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When do you know your marriage is failing
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For me, I didn’t see it at the time, bits working, kids, doing what needed doing, you talk, argue, sometimes roll over away from each other.
A few months later, it’s in the door, basically grunting at each other and you know it’s too far gone. |
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"What about when you think it’s a blip, when everything feels like if can go wrong and it does, but they don’t get it, I’m on the floor of the kids bedroom now"
Never think it’s a blip. Better talking to her than us to be honest. If you can fix it tonight by talking |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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For the long hall, not momentarily:
- when 1/both's priority isn't the success of you both as a unit
- when 1/both of you mentally checks out
- when 1/both of you breaks the trust or the boundaries
- when 1/both of you start living in your resentments of each other
- when 1/both of you is abusive in any way |
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When your brain has tied you to the bed once more, and you can't move because of the weight of your thoughts. When every day is filled with sadness. When you look at her and all you ask yourself is why.
When that happens it's time to join fab and shake that shit off. |
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2nd marriage here, first one we just knew the time was up, we married young and just grew up.
2nd marriage recently hit a very rocky patch, all down to me but we worked through it, we had a trial separation and I have to say it worked wonders for us, well me really as I had time to work out stuff in my head, we recently reconciled, some of the issues are still there and wouldn't say we are completely out of the woods yet but we are in a better place than we were 6 months ago, good luck OP x |
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"For the long hall, not momentarily:
- when 1/both's priority isn't the success of you both as a unit
- when 1/both of you mentally checks out
- when 1/both of you breaks the trust or the boundaries
- when 1/both of you start living in your resentments of each other
- when 1/both of you is abusive in any way"
Very much this |
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"U been through it"
Me? Let’s just say I’m life experienced and yeah, been there done that and bought the tshirt.
Better to have an awkward conversation than regret not speaking. Good luck to you bud. |
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I didn't till I was told it was over, but looking back:
-she didn't want to engage in conversation when we were apart (over phone etc)
-she only seemed excited about her plans, not our plans.
-Planning more on her own, putting you off coming along. |
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By *hrimper36Couple 30 weeks ago
Central France dept 36 |
I knew it was over when I drove her to the airport but for me life became so much better and wasn’t over but had just begun but only you know when your marriage is over.
Marriages end but life goes on.
Best of luck op.
T |
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For me it was when we stopped wanting the same things, life became separate and there wasn't a desire to spend time together in any regard. We tried but ultimately we had grown apart as things changed around us, was never my or her intent but didn't spot it until we couldn't go back.
We are really good friends now but just don't have the same goals, desires or any attraction. |
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"When you can't talk about the problems, when the sex dries up, when you just don't care anymore. "
This. Mostly when you just don't care.
When I stopped asking/talking/discussing/trying or even arguing back, he thought life was good. I was disengaging and mentally moving on.
When you just don't care enough to try and fix it, it is too late to fix.
MrsAbz |
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"
I’m on the floor of the kids bedroom now
"
You can’t stay there. You either get back in the room with your wife, or in a room in a separate house. You’re in the zombie zone.
Seriously, have a real discussion with your wife. Be frank, open and honest. Do it soon.
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"
I’m on the floor of the kids bedroom now
You can’t stay there. You either get back in the room with your wife, or in a room in a separate house. You’re in the zombie zone.
Seriously, have a real discussion with your wife. Be frank, open and honest. Do it soon.
"
Very sound advice. |
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"
I’m on the floor of the kids bedroom now
You can’t stay there. You either get back in the room with your wife, or in a room in a separate house. You’re in the zombie zone.
Seriously, have a real discussion with your wife. Be frank, open and honest. Do it soon.
Very sound advice."
^^^^^^ what they say and dont forget the impact of this on your children? talk - even if its to say how your feeling, and if its not heard, then you need to get a bed somewhere |
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"
I’m on the floor of the kids bedroom now
You can’t stay there. You either get back in the room with your wife, or in a room in a separate house. You’re in the zombie zone.
Seriously, have a real discussion with your wife. Be frank, open and honest. Do it soon.
Very sound advice.
^^^^^^ what they say and dont forget the impact of this on your children? talk - even if its to say how your feeling, and if its not heard, then you need to get a bed somewhere "
I think people often assume children have no idea what's going on with their parents. They do. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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When you discover they are cheating
When you are cheating
When they don't stop lying to you
When the sex stops.
When they treat you like sh*t
When they won't go to therapy
When they stop telling you they love you
When they are abusive
When they are bleeding you dry financially
When they are just a general c*nt
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"
I’m on the floor of the kids bedroom now
You can’t stay there. You either get back in the room with your wife, or in a room in a separate house. You’re in the zombie zone.
Seriously, have a real discussion with your wife. Be frank, open and honest. Do it soon.
Very sound advice.
^^^^^^ what they say and dont forget the impact of this on your children? talk - even if its to say how your feeling, and if its not heard, then you need to get a bed somewhere
I think people often assume children have no idea what's going on with their parents. They do. "
Yes, I certainly remember my parents arguments when we had gone to bed every evening until my Mother finally left us . It was a horrible time for us kids . |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"I dunno, kids, work - do you lose your mojo? When do you quit?
When your in the divorce courts and the CSA has attached your earnings
Mr "
It's possible to agree it all amicably if both are able to be grown up and out kids first. Sadly often one party isn't... lucky for me on my second divorce we agreed Ed everything without lawyers. |
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"I dunno, kids, work - do you lose your mojo? When do you quit?
When your in the divorce courts and the CSA has attached your earnings
Mr
It's possible to agree it all amicably if both are able to be grown up and out kids first. Sadly often one party isn't... lucky for me on my second divorce we agreed Ed everything without lawyers. "
I know it possible, tongue in cheek comment
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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When you fall asleep with your dick in your hand, you wake up to her taking pictures of you for evidence and your left eye, catches babe station still on the bedroom telly! |
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By *ragonbaitCouple 30 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
"
When I stopped asking/talking/discussing/trying or even arguing back, he thought life was good. I was disengaging and mentally moving on.
When you just don't care enough to try and fix it, it is too late to fix.
MrsAbz"
This is so true. When I told my kids, one of them said they were surprised it was now - if it had been a couple of years earlier they wouldn't have been surprised.
So yeah, we were getting on ok on a friend level, but there was no intimacy (his choice!) and it was killing me.
I knew I had to accept it was over when I went on dating sites and started chatting to men. |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman 30 weeks ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
When you’re no longer working as a team
When you stay later and later at the office no wanting to go home
When you have nothing to say and aren’t interested in what they say
I basically shut down, disengaged and silence took over
Slept in desperate rooms for months and it took my husband 7 months before he even asked me why I wouldn’t sleep with him |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"When you do anything to avoid going home after work"
Yup- long way home including a stop out of the way for a cig then steel yourself to head in.
A similar example would be if you have to fire someone when do you know? When you know you have to.
If you’re thinking it’s over then it probably is. |
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"I dunno, kids, work - do you lose your mojo? When do you quit?"
Mmmm, probably best seeking the help of a marriage councillor after some research and they feel that they are the right councillor to advise you. You can then talk more in-depth about things that are relevant to your specific situation and marriage to give you the best advice and guidance.  |
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