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The art of conversation...
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Talking about others interests, hobbies, work life, family and friends and what makes one another happy are good starters for 10 but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative 
And if the feeling between each other is electric then discussions of turn ons, fantasies etc may take precedence  |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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As above, small talk is boring.
I like guys that can just go off on one about something they care about or tell me things about their life. Sometimes the conversation is just easy and you can talk about the stupid things and the serious stuff. |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"I like conversation when its two way. Sort of equal contribution from everyone. I hate it when someone talks over the other, and doesn't listen!"
Yep. Sort of equal works. I find it mind-numbingly dull when it's an exercise in a person just talking about themselves. No desire to learn about how you view things, feel about things. Just to say their bit. So dull. |
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I dislike people that ask a question only as a segue to tell one of their own anecdotes.
I like people that don't take themselves too seriously. Good conversation has light and shade - happy to prattle on about favourite foods before jumping to the unbearable lightness of being and everything in between. |
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"What are some things that make a good/enjoyable conversation for you?
What do you dislike in a conversation? "
When both parties have enough common ground to get the conversational flow going, and a similar sense of humour and a mutual enthusiasm for the conversation, but when they also know things I don't but that I find interesting and want to learn about. I hate conversations where you're having to guess at how to progress it because the other person isn't giving you anything back. |
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"I like people talking about something they are passionate about.
I dislike small talk - it irritates me.
Mrs
Unfortunately, talking to strangers usually takes a bit of small talk first. "
Yeah, it's still extremely irritating, maybe this is why I don't talk to people 
Mrs |
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"I dislike people that ask a question only as a segue to tell one of their own anecdotes.
I like people that don't take themselves too seriously. Good conversation has light and shade - happy to prattle on about favourite foods before jumping to the unbearable lightness of being and everything in between."
Absolutely what I was going to say.
When you can tell someone isn’t listening to you, just waiting for you to pause for breath so they can talk at you…. |
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I adore conversions where you can be authentically you. Where you can babble on about something rather niche but the other person is actually listening and interacting with you. Listening is all well and good but interaction is what makes a conversation good.
What makes a bad conversation, when someone doesn't let you finish your sentence constantly. |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"Talking about others interests, hobbies, work life, family and friends and what makes one another happy are good starters for 10 but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative
And if the feeling between each other is electric then discussions of turn ons, fantasies etc may take precedence "
Yes previous relationships can be potentially negative and also... if someone talks about how all their exes are psycho, narcissistic etc... I'm probably thinking the problem is them.
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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When someone talks to you and not at you. An equal amount of talking and listening. Being heard, as well as hearing the other person. I only speak if I have something to say, small talk is not needed or wanted. |
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As long as someone is genuinely interested in what you're saying I think most conversation is interesting. I also particularly like people who have viewpoints or takes on situation that I wouldn't expect.
Mr |
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Probably a good cheeseboard, nice seating, good lighting, prospect of a hotel not too far away.
Dislike people listening in, making comments aimed at what you're been saying despite not knowing them, fake laughing as if they are having a really fun time. |
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i love talking - whoops ! i also love listening to other's talk and I think I am pretty good at encouraging others to talk. the small talk starting stuff, can be a bit tedious but then teasing out the fun stuff and finding common ground to laugh and joke about. I meet someone for the first time yesterday and the conversation started on a bit about who we are, but then we were giggling about the noisy people in the pub, and if people had volume switches - turned into a nonsense flirty chat which was great and showed that we got on.
I hate conversations that go 'floppy' even texting conversations - so they start with drive and passion and then deflect to 'let me know' or 'you decide' and flop out - I find that irritating |
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It’s interesting that many of the skills / problems that are mentioned here about conversation, are twice as bad in work meetings. Perhaps a small problem is magnified when there are several people in the conversation, but that’s all the more reason to get it right.
As part of my job I sometimes do brainstorming meetings and it’s really obvious that some people just don’t fit when you need a group of people to feel comfortable in suggesting slightly bonkers ideas. |
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"It’s interesting that many of the skills / problems that are mentioned here about conversation, are twice as bad in work meetings. Perhaps a small problem is magnified when there are several people in the conversation, but that’s all the more reason to get it right.
As part of my job I sometimes do brainstorming meetings and it’s really obvious that some people just don’t fit when you need a group of people to feel comfortable in suggesting slightly bonkers ideas."
meetings are always difficult as you get those that dont mind speaking in front of a group and those that would rather not be heard in that type of setting - me Im just loud  |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"I dislike people that ask a question only as a segue to tell one of their own anecdotes.
