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Is it hard to break a narcissist heart?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 35 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I read an interesting article about it and did you know that breaking a narcissist heart is different than breaking a normal persons heart? Apparently there is a thing you have to do first in order to do it and that is you must first accept yourself, because the narcissist wants to devalue you.
They mentioned different things in the article of how a narcissist doesnt care about love and closeness, but rather the main thing that they care about is power and control, so, a threat to his power or control will break his heart.
What is your view of it and do you also agree that all they care is about power and control?
Have you been in a relationship with one and have you noticed the things that they dont care about like the things mentioned?  |
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I worked with one for years. The weirdest defining characteristic was that a narcissist doesn’t understand that other people are actually other people, they see them as extensions of themselves and as such boundaries cannot be enforced because they do not exist to the narcissist.
The only way to deal with them is to keep away from them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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My estranged mother is one, along with a couple of former friends years ago. I would never entertain such people again and any warning signs with potential romantic dates I would be out the door. That is the best way to deal with them  |
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Lived with one for years .. they didn't understand anyone else's needs but their own.
Don't think you could break his heart, he would just turn it round to your failing.
Leaving is the only way to deal with them, leave and get all the outside protection to keep them away because they think you belong and have no right to leave |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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According to the social media posts of my narcissistic ex I broke his heart when I threw him out unexpectedly...
If course they failed to mention
- They had been financially bleeding me dry
- Were having an affair
- Hadn't given me any sort of physical affection for 7 years
So I didn't actually break their heart, I just ruined their public image of being the perfect husband and cut off their supply.
They very quickly moved on with the woman they were having an affair with and I am very happily still single 4.5 years later. |
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By *ucka39Man 35 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that
But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made
I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that
But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made
I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it
"
Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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At least we are alive to share our tales.Sure it hurts. I was thinking once to help those with addictions but not for me. My last job was narcissist cannot work in controlling conditions. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I read an interesting article about it and did you know that breaking a narcissist heart is different than breaking a normal persons heart? Apparently there is a thing you have to do first in order to do it and that is you must first accept yourself, because the narcissist wants to devalue you.
They mentioned different things in the article of how a narcissist doesnt care about love and closeness, but rather the main thing that they care about is power and control, so, a threat to his power or control will break his heart.
What is your view of it and do you also agree that all they care is about power and control?
Have you been in a relationship with one and have you noticed the things that they dont care about like the things mentioned? "
What about you shag? Have you experienced the above?  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"At least we are alive to share our tales.Sure it hurts. I was thinking once to help those with addictions but not for me. My last job was narcissist cannot work in controlling conditions."
I had one in my team working for me.... utter nightmare ... caused so much trouble..... one day threatened to leave .... I said that's a shame, your choice of course is there anything they would like me to do to help them move to a new role? They left e months later |
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I didn't think it was possible for me to be even MORE irritated by the misuse of the word narcissist than I already am , but here we go ......
Each time we get a thread with 175 people who have dated a narcissist I shake my head in disbelief and sadness.
Narcissists are human. They might not think like you or feel what you feel but they are human.
They also come in a HUGE variety of packages.......
They are not equally as mean , they are not monsters out to get you , they are not murderers or psychopaths or any other label you want to stick on them and they hurt very much - true they may not be able to understand your hurt but they do hurt.
In truth like it or not they are simply living their reality and whilst I'd find it difficult to imagine a narcissist could fulfill my needs in a relationship I can recognise their humanity and treat them accordingly. We've all worked with them........
The people I see being described are usually NOT narcissistic but just badly behaved , ill brought up, uncaring , sociopathic cunts ..... and you chose them.
No one CHOOSES to be a narcissist. |
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By *ucka39Man 35 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that
But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made
I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it
Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out. "
Likewise xxx sorry to hear that you were a victim also and others on this thread
It can be difficult to figure out when the person doing it is also an alcoholic. Is it the drink speaking or something more
One thing I can say yes she regrets everything and clearly knows what she lost as I'm a rare find which I'm sure most of you all are |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that
But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made
I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it
Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out.
Likewise xxx sorry to hear that you were a victim also and others on this thread
It can be difficult to figure out when the person doing it is also an alcoholic. Is it the drink speaking or something more
One thing I can say yes she regrets everything and clearly knows what she lost as I'm a rare find which I'm sure most of you all are "
Battered and bruised we are survivours  |
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"According to the social media posts of my narcissistic ex I broke his heart when I threw him out unexpectedly...
If course they failed to mention
- They had been financially bleeding me dry
- Were having an affair
- Hadn't given me any sort of physical affection for 7 years
So I didn't actually break their heart, I just ruined their public image of being the perfect husband and cut off their supply.
They very quickly moved on with the woman they were having an affair with and I am very happily still single 4.5 years later. "
well done you xxx |
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"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that
But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made
I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it
"
thank you for sharing - Guys have this treatment too - glad you found yourself again |
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By *ucka39Man 35 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that
But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made
I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it
Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out.
Likewise xxx sorry to hear that you were a victim also and others on this thread
It can be difficult to figure out when the person doing it is also an alcoholic. Is it the drink speaking or something more
One thing I can say yes she regrets everything and clearly knows what she lost as I'm a rare find which I'm sure most of you all are
Battered and bruised we are survivours "
From weaknesses to strength the untouchable  the rainbow gets brighter |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 35 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I read an interesting article about it and did you know that breaking a narcissist heart is different than breaking a normal persons heart? Apparently there is a thing you have to do first in order to do it and that is you must first accept yourself, because the narcissist wants to devalue you.
They mentioned different things in the article of how a narcissist doesnt care about love and closeness, but rather the main thing that they care about is power and control, so, a threat to his power or control will break his heart.
What is your view of it and do you also agree that all they care is about power and control?
Have you been in a relationship with one and have you noticed the things that they dont care about like the things mentioned?
What about you shag? Have you experienced the above? "
Hi becs, no. I havent experienced it, what about you? |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 35 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I worked with one for years. The weirdest defining characteristic was that a narcissist doesn’t understand that other people are actually other people, they see them as extensions of themselves and as such boundaries cannot be enforced because they do not exist to the narcissist.
The only way to deal with them is to keep away from them. "
Yes, that is the only way too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 35 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Lived with one for years .. they didn't understand anyone else's needs but their own.
Don't think you could break his heart, he would just turn it round to your failing.
Leaving is the only way to deal with them, leave and get all the outside protection to keep them away because they think you belong and have no right to leave"
Hi gottogiggle, yes, you are right there, they dont understand anyone elses needs but their own and yes, leaving them is the only way too |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Its not impossible for a narcissist to feel, just most of what they do is fed by others. The only way to truly affect them is to take away your communication, presence and remove yourself from their life in silence. The loss of power and control is the only thing that hurts them and their ego. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 35 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Its not impossible for a narcissist to feel, just most of what they do is fed by others. The only way to truly affect them is to take away your communication, presence and remove yourself from their life in silence. The loss of power and control is the only thing that hurts them and their ego."
Yes, you are right there, the best way is not to have anything to do with them |
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