FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Over consumption/over use
Over consumption/over use
Jump to: Newest in thread
Does it annoy you when it's happening at your cost?
Have you experienced it?
Are you guilty of it yourself?
To add a little context.
We went away for a weekend(3 full days). I restocked everything so I knew the 2 kids and girl minding them would have everything they needed, it wouldn't cost her anything and everything needed would be to hand.
I ensured all the towels in the house were washed and dry bar the two used the night before we left.
All 16 were in the wash basket when I got back . I had to use 2 tea towels to dry myself 
The full shampoo bottle was nearly gone.
The toilet roll was gone .
2 packets of water wipes!went to change the toddler and thought I was loosing it .
2 of my favourite candles burned out 
The heating took a beating too,was left on almost constantly.
On one hand I'm annoyed,on the other I feel mean because she looked after my kids for 3 days.
How is it even possible 
How would you feel?
(I'm aware this is ranty and I apologise, I just needed to vent) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Comes with the territory. Not easy to find a minder for that length of time.
I’d just let it go and enjoy having such a break- not easy! I had a friend look after my 3 when I went away for a few days and I could have given her diamonds and rubies lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *TG3Man 37 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Does it annoy you when it's happening at your cost?
Have you experienced it?
Are you guilty of it yourself?
To add a little context.
We went away for a weekend(3 full days). I restocked everything so I knew the 2 kids and girl minding them would have everything they needed, it wouldn't cost her anything and everything needed would be to hand.
I ensured all the towels in the house were washed and dry bar the two used the night before we left.
All 16 were in the wash basket when I got back . I had to use 2 tea towels to dry myself
The full shampoo bottle was nearly gone.
The toilet roll was gone .
2 packets of water wipes!went to change the toddler and thought I was loosing it .
2 of my favourite candles burned out
The heating took a beating too,was left on almost constantly.
On one hand I'm annoyed,on the other I feel mean because she looked after my kids for 3 days.
How is it even possible
How would you feel?
(I'm aware this is ranty and I apologise, I just needed to vent)"
You wanted a break on your own without your kids its a small price to pay for freedom  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Jeez, I get they looked after your kids for 3 days but going through all of that in that short space of time is insane! If I was ever in someone's house, I'd be mortified if I had left it in that state and would try to need as little if the resources as possible. It just sounds sluje they didn't give a shit or were more preoccupied with the kids to realise how much they were using |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you "
This!! Everything is so expensive! I took my 3 to Italy this week and even a Maccies (don’t judge- they’re teenagers and it was just one maccies haha) was €50 for 4
The towels moan seems a bit petty to me, lol
And I want to assume that she was paid for her time… |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
When it’s gone it’s gone. That’s how I warn my kids of consuming stuff quickly, they will have days until it’s the big shop again.
Sorry Em, they lived like kings when the queen wasn’t there.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you
This!! Everything is so expensive! I took my 3 to Italy this week and even a Maccies (don’t judge- they’re teenagers and it was just one maccies haha) was €50 for 4
The towels moan seems a bit petty to me, lol
And I want to assume that she was paid for her time… "
#ilikemaccies  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Crikey... You have to just package it in your head as 'the cost of the weekend'
But then learn from your mistakes woman... Next time just leave bare minimum - one towel each and hide everything
I'd be proper annoyed and conflicted too.. Fab is a great place for being able to vent about all kinds of things!
Hope you are feeling more chilled, but if not b+q have a special on spades and patios |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you
This!! Everything is so expensive! I took my 3 to Italy this week and even a Maccies (don’t judge- they’re teenagers and it was just one maccies haha) was €50 for 4
The towels moan seems a bit petty to me, lol
And I want to assume that she was paid for her time… "
Petty yes shame on me .
She was paid well for looking after them obviously. They were also collected by a family member on 2 of those days and taken out for a few hours to give her a break.
The general consensus seems to be I'm a prick so I'll leave it at that.
Thanks .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels. "
You could always do a quick washing first |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Nah you're not a prick Em. How on earth does a full bottle of shampoo get used?! Two full packs of wet wipes? Etc. It does seem excessive!
