FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > An ageing crisis...
An ageing crisis...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
Hi.
I think I might be going through a midlife crisis.
For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you?
For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really… "
And hi x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
I loved my midlife crisis ... stopped giving a f*ck and worrying about what other people thought.
Threw my thunderous c*nt of an ex out and divorced him.
Took up a new sport
Got a new job |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi.
I think I might be going through a midlife crisis.
For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you?
For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that?"
Sorry to hear that. If it's not too much of a personal question, what does a midlife crisis look like from your perspective? I think it can mean wildly different things to different people.
Very generally speaking, from my perspective, a MLC can include taking decisions and actions that would normally be 'out of character', actively choosing more 'risky' behaviours and not thinking as much about the consequences our actions can have on others. But that's just one perspective.
My own version of this wasn't so much a crisis, it was more about coming to terms with some things changing and other things not working out as I'd hoped and lots of talking to a few trusted friends about these changes. Talking, lots of talking, always helps.
I've never met you obviously, but have noticed that you're very honest and open on the threads and that gives me confidence that you'll be ok.
Good luck to you!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really… "
Ah the kick up the arse. Yes, I think that's what I'm experiencing. Maybe it's not age related more a grief thing where you realise how short life is and think '*uck, there's so much I haven't done'.
I need to do more, -man-. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…
And hi x"
Hi. You can have one of these because it's Monday and I'm happy.
x
Actually you can have two.
xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…
Ah the kick up the arse. Yes, I think that's what I'm experiencing. Maybe it's not age related more a grief thing where you realise how short life is and think '*uck, there's so much I haven't done'.
I need to do more, -man-. "
You definitely need to do -man-   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The last birthday I celebrated fully was my 21st.
Every landmark decade since has been overshadowed by the death of a close family member within days of my turning 30, 40 and 50 so each one has been a reminder of the fragility of life rather than a crisis. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Didn't have a crisis as such. But I did go through a I don't want to live the other half of my life the way I was. So I did do the stereotypical thing of leaving the ex and I've changed jobs recently.
I sometimes think at certain points in our lives we live on autopilot. And something makes us realise that and we re-evaluate our lives. And I think it's that is what mid life crisis is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Stuff happens as you get older thar shape you and your life. Responsibilities and other stuff. Sometimes you feel like running to the hills and other times you are 21 again and want to paint the town red or sit under the stars on a beach with your friends and a quitar and sing till your heart's content.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *exyEggsCouple 24 weeks ago
North East Scotland, mostly |
"Stuff happens as you get older thar shape you and your life. Responsibilities and other stuff. Sometimes you feel like running to the hills and other times you are 21 again and want to paint the town red or sit under the stars on a beach with your friends and a quitar and sing till your heart's content. "
Beautifully put, MB. Sometimes I want to ditch all my responsibilities and throw caution to the winds. I also agree with several other posters, sometimes things happen which make you stop and re-evaluate your life - do you want it to always be like this?
What makes you think you're having a midlife crisis, OP?
Mrs TMN x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adgerMan 24 weeks ago
york |
"I loved my midlife crisis ... stopped giving a f*ck and worrying about what other people thought.
Threw my thunderous c*nt of an ex out and divorced him.
Took up a new sport
Got a new job"
Wow impressive! Go girl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm also gonna throw in here - for women, is it synonymous with reaching perimenopause? The turning of a page in life.
"
Mine occured before that. But for me it was when the kids were a bit older and less full on. So I wasn't as overwhelmed and had time to assess my life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I loved my midlife crisis ... stopped giving a f*ck and worrying about what other people thought.
Threw my thunderous c*nt of an ex out and divorced him.
Took up a new sport
Got a new job"
That's all really positive! Brilliant to read, sounds like you really started living for you.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it's a cliche that is picked up and falls into people's beliefs...
Certain things happen at certain intervals in life and we all shoulder them differently....
