I have travelled through time to save you from a murderous robot, and breed you so that our baby can save all mankind, so that he can send me back to save you from a murderous robot, and I can breed you, so that our baby can save all mankind, etc etc..

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By *inky_couple2020Couple 37 weeks ago

North West

Is this where you work?

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By *rBobbMan 37 weeks ago

Birmingham

You remind me of my old school teacher

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By *iaisonseekerMan 37 weeks ago

Liverpool

I like you*

*One for Peep Show fans

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman 37 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

"I like you*

*One for Peep Show fans

Don’t say it, write it on your eyelids

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By *aters139Man 37 weeks ago

Sheffield

""do you want to watch me take a piss?"

But I do with with my trousers round my ankles so you can admire my ass....

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By *ockforplay66Man 37 weeks ago

Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere

Have you always been a woman, or did you used to be a dude?

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By *reative-mind OP Man 37 weeks ago

Exeter

"I have travelled through time to save you from a murderous robot, and breed you so that our baby can save all mankind, so that he can send me back to save you from a murderous robot, and I can breed you, so that our baby can save all mankind, etc etc.. "

Did I mention the robot would also be a former Governor of California?

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By *J the bullMan 37 weeks ago

Washington

Fuck mum why did you take the mask off

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By *ompovatorX24Man 37 weeks ago

Wembley

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I've farted

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By *glyBettyTV/TS 37 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

...will you peg me?

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

The moon is made of cheese and is inhabited by mouse astronauts

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman 37 weeks ago

Markfield

Your balls are showing.

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By *-jonMan 37 weeks ago

London

Your mother was better

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By *eathrow pineappleCouple 37 weeks ago

Hounslow

Put the kettle on

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By *ed VoluptaWoman 37 weeks ago

Wirral.

...I've shat myself

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

I've just realised I can use a contraction - Moustranauts. They'd be like the Clangers.

You're welcome.

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By *assionate explorer 1Man 37 weeks ago

Folkestone

Dunno if it's a fart or a poo

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By *assionate explorer 1Man 37 weeks ago

Folkestone

"I like you*

*One for Peep Show fans

Don’t say it, write it on your eyelids "

I remember this. Love it

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

What time is the next bus?

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

I’m A United fan …

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple 37 weeks ago

Southampton

Whats the offside rule ???

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By *dward_TeagueMan 37 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Something stupid like….I’ve followed through

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By *abioMan 37 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Chelsea for the champions league!!!

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By *amhorniestMan 37 weeks ago

Surrey

Only 30!... I thought you were in your 50s

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

Can I have your Mum's number?

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

Can we meet now.

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

I just farted

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By *CLM87Woman 37 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Can I breed you

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By *andyel73Man 37 weeks ago

Leyland

"The sine and cosine of an acute angle are defined in the context of a right-angled triangle."

You had me at cosine

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple 37 weeks ago

Southampton

Is it in yet?

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple 37 weeks ago

Southampton

"The sine and cosine of an acute angle are defined in the context of a right-angled triangle.

You had me at cosine"

Don't go off at a tangent

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

"Chelsea for the champions league!!!

They win their third before Arsenal win their first I reckon

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By *hristopherd999Man 37 weeks ago

Brentwood

What do you mean you're a Man U supporter, you're from Cricklewood!

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By *lack Orchid 0204Man 37 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes your bum does look big in that

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By *inglepringlebedsukMan 37 weeks ago

Arlesey

I farted

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

You taste fishy

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By *icketToRudeCouple 37 weeks ago

Wellingborough

Potato

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By *glyBettyTV/TS 37 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

"Chelsea for the champions league!!!

They win their third before Arsenal win their first I reckon

Arsenal will not win a Champions League in most of our lifetimes.

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By *JandCMCouple 37 weeks ago

cardiff

How long till tea?

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By *odgerMooreMan 37 weeks ago

Nowhere

Pineapple pizza please!!

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple 37 weeks ago

Norwichish

I forgot my ropes

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By *endalshaggersCouple 37 weeks ago

Kendal

Sorry, got to go, the delivery driver can't find my address again

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By *ohnSwingsSurreyMan 37 weeks ago

Horley

I’m going to drive in the middle lane of the motorway for 50 miles

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By *ags73Man 37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Squirt isn’t Pee.

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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago

I don’t like chocolate orange.

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By *undee2Man 37 weeks ago

Dundee

I have read most of the posts and I think that I messed up by saying most of the comments or similar.

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By *tylebender03Man 37 weeks ago

Manchester

I know this is a fuck site but I love you

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By *naswingdressWoman 37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Please tell me that was the dog, and you're going to change its diet

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By *ondiego85Man 37 weeks ago

nottingham

“I only take unvaccinated people”

No shit, this was a lass from derby on this very site.

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By *ittlebirdWoman 37 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Those giant hamsters are real right? Right?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan 37 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

Wrong Hole

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By *alm_one4Man 37 weeks ago

RM16

Yea, I know I stopped but Match of the Day just started.

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By *ugehandsMan 37 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

When was the last time you used the vacuum... For cleaning?

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By *aughtyJonny23Man 37 weeks ago

Corby/Kettering

Fancy a game of freckles?

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