FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What have you learnt from Attending the clubs?
What have you learnt from Attending the clubs?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"That its a close knit society  it's not honestly this stab each covering the back I wish I never went to any club"
if I could go back and change it I would have never gone to a club |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Me that people are shallow fickle repetitive users liars
Sounds like there’s something you want to say, here?"
I've already said what I have to say on this post |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Me that people are shallow fickle repetitive users liars
Sounds like there’s something you want to say, here? I've already said what I have to say on this post"
that's just my experience of clubs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Me that people are shallow fickle repetitive users liars
Sounds like there’s something you want to say, here? I've already said what I have to say on this post that's just my experience of clubs"
and I have had a lot of experience as well of different clubs |
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"Me that people are shallow fickle repetitive users liars
Sounds like there’s something you want to say, here? I've already said what I have to say on this post that's just my experience of clubs and I have had a lot of experience as well of different clubs"
If it was so bad, why did you go to so many? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"So many people (men mainly) have no social skills and don't understand etiquette."
that's so true the amount of weird men that I had come up to me in a club and just sat down no conversation did make me cringe
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"So many people (men mainly) have no social skills and don't understand etiquette. that's so true the amount of weird men that I had come up to me in a club and just sat down no conversation did make me cringe"
I let myself down by letting men use me and sleep with men that I wasn't attracted to
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Me that people are shallow fickle repetitive users liars
Sounds like there’s something you want to say, here? I've already said what I have to say on this post that's just my experience of clubs and I have had a lot of experience as well of different clubs
If it was so bad, why did you go to so many?"
because I didn't think that at the time but I do now people change I stopped going to the clubs four months ago and I will never ever go again it's affected me so much |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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That it’s pretty difficult to mingle in amongst a bunch of ‘friends’.
Although still had a good night, but could have had that night anywhere. Cheaper.
Mrs |
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Bi nights are the most fun.
No two nights are the same.
Club staff are very good at dealing with pests (well certainly the clubs I go to)
Don’t (or do) be the only TV in a club when they experiment having a Tgirl afternoon event. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc"
it will come back to haunt them one day
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By *oxy jWoman 24 weeks ago
somerset |
that they can be very hit n miss...
most clubs have that section of ''its our club'' and ''we are special'' whiles looking like utter twats ...
most of the problems are not single men but indeed male halfs of couples ... d*unk women and women who think its ok to touch who they want yet if done to them they moan ...
the wanking dead are so very easy to deal with .....
nearly all my meets with guys in private are from guys ive met and chatted with in clubs ...
avoid clubs who serve food and avoid those who stuff there faces ....
never mix fab life with club life we learnt that very quick apart from our closest swinging friends and they do the same it stops alot of the back stabbing bitching that goes on ...we know loads who think we are too blunt on line who wont leave us alone in clubs not that we would anyway ....
if your a guy whos been abusive online or let someone down and those people go clubbing then you will be well known amongst couples by the end of the night lol
i could go on lol but we still enjoy clubs had some very very good nights and met some very hot men too nobody should be put off with clubs just dont let people walk all over you that includes couples and women as well as men ... |
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That if you go with a pinch of confidence you’ll have a great time.
That your visit will be shit if you make zero effort to speak to people and break down the imaginary barriers that the cliquey people have formed.
That 99% of wanking dead and those with minimal etiquette will move on with a verbal ‘no thanks’ or raise of the hand in a ‘stop’ fashion.
That 1% of single guys need a more obvious ‘fuck off’ and very nearly an ejection by Mrs WW wearing lingerie
And that our likes and things we are willing to try are constantly evolving
What was the question again?
Xx
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I've found that they are great places to meet like minded people and make life long friends
They are no pressure... and I've learnt that being me is all good.
There are good and bad in all walks of life. X
During covid I realised id be lost without clubs |
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By *bi HaiveMan 24 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"??"
That clubs can be great, but they're not for everyone.
Sometimes it's not the club at fault when someone has a bad experience. They're just bricks and mortar, fixtures and fitting after all.
People make a good club. |
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc"
why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home "
you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex"
I work with a lot of young girls in my job and if I found out that they was in the lifestyle I'll be so good for them because I know they can do better |
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What have I learnt during my times at clubs?