Changing my behaviours through changing the way I think was not and is not a crisis ... it's a rebirth. There is no conscious effort to change - it's a slow process.
Besides.... mid life can only exist theoretically. If someone dies at 66 was their crisis at 33 ...... meh If I kick the bucket at 90 I should have had mine at 45. I may have had some menopausal symptoms but it's hardly a crisis - 50% of the population do it involuntarily and naturally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alcon77Man 24 weeks ago
under the sun & the moon |
"The last birthday I celebrated fully was my 21st.
Every landmark decade since has been overshadowed by the death of a close family member within days of my turning 30, 40 and 50 so each one has been a reminder of the fragility of life rather than a crisis. "
This has basically been my exact predicament also.
I bought some sesame street trainers with oscar the grouch on a few months ago...I think that may have started the midlife crisis off on full swing.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I went on a coast to coast roadtrip in the States in a convertible and had sex with my boss.
I'd do it again so I don't think it qualifies really. Maybe I am just always in crisis? Probably why I sleep so much. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though.
I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I already had one when I turned 30 lol. I’m an overachiever I guess. But I think that was more a momlife crisis/realisation. The auld saying of you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping your kids, it finally kicked in.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I had another in 10yrs when parental responsibilities change again. I know I struggle with a constant battle between giving my all to everyone else and then becoming burnt out and having no choice but to put myself first for a little while
- Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"Hi.
I think I might be going through a midlife crisis.
For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you?
For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that?
Sorry to hear that. If it's not too much of a personal question, what does a midlife crisis look like from your perspective? I think it can mean wildly different things to different people.
Very generally speaking, from my perspective, a MLC can include taking decisions and actions that would normally be 'out of character', actively choosing more 'risky' behaviours and not thinking as much about the consequences our actions can have on others. But that's just one perspective.
My own version of this wasn't so much a crisis, it was more about coming to terms with some things changing and other things not working out as I'd hoped and lots of talking to a few trusted friends about these changes. Talking, lots of talking, always helps.
I've never met you obviously, but have noticed that you're very honest and open on the threads and that gives me confidence that you'll be ok.
Good luck to you!
"
Aww that's really lovely, thank you! I'm not quite sure I am going through one really - I do have an increased desire to do certain things but a friend described it as so and it amused me.
I think perhaps it's not age related so much as it is a moment when you decide to change/do certain things. Anyway, I really appreciate your post! x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am early sixties....but still think I am much younger...there are some reminders...going to get a haircut and wondering whose grey hair is on the floor when your in the chair ..and last weekend I was offered a seat twice in two days on the Elizabeth Line...am thankful as some don't make 60. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"If I ever happen to 'treat' (subject myself) to a pumpkin spiced latte (PSL) then I'll know I'm going through a mid-life crisis.
#PSL-MLC"
You're such a cad. 
When it's the season of the witch once more I shall do a homage to PSL on Fab in honour of you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…
Ah the kick up the arse. Yes, I think that's what I'm experiencing. Maybe it's not age related more a grief thing where you realise how short life is and think '*uck, there's so much I haven't done'.
I need to do more, -man-.
You definitely need to do -man- "
Incorrigible. Let me know* when you're next in the NW and we'll sort something out.
*See, I can match your energy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Oh shush. You're not even middle aged yet Meli, you're a mere lamb!
I think I have them regularly since I hit 40. Being a Domme, joining Fab, going to gigs away from home on my own. Nothing too extreme |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You look so young for an age crisis, maybe your mind feels older.
I remember being miserable when young. I'm so happy now that I'm mature and I own my life.
The only age crisis I have experienced happened when I was a teenager… the last century! At that time, nobody care about women's crises or existence.
I want to believe the world is a little better place for women now and we are in charge of our destiny.
Enjoy the crisis Meli because is the door to a better place.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
34? Yes, prime time for a crisis, but obviously past the stage we can call it a "quarter life" crisis.
Weirdly, given I'm not much of a petrol head, I've recently been looking enviously at sports cars, so expect me to follow the stereotype soon.