If you ever need to use longer term carers for your children in future, maybe only leave rationed amounts of stuff? Decant some shampoo into a smaller bottle or leave a cheapo one.
I think you do just have to chalk it down to experience and, in the words of Mr Pickle, charge it to the game.
You are entitled to have a vent here, so let it goooooooooooo and let the frustration out  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you "
I don't quite agree with this sentiment. Yes, I would've cost more to take the kids but it's still natural to feel a bit taken advantage of when you come back and see the results of a 3 day break. It's very easy to feel like you can't take a break again out of fear what you will come home to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Our daughter is the same when she comes to stay.
Toilet roll I'm not sure how she uses as much as she does but
Same with towels she comes home for one night and uses half a dozen towels, cup's and glasses everywhere it's like a football team has stayed overnight. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Also, parents should be able to take a short break away from their kids and not be made to feel guilty about it!! Em, you made the arrangements you felt were best to enable you to have a bit of time away, there's nothing whatsoever wrong with that. The person caring was paid well, as you've said, so there's really no need to take the piss and consume everything in front of you, just for the hell of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels.
You could always do a quick washing first "
I could, but I’d still be fuming if I came home after 3 days and they had managed to go through 16 towels. How does that even happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your definitely not a prick, we are constantly having this disagreement with our kids (all young adults).
I can't wait for them to have their own house so then they will understand where we are coming from. Don't even get me started on the food that gets wasted .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Also, parents should be able to take a short break away from their kids and not be made to feel guilty about it!! Em, you made the arrangements you felt were best to enable you to have a bit of time away, there's nothing whatsoever wrong with that. The person caring was paid well, as you've said, so there's really no need to take the piss and consume everything in front of you, just for the hell of it. "
Agreed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels.
You could always do a quick washing first
I could, but I’d still be fuming if I came home after 3 days and they had managed to go through 16 towels. How does that even happen. "
At least they washed.
I’ve got a feeling if I left my boys being looked after, one of them would need hosing down when I got back  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe it’s just how the minder was brought up , some families are like that everything is washed once used once and they are not taught to conserve or save money/energy.
You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe it’s just how the minder was brought up , some families are like that everything is washed once used once and they are not taught to conserve or save money/energy.
You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done "
Oh please. Is there any need to make her feel worse?
"You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done"
Really an unnecessary comment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels.
You could always do a quick washing first
I could, but I’d still be fuming if I came home after 3 days and they had managed to go through 16 towels. How does that even happen.
At least they washed.
I’ve got a feeling if I left my boys being looked after, one of them would need hosing down when I got back "
It don't nessasaraly mean they have washed mine use nice clean towels for cleaning his trainers or if he spills his drink, apparently their are lots of different ways to use clean towels other than washing . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hey where your coming from
We’ve been there done that
Had a friend stay over with her 2 kids to watch our 4
And got to the point we stopped going out as we dreaded the devastation we would walk back into
Having a night out - no matter how good it was - outweighed the hours & hours of clean up afterwards |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels.
You could always do a quick washing first
I could, but I’d still be fuming if I came home after 3 days and they had managed to go through 16 towels. How does that even happen.
At least they washed.
I’ve got a feeling if I left my boys being looked after, one of them would need hosing down when I got back "
I guess, If they were having 5 baths a day. It just seems unnecessary. I’m sure she has a washing machine, it doesn’t take 2 seconds to rewash the ones you’ve used instead of using more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe it’s just how the minder was brought up , some families are like that everything is washed once used once and they are not taught to conserve or save money/energy.
You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done
Oh please. Is there any need to make her feel worse?
"You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done"
Really an unnecessary comment. "
I disagree.
She is hardly vulnerable or in need of therapy , having a little winge about the big roll running out isn’t a major disaster
And your simping wont get you laid
Yep - she definitely allowed it to happen. I’m sure she’s learned her lesson though & will do things a little differently next time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Did you say you'd left everything she would need and to use whatever she wanted?