Glory holes aren't for me for fear of getting a smelly one (and the fact I couldn't identify my own husband's cock in my mouth)
I prefer mixed nights over couples and single ladies nights
And lastly I prefer a club without a membership as I have undiagnosed ADHD and autism and I prefer somewhere I can just drop in and out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex I work with a lot of young girls in my job and if I found out that they was in the lifestyle I'll be so good for them because I know they can do better"
and who you gonna talk to in the nursing home talking about sexual stories be real now it's not going to happen is it |
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex"
Been used by men? Consent is key here. |
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex"
This is a very judgemental and close minded view. If any guy I was interested in was put off by the fact I'd been to sex clubs I'd tell him to do one as he wasn't for me anyway. I prefer more liberated and open minded people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex I work with a lot of young girls in my job and if I found out that they was in the lifestyle I'll be so good for them because I know they can do better"
I meant to say I will be so gutted for them I know they can do better |
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They're good places to meet like minded people, frankly beats meeting vanilla women on match.
We are all consenting adults, as long as no one is pushing you into doing something you don't want to do.
Why should we be ashamed of having sexual desire? It's what makes us human. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"They're good places to meet like minded people, frankly beats meeting vanilla women on match.
We are all consenting adults, as long as no one is pushing you into doing something you don't want to do.
Why should we be ashamed of having sexual desire? It's what makes us human."
all these pathetic terms vanilla unicorn it's all just b******* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"They're good places to meet like minded people, frankly beats meeting vanilla women on match.
We are all consenting adults, as long as no one is pushing you into doing something you don't want to do.
Why should we be ashamed of having sexual desire? It's what makes us human. all these pathetic terms vanilla unicorn it's all just b*******"
what's just adults got to do with anything we all make mistakes as adults |
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex I work with a lot of young girls in my job and if I found out that they was in the lifestyle I'll be so good for them because I know they can do better and who you gonna talk to in the nursing home talking about sexual stories be real now it's not going to happen is it"
oh trust me.. they do. we had a former pro domme in a home I was working at. Her stories were brilliant.
And yes I am quite proud of my gb in my younger years. Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
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"They're good places to meet like minded people, frankly beats meeting vanilla women on match.
We are all consenting adults, as long as no one is pushing you into doing something you don't want to do.
Why should we be ashamed of having sexual desire? It's what makes us human."
 Totally this x x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex I work with a lot of young girls in my job and if I found out that they was in the lifestyle I'll be so good for them because I know they can do better and who you gonna talk to in the nursing home talking about sexual stories be real now it's not going to happen is it oh trust me.. they do. we had a former pro domme in a home I was working at. Her stories were brilliant.
And yes I am quite proud of my gb in my younger years. Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
"
why would you want to start telling everyone in the nursing home what you've done in your younger years sexually he wants to hear that really nothing to do with being judgmental |
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"They're good places to meet like minded people, frankly beats meeting vanilla women on match.
We are all consenting adults, as long as no one is pushing you into doing something you don't want to do.
Why should we be ashamed of having sexual desire? It's what makes us human. all these pathetic terms vanilla unicorn it's all just b******* what's just adults got to do with anything we all make mistakes as adults"
It sounds like you had some really bad experiences, and maybe you need to find a way of working through them with someone who can listen properly to what you have to say.
Having said that, just because you had bad experiences, it doesn’t mean that everyone will and judging them that way isn’t helpful.
I hope you can get some support and get through it. |
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By *eco65Man 24 weeks ago
London |
"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
"
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. |
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"That single guys can be pushy! We only attend on couples/ single ladies nights because of that! X"
yet i wouldn't attend couples / single ladies nights when I was a single lady as I found couples and women much more pushy, than any guys I've ever come across. X
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. "
what a load of b******* I observe people and realize how fickle people really are |
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"That single guys can be pushy! We only attend on couples/ single ladies nights because of that! X yet i wouldn't attend couples / single ladies nights when I was a single lady as I found couples and women much more pushy, than any guys I've ever come across. X"
Same for me on this one. X |
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. "
I've had bad experiences in life. It doesn't make me judge others or suggest that all people that do one thing are going to regret it.
I've always taken newbies under my wings at clubs and looked our for them. Made sure they don't do anything they are not comfortable with. To be honest though. I don't do many private meets as had some pretty horrendous experiences there... but I know that I can't judge all on those negative encounters.
