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Unsuccessful 1st Messages
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First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
Would the question that comes next be;
Can I fuck you? "
I don’t give them the chance to further disappoint me. Those messages are binned I’m afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’. "
OMFG yes that one annoys me.
Also how big are your tits?
Do you like anal?
Want to meet today?
Hi
Can I be your submissive?
Can I wank over your stocking?
Do you want to watch me wank on cam? |
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
Would the question that comes next be;
Can I fuck you?
I don’t give them the chance to further disappoint me. Those messages are binned I’m afraid. "
Then they post forums how crap it is because they can't get response and may even go the local papers. |
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By *MCMan 35 weeks ago
London/EA |
"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
OMFG yes that one annoys me.
Also how big are your tits?
Do you like anal?
Want to meet today?
Hi
Can I be your submissive?
Can I wank over your stocking?
Do you want to watch me wank on cam? "
Least you’re getting a bit of variety in there though Curves… |
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying 
Aw no."
Not always. But it happened often enough that I'd grit my teeth waiting for it to come when I deleted it.
Think... the topics you definitely cannot talk about on Fab, kind of horrifying. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
OMFG yes that one annoys me.
Also how big are your tits?
Do you like anal?
Want to meet today?
Hi
Can I be your submissive?
Can I wank over your stocking?
Do you want to watch me wank on cam?
Least you’re getting a bit of variety in there though Curves… "
Very true its fab bingo in my inbox |
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"What’s wrong with FAF?! 
•
It's been superceded by FÅL.
(Fancy A Lovemaking') It comes across a tad more refined and urbane."
If it fails to achieve the desired outcome, I’ll just resort to offering free food  |
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"What’s wrong with FAF?!
•
It's been superceded by FÅL.
(Fancy A Lovemaking') It comes across a tad more refined and urbane.
If it fails to achieve the desired outcome, I’ll just resort to offering free food "
•
FAQ? Fancy A Quiche? |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying
Aw no.
Not always. But it happened often enough that I'd grit my teeth waiting for it to come when I deleted it.
Think... the topics you definitely cannot talk about on Fab, kind of horrifying."
At leastits like they are self selecting to be added to your block list |
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying
Aw no.
Not always. But it happened often enough that I'd grit my teeth waiting for it to come when I deleted it.
Think... the topics you definitely cannot talk about on Fab, kind of horrifying."
I just did and eurgh.
I guess you can think it’s only a few, but it’s still awful
|
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By *aizyWoman 35 weeks ago
west midlands |
"What’s wrong with FAF?!
•
It's been superceded by FÅL.
(Fancy A Lovemaking') It comes across a tad more refined and urbane.
If it fails to achieve the desired outcome, I’ll just resort to offering free food
•
FAQ? Fancy A Quiche?"
Oooft! |
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I've had a spate recently of "hello there's something I really want to tell you but I want to make sure that it's something that you want to hear first do you think it would be okay if I messaged you back and told you" and variations.
Most odd... I responded to the first one. Big mistake, so they get binned now. I wonder if someone has put the word out this approach piques curiosity.
It just piques ick for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
|
"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
OMFG yes that one annoys me.
Also how big are your tits?
Do you like anal?
Want to meet today?
Hi
Can I be your submissive?
Can I wank over your stocking?
Do you want to watch me wank on cam? "
Yes and add:
you’re so hot. I’ve just looked at your photos and want to wank over them. Would you be okay if I did? Fancy watching me?
Is x inches too small? Genuine question mistress.
Can I take you to dinner? Anything you fancy. You can choose the place. I did reply to someone who said that recently. Not with any intentions of joining him for dinner but to show him he should not make offers he has to back away from. I sent him a restaurant name. He came back saying he couldn’t do that place but could have me over. Suggested I find some other man to treat me to that restaurant. I told him, I happily take myself often and don’t need a man to pay for my meal.
|
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying
Aw no.
Not always. But it happened often enough that I'd grit my teeth waiting for it to come when I deleted it.
Think... the topics you definitely cannot talk about on Fab, kind of horrifying.
