hard and direct kick between his legs  FAFO |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 37 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings."
This is the way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
This is the way "
Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?
Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
This is the way
Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?
Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you."
In response to MY original comment I’d first advise ignoring the twat but failing that and if it affected my daughters wellbeing then fuck yeah I’d advocate violence every time.
Some people do not respond or stop with words alone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings."
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
This is the way
Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?
Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.
In response to MY original comment I’d first advise ignoring the twat but failing that and if it affected my daughters wellbeing then fuck yeah I’d advocate violence every time.
Some people do not respond or stop with words alone "
So is that your considered opinion everytime your daughter gets upset?
In later life, a boyfriend tells her he has found someone else and wants to move on. She is in tears. Answer is go smash his face in?
Her boss criticises her work and upsets her. Answer is put them in hospital?
We are talking about a _playground_ spat between _primary_ school kids - _both_ of whom used words that_neither_ of them understood. If you are genuinely telling children the correct response is to lash out when you are upset then I am lost for words. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings."
Did you also teach her that violence doesn't solve most issues? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I got called a lot more things than that when i was at school and out of school even got jumped by 10 a group of about 10 guys about the age of 21 when i was 17 coming out of a local gig for no reason at all the cowards bet they wouldn't try it now things were different then but sometimes you have to stand up in whatever way you see fit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
This is the way
Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?
Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.
In response to MY original comment I’d first advise ignoring the twat but failing that and if it affected my daughters wellbeing then fuck yeah I’d advocate violence every time.
Some people do not respond or stop with words alone
So is that your considered opinion everytime your daughter gets upset?
In later life, a boyfriend tells her he has found someone else and wants to move on. She is in tears. Answer is go smash his face in?
Her boss criticises her work and upsets her. Answer is put them in hospital?
We are talking about a _playground_ spat between _primary_ school kids - _both_ of whom used words that_neither_ of them understood. If you are genuinely telling children the correct response is to lash out when you are upset then I am lost for words."
Did I say upset? I said affects my daughters well being 
I teach all of my kids, boys and girls, that life isn’t easy and emotions are natural and expected but I draw the line, regardless of age, at any form of bullying and although just a playground spat this child who’s saying very unpleasant things will not change in the future due to the fact that such words and behaviours are taught and often encouraged.
Words can not hurt anyone, even from keyboard warriors, however some individuals need a life check to ensure such behaviour is hopefully stopped early rather than later. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have two daughters of similar and slightly older ages, so resisting the urge to rectify the situation myself, you would be advised to push the school for their policy on such poor behaviour. Failing the school act, I'd be tempted to contact the parents and let them know. You will probably find the parents to be of a similar vocal stand point of their child. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 37 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
This is the way
Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?
Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you."
At what point did I say I would expect my daughter to use physical violence? I said I have taught her enough to take care of business herself. If stepping on a mat doesn't phase her, do you think words do? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 37 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
Did you also teach her that violence doesn't solve most issues?"
I instilled confidence in her and taught her balance, coordination, technique, how to stand up for herself and others, to be kind and fair, but to take no shit from people. If someone brings violence, to return it if there is no other option.
Next question. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 37 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go "
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ooBulMan 37 weeks ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Woosh the little bastard with a bucket of water in front of their mates wearing a wig & sun glasses. You technically didn't lay a finger on them.
Failing that tell her to go full Machiavellian & spread false rumours about the perpetrator.....
Two can play at that game!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "
Have a word with the culprits parents about the error of their little darlings ways
Inform the teacher and ask for an update by a set date on exactly how it’s been dealt with.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Be disappointed that this type of language has found its way into the vocabulary of a 10 year old and then look to speak with the school and ensure education is provided!!
And then name and shame the child’s parents on Facebook (i don’t have it) and start the nasty rumours that it’s them that are the sluts….yes….im a vindictive shithead!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself."
You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.
This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 37 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.
You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.
