FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you let negative things effect you?
Do you let negative things effect you?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *hagTonight OP Man 36 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
There are things that happen all around you and then it is up to you to let them, kind of upset your internal zen as it were, so, when it comes to stuff like that. I try my best to ignore it.
Lets put it in another way, you only have so much mental capacity in a day, so if you are wasting half of it listening to random drama and silly gossip and stuff that kind of are mindless, by the time you get to the things you want to focus on and enjoy, like working out, you are already zapped.
I mean we have all been there, when your head is not in the game, because you have real life things going on and that is typically not when you are going to have the best workout, you know. I am relating it to lifting, but it just goes for anything, you probably wont have a good day at school, work, or whatever else, if you kind of are constantly subjected to the negativity that is around you, think of this quote , a ship only sinks once the water around it gets inside.
What is your view about it and what do you do, do you let it effect you? I try my best to ignore it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It depends if it's just general randomers drama/negativity then no it doesn't affect me but if it's family or close friends then yeah it does I tend to be more empathetic and soak it all in which isn't great.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am a glass half full person and naturally optimistic. Crap happens in life but that is life and it is how you respond that matters. Negative people tend to like to wallow in the crap and I can’t be bothered with that behaviour. If something (or someone) isn’t working then I tend to try some other approach and just move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
|
"There are things that happen all around you and then it is up to you to let them, kind of upset your internal zen as it were, so, when it comes to stuff like that. I try my best to ignore it.
Lets put it in another way, you only have so much mental capacity in a day, so if you are wasting half of it listening to random drama and silly gossip and stuff that kind of are mindless, by the time you get to the things you want to focus on and enjoy, like working out, you are already zapped.
I mean we have all been there, when your head is not in the game, because you have real life things going on and that is typically not when you are going to have the best workout, you know. I am relating it to lifting, but it just goes for anything, you probably wont have a good day at school, work, or whatever else, if you kind of are constantly subjected to the negativity that is around you, think of this quote , a ship only sinks once the water around it gets inside.
What is your view about it and what do you do, do you let it effect you? I try my best to ignore it "
Ignore drama on fab you mean  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 36 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It depends if it's just general randomers drama/negativity then no it doesn't affect me but if it's family or close friends then yeah it does I tend to be more empathetic and soak it all in which isn't great.
Mrs "
Yes, you are right there, it also depends what it is too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I try not to get involved in FAB drama, i use chat a bit too, that can be worse for it.
I try to look at and resolve issues before they become too negative, not alaway easy.
I find people drawn to me for my positivity and energy, and that can be really draining. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In my last job I was surrounded by negative people. It's exhausting and soul destroying keeping that energy at bay. You'll never change people whose negativity is entrenched so you have to protect yourself from it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. '  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. ' "
It could be worse but I couldn’t 100% gloom it all the time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. ' "
Hate it when you get days like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't get involved in other people's dramas.
When life throws a spanner in the works I let the anger/annoyance sit for a short while then I close the lid on it and move on. Life's too short to be mulling shit over and over. Although it's taken me a while to realise this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. '
It could be worse but I couldn’t 100% gloom it all the time "
I have being negative, it's just not good for a person. Equally though I really get fed up of I want to get something off my chest and someone minimises it by telling me to look on the bright side. Sometimes we all need a bit of a moan and for someone to say
"Yeah, it's crap isn't it" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. '
Hate it when you get days like that. "
Me too. House destroying tornadoes are the worst  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I love Mark Rylance’s character in Bridge of Spies, when confronted by challenges such as why he wasn’t getting angry that he could face the death penalty for spying, his reply is simply
Would it help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. '
It could be worse but I couldn’t 100% gloom it all the time
I have being negative, it's just not good for a person. Equally though I really get fed up of I want to get something off my chest and someone minimises it by telling me to look on the bright side. Sometimes we all need a bit of a moan and for someone to say
"Yeah, it's crap isn't it""
*hate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sWyldWoman 36 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
In life, everyone carries an invisible back pack of stuff. Sometimes it's a small bag and sometimes it's a huge weight. It contains our emotions, feelings, experiences, memories, problems, joys, our health and pretty much everything.
It effects everything we do, how we make decisions, how we respond to others and situations.
Sometimes our backpacks are really full and we don't even realise it until something spills out.
And we never know what other people are carrying in theirs.
I usually find things effect me more when my backpack is too full. It can be really trivial things that upset me, that ordinarily wouldn't. That's when I know I need to look at what I'm carrying.
It's also why we should all be a little more patient and kinder to others.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this now but it feels relevant!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 36 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"There are things that happen all around you and then it is up to you to let them, kind of upset your internal zen as it were, so, when it comes to stuff like that. I try my best to ignore it.
Lets put it in another way, you only have so much mental capacity in a day, so if you are wasting half of it listening to random drama and silly gossip and stuff that kind of are mindless, by the time you get to the things you want to focus on and enjoy, like working out, you are already zapped.
I mean we have all been there, when your head is not in the game, because you have real life things going on and that is typically not when you are going to have the best workout, you know. I am relating it to lifting, but it just goes for anything, you probably wont have a good day at school, work, or whatever else, if you kind of are constantly subjected to the negativity that is around you, think of this quote , a ship only sinks once the water around it gets inside.