I like people that don't take themselves too seriously. Good conversation has light and shade - happy to prattle on about favourite foods before jumping to the unbearable lightness of being and everything in between."
Oh that reminds me of a time...
I won't, don't worry. That being said, sometimes people share similar stories as a way of connecting/emphathising.
It's about balance isn't it? And the level of relationship you have. With those I don't particularly know I'd feel uncomfortable if it was too serious all the time, much prefer light frivolity and chats on cheese. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"I adore conversions where you can be authentically you. Where you can babble on about something rather niche but the other person is actually listening and interacting with you. Listening is all well and good but interaction is what makes a conversation good.
What makes a bad conversation, when someone doesn't let you finish your sentence constantly. "
Yess! I'm with this totally. And as knights said above too about talking about things we are passionate about. I'm not much into small talk, but I understand some of it is needed to create momentum in the conversation. Going from nothing to straight in at the deep end would intimidate or scare people off I can imagine. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"Talking about others interests, hobbies, work life, family and friends and what makes one another happy are good starters for 10 but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative
And if the feeling between each other is electric then discussions of turn ons, fantasies etc may take precedence
Yes previous relationships can be potentially negative and also... if someone talks about how all their exes are psycho, narcissistic etc... I'm probably thinking the problem is them.
"
Totally agreed |
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The kind of conversation where you are both genuinely enjoy it. Where you feel if you needed to, you could truly open up to the person that you are conversing with. Discovering what sparks their passion and what drives them. Hearing what's made them become the person they are today.
I guess I'm just nosey  |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"When someone talks to you and not at you. An equal amount of talking and listening. Being heard, as well as hearing the other person. I only speak if I have something to say, small talk is not needed or wanted."
Being heard as well as hearing - I really like that. The whole listening part of a conversation, we've all heard it many times. But being truly listened to? That's when I really enjoy a conversation.
So you're never one for small talk? Small talk gets a lot of hate, sometimes unfairly.
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"I dislike people 'lecturing' you"
There was a lady I had to deal with in the real world that believed in QAnon conspiracy theory.
I let her speak for long periods, then I'd just point out facts that would contradict what she said..just to plant the seed of doubt, & so as not to come off as a complete dick. After knowing her for a bit I think she was drawn to it, coming from a place of trauma..
the theory is absolute bollocks though & it was difficult trying to be patient. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Love any conversation with someone who has something to say. Debates, sharing about things they know or ponder, going down rabbit holes together, whether it's science, politics, random crap, silly things, or things they are passionate about. I struggle with people that don't contribute so it feels like pulling teeth or awkward silence. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I think small talk exists as a social safety barrier..it's kind of like a gauge, so that you know someone isn't a serial killer. (Rather than it being about 'the weather' etc.)
I don't like it either...so what I do with my neighbours rather than small talk is I'll play with their dogs.
Much more fun  |
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I struggle a bit with some conversations. Especially in group settings with a lot of big personalities. I don't feel like I am a worthy contributor so tend to just stay quiet. I prefer talking to people who have interesting stories and enjoy being the main driver of the conversation. That makes me more comfortable as it takes the pressure off of me having to find something interesting to say. Conversation doesn't come naturally to me I often find it awkward  |
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By *a LunaWoman 46 weeks ago
South Wales |
I’m extremely shy so I like someone who is happy and confident to chat about anything, even silly little things that might seem irrelevant.
Nothing too highbrow, nothing bitchy.
Observational stuff, life stories. I like to listen more than I like to talk (surprisingly!). |
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I like conversations. I like finding out about people. I like when you're comfortable with someone and the conversation goes diving off at a tangent, then three hours later you say "oh yeah, I never finished telling you about this" and you circle back round. I love conversations with people when I can be my unguarded self, makes me feel all warm inside.
Mrs TMN x |
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I love random conversations that meander from topic to topic, serious or jovial, seeing how animated someone becomes when it's something they're passionate about, being humbled when someone entrusts me with a problem, seeing the sparkle in their eyes when we share a joke. I adore getting to know people through conversation, the different facets of their personality.
I don't really like conversing via text though, I much prefer to hear tone of voice and see body language.
I'm a magnet for random strangers starting conversations, and I really like those pleasant little asides from my day, the brief shared moment with someone that I'll probably never speak to again.
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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It's all about flow, isn't it? Whether a conversation is serious, flirty, utter nonsense, or light. I enjoy all those types of conversation depending on my mood. Finding that point of mutual interest and running with it is what's important.
Like Scarlet Seduction, I'm crap in group situations and let everyone else take the lead. I'm happy being an observer.
In a one-to-one situation I dislike being monologued at, general smalltalk, and not being listened to.