This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge. "
So you think teaching kids martial arts automatically turns them into violent thugs, and doesn't also instil confidence and give them a range of possibilities to stand up for themselves, with self defence at one end of the spectrum?
OK bub |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.
You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.
This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge. "
Butting in, because I can 
But it says “taking care of herself” so your assumption that this means violent action is a mis read on your behalf because taking care of herself could actually mean using her vocabulary to shame and upset the perpetrator 
However if the perp at 10 years old is using words like stated to upset someone I’m confident that words aimed at them would lead to embarrassment making the perp violent at which point this gentleman’s daughter would hurt the cunt like never before and rightly so
I experienced such bastards of both genders when growing up and it wasn’t pleasant however one day I found out I was stronger than I believed in myself and never suffered from that day 
Violence doesn’t solve everything but it sure helps  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself."
Take care of it herself if she's getting verbal abuse slung her way? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My eldest came back from school at the same age, being called a pussy by another kid. I asked him if he knew what it meant. Turned out neither him nor the kid calling him it actually knew. Told him that him and the other child came out of a pussy, and if that was an insult the bully needed to try harder. Handed power back to him over the bully who was left red faced.
Kids know all the bad language at young ages, they may not know what it actually means but they know them. I think it's pretty naive to think they don't. My kids are allowed to ask me what these words mean without getting themselves in trouble. And then they're explained in an age appropriate manner.
You can't control other people's kids or people full stop. I'd have words with your child and explain what is and is not appropriate language. And why language can be so hateful.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
This is the way
Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?
Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.
At what point did I say I would expect my daughter to use physical violence? I said I have taught her enough to take care of business herself. If stepping on a mat doesn't phase her, do you think words do? "
I like the Moonwalk |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My eldest came back from school at the same age, being called a pussy by another kid. I asked him if he knew what it meant. Turned out neither him nor the kid calling him it actually knew. Told him that him and the other child came out of a pussy, and if that was an insult the bully needed to try harder. Handed power back to him over the bully who was left red faced.
Kids know all the bad language at young ages, they may not know what it actually means but they know them. I think it's pretty naive to think they don't. My kids are allowed to ask me what these words mean without getting themselves in trouble. And then they're explained in an age appropriate manner.
You can't control other people's kids or people full stop. I'd have words with your child and explain what is and is not appropriate language. And why language can be so hateful.
"
It means cat.......  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My eldest came back from school at the same age, being called a pussy by another kid. I asked him if he knew what it meant. Turned out neither him nor the kid calling him it actually knew. Told him that him and the other child came out of a pussy, and if that was an insult the bully needed to try harder. Handed power back to him over the bully who was left red faced.
Kids know all the bad language at young ages, they may not know what it actually means but they know them. I think it's pretty naive to think they don't. My kids are allowed to ask me what these words mean without getting themselves in trouble. And then they're explained in an age appropriate manner.
You can't control other people's kids or people full stop. I'd have words with your child and explain what is and is not appropriate language. And why language can be so hateful.
It means cat....... "
I started with that, but he knew it meant something else too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.
You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.
This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.
Butting in, because I can
But it says “taking care of herself” so your assumption that this means violent action is a mis read on your behalf because taking care of herself could actually mean using her vocabulary to shame and upset the perpetrator
However if the perp at 10 years old is using words like stated to upset someone I’m confident that words aimed at them would lead to embarrassment making the perp violent at which point this gentleman’s daughter would hurt the cunt like never before and rightly so
I experienced such bastards of both genders when growing up and it wasn’t pleasant however one day I found out I was stronger than I believed in myself and never suffered from that day
Violence doesn’t solve everything but it sure helps "
Butting in cos I can
Perhaps you want to re read it yourself, it quite clearly says taking care of “ business “, not taking care of herself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Be disappointed that this type of language has found its way into the vocabulary of a 10 year old and then look to speak with the school and ensure education is provided!!