I wouldn't be meeting privately as a single female
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Not for everyone. Every club I've been to has been couples one side of the building and singles on the other, not much interaction. I prefer smaller events. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. "
no I not got an attitude or judgemental it's what I think and and observed of me going to swingers clubs and if people don't like what I have to say just being real and honest about what I've experienced in the swingers clubs |
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. what a load of b******* I observe people and realize how fickle people really are"
there are fickle people everywhere... I've just learnt to mostly avoid them
Yet I've got life long friends from the lifestyle. We are no different from friends formed anywhere else.. except perhaps I've had sex with them at some point. We all have each others back. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. no I not got an attitude or judgemental it's what I think and and observed of me going to swingers clubs and if people don't like what I have to say just being real and honest about what I've experienced in the swingers clubs"
and today there will be a lot of people thinking about starting going to clubs and a lot of people be thinking about stop going to gloves don't put someone down just because they don't want to be in the lifestyle no more |
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"They're good places to meet like minded people, frankly beats meeting vanilla women on match.
We are all consenting adults, as long as no one is pushing you into doing something you don't want to do.
Why should we be ashamed of having sexual desire? It's what makes us human. all these pathetic terms vanilla unicorn it's all just b******* what's just adults got to do with anything we all make mistakes as adults"
We can make mistakes OP, but we're not all the same, we each have our own history, and what drives us. You may have regrets over your previous dalliances, but that doesn't mean all other women will too. On the contrary I think many will enjoy boasting in their care homes about their sexual liberation. We're all different. |
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc it will come back to haunt them one day "
This is a ridiculous statement...coming from a woman as well  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. no I not got an attitude or judgemental it's what I think and and observed of me going to swingers clubs and if people don't like what I have to say just being real and honest about what I've experienced in the swingers clubs and today there will be a lot of people thinking about starting going to clubs and a lot of people be thinking about stop going to gloves don't put someone down just because they don't want to be in the lifestyle no more"
I'm just looking to use fab socially to meet a friend with benefits I just don't want to attend clubs anymore it's everybody's own choice what they do |
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that a guy grinning at you and moving towards you head first, with outstretched hand is going to place it on you boobs, bum or inbetween you legs, as you scoot backwards he will grin and say its all right enn it - er no mate - get off!!
Single guys congregate in groups at the narrowest points, usually at the top of the stairs and with one standing either side, will push you into their hands if you havent perfected the scoup, duck and slide -
and the most annoying thing - drink - alcohol is allowed in vast quantities and the for mentioned lurkers will slide a hand down your back, and when you say oy, they will say its the alcohol - well it will be the alcohol over your head if the 'alcohol does it again'
and the hot tub is like playing hot lava as a kid - jumping over legs and avoiding those extra hands - went with a guy who developed 3 hands and it wasnt until the owner of the 3rd hand had it forcibly removed did it stop - and he just grinned.
some single guys are not nice - but some are - i dont stay late - too much alcohol for my liking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"that a guy grinning at you and moving towards you head first, with outstretched hand is going to place it on you boobs, bum or inbetween you legs, as you scoot backwards he will grin and say its all right enn it - er no mate - get off!!
Single guys congregate in groups at the narrowest points, usually at the top of the stairs and with one standing either side, will push you into their hands if you havent perfected the scoup, duck and slide -
and the most annoying thing - drink - alcohol is allowed in vast quantities and the for mentioned lurkers will slide a hand down your back, and when you say oy, they will say its the alcohol - well it will be the alcohol over your head if the 'alcohol does it again'
and the hot tub is like playing hot lava as a kid - jumping over legs and avoiding those extra hands - went with a guy who developed 3 hands and it wasnt until the owner of the 3rd hand had it forcibly removed did it stop - and he just grinned.
some single guys are not nice - but some are - i dont stay late - too much alcohol for my liking"
spot on |
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"that a guy grinning at you and moving towards you head first, with outstretched hand is going to place it on you boobs, bum or inbetween you legs, as you scoot backwards he will grin and say its all right enn it - er no mate - get off!!