What is your view about it and what do you do, do you let it effect you? I try my best to ignore it
Ignore drama on fab you mean "
Hi becs, it could be drama from here or anywhere too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I try my very best these days to remove negativity from my life.
Media, news, people, family.
I have found that my mental health is so much more stable as a result.
Still have elements regarding work, and my working environment. But I'm working on that.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have to say that relentless positivity is as bad as relentless negativity.
'Oh, your house was destroyed by a tornado on the very day you forgot to renew your insurance, your partner left, your children hate you and the car failed it's mot? Never mind, you must look for the positives in this and smile. '
It could be worse but I couldn’t 100% gloom it all the time
I have being negative, it's just not good for a person. Equally though I really get fed up of I want to get something off my chest and someone minimises it by telling me to look on the bright side. Sometimes we all need a bit of a moan and for someone to say
"Yeah, it's crap isn't it"
*hate "
I have a good swear, rant, moan but I guess it’s getting it out to be able to find positives in other things.
I wish I was better at it too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 36 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I try not to get involved in FAB drama, i use chat a bit too, that can be worse for it.
I try to look at and resolve issues before they become too negative, not alaway easy.
I find people drawn to me for my positivity and energy, and that can be really draining. "
Hi gottogiggle, that is good that you also try not to get involved in the dram and those are also good points |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 36 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"In my last job I was surrounded by negative people. It's exhausting and soul destroying keeping that energy at bay. You'll never change people whose negativity is entrenched so you have to protect yourself from it. "
Yes, you are right there, you cant change them, so you have to protect yourself from it too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 36 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I don't get involved in other people's dramas.
When life throws a spanner in the works I let the anger/annoyance sit for a short while then I close the lid on it and move on. Life's too short to be mulling shit over and over. Although it's taken me a while to realise this."
Hi miss, that is good you dont get involved in other peoples drama, those are also good points too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Oh god I'm the worst for letting things get to me, if I get a negative comment at work I really let it bother me but what I do try and do is make sure it never happens again, even though deep down I wish I never got it in the first place x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
|
Sometimes you cant help it. I'm a sensitive soul, an empath if you like and a negative atmosphere affects me.
I actually use that energy to have a good workout, work through it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Much of what you describe is personality things like adjustment , sensitivity
, volatility, need for stability are predominantly fixed (around 70-80%) in most people.
Being aware your personality is the key , knowing your triggers derailers, and how to manage it, designing your life, work, personal life around it.
There are some positives and there’s some techniques taught like ‘circle of concern’ and saying no , but generally they don’t work because personality cannot be significantly changed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
|
Silly gossip and small drama is easy, and I mean VERY easy for me to ignore, because it’s mainly wrapped up with lies and stuff that’s built to entertain them and NOT me. 
Other real life stuff does bother me, and does consume my concentration. I know when it’s happening now. I used to be able to do many things, but I’ve picked up a trait which I’m managing quite well. It just slows me down doing stuff.
So, I try to shake stuff off, realise what I CAN do about things and get in with stuff. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am a bit of an empath which does not help. More so in-person but it can be hard to shake off the stuff you absorb from others.
If it’s simply online drama or drama that doesn’t affect me, no. But we’ve a hectic, responsibility filled vanilla life so yes, I can let the real stuff get to me every once in a while. And I find that’s when online stuff hits a little…when you’re already on the struggle bus with real world sh*t you just want the online time to be a fun way of escapism not a negative space
- Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 35 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Oh god I'm the worst for letting things get to me, if I get a negative comment at work I really let it bother me but what I do try and do is make sure it never happens again, even though deep down I wish I never got it in the first place x"
That is good to try to do that, so it never happens again as well x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
i once had a supervisor say to me that its all about what you need to let in and what you can let go of without any impact :
think of a wall in front of you and everything that is thrown your way is stopped by the wall. You can then look at what is there, take out any bits that are possibly relative and then bin the rest.
People often say things without allowing it to process - my recent meet was a grrrrrrrrr moment because it was irritating, but i did the grrrrr - spoke with my besty about the great meets that i have and now its all done and dusted.
Think we are our own worse enemy's allowing stuff to hit us that really is someone else's issues and they are randomly firing off at everyone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 34 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"i once had a supervisor say to me that its all about what you need to let in and what you can let go of without any impact :
think of a wall in front of you and everything that is thrown your way is stopped by the wall. You can then look at what is there, take out any bits that are possibly relative and then bin the rest.
People often say things without allowing it to process - my recent meet was a grrrrrrrrr moment because it was irritating, but i did the grrrrr - spoke with my besty about the great meets that i have and now its all done and dusted.
Think we are our own worse enemy's allowing stuff to hit us that really is someone else's issues and they are randomly firing off at everyone else. "
Hi gottogiggle, that is a good saying too and yes, you are right there, those are good points as well |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
|
My problem is a care too much and I try not to. It makes me feel bad when people around me on are dealing with bad things, I'm drawn in to offer support like I'm hard wired to.
I'm slowly learning to turn a blind eye and focus on myself for a change, and that's gone to lengths as far as drastically reducing my 'circle' to eliminate all that endless crap you'd see when death scrolling Facebook, being passive with support so I don't become too invested in someone else solving a problem in their own life and disregarding what I need to be doing for myself.
Life is too complicated and short to have everyone's back lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
