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How many times have you been in love?
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Six.
Very glad to have been in that position, each time.
Equally glad we/I knew when to move on.
There's still love for all of them on various levels, but love and life can't be forced together.
Different things with differing needs. |
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By *sWyldWoman 36 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Three times and they all broke my heart. Empty words rather than proper reciprocated feelings. Sadly I've never loved anyone who has actually loved me back.
While for years I assumed I wasn't good enough, now I realise I just settled for so little and allowed it to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"I don't know if I have ever been in love.
I'm not really sure what it should feel like.
"
Everyone that says when you know you know is correct. It feels different for us all I’m sure. |
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By *eliWoman 36 weeks ago
. |
I love quite deeply, quite freely. I like caring for others, when they leave a little mark on my heart long after things have ended.
Been in love though? I think there's a distinction there.
Three times. The first, I'll always love her. She's engaged to her partner, we're still good friends but it wasn't meant to be - we were too young, too intense, too exhausting. We still talk weekly. Have done for over a decade now.
The second was poor timing. I'd only recently realised I was poly, he had me on a pedestal and then Covid happened. I'm not in love with him any more but I hope he's happy.
And then there's my fiancé. I always thought love was meant to be a turbulent thing, that passion and real, true love were bedfellows of heated arguments, storming out, angry words, crying. I suppose that's the Literature student in me. My love for my fiancé is gentler. Calmer. It's like coming inside from a raging storm and drying by the fireplace. It's not being placed on a pedestal, being accepted for all of who I am. My waffling ND self.
So yes, three times. |
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OMG.
I fall in love every 5 minutes. It’s a blessing and a curse. 
It is great to have those intoxicating, inebriating, euphoric feelings of love, but man, when the lows happen it is… drove me to the deepest pits of hell when I was younger.
I am in love now, but not reciprocated- at least not romantic love. I am amazed at how maturely and calmly I am taking it.
I feel thibgs much more shock-absorbed or dulled these days. Must be the menopause  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"OMG.
I fall in love every 5 minutes. It’s a blessing and a curse.
It is great to have those intoxicating, inebriating, euphoric feelings of love, but man, when the lows happen it is… drove me to the deepest pits of hell when I was younger.
I am in love now, but not reciprocated- at least not romantic love. I am amazed at how maturely and calmly I am taking it.
I feel thibgs much more shock-absorbed or dulled these days. Must be the menopause "
Same. If a woman says hi to me I’m like, well I guess she’s a future forever partner |
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Once and the worst thing was in the end we both wanted different things which caused us to go our separate ways. Was a brilliant relationship then the next woman ruined me and made me want to commit suicide and feel like rubbish. |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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Twice. My ex husband and my current partner. I've had a few infatuation-type crushes too, which I used to mistake for being in love until I got together with my ex husband. Meli explained the difference upthread, so I don't need to!
Nell |
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Once
Gave her everything proposed at the top of the Eiffel Tower etc
but she broke me by cheating on me and getting pregnant by him!!
I’ve been single ever since (22 years) and had massive self-confidence issues causing eating disorders etc.
I don’t use the L word towards people even family I just can’t do it!
Sorry if that’s bummed anyone out |
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I fall in love too easily, but later realise it was infatuation and not love. So I'd say I've been in love maybe 10 times, but only truly, and deeply in love twice.
I've been married 4 times, and think I only truly loved my first wife and last wife.
Since I broke up with my last wife, I've decided I don't want to ever live with anyone again. There will be girlfriends and lovers, but I've cut myself off from ever wanting to go through that again.
I met my last wife through FAB, and we managed nearly 12 years together. We're still the best of friends, and still love each other I believe. Shame we couldn't make it work in the end. |
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"I don't know if I have ever been in love.
I'm not really sure what it should feel like.
Everyone that says when you know you know is correct. It feels different for us all I’m sure. "
I probably haven't then. |
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Difficult one to answer, two for certain, whether that was both ways is another thing. Others where I thought I was.
Heartbreak goes deep, how someone can turn or be not what I thought and the foolishness that goes with it.
Some shame at not feeling good enough. Some envy of others. Some deluded hope that I might experience it again. But I guess it’s the emptiness that’s sometimes in the pit of the stomach and wishing that was different and to feel emotionally fulfilled.
I hear ‘your a good ..’ a lot, it might be what I am, but doesn’t give me hope or make me feel better about it.
Realistically, I don’t think it’ll happen again. I’m not looking for someone to live with me and it’s not on the radar right now. |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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Three times in my twenties .... broke heart of the first, heart broken by second, married third too quickly, divorced 2 years later.
Once in my thirties ... married and stayed with them too long. Eventually realised love was more than words, it's how someone treats you. And loving someone won't change them.
Had strong feels twice in my 40's but it didn't deepen to proper love because neither times was it reciprocated.
Now not sure I could romantically utter the L word again. |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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Truly, once and how so.
It’s hard to describe and I imagine everyone feels it a different way.