Single guys congregate in groups at the narrowest points, usually at the top of the stairs and with one standing either side, will push you into their hands if you havent perfected the scoup, duck and slide -
and the most annoying thing - drink - alcohol is allowed in vast quantities and the for mentioned lurkers will slide a hand down your back, and when you say oy, they will say its the alcohol - well it will be the alcohol over your head if the 'alcohol does it again'
and the hot tub is like playing hot lava as a kid - jumping over legs and avoiding those extra hands - went with a guy who developed 3 hands and it wasnt until the owner of the 3rd hand had it forcibly removed did it stop - and he just grinned.
some single guys are not nice - but some are - i dont stay late - too much alcohol for my liking"
Agree on the alcohol point but that and sex do not mix. I don't drink so the idea of chatting anyone up who's been drinking just feels predatory as fuck  |
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"They're very inaccessible to disabled people 
Any new club opening shouldn't be now.
I'm not aware of any new ones that are accessible. We know about Quest but that's about it. "
I mean that any new ones will have to be x |
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"that a guy grinning at you and moving towards you head first, with outstretched hand is going to place it on you boobs, bum or inbetween you legs, as you scoot backwards he will grin and say its all right enn it - er no mate - get off!!
Single guys congregate in groups at the narrowest points, usually at the top of the stairs and with one standing either side, will push you into their hands if you havent perfected the scoup, duck and slide -
and the most annoying thing - drink - alcohol is allowed in vast quantities and the for mentioned lurkers will slide a hand down your back, and when you say oy, they will say its the alcohol - well it will be the alcohol over your head if the 'alcohol does it again'
and the hot tub is like playing hot lava as a kid - jumping over legs and avoiding those extra hands - went with a guy who developed 3 hands and it wasnt until the owner of the 3rd hand had it forcibly removed did it stop - and he just grinned.
some single guys are not nice - but some are - i dont stay late - too much alcohol for my liking
Agree on the alcohol point but that and sex do not mix. I don't drink so the idea of chatting anyone up who's been drinking just feels predatory as fuck "
totally agree with you - the guys described are blaming the alcohol for their lack of waiting for consent - yet they take their own as where I go is not licenced. I drink mainly latte or tea - there is no need for the quantity of alcohol being consumed |
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"Your attitude comes across as very judgemental on women that like lots of sex. I've got friends that have left the lifestyle and don't regret their earlier funtimes.
I think there's potentially some ptsd from poor experiences in clubs, rather than intentionally casting judgement, although tbf I totally get why you say that. no I not got an attitude or judgemental it's what I think and and observed of me going to swingers clubs and if people don't like what I have to say just being real and honest about what I've experienced in the swingers clubs and today there will be a lot of people thinking about starting going to clubs and a lot of people be thinking about stop going to gloves don't put someone down just because they don't want to be in the lifestyle no more I'm just looking to use fab socially to meet a friend with benefits I just don't want to attend clubs anymore it's everybody's own choice what they do"
Exactly…all about choice and not judging others choices. For me clubs are about friendships too.
I wouldn’t meet privately anymore. It’s just not a sensible thing to do in my eyes, safety for me is a key point. |
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Witnessed a guy being assaulted by a woman who was upset about his previous weeks jokes/ teasing aimed at his wife. He went to report the lady to the management and was followed by her. I was told she shoved him while near the bar and he knocked into someone and was told to leave.
Shame as they were great fun to chat with. Everyone else stuck to their small groups, so I called it a night and haven’t been to one since. |
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"They're very inaccessible to disabled people "
i did think this at the few i have been too - no consideration given to anything less than able bodied. I dont know how they can justify it, so many stairs if nothing else.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"Glad I haven't been to whichever clubs this lot have been to   into several clubs"
they are all the same to be honest once you've been to one club you've been to them all |
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"Not for me one was really naff, like Butlins on steroids. The other was OK, music, decour ect but single men were very very 'handsy'"
Go to a couples night, VA is a great one, no one touches without consent on couples night. I guess it depends where you go |
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"Glad I haven't been to whichever clubs this lot have been to into several clubs they are all the same to be honest once you've been to one club you've been to them all "
That would be like saying all supermarkets are the same. Not true at all. Some are great, some are dire. Just got to find the clubs and/or events that suit you. |
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"They are an escape from everyday life and a lot of fun. really if you say so
Yes, been to a few, all very different but all enjoyable."
Same with us. Never had what I'd call a bad night.. been attending some for well over 20 years. I've had more handsy guys in every day life than at a club in all honesty.
I'd be Less worried about my daughters if they were attending a swing club than if they said they were off down town.