At leastits like they are self selecting to be added to your block list"
Very much.
But it's almost like... I dunno. If they preface (redacted) or (redacted) or (redacted) with "can I ask you a question?" it makes (redacted) ok?
It does not. The only way those topics are ok are as... I don't know, intellectual discussions of criminology or forensic psychology. And I don't expect to find those here! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying "
Yes!
The one time I said go on the person said would you fancy fucking a man who fucks his sister?  |
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By *aizyWoman 35 weeks ago
west midlands |
"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying
Yes!
The one time I said go on the person said would you fancy fucking a man who fucks his sister? "
Bloody hell!  |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels "
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching. |
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Another message that doesn't work on me is the long fantasy about what you want to do to me.
I'm often tempted to take out my meany miss editor red pen, print the fucker out and get to work. But that would require me to invoice, and Fab frowns upon such behaviour
(Dear mods etc, I have no intention of ever doing this) |
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying
Yes!
The one time I said go on the person said would you fancy fucking a man who fucks his sister? "
That's one of the redacted things, yes. |
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’. "
You can reply "you've already asked a question. Goodbye"
But yes, an irritating one. You know the question is going to be something unpleasant/out of left field. |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching."
Ok so those messages do work, maybe we are wrong |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
I found when I got that message, the question was often something bloody horrifying
Yes!
The one time I said go on the person said would you fancy fucking a man who fucks his sister? "
OMFG bet your dropped your knickers at that charmer ... or was it double block |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching.
Ok so those messages do work, maybe we are wrong "
You really are no better than the senders... what was that thread about thinking you're better than others? Hmm. |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching.
Ok so those messages do work, maybe we are wrong
You really are no better than the senders... what was that thread about thinking you're better than others? Hmm. "
What is your problem, this is just a light hearted post, if those work on you ok, go and enjoy yourself with those charmers.
Don't judge use when you don't know us. |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching.
Ok so those messages do work, maybe we are wrong
You really are no better than the senders... what was that thread about thinking you're better than others? Hmm.
What is your problem, this is just a light hearted post, if those work on you ok, go and enjoy yourself with those charmers.
Don't judge use when you don't know us."
But that's what you're doing though? Judging people by their messages? Or have I got that wrong? |
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"I've had a spate recently of "hello there's something I really want to tell you but I want to make sure that it's something that you want to hear first do you think it would be okay if I messaged you back and told you" and variations.
Most odd... I responded to the first one. Big mistake, so they get binned now. I wonder if someone has put the word out this approach piques curiosity.
It just piques ick for me. "
There was a lot of fb or insta ads for how to get a woman to answer your messages , that must be the thing at the end of the 5 minute teaser for those ads. |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels "
definitely  |
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By *ild_oatsMan 35 weeks ago
the land of saints & sinners |
I’ve found that I get a 100% success rate if I open with the following eloquent first message.
“Can come over a tongue punch you in your fart box”
At getting blocked…..
Works every time… |
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""Hi.... I've been following you for a while...."
I've had more than one person trying to triangulate my location. Or variations on "you're always in the same place. Why don't we meet at (closest chain coffee shop to me)?"
Not as creepy as I know some women have had, like "I've seen you in Supermarket, I know you buy Warburton's" |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching.
Ok so those messages do work, maybe we are wrong
You really are no better than the senders... what was that thread about thinking you're better than others? Hmm.
What is your problem, this is just a light hearted post, if those work on you ok, go and enjoy yourself with those charmers.
Don't judge use when you don't know us.
But that's what you're doing though? Judging people by their messages? Or have I got that wrong?"
How is this judging people? Look at all the comments, it's just a bit of fun outlook at people send.
In fact most of the messages are most likely from kids on half term.
Do you think some of these messages are from real grown ups, worded like that? |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels
I disagree. But bow down to your wisdom. Carry on preaching.
Ok so those messages do work, maybe we are wrong
You really are no better than the senders... what was that thread about thinking you're better than others? Hmm.
What is your problem, this is just a light hearted post, if those work on you ok, go and enjoy yourself with those charmers.
