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How do you get rid of a big bird in your garden?
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There's some kind of grey dog sized bird wandering around my garden pooing all over it don't want to hurt it but it's making the garden look like a half arsed B&W tate modern painting. Should I call the police so they can give it an asbo? Would the daily mail be interested in this story any journalists here?. |
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"There's some kind of grey dog sized bird wandering around my garden pooing all over it don't want to hurt it but it's making the garden look like a half arsed B&W tate modern painting. Should I call the police so they can give it an asbo? Would the daily mail be interested in this story any journalists here?."
Dog sized? I was imagining something the size of a Labrador, and was absolutely going to recommend you contact the tabloids! |
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sounds like a young seagull ..... leave it be. It's illegal to touch them and the parents won't be far.
Look out for regurgitated food. theirs not yours.
And the parents will dive bomb you if you go anywhere near it |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"There's some kind of grey dog sized bird wandering around my garden pooing all over it don't want to hurt it but it's making the garden look like a half arsed B&W tate modern painting. Should I call the police so they can give it an asbo? Would the daily mail be interested in this story any journalists here?."
I like bird art  |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"sounds like a young seagull ..... leave it be. It's illegal to touch them and the parents won't be far.
Look out for regurgitated food. theirs not yours.
And the parents will dive bomb you if you go anywhere near it"
This op is true birds are protected |
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We had a peacock move into ours a few years back. We got rid of it by getting Steve down the road, who owned said peacock, to come and get it.
Coming over here strutting it's stuff and looking gorgeous. Hmmmpff. |
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Ofcourse the Daily Mail wouldn't be interested unless ofcourse the bird is from another country, then they'll write a wonderful story about why it's important we stop the illegal birds comin ere in are gardens. |
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"Ofcourse the Daily Mail wouldn't be interested unless ofcourse the bird is from another country, then they'll write a wonderful story about why it's important we stop the illegal birds comin ere in are gardens. "
The Daily Sport would have it as “Man caught fucking grey dog sized bird in back garden” |
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"How do you know it's a she?.
I think it's a pheasant but seems bigger than usual.
I'll just wait until Aaron the evri delivery driver runs over it."
call a pheasant plucker or the pheasant pluckers son
I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son. I'm only plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucker comes |
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"Ofcourse the Daily Mail wouldn't be interested unless ofcourse the bird is from another country, then they'll write a wonderful story about why it's important we stop the illegal birds comin ere in are gardens.
The Daily Sport would have it as “Man caught fucking grey dog sized bird in back garden”"
The sun version would be it's an illegal immigrant bird and the prime thing to blame why all it's readers are failures in life.
And she also didn't have big tits.
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