How good are you at maintaining boundaries? Do you let people take the piss or are you great at saying no? Where is this the most difficult for you? Work? Family? This lifestyle eg in clubs.
I am very very bad in all areas and need to get better especially in this lifestyle. Why is no sometimes the hardest word of all? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m generally good in all areas, with exception of my kids and ex who I’ll do literally anything for. It’s not a problem for me, I love helping them, even when it really hard I put them before me, but others see it a a problem |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In my daily life I'm a hell of a lot better now at maintaining them than I used to be.
On here or anything related I'm even better and always fully in control of boundaries. I've never been to a club so I can only assume what boundaries need maintained. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I find it quite easy if people are open and consistent.
It's not so much saying no that I find a challenge it's more whether people can work together collaboratively rather than competitively in relationships. I haven't got the energy for all the arguments and fuckery. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eliWoman 39 weeks ago
. |
I was rather bad at it. I'm quite a soft hearted sort and I don't like hurting people or trying to tell people how they should be with me. I would have much rather swallowed my sad and then just carried on.
Towards the latter half of last year I really discovered the joy of saying no. It can be a bit... daunting at times. Now I'm far more comfortable sticking to and where necessary saying my boundaries. If someone doesn't like them? That's fine. I'm not compatible with them, as much as I might have wanted to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
|
I'm good at setting boundaries but sometimes not great at keeping them due to various reasons. I'm learning to stick to my original thoughts and putting myself first, I'll get there eventually. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Have always been very organised. Was a girly-swot at school, and managed my own business for over 25 years until my health meant I had to let go of the reins. This is all probably because my father was in the army, and he ended up Drill Sergeant. 
As for boundaries when having guys visit, then I am no push-over in that department, either. They can think they'll be able to manipulate me into doing what they want, but not a chance.
As back-up, my husband is always around as my bodyguard. He has thrown out a couple of people who tried to "stealth" me, and another who got far too rough. All were only just clothed by the time they were out the door! 
I am as compassionate as they come, but it shouldn't be read as being a pushover. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends. In the bedroom? 100%. Keep your digits to yourself unless it’s the right thing. Boundaries are important.
With cake? Absolute bloody mess and I have no will power. Tell me no? I’m eating the cake. Saving it for your partners birthday? I’m eating the cake. Laced with poison, laxatives and out of date? Well, see you in the next life, man… better put some paper down too because I’m eating that cake.
I do like cake. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
|
Holding boundaries can be really hard, but it is something we can work on and improve.
Might mean working with a trusted friend/partner to do that, or going to a workshop to actively work on it.
Is it people pleasing?
Is it fear?
Is it your conditioning?
It’s a huge subject, but working through it, is an interesting and awesome ride! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends. In many situations my natural people-pleasing (especially with regards to women I find attractive) means my boundaries aren't great and I can be pushed around a bit. On the other hand, when I realise I'm being taken advantage of or finally get fed up of it, I can become very obstinate and won't be moved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m generally good in all areas, with exception of my kids and ex who I’ll do literally anything for. It’s not a problem for me, I love helping them, even when it really hard I put them before me, but others see it a a problem "
This is basically me too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
xx