Don't judge use when you don't know us.
But that's what you're doing though? Judging people by their messages? Or have I got that wrong?
How is this judging people? Look at all the comments, it's just a bit of fun outlook at people send.
In fact most of the messages are most likely from kids on half term.
Do you think some of these messages are from real grown ups, worded like that?"
And I'm just having a bit of fun questioning what you are stating. Same thing! |
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"What’s wrong with FAF?!
•
It's been superceded by FÅL.
(Fancy A Lovemaking') It comes across a tad more refined and urbane."
Refined and urbane it might well be but just a hint fron a some time English teacher, any lads hoping for success might do better typing "Fancy some lovemaking".
It could make all the difference! |
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My latest offering was... any chance I can lick your fanny today.
I asked if there was any chance I could drop kick him in the stones.
He joined 46 minutes before messaging me. Left site with 30 minutes of my reply.
Yup they walk among us! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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""Hi.... I've been following you for a while....
I've had more than one person trying to triangulate my location. Or variations on "you're always in the same place. Why don't we meet at (closest chain coffee shop to me)?"
Not as creepy as I know some women have had, like "I've seen you in Supermarket, I know you buy Warburton's" "
That made me LOL
Talk about being specific |
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80% time first messages are never read.
100% crass ones are doomed to fail.
90% messages are read and never responded to.
So I like to use the sex panther message because it works 60% of the time all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"80% time first messages are never read.
100% crass ones are doomed to fail.
90% messages are read and never responded to.
So I like to use the sex panther message because it works 60% of the time all the time."
Sex panther |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
…."
I don’t see anything wrong straight to the point. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"My latest offering was... any chance I can lick your fanny today.
I asked if there was any chance I could drop kick him in the stones.
He joined 46 minutes before messaging me. Left site with 30 minutes of my reply.
Yup they walk among us!"
I have more UNLOS in my saved messages than times ive had sex. All about... Can I lick your clit first message |
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"The best ones are when they keep coming, I have one person that's sent 14 of them now."
That said, I do recall groaning a few times when another message drops so quite a few msgs back I said "I'm not into any of those things you want to do, sorry."
The reply was "wot you into then"
Lordy Lordy Lordy... |
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"80% time first messages are never read.
100% crass ones are doomed to fail.
90% messages are read and never responded to.
So I like to use the sex panther message because it works 60% of the time all the time.
Sex panther"
Yeah by odean, it's intoxicating |
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Just be glad your getting messages. I have to message myself to check it's working some days haha.
I do try to make the effort when messaging which also don't seem to get any reply or acknowledgement. |
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"My all time recent favourite, ‘can I ask you question?’.
Drives me insane this one  "
having seen this one come up so often in these threads, I started pondering and now wonder if there isa a certain logic to it.
You (any sex) ask that question, recipient looks at your profile and if they like you they then reply 'Go ahead'. If they don't like you, they don't reply so no need to get as far as asking the question.
Should work in theory but clearly doesn't cater for the persistent types who can't get a grasp on reality.
Evidently, from threads like this, these types are the main problem on the messaging scene. |
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"First messages that definitely don't work if you are single messaging a female.
- Fancy fuck
- I want to fuck you
- Wanna come around mine for shag
Yep these are the messages that reoccur on here
Come on guys you won't do this when out and about when you see someone you fancy, in fact I think you would get a kick in the family jewels "
And who said faf doesn’t work ?????? |
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We had one a lot a time ago saying that he wanted to fuck my slut wife up the arse. That was an opener! How do these people function in society if they think that's a good to say to a person when you've never met them before? |
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"We had one a lot a time ago saying that he wanted to fuck my slut wife up the arse. That was an opener! How do these people function in society if they think that's a good to say to a person when you've never met them before?"
You say they 'function' but it's likely malfunction |
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We get loads if these. Our favourites:
- your guy has a tiny cock, come ride this, it'll make you come
- I'm on a business trip, come my hotel now.
- we don't want Mr involved, we just want her. I know our profile says full swap but we want a lady.
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