On a serious note, I do genuinely have a sense that the time is now if I am do take a different career direction - something more wholesome and outdoorsy, but not doing much about it.
So my crisis is mainly thought-based, which pretty much sums me up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sWyldWoman 24 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I've been actively looking forward to mine for years.
It started with becoming a burlesque performer a few years back, I bought a convertible that was entirely inappropriate to be my only car, I did a few things I can't really talk about and now I'm properly embracing the travel bug and being more selfish. It's liberating, wonderful fun and in my case bloody well deserved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aizyWoman 24 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I've been actively looking forward to mine for years.
It started with becoming a burlesque performer a few years back, I bought a convertible that was entirely inappropriate to be my only car, I did a few things I can't really talk about and now I'm properly embracing the travel bug and being more selfish. It's liberating, wonderful fun and in my case bloody well deserved. "
Do you mind if I pinch this as a blueprint for my midlife crisis? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I want to believe the world is a little better place for women now and we are in charge of our destiny."
This is *such* a good point. The mid-life crisis used to be seen as such a male thing. That’s why it was always portrayed as having an affair with a younger woman, buying a sports car, etc.
I’m so glad things have changed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I want to believe the world is a little better place for women now and we are in charge of our destiny.
This is *such* a good point. The mid-life crisis used to be seen as such a male thing. That’s why it was always portrayed as having an affair with a younger woman, buying a sports car, etc.
I’m so glad things have changed. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sWyldWoman 24 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"I've been actively looking forward to mine for years.
It started with becoming a burlesque performer a few years back, I bought a convertible that was entirely inappropriate to be my only car, I did a few things I can't really talk about and now I'm properly embracing the travel bug and being more selfish. It's liberating, wonderful fun and in my case bloody well deserved.
Do you mind if I pinch this as a blueprint for my midlife crisis? "
Go for it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"The last birthday I celebrated fully was my 21st.
Every landmark decade since has been overshadowed by the death of a close family member within days of my turning 30, 40 and 50 so each one has been a reminder of the fragility of life rather than a crisis. "
It's not so much about big birthdays approaching (mine isn't until the final quarter of the year). I do agree the reminder of the fragility of life can have an impact on you; whether it's death of a close one, a health scare.
Those things that make you reconsider what it is your want from life, what's important. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"Oh shush. You're not even middle aged yet Meli, you're a mere lamb!
I think I have them regularly since I hit 40. Being a Domme, joining Fab, going to gigs away from home on my own. Nothing too extreme "
Ah I like you Mimi. Lib calls me a young turtle which isn't quite as flattering...
It sounds like you're carving out time for yourself and enjoying what's important to you; that's definitely positive.
I've never been on holiday/mini breaks by myself. It's either through work or with loved ones, friends, partners etc. I've booked a few recently (which thankfully aren't too expensive, a perk really!) and am currently looking at a fourth. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've never been on holiday/mini breaks by myself. It's either through work or with loved ones, friends, partners etc. I've booked a few recently (which thankfully aren't too expensive, a perk really!) and am currently looking at a fourth. "
I turn business trips into ‘me time’ by not travelling with my colleagues, booking an extra day, or just going out alone in the evening. Works for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not quite that age yet but pretty sure I'm heading for the midlife crisis stage, I'm dying my hair ginger tomorrow I'm craving tattoos the usual crisis crap I usually do when I have a break up (the Mr is staying hopefully )
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
My mid life not crisis but fight back against getting old. Bought motorcycle and electric guitar. Now on my third motorbike and got five guitars. Not growing old gracefully sod that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi.
I think I might be going through a midlife crisis.
For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you?
OK you lovely creatures
When I was 40 didn't even think about it when I got 5o still didn't think about it . got 56 simply went back to been 50 its just a number you choose to tell people you may think things your head but to men and others that see you
Your beauty shine through so you don't have to worry about it .