Nell
Nell |
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I don't like people who sit and spout of their life story as soon as you meet them. I like people with interesting stories. I like to ask questions and like to be asked. I like proper answers that you can respond to.
I like most types of conversation but not politics and not banging on about their ex |
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By *rispyDuckMan 46 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
I enjoying flowing general lighthearted conversation, with a sprinkle of banter and flirting. Even on fab doesn’t always have to be about sex just general chit chat getting to know my potential meet’s interests & things we have in common.
Short word answers & slow responses (2 days later is a big turn off) for me. |
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"What are some things that make a good/enjoyable conversation for you?
What do you dislike in a conversation? "
I don't like it when you are talking to someone and they are not paying attention
Conversation killer |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"Dislike - it grates on me actually, when you ask someone how they are for example and they don't ask you back 
Miss S x"
Yeah, what's that about? Darn it people, follow social cues and pretend you're vaguely interested in the other person. |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"I love conversations with people when I can be my unguarded self, makes me feel all warm inside.
Mrs TMN x"
 It's nice isn't it? I think those are the top tier conversations - having that authenticity with another. It doesn't mean you have to divulge your deepest darkest secrets but being able to talk how you want, about topics you'd like, that makes a massive difference. |
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If we're talking about Fab then the art of conversation for me is when those deep and meaningful conversations remain consistent, relaxed, passionate, and just flow seamlessly between Fab messaging, voice notes, phone calls and external messaging apps.The blurred lines of where we talk no longer matter because the conversation is natural and intrinsic. |
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"If we're talking about Fab then the art of conversation for me is when those deep and meaningful conversations remain consistent, relaxed, passionate, and just flow seamlessly between Fab messaging, voice notes, phone calls and external messaging apps.The blurred lines of where we talk no longer matter because the conversation is natural and intrinsic."
The best
Miss S x |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative
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In principle I agree.
I recently had an experience a little bit like this; I sat and listened tho, as a result built a friendship I don’t want rid of.
The past experiences is what builds us and shapes us, cannot be totally negative to those being vulnerable and willing to share about themselves in that way.
Yes, it’s maybe indication of something but being willing to sit and listen not judge is important.
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative
In principle I agree.
I recently had an experience a little bit like this; I sat and listened tho, as a result built a friendship I don’t want rid of.
The past experiences is what builds us and shapes us, cannot be totally negative to those being vulnerable and willing to share about themselves in that way.
Yes, it’s maybe indication of something but being willing to sit and listen not judge is important.
"
I don’t judge and the person I’m conversing with can talk about whatever they desire and I’m a good listener but I avoid talking about things “I” deem negative and about my past relationships because the topic, depending, could be misconstrued |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"
I don’t judge and the person I’m conversing with can talk about whatever they desire and I’m a good listener but I avoid talking about things “I” deem negative and about my past relationships because the topic, depending, could be misconstrued "
I accept that. My response wasn’t against you, I’m sharing an aspect of my opinion, And in many respects share it. I assure you. Many lenses.. etc.. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Good topic. Thanks all for contributing.
For me, I like genuine people. Doesn’t matter what the topic is. If it’s something I know about, I add my bit. If not, I’m happy to just listen to new stuff.
What puts me off - rudeness, crudeness (including bad language), Negative talk, gossip, politics, religion. |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"I think small talk exists as a social safety barrier..it's kind of like a gauge, so that you know someone isn't a serial killer. (Rather than it being about 'the weather' etc.)
I don't like it either...so what I do with my neighbours rather than small talk is I'll play with their dogs.
Much more fun "
Ah yes, that well known serial killer downfall - small talk. Forget profiling, just make small talk with a serial killer and if they falter, you know there's a fridge of body parts not far behind.
I do understand what you're saying - it's an initial way of gauging compatibility. Seeing if it could become a more meaningful conversation. If replies are short, if there's no interest in you, well they might not be roaming the streets looking for victims but you're probably not that compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"I think small talk exists as a social safety barrier..it's kind of like a gauge, so that you know someone isn't a serial killer. (Rather than it being about 'the weather' etc.)
I don't like it either...so what I do with my neighbours rather than small talk is I'll play with their dogs.
Much more fun
Ah yes, that well known serial killer downfall - small talk. Forget profiling, just make small talk with a serial killer and if they falter, you know there's a fridge of body parts not far behind.
I do understand what you're saying - it's an initial way of gauging compatibility. Seeing if it could become a more meaningful conversation. If replies are short, if there's no interest in you, well they might not be roaming the streets looking for victims but you're probably not that compatible. "
Yep most folks don't realise it's quite an inefficient method.
There's no room left under my floorboards now. |
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