FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I don’t care what you think about me….
I don’t care what you think about me….
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I don’t care what you think about me…….
Actually that’s not true, of course I care.
Is not caring about other’s opinions of us admirable and strong, or is it a sign of arrogance and lacking introspection.
I know that the answer is in the middle and dependant on the person voicing their opinion and the validity of that opinion.
Therefore I’ve answered my own question, please disregard, if however you do wish to voice your opinion on this or any other topic, please be my guest.  |
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I care what the people who matter to me think about me.
The rest of them are pretty irrelevant.
I had a reminder recently that people don't just not 'like' me (which is of course absolutrly fine and normal), but actively dislike me when I have done nothing to or against them or anyone they associate with. I'm not going to worry myself about the opinions of those people or I'm going to spiral on the conviction that I must be a terrible person, which I and the people who know me know that I am not  |
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By *sWyldWoman 30 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I've spent far too many years worrying about what others may or may not think of me. Agonising to the point of missing out and believing I would only ever be a let down.
Now though, I feel that other people's opinions are only valid if I ask for them and if I value those they come from. I have no control over it, only my own feelings
Then I also remember that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
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"I care what the people who matter to me think about me.
The rest of them are pretty irrelevant.
I had a reminder recently that people don't just not 'like' me (which is of course absolutrly fine and normal), but actively dislike me when I have done nothing to or against them or anyone they associate with. I'm not going to worry myself about the opinions of those people or I'm going to spiral on the conviction that I must be a terrible person, which I and the people who know me know that I am not "
We are all different as they say. |
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"I've spent far too many years worrying about what others may or may not think of me. Agonising to the point of missing out and believing I would only ever be a let down.
Now though, I feel that other people's opinions are only valid if I ask for them and if I value those they come from. I have no control over it, only my own feelings
Then I also remember that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
"
I like that bit at the end in particular. |
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I don't care if anyone here thinks negatively about me, because I am just a name on a screen, like them, and the don't really know me.
In the unlikely event of someone thinking/speaking positively about me, I'd simply question their sanity. |
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"Is this one of your:
"If you notice this NOTICE, you will notice that this NOTICE is not worth noticing"
type of threads? 
·
I am guilty of that, but actually there is some discussion to be had. "
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Absolutely! You enrich us dear chap.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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People that don't know me, such as here. Could. Not. Care. Less.
I think people try so hard to be nice and the whole be kind crap just becomes insincere and bloody annoying.
People that I've spoken to and know me I think like me, I think, so I'm ok with that. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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In my experience it’s the people who say they don’t care who care the most! Stands to reason that if you care enough to say that you don’t care, especially on a silly internet forum, then, ummmm…  |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"In my experience it’s the people who say they don’t care who care the most! Stands to reason that if you care enough to say that you don’t care, especially on a silly internet forum, then, ummmm… "
Errrrr....bollocks |
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"Is this one of your:
"If you notice this NOTICE, you will notice that this NOTICE is not worth noticing"
type of threads?
·
I am guilty of that, but actually there is some discussion to be had.
•
Absolutely! You enrich us dear chap. "
I get those gravy granules from Aldi for that, they’re great the chicken gravy has zero chicken ingredients. |
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I like you Fiddle 
i was reminded today that other people have their own agenda, if they actually cared as much as they say they do they would speak to you before blasting you to everyone else.
I try not to care what people thing about me too much, but it is hard, especially when there is a lot of other things going on at the same time and the focus of that persons words are squewed.
Yea i care what people think of me, but I try not to let it bother me too much, I am very good at shutting people off,
and god i have wibbled on again because this has been a wibbling kind of week !  |
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"I like you Fiddle
i was reminded today that other people have their own agenda, if they actually cared as much as they say they do they would speak to you before blasting you to everyone else.
I try not to care what people thing about me too much, but it is hard, especially when there is a lot of other things going on at the same time and the focus of that persons words are squewed.
Yea i care what people think of me, but I try not to let it bother me too much, I am very good at shutting people off,
and god i have wibbled on again because this has been a wibbling kind of week ! "
Well I hope the wibbling week quietens down. |
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By *eliWoman 30 weeks ago
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I think that if people say they don't care, full stop, they're talking utter bollocks.
Of course people care, to varying degrees, dependent on their relationship, their self esteem levels, their mood on that particular day.
And there's nothing wrong with that. I care about how those I like view me. If they thought I was a throbber? Well I'd try and work out if I am actually being a giant throbber.
There's a middle ground to be found between being distraught if a random person doesn't like you to not giving a hoot as to what anyone thinks and "saying it like it is". |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"In my experience it’s the people who say they don’t care who care the most! Stands to reason that if you care enough to say that you don’t care, especially on a silly internet forum, then, ummmm…
Errrrr....bollocks"
You can ask , but boobs first…  |
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I've always cared what the people I love think about me and to an extent my employers as far as my work was concerned.
