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I'm not a swinger...
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I'm not a swinger. I'm here for the platonic connections, the socials, the escapism that presents itself by way of 'non-committal' dating/relationships, flirting...and then the 'enhanced vanilla' sex.
I'm here for the sex, without the theatrics associated with swinging or kink or BDSM or whatever. |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"I’m guessing to be a swinger you have to swing
As I can’t get a meet I guess I’m not a swinger lol"
I'll ignore the language choice. 
Do you think you have to be actively fucking to identify as something? I think it's more a mindset. |
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No I don't think we are swingers not really - we've never couple swapped because.... Men - urgh, they smell.
No in all seriousness I find it difficult to be attracted to men then I overthink it and put myself off.
We've only ever had meets with women so I don't think we fall under the "swingers" umbrella, I'm not sure really - either way it's not a lifestyle for us it's a bit of fun & at the moment we aren't meeting so we are just those annoying people here that don't meet
Maybe one day I'll find my mojo again and want all the boobs but right now I'm just here for the forums & keep up with those we've made friends with.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I'm not a swinger, I'm single. There doesn't seem to be anywhere else with like minded people just looking for a connection. So I find myself coming back.
No problem with swingers but I don't want to have to remember more than one name at a time haha |
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I've never classified myself as a swinger. I joined to explore what I had never explored but have only ever had one to one meets.
It's a hobby rather than a lifestyle choice so I don't spend my time travelling to socials or meeting lots of people.
I'm here because it's a place to have conversations I don't have anywhere else. |
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By *agatoXXXMan 35 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"If you're someone who identifies as not being a swinger - what are you on Fab for?
If you're someone who is a swinger - would you meet someone who isn't?"
To nick the good jokes from the forum. Them's slim pickin's these days.  |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"I'm not definitely not a swinger, it seems like effort.
I'm just here for the causal sex with the odd hot guy. "
No, it's not effort. It's like saying you're not a Summer person. Quite easy.
Odd hot guy... you'll definitely find the odd part. Good look, Miss Coyote. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Not here for just regular casual vanilla sex with men ... am interested in clubs, parties, MFM and group sex etc when I find the right sexy male swinger friends do to that with.
Not interested in being a "unicorn " for a MF couple though have in the past and would perhaps in a club.
Also just like the mostly like minded chat in the forum |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"i think there is different levels of - each seems to have their own version of what it means to them. "
Yes, definitely, it's such a subjective term. People use it though. I do. I say I'm not a swinger. I was curious as to how others view Fab, what they're on here for if they also say they're not one. |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"I'm not a swinger. I'm here for the platonic connections, the socials, the escapism that presents itself by way of 'non-committal' dating/relationships, flirting...and then the 'enhanced vanilla' sex.
I'm here for the sex, without the theatrics associated with swinging or kink or BDSM or whatever."
Do you not think the non-committal dating/relationships are theatrics of sex? It's like a delicate trill in my mind.
Anyway, I do understand where you're coming from! Do you meet people who are swingers, not platonically? |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"What IS a swinger? "
I think I just don’t think of myself as a sex club type or doing much more than 3sum shiz. I just like sex, but I also like a giggle and the playfulness of speaking with people on here  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"What IS a swinger?
I think I just don’t think of myself as a sex club type or doing much more than 3sum shiz. I just like sex, but I also like a giggle and the playfulness of speaking with people on here "
I sound sooooooo dull!   |
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By *anae21Woman 35 weeks ago
Nearer than you think |
I'd always described myself as a serial monogamist but, having spent many years on here, my boundaries have flexed and I guess I have occasionally indulged in behaviour others would regard as swinging.
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By *a LunaWoman 35 weeks ago
South Wales |
Definitely not a swinger. I was here as a single lass looking for sex between relationships.
Been there, done that and realised that casual sex is not really for me. Much prefer the comfortable shagfest that a relationship brings.
Although currently in a long term “can’t be bothered with relationships” funk mostly due to peri menopause etc.
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To us, swinging is a mindset above all else. We've met quite a few single guys in the years we've been here and the common link with all the guys we've only met once is at some point during the meet they say something along the lines of 'I don't know how you do this, I'd never let my mrs do it' whereas our repeats have always bemoaned the fact they can't find a partner to do it with. |
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By *elloWoman 35 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"If you're someone who identifies as not being a swinger - what are you on Fab for?
If you're someone who is a swinger - would you meet someone who isn't?"
When I'm in a relationship I'm a swinger and would use a couples profile on here to meet swinging couples and singles.