The warmest feeling at a smile, flutters at a touch. Warmth of the comfort when things were bad and the tenderness of a kiss when things were good.
Being able to be vulnerable and yet still feel safe. Knowing they feel the same and seeing it reflected in their eyes or smile.
The bottomless emptiness at the thought of harm befalling them or losing them.
Once to have loved deeply and that strongly is enough for me. Unfortunately it drifted apart as we did.
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"Three times and they all broke my heart. Empty words rather than proper reciprocated feelings. Sadly I've never loved anyone who has actually loved me back.
While for years I assumed I wasn't good enough, now I realise I just settled for so little and allowed it to happen. "
That’s so sad 
I think twice properly and one of those I still love after 30 years & probably always will.
2 more when I temporarily lost my common sense and thought it was but it wasn’t
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"I love quite deeply, quite freely. I like caring for others, when they leave a little mark on my heart long after things have ended.
Been in love though? I think there's a distinction there.
Three times. The first, I'll always love her. She's engaged to her partner, we're still good friends but it wasn't meant to be - we were too young, too intense, too exhausting. We still talk weekly. Have done for over a decade now.
The second was poor timing. I'd only recently realised I was poly, he had me on a pedestal and then Covid happened. I'm not in love with him any more but I hope he's happy.
And then there's my fiancé. I always thought love was meant to be a turbulent thing, that passion and real, true love were bedfellows of heated arguments, storming out, angry words, crying. I suppose that's the Literature student in me. My love for my fiancé is gentler. Calmer. It's like coming inside from a raging storm and drying by the fireplace. It's not being placed on a pedestal, being accepted for all of who I am. My waffling ND self.
So yes, three times. "
You’re such a poet, Meli, your prose sings while carrying the reader. |
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"When haven't I been in love?!? That's the emotional byproduct of all these endless dates, courtships and woo'ing I get up to.
Maybe you love being in love?"
or in love with the warmth of the emotion that it gives, then perhaps that is love.
I have know the love of my child.
I have know the constant striving to be the acceptable child to a parent
i have know the abuse and cruelty of one human being to another
i have striven to find the thing that was missing without knowing what 'it' was that i was seaking
now - I have given up - i take the emotions of the fun with another person, the connectivity and thats me done.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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I’ve been in love a few times. And it’s making me feel like a weirdo that so many people haven’t been in love many times. Maybe there’s something wrong with me |
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"When haven't I been in love?!? That's the emotional byproduct of all these endless dates, courtships and woo'ing I get up to.
·
Maybe you love being in love?
•
Love and I are now estranged."
So it’s attraction and the thrill of the chase? |
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By *eliWoman 36 weeks ago
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"I love quite deeply, quite freely. I like caring for others, when they leave a little mark on my heart long after things have ended.
Been in love though? I think there's a distinction there.
Three times. The first, I'll always love her. She's engaged to her partner, we're still good friends but it wasn't meant to be - we were too young, too intense, too exhausting. We still talk weekly. Have done for over a decade now.
The second was poor timing. I'd only recently realised I was poly, he had me on a pedestal and then Covid happened. I'm not in love with him any more but I hope he's happy.
And then there's my fiancé. I always thought love was meant to be a turbulent thing, that passion and real, true love were bedfellows of heated arguments, storming out, angry words, crying. I suppose that's the Literature student in me. My love for my fiancé is gentler. Calmer. It's like coming inside from a raging storm and drying by the fireplace. It's not being placed on a pedestal, being accepted for all of who I am. My waffling ND self.
So yes, three times.
You’re such a poet, Meli, your prose sings while carrying the reader. "
This is such a lovely compliment, thank you! That's really touched me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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For me there is levels...I love my good friends for example...but if your meaning the kinda love I think your meaning... Then twice...I thought I was broken in that regards for quite a while... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?"
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years. |
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"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
·
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years. "
•
You're not wrong there, brother Pete-on-the-Street. Next time I'm falling in love with a Comet: they come around more often. |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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"I’ve been in love a few times. And it’s making me feel like a weirdo that so many people haven’t been in love many times. Maybe there’s something wrong with me"
No i can see why, you feel in every fibre of your body and soul 
Do you think ifs we met and got close you would fall in love with me  |
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By *929Man 36 weeks ago
newcastle |
"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years. "
So those of us thst have had our 3 chances are now fucked haha? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
·
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years.
•
You're not wrong there, brother Pete-on-the-Street. Next time I'm falling in love with a Comet: they come around more often."
Comet! Look at you using poly terms |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"I’ve been in love a few times. And it’s making me feel like a weirdo that so many people haven’t been in love many times. Maybe there’s something wrong with me
No i can see why, you feel in every fibre of your body and soul
Do you think ifs we met and got close you would fall in love with me "
Yeah. I’m sure it’s possible  |
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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"I’ve been in love a few times. And it’s making me feel like a weirdo that so many people haven’t been in love many times. Maybe there’s something wrong with me
No i can see why, you feel in every fibre of your body and soul
Do you think ifs we met and got close you would fall in love with me
Yeah. I’m sure it’s possible "
I'm feeling it already |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years.