However I know that I really can't influence what other people feel about me. This doesn't mean I'll deliberately go out of my way to upset anyone or that I don't feel bad if I've done so unintentionally. It does mean that if someone doesn't like me I don't try to change their mind. |
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"I think that if people say they don't care, full stop, they're talking utter bollocks.
Of course people care, to varying degrees, dependent on their relationship, their self esteem levels, their mood on that particular day.
And there's nothing wrong with that. I care about how those I like view me. If they thought I was a throbber? Well I'd try and work out if I am actually being a giant throbber.
There's a middle ground to be found between being distraught if a random person doesn't like you to not giving a hoot as to what anyone thinks and "saying it like it is"."
i find that i can be more inadvertently effected by the stranger hideous comments than than possibly someone I know, maybe because people I know are less likely to be hideous with their comments!
I find im more likely to chunter on about why did they say that, what made them say that, they dont know me where have they found that information ..... |
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Do I care about Fiddlesticks as a human to not intentionally cause him harm? Of course I do.
Do I care that if Fiddlesticks disagrees with me on something that it is going to irrevocably upset my life? Of course I don’t.
I care about Fiddlesticks and I don’t care about Fiddlesticks. |
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"Do I care about Fiddlesticks as a human to not intentionally cause him harm? Of course I do.
Do I care that if Fiddlesticks disagrees with me on something that it is going to irrevocably upset my life? Of course I don’t.
I care about Fiddlesticks and I don’t care about Fiddlesticks. "
Schrodinger's Fiddlesticks? |
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Like others, I do care what people think of me but only those I actually know or more importantly those who know me.
I've always found that those who like to shout that they don't give a fuck what people think of them are usually the same people who don't give a fuck what they say to others regardless of the consequences.
The "I'm a cunt, deal with it!" attitude isn't one of confidence.
It actually comes from a place filled with insecurity where they have to be the loudest or the hardest one in the room and their greatest fear is not being seen. |
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As my friends say “ you love the man, you have to learn to love the cunt “
I change for nobody ( well actually except for my mum and mrs, but that’s only because I have the most respect someone can give a person )
I’m not here to impress people, fuck life I’m here to entertain myself.
The mr |
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"Do I care about Fiddlesticks as a human to not intentionally cause him harm? Of course I do.
Do I care that if Fiddlesticks disagrees with me on something that it is going to irrevocably upset my life? Of course I don’t.
I care about Fiddlesticks and I don’t care about Fiddlesticks. "
That’s very well put, but it’s easy for you to say, you’re very well hung damn you. |
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"Do I care about Fiddlesticks as a human to not intentionally cause him harm? Of course I do.
Do I care that if Fiddlesticks disagrees with me on something that it is going to irrevocably upset my life? Of course I don’t.
I care about Fiddlesticks and I don’t care about Fiddlesticks.
Schrodinger's Fiddlesticks? "
Schrodinger’s?
Not at all, it’s a bit of a rash, it will be cleared up in a week or two. |
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We are all social animals and like to be accepted into a group and adjust our behaviours accordingly ........
BUT as an individual I have values and boundaries and I will not lower them
e.g. sometimes the group or relationship will cause us to change and sometimes we see that the change would be unacceptable to us and we don't change.
So sometimes it matter to me and most times it doesn't |
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By *bi HaiveMan 30 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
On here I care only to the extent that I'd be curious as to why someone made any kind assessment of me without really knowing me.
People I know well? Of course I care. We all do when it comes to friends, family and colleagues, even if we like to think sometimes that we don't. |
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By *ustBoWoman 30 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I care about what people think of me,if they are people I care about. Their opinion matters to me.
People I don't know then no I don't really care what they think of me. Maybe years ago when I was younger it would have mattered but as I have grown older I realise it really doesn't matter what random people think of me. I am not here to be a people pleaser or be nice to people to try and change their opinion of me. If they don't like me it's fine just leave me alone then. Makes life so much easier . |
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"On here I care only to the extent that I'd be curious as to why someone made any kind assessment of me without really knowing me.
People I know well? Of course I care. We all do when it comes to friends, family and colleagues, even if we like to think sometimes that we don't. "
Your first sentence is something that puzzled me for some time. I soon learned that it's 'their' problem and not mine. |
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By *rispyDuckMan 30 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
With loved one’s I care if they think I’m a good brother, son or friend.
At work I care if my work colleagues think I’m a valuable member of the team.
Outside these two areas it’s all about context
On fab I care that my meets think I’m a decent person, a good laugh & they feel safe and comfortable around me. On forums well  haha let’s just say I don’t loose sleep over people’s opinions |
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We live in a society. Of course everyone cares about what others think, albeit at a different scale. End of the day, everyone has non-negotiables, things they are willing to sacrifice for loved ones, things they are willing to sacrifice for different people who they don't even know. Depending on how important it is to them, they will adjust/not-adjust for the sake of others. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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I mainly care what my loved ones think of me!.
But I’ve also learned that words do hurt ( a lot of people). To the extent that some have been in such a state over it.
I’ve seen first hand, so would I say anything horrible in any way? No.
I’ve learned it’s not worth biting back.
Mrs x |
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