Yes you get those that drink to much and the odd person that doesn't seem to get the ask before touching but on the whole I've always felt safe in clubs and it's always no pressure.
I've been to many many clubs as has Mr... x |
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By *reya73Woman 24 weeks ago
Whitley Bay |
It's a lovely thing to see people sexually and sensually free. No matter what shape, colour, age, gender etc.
Accessability is terrible (in the few ones I've been in). I cant see it's so dark.. If you have a disability or use a wheelchair.. You ain't getting in to the play rooms!
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I feel much safer in a club than I do meeting some rando from a vanilla swipey app.
Building a community of likeminded people and hearing their experiences has been great.
It’s not all positive, but I’m choosing to focus on that while it outweighs the negative  |
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OP, what was the point in asking the question if all you wanted to do was vent?
Anybody who’s dared to express an opinion contrary to your own experience you’ve basically trashed!
You’ve clearly had some bad experiences within the club scene, I’m sure we’d all agree that’s unfortunate and totally contrary to most people’s positive interactions.
I’d suggest for your own mental health to give the entire swinging scene a miss for a while and definitely clubs; hope you find some peace and be well. |
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I’ve been to every club in the UK and several in Europe as a single guy and for about a decade as a couple.
Genuinely never had a bad experience, yes, some very quiet nights and the occasional very odd night but it’s always the people that create rhe vibe.
Mind you, the wanking dead should be thrown outside naked and the door closed behind them  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 24 weeks ago
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"OP, what was the point in asking the question if all you wanted to do was vent?
Anybody who’s dared to express an opinion contrary to your own experience you’ve basically trashed!
You’ve clearly had some bad experiences within the club scene, I’m sure we’d all agree that’s unfortunate and totally contrary to most people’s positive interactions.
I’d suggest for your own mental health to give the entire swinging scene a miss for a while and definitely clubs; hope you find some peace and be well."
my mental health is fine most of the men I n a club not attracted to they make me cringe |
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"I look at the young girls that go to these clubs in their early twenties and I feel sorry for them because one day the look back and think what the hell was I doing when they want to start a family settle down in the relationship get married etc why would they look back and regret it and why would it affect them settling down and having a family. .. I've been in the lifestyle for 30 years year.
I've learnt a lot and yes sometimes maybe slept with people that now with hindsight but I've never had many issues really. And those I did have were dealt with quickly. In fact my worst incident of being made to feel unsafe and pushy guys happened in a normal night club.. in a swing club it wouldn't have happened.
I look back and things I've done and think to myself yay.. go me.
If you enjoyed yourself don't worry about it.... at least you have fun tales to tell in your nursing home you mean being used I talking about young woman that don't want to stay in lifestyle it would put a lot of men off who are not in the lifestyle in settling down with that person and having a relationship and children and getting married you can have fun other ways and not be used by men that you wouldn't normally spend time with and are not attracted to and be used for sex
Been used by men? Consent is key here. "
Exactly what I was going to say - Elle has sex with many guys at clubs but it always on her terms and she's never "used".
OP clearly has an issue that needs talking through. |
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"OP, what was the point in asking the question if all you wanted to do was vent?
Anybody who’s dared to express an opinion contrary to your own experience you’ve basically trashed!
You’ve clearly had some bad experiences within the club scene, I’m sure we’d all agree that’s unfortunate and totally contrary to most people’s positive interactions.
I’d suggest for your own mental health to give the entire swinging scene a miss for a while and definitely clubs; hope you find some peace and be well.my mental health is fine most of the men I n a club not attracted to they make me cringe "
I'm not attracted to all at clubs.. doesn't make me cringe.. still human beings. To be honest its people with your attitude that can put a downer on nights. Clubs and swinging don't seem to be your thing. Doesn't make them bad places.
Cringing at another human being for not being your type is awful. They have every right to be there. Thsts why for us Clubs are great... you meet all sorts of people and have a nice night even if no sex happens.. which as a single happened more often than not... as it would be a social time
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By *red333Man 24 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Love the clubs however some guys just don't leave you alone even if you blatantly tell them No not playing!
Guys I said SOME so don't come for me "
lol yes i get what you're saying same on the nudist beaches they home in, I'm not a fan of that type guy |
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By *red333Man 24 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"That its a close knit society it's not honestly this stab each covering the back I wish I never went to any club if I could go back and change it I would have never gone to a club"
guess you had a bad experience? |
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