"
Has nobody noticed that the age of innocence has been over for some time now. You can't have mass media and gadgets for all and expect children not to learn things which used to be way out of their range of experience in previous decades.
The damage has been done forever. Aided and abbetted by the type of dozy feckless parents who a perceptive friend, formerly from another culture, refers to as 'Fuck alls'! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "
Talk to her teacher and ask them to get the other teacher so the three of you can discuss issue and that you’d like their teacher to have a word with them. I’m a little fuzzy on what year kids start secondary school but if they’re at primary school they probably don’t realise the seriousness of what they’re saying and acting out how they’ve seen an older person behave x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "
Way too many people on this post have assumed it was a male, without knowing that from the OP's statement, shame on you all  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
Talk to her teacher and ask them to get the other teacher so the three of you can discuss issue and that you’d like their teacher to have a word with them. I’m a little fuzzy on what year kids start secondary school but if they’re at primary school they probably don’t realise the seriousness of what they’re saying and acting out how they’ve seen an older person behave x"
Sorry I’ll try writing that again as I missed a lot of words out lol:
Talk to her teacher and ask them to get the other students teacher so the three of you can discuss the issue and say you’d like their teacher to have a word with them (I’m assuming they’re not in the same class). I’m a little fuzzy on what year kids start secondary school but if they’re at primary school they probably don’t realise the seriousness of what they’re saying and acting out how they’ve seen an older person behave x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
Way too many people on this post have assumed it was a male, without knowing that from the OP's statement, shame on you all "
It was confirmed in a later post that it was a boy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irthandgirthMan 36 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?
I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.
And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go
I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..
And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.
You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.
This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.
Butting in, because I can
But it says “taking care of herself” so your assumption that this means violent action is a mis read on your behalf because taking care of herself could actually mean using her vocabulary to shame and upset the perpetrator
However if the perp at 10 years old is using words like stated to upset someone I’m confident that words aimed at them would lead to embarrassment making the perp violent at which point this gentleman’s daughter would hurt the cunt like never before and rightly so
I experienced such bastards of both genders when growing up and it wasn’t pleasant however one day I found out I was stronger than I believed in myself and never suffered from that day
Violence doesn’t solve everything but it sure helps "
Speaking from a position of first hand experience, I had a student several years ago. 9 years old, with some physical and cognitive limitations. He managed to curtail 2 bullies who had been mercilessly picking on him for a couple of years, in a situation where he felt threatened. Did he kick the shit out of them? No. Was he attacked first? No. Did he apply some effective technique that put a stop to the bullying and without injuring either of the bullies? Yes. Was I proud? Absolutely. Was his dad proud? Couldn't be prouder. Do I still have the letter commending my training, 20 years later? Yes.
Will I debate people who don't know the difference between being physically capable and violent? Nope. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Be disappointed that this type of language has found its way into the vocabulary of a 10 year old and then look to speak with the school and ensure education is provided!!
Has nobody noticed that the age of innocence has been over for some time now. You can't have mass media and gadgets for all and expect children not to learn things which used to be way out of their range of experience in previous decades.
The damage has been done forever. Aided and abbetted by the type of dozy feckless parents who a perceptive friend, formerly from another culture, refers to as 'Fuck alls'!"
You're looking at life through rose tinted glasses. I was pinned down in the final year of primary school by a gang of girls and boys to see if my cuffs and collars matched. And that was back in the dark ages. People really need to stop pretending things were so much different decades ago. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My daughter is around that age and has been bought up to not take any shit from anyone, so if that did happen, I'd probably be up the school being asked about why she'd beaten 7 shades of shit out of whoever said it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My daughter is around that age and has been bought up to not take any shit from anyone, so if that did happen, I'd probably be up the school being asked about why she'd beaten 7 shades of shit out of whoever said it! "
Well you've taught her well for the big world , someone upsets her ,straight to violence, well done you .
I've taught my boys to ignore any knobheads ,sticks and stones and all that . It's served them well . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