So those of us thst have had our 3 chances are now fucked haha? "
Eh, what are you gonna do? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
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"I’ve been in love a few times. And it’s making me feel like a weirdo that so many people haven’t been in love many times. Maybe there’s something wrong with me
No i can see why, you feel in every fibre of your body and soul
Do you think ifs we met and got close you would fall in love with me
Yeah. I’m sure it’s possible
I'm feeling it already "
You won’t fall in love with me, I’m not easy to love |
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By *929Man 36 weeks ago
newcastle |
"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years.
So those of us thst have had our 3 chances are now fucked haha?
Eh, what are you gonna do?"
Truthfully mate currently contemplating being alone for rest of life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 36 weeks ago
|
"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years.
So those of us thst have had our 3 chances are now fucked haha?
Eh, what are you gonna do?
Truthfully mate currently contemplating being alone for rest of life "
In all seriousness, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the most important thing is to be happy, right? If finding a person would make you happy, don’t close yourself off to that. |
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"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years. "
love that film...I have had my three then, preparing to never be loved again...I have actually given up, I don't think some people are meant to be loved |
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3 times. Well, I say 3, married my first husband and I thought I was in love, then I met the current husband and it felt totally different to what I felt for my first husband, totally different in everyway. X |
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By *929Man 36 weeks ago
newcastle |
"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years.
So those of us thst have had our 3 chances are now fucked haha?
Eh, what are you gonna do?
Truthfully mate currently contemplating being alone for rest of life
In all seriousness, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the most important thing is to be happy, right? If finding a person would make you happy, don’t close yourself off to that. "
The idea of it is nice mate I’d love to find the right one to share my home with and see out my days just think time not on side and with so many failures chances of it happening pretty low would rather keep my expectations low haha |
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I get infatuated very quickly.
At the time, I felt I was in love with an ex boyfriend and in love with my ex husband.
The more I hear people talk about the pain of breaking up, I wonder if it was love or just an infatuation that lasted a number of years. I seemed to get over then both quite easily. |
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4.
I am in love now. She isn't involved in the swing world at all and I have no chance of anything happening with her at the present time either.. Had dates and still see her every day as we work together. |
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"I love quite deeply, quite freely. I like caring for others, when they leave a little mark on my heart long after things have ended.
Been in love though? I think there's a distinction there.
Three times. The first, I'll always love her. She's engaged to her partner, we're still good friends but it wasn't meant to be - we were too young, too intense, too exhausting. We still talk weekly. Have done for over a decade now.
The second was poor timing. I'd only recently realised I was poly, he had me on a pedestal and then Covid happened. I'm not in love with him any more but I hope he's happy.
And then there's my fiancé. I always thought love was meant to be a turbulent thing, that passion and real, true love were bedfellows of heated arguments, storming out, angry words, crying. I suppose that's the Literature student in me. My love for my fiancé is gentler. Calmer. It's like coming inside from a raging storm and drying by the fireplace. It's not being placed on a pedestal, being accepted for all of who I am. My waffling ND self.
So yes, three times. "
I loved reading this. Very eloquently put
Twice for me. I wouldn’t say never again but it is certainly not a priority right now. My life is pretty fulfilling without the complication of considering an additional human’s needs, but I certainly wouldn’t shy away from a connection with the right person if stumbled upon |
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"3 times. Well, I say 3, married my first husband and I thought I was in love, then I met the current husband and it felt totally different to what I felt for my first husband, totally different in everyway. X"
•
Three³ again!
Even De La Soul predicted ³ as the mågïç number!
|
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"3 times. Well, I say 3, married my first husband and I thought I was in love, then I met the current husband and it felt totally different to what I felt for my first husband, totally different in everyway. X
•
Three³ again!
Even De La Soul predicted ³ as the mågïç number!
"
Got me worried bud but if it’s to be, then it’s to be.
Fuck I’m quoting Doris Day ‘que sera, sera’ |
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" "
You know what I don't think I was ever in love with the ex husband. I think it was just a series of events that happened and then I was married and had kids. So I'm not going to count him.
Knowing that, I've felt the love twice. One is current!!! (Kiss emoji to the Mr) I'm 40 and that has only been recently. How sad is that?!
Mrs |
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"Three³ times seems to be the prevailing number here, having read some of the responses.
Is there a significance to three in love's theme?
You only get 3 great women in your life.
They come around like the great fighters. Once every 10 years.
So those of us thst have had our 3 chances are now fucked haha?
Eh, what are you gonna do?
Truthfully mate currently contemplating being alone for rest of life
In all seriousness, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the most important thing is to be happy, right? If finding a person would make you happy, don’t close yourself off to that.
The idea of it is nice mate I’d love to find the right one to share my home with and see out my days just think time not on side and with so many failures chances of it happening pretty low would rather keep my expectations low haha"
Snap. |
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