For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that?"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
|
"Mine struck early, mid 30s. Left my husband, climbed a big mountain, quit my job not long after, got a couple of new tattoos..who knows what's next. "
Get a motorbike def not boring |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though.
I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune."
Peace and love my lady your welcome in my teepee. I might not be younger lover any more
And we don't need motorbike
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though.
I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune.
Peace and love my lady your welcome in my teepee. I might not be younger lover any more
And we don't need motorbike
"
but how would we get to the shops for snacks? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though.
I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a
motorbike and living in a commune.
Peace and love my lady your welcome in my teepee. I might not be younger lover any more
And we don't need motorbike
but how would we get to the shops for snacks? "
No problem my lady
In our wigwam
Because ive got a cellphone as we now live in today
Deliveroo will bring them to us .
Unlike when we were young .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I'm also gonna throw in here - for women, is it synonymous with reaching perimenopause? The turning of a page in life.
"
I think for some women it must be. I'm definitely not perimenopausal though. I think the menopause can be quite a big thing. Once through it more of a '*uck it' attitude is adopted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though.
I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune."
No, not always. The older less caring what others think isn't always a good thing but on the whole I wouldn't say that part of it screams crisis.
It's a term used though. Midlife crisis, almost a comedic joke about someone, normally a man, who desperately tries to chase his youth through sex with young women and keeping up with the Joneses. It's not always a crisis quite like that. For some men that's just how they are. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though.
I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune.
No, not always. The older less caring what others think isn't always a good thing but on the whole I wouldn't say that part of it screams crisis.
It's a term used though. Midlife crisis, almost a comedic joke about someone, normally a man, who desperately tries to chase his youth through sex with young women and keeping up with the Joneses. It's not always a crisis quite like that. For some men that's just how they are. "
Caring less to the extent you take no account of other people's feelings definitely isn't a good thing, I agree. Very old people often get to the stage where all their filters are off.
I can remember people saying "ooo he's having a midlife crisis" about men who started wearing baseball caps back to front and skateboarding in their forties . I really hope those men didn't care what people thought |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arkus1812Man 24 weeks ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
My midlife was so long ago, I have no recollection of having any crisis in what would have been the early 1980s, for me that period was the best time of my life.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lder.Woman 24 weeks ago
Not Local |
"Didn't have a crisis as such. But I did go through a I don't want to live the other half of my life the way I was. So I did do the stereotypical thing of leaving the ex and I've changed jobs recently.
I sometimes think at certain points in our lives we live on autopilot. And something makes us realise that and we re-evaluate our lives. And I think it's that is what mid life crisis is. "
Mid-life clarity, not crisis. I had the same. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"34? Yes, prime time for a crisis, but obviously past the stage we can call it a "quarter life" crisis. "
Erm thanks, I like you too even with that savagery.
"Weirdly, given I'm not much of a petrol head, I've recently been looking enviously at sports cars, so expect me to follow the stereotype soon. "
Oh you should! It'll pair perfectly with horsey girls.
"On a serious note, I do genuinely have a sense that the time is now if I am do take a different career direction - something more wholesome and outdoorsy, but not doing much about it.
So my crisis is mainly thought-based, which pretty much sums me up."
Maybe that's what it's about. Not the material markers of one, more the shift of mentality. The renewed appreciation for certain things, the desire to embrace life more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 24 weeks ago
. |
"I already had one when I turned 30 lol. I’m an overachiever I guess. But I think that was more a momlife crisis/realisation. The auld saying of you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping your kids, it finally kicked in.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I had another in 10yrs when parental responsibilities change again. I know I struggle with a constant battle between giving my all to everyone else and then becoming burnt out and having no choice but to put myself first for a little while
- Mrs"
Prioritising yourself is important, not always the easiest thing to do but one of the most important. Being an overachiever can be incredibly draining and then you reach a point where you say fuck it and channel all that energy back in to yourself.
I hope you're able to do that soon, even if only for a little bit, x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