Currently not in a relationship so I'm using my single profile and class myself as someone looking for casual meets, but open to more. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I like swinging from vines, seeing someone’s sexuality pour from their fountain, wading through their oceans head high, exploring all their wilderness and all of their mountains, letting my mink wrap all around us. Feeling their storm inside me.
Does that define me a swinger? There’s one certainty, I enjoy it all. Loads. Over and over again. At times with many people. Other times with very select few or even one on one. |
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"I'm not a swinger. I'm here for the platonic connections, the socials, the escapism that presents itself by way of 'non-committal' dating/relationships, flirting...and then the 'enhanced vanilla' sex.
I'm here for the sex, without the theatrics associated with swinging or kink or BDSM or whatever.
·
Do you not think the non-committal dating/relationships are theatrics of sex? It's like a delicate trill in my mind.
Anyway, I do understand where you're coming from! Do you meet people who are swingers, not platonically?"
•
I'm all for the theatrics of sex (a newly coined phrase for this afternoon; 'thank me later!) within the confines of 'vanillahood', mild experimentation general woo'ing and courtship.
I'm not averse to meeting people who are swingers. The opportunity hasn't presented itself. |
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By *ony MannMan 35 weeks ago
Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura |
I almost made a mistake. She was online saying meet me meet me, so I book a hotel and continue to chat, then it's, it will just be me won't it. Then you can't have any others.
I cancelled everything, I don't think non swingers should meet from a swingers site. |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"No I don't think we are swingers not really - we've never couple swapped because.... Men - urgh, they smell.
No in all seriousness I find it difficult to be attracted to men then I overthink it and put myself off.
We've only ever had meets with women so I don't think we fall under the "swingers" umbrella, I'm not sure really - either way it's not a lifestyle for us it's a bit of fun & at the moment we aren't meeting so we are just those annoying people here that don't meet
Maybe one day I'll find my mojo again and want all the boobs but right now I'm just here for the forums & keep up with those we've made friends with.
Mrs "
I don't know if swinging is just couple swapping. I think meeting women is a form of it - it's a tad cockcentric to see it as only being if another man is involved.
Maybe you will find your mojo again, even if you don't I hope you're happier soon. x |
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By *ony MannMan 35 weeks ago
Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura |
"I'd say swingers are a small minority on here in the sense of married/long term couples seeking the same.
"
I would say swinging is wider than that, but I don't know where the line is drawn |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"I'm not a swinger, I'm single. There doesn't seem to be anywhere else with like minded people just looking for a connection. So I find myself coming back.
No problem with swingers but I don't want to have to remember more than one name at a time haha"
I do think that there are increasing numbers of single people joining in between relationships. Wanting casual sex from here. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I make the occasional cake. I look on websites for cake recipes.
I'm not a baker.
"
Pretty much this. I don't know what category we as a couple, or either of us individually, fall into. Therefore it doesn't make a difference to us if the people we're meeting identify as swingers or not. It happens so rarely, anyway.
Mutual attraction, a good connection, and respect for our choice to be non-monogamous is what matters.
Nell |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"What IS a swinger? "
Well, as I've said before, there's no clear cut definition. What there is, is a personal one. When I've said before I'm not a swinger, I know what I associate with or as being swinging behaviour. Shenanigans.
I think in order for someone to say yes I'm a swinger, or no I'm not, they have their own take on it. So... what's the distinction on a personal level? That's what I'm curious about. Slightly different angle. |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"I mean, I think we are because we have couple swapped, go to swingers clubs etc...
We would meet and have met people who are not swingers
Miss S x"
Yay! This has made me happy to read.  Hope you've recovered now, x |
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We have been around this lifestyle for over 20 years so yes we are definitely swingers .
We won't meet people that are not into This lifestyle but are curious, we have been around long enough and have seen enough to know if your not 100 percent sure or if you don't understand the lifestyle then it can be a disaster, we are here for drama free fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"What IS a swinger?
Well, as I've said before, there's no clear cut definition. What there is, is a personal one. When I've said before I'm not a swinger, I know what I associate with or as being swinging behaviour. Shenanigans.
I think in order for someone to say yes I'm a swinger, or no I'm not, they have their own take on it. So... what's the distinction on a personal level? That's what I'm curious about. Slightly different angle."
Identity and pride is a tricky one! Like you say it’s personal. I’m always a bit more reserved with my identity, partly because I’m not a fan of labels and identity and showing off (who’d have thought!) and partly because I’m never sure if I belong with a certain group or not! Maybe I’m a commitment-phobe! I’m not a swinger !  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Pretty sure if you asked the average person 'What's a swinger?' almost everyone would assume it's married couples having sex with other married couples.
It's only on here that people see it as having a more broad definition. |
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"If you're someone who identifies as not being a swinger - what are you on Fab for?