If I was in someone else's house I would be really careful with what I used but a bit freer if they'd told me to make myself at home etc.
I don't know how old the person who looked after your children is or what experience they have of running a home. However I would feel a bit fed up at 16 towels and the candles.
I think if your kids are well and happy and you want to go away again you're probably going to have to smile and hide the good stuff next time
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sWyldWoman 37 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I'd be annoyed too but also what can you do?
I have teenagers who eat me out of house and home constantly so I feel your pain.
And yes they use a towel once and it gets left.
Just focus on the nice parts of your break. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd be a bit fed up with that too. Is it possible your kids tipped most of the bottle of the shampoo into the bath, flooded it and the towels were used to mop up? But the sitter didn't want to say? I'm just remembering my little one doing that. It was really expensive shampoo as well. I cried. 
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe it’s just how the minder was brought up , some families are like that everything is washed once used once and they are not taught to conserve or save money/energy.
You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done
Oh please. Is there any need to make her feel worse?
"You kind of allowed this to happen , there’s lots you could have done"
Really an unnecessary comment.
I disagree.
She is hardly vulnerable or in need of therapy , having a little winge about the big roll running out isn’t a major disaster
And your simping wont get you laid
Yep - she definitely allowed it to happen. I’m sure she’s learned her lesson though & will do things a little differently next time "
Simping to get me laid?? If I were trying to seduce Em, then I could see your point. But I'm not. But thanks for your vitriol, it goes well with my brew. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"16 towels in the washing basket after 3 days is taking the piss. I could cope with the rest but I’d be fuming if I had to come home and dry myself with tea towels.
You could always do a quick washing first
I could, but I’d still be fuming if I came home after 3 days and they had managed to go through 16 towels. How does that even happen.
At least they washed.
I’ve got a feeling if I left my boys being looked after, one of them would need hosing down when I got back
I guess, If they were having 5 baths a day. It just seems unnecessary. I’m sure she has a washing machine, it doesn’t take 2 seconds to rewash the ones you’ve used instead of using more. "
you are also talking to a guy who is still learning not to forget to wash his work cloths for the Monday. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hopefully the op can get a bit of perspective on it and not let it ruin the memories of a kid free break "
You have to choose your battles!
We were offloaded from my flight home yesterday because apparently the plane could only go half full due to high winds … we were some of the last to check in (and cheapest tickets lol) so off we pop. Had to rebook somewhere else and I am £400 worse off. Yeah, I was still resenting it last night but the memories made this week are worth much more than that. It’ll be a couple of poor months for me but it is what it is.
Life’s too short. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How old is she? And how much did you pay her?
If you've paid her well and she's a grown adult I think you are well within your right to be frustrated. But if she's young and you've only paid her by stocking up on items etc I think you need to be a bit more understanding of why she has been so lax. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I won't reply to all because chances are I'd make myself look worse.
The girl is 20 and was paid €300 for her time.
The fridge was full and another €50 left for a takeaway.
I left everything that would be needed and more.
I asked the oldest as he's 12,about the shampoo and he said he didn't know .
I also asked him about the heating and he said it was so hot all weekend that he had left his bedroom window open the whole time.
I fully expected to have a ton of washing to do when I got back but not having 1 poxy towel to dry myself after travelling for hours is different.
Saying it's my own fault is ridiculous. Should I start being stingy and non trusting?
Thank you to those who were kind and at least trying to see my point of view.
To those that decided not to,have a great day
Anyhooo this has been fun, thanks for that.
Em x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I recently stayed over at a mate’s house, after we drank ourselves well past my being able to drive home in his barn home bar
His wife was absolutely gobsmacked that I had made up their spare bed after I had slept in it, to the point she hadn’t even known I’d slept over. For me though, I was brought up to respect other people’s things, and leave a place as you would expect to find it…..
Your child minder did a great job while you were away, and although your children probably slacked off a little too, I would be feeling somewhat taken advantage of myself, but once bitten; twice shy. You have my sympathies  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"I am amazed daily by where toilet roll and food and towells go. As Im trudging back to the shops to restock "
Women. They eat it like spaghetti as they sit in the loo. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I haven't read the whole thread. But the most important thing I think is did you enjoy the weekend OP? Did you feel the kids were safe and that they also enjoyed their time?