If you're someone who is a swinger - would you meet someone who isn't?"
I'm here for the wonderful forum threads started by you and Senor Pickle |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Could have briefly described myself as a swinger once upon a time when I had a couples profile but it didn't last long. Now I'm just here as a great big perv for all the titties on show |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"If you're someone who identifies as not being a swinger - what are you on Fab for?
If you're someone who is a swinger - would you meet someone who isn't?"
Yes I would definitely |
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By *ripfillMan 35 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
I am not a swinger but I like the people on here as a rule ….
It’s non judgmental open and frankly you learn a lot of stuff.
I do want to meet occasionally for pleasure
Otherwise I would have joined a dating site
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"If you're someone who identifies as not being a swinger - what are you on Fab for?
If you're someone who is a swinger - would you meet someone who isn't?
To learn how to put condoms on"
I am so close to making and sending you a COI video. So close.
The sisterhood deserves it. |
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By *eli OP Woman 35 weeks ago
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"To us, swinging is a mindset above all else. We've met quite a few single guys in the years we've been here and the common link with all the guys we've only met once is at some point during the meet they say something along the lines of 'I don't know how you do this, I'd never let my mrs do it' whereas our repeats have always bemoaned the fact they can't find a partner to do it with."
I think that's it. It's a mindset. How it looks in reality can vary but there's a belief you are one etc and understanding of certain things more readily? Perhaps.
It's really interesting to read about your experiences with single men and that noticeable difference in behaviour. Hadn't thought about it in terms of actual physical meeting so thank you! |
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By *CLM87Woman 35 weeks ago
Derbyshire |
I identify as a swinger.
I'm single at the moment, my last relationship we were couple swapping and if I get in to a relationship again, then it would have the be the same.
I love the social aspect and group sex is amazing.
To me sex is something to be enjoyed and shared and is different to the loving sex you have with your partner.
At the moment due to funds, I can't visit clubs like I want to... but as soon as this changes, I will be going to clubs again.
It's difficult on here to always determin who is and isn't in the lifestyle so to speak. |
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This is my only social media, I find it educational, funny, interesting challenging at times, most people are intelligent and sexy, I get to make the odd wise crack and I can bang on about religion occasionally.
I don’t attempt to hook up with anyone but if it happens that’s a bonus |
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I don’t think of myself as a swinger.
Just a bloke that likes doing the sex with someone that isn’t Mrs Wick. And a bloke that likes Mrs Wick doing the sex with people other than me.
Aside from that, I’m just a bit of a knobhead. |
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"I don’t think of myself as a swinger.
Just a bloke that likes doing the sex with someone that isn’t Mrs Wick. And a bloke that likes Mrs Wick doing the sex with people other than me.
Aside from that, I’m just a bit of a knobhead. "
Very honest of you Mr Wick, is your head bell shaped with a slit down the middle? |
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We’re most definitely swingers, but we love making friendships just as much as we like great sex with many and varied people.
Whether they’re a swinger or not doesn’t make a great deal of difference. Just as long as everyone is on the same page xx |
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"I don’t think of myself as a swinger.
Just a bloke that likes doing the sex with someone that isn’t Mrs Wick. And a bloke that likes Mrs Wick doing the sex with people other than me.
Aside from that, I’m just a bit of a knobhead.
Very honest of you Mr Wick, is your head bell shaped with a slit down the middle? "
Sadly not, I reckon it’d make for a unique USP. 
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Never really seen 'swinger' as an identity - just a description, hence why I don't think most would describe the majority here as 'swinging'.
Curious why people would see it as an identity though? Does it legitimise casual sex? |
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"To us, swinging is a mindset above all else. We've met quite a few single guys in the years we've been here and the common link with all the guys we've only met once is at some point during the meet they say something along the lines of 'I don't know how you do this, I'd never let my mrs do it' whereas our repeats have always bemoaned the fact they can't find a partner to do it with."
I really dislike those kinds of people. They’re happy to take advantage but would never want to do the same, it seems very mercenary and disrespectful to me. |
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"
It's really interesting to read about your experiences with single men and that noticeable difference in behaviour. Hadn't thought about it in terms of actual physical meeting so thank you!"
Some of them would have been nailed on remeets but their hypocrisy is an instant turn off for me along with the 'fabstraights' hiding their true sexuality. Our profile is honest and truthful and we expect our playmates to be the same. |
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I really dislike those kinds of people. They’re happy to take advantage but would never want to do the same, it seems very mercenary and disrespectful to me. "
Unfortunately it's not only Fab that has folks like that as the real world is full of them too  |
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