The rest although is annoying isn't worth you spoiling your memories of a nice weekend. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lder.Woman 37 weeks ago
Not Local |
"I am amazed daily by where toilet roll and food and towells go. As Im trudging back to the shops to restock
Women. They eat it like spaghetti as they sit in the loo. "
Or wind it round our fingers like candy floss and tuck in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I won't reply to all because chances are I'd make myself look worse.
The girl is 20 and was paid €300 for her time.
The fridge was full and another €50 left for a takeaway.
I left everything that would be needed and more.
I asked the oldest as he's 12,about the shampoo and he said he didn't know .
I also asked him about the heating and he said it was so hot all weekend that he had left his bedroom window open the whole time.
I fully expected to have a ton of washing to do when I got back but not having 1 poxy towel to dry myself after travelling for hours is different.
Saying it's my own fault is ridiculous. Should I start being stingy and non trusting?
Thank you to those who were kind and at least trying to see my point of view.
To those that decided not to,have a great day
Anyhooo this has been fun, thanks for that.
Em x"
€300 for 3 days? For caring for two children
I don't think you have anything to complain about. I think she should be one complaining in all fairness
Sorry
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does it annoy you when it's happening at your cost?
Have you experienced it?
Are you guilty of it yourself?
To add a little context.
We went away for a weekend(3 full days). I restocked everything so I knew the 2 kids and girl minding them would have everything they needed, it wouldn't cost her anything and everything needed would be to hand.
I ensured all the towels in the house were washed and dry bar the two used the night before we left.
All 16 were in the wash basket when I got back . I had to use 2 tea towels to dry myself
The full shampoo bottle was nearly gone.
The toilet roll was gone .
2 packets of water wipes!went to change the toddler and thought I was loosing it .
2 of my favourite candles burned out
The heating took a beating too,was left on almost constantly.
On one hand I'm annoyed,on the other I feel mean because she looked after my kids for 3 days.
How is it even possible
How would you feel?
(I'm aware this is ranty and I apologise, I just needed to vent)"
Should habe throat punched her Em....just for the cheek of it all...fancy using all your shampoo
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I won't reply to all because chances are I'd make myself look worse.
The girl is 20 and was paid €300 for her time.
The fridge was full and another €50 left for a takeaway.
I left everything that would be needed and more.
I asked the oldest as he's 12,about the shampoo and he said he didn't know .
I also asked him about the heating and he said it was so hot all weekend that he had left his bedroom window open the whole time.
I fully expected to have a ton of washing to do when I got back but not having 1 poxy towel to dry myself after travelling for hours is different.
Saying it's my own fault is ridiculous. Should I start being stingy and non trusting?
Thank you to those who were kind and at least trying to see my point of view.
To those that decided not to,have a great day
Anyhooo this has been fun, thanks for that.
Em x
€300 for 3 days? For caring for two children
I don't think you have anything to complain about. I think she should be one complaining in all fairness
Sorry
"
Should have added two children that are closely related to her and when asked how much ,that's what she asked for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You aren't a prick Em, that's ridiculous overuse - 16 towels!!
If someone looked after my kids I wouldn't be happy them burning my candles etc either.
Seems they've just taken advantage personally.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"I am amazed daily by where toilet roll and food and towells go. As Im trudging back to the shops to restock
Women. They eat it like spaghetti as they sit in the loo.
Or wind it round our fingers like candy floss and tuck in. "
women line the toilet seat with it, is it to sit on something comfy? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
20 years old?! I was expecting you to say she was 16 or so. She's old enough to be washing up after herself if she is using up your towels etc and she should know better than to keep the heating on 24/7.
I wouldn't be happy. But what can you do now? It's not worth stressing over. At least in the future, you will know to speak to her about it before leaving or just avoid her altogether. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"20 years old?! I was expecting you to say she was 16 or so. She's old enough to be washing up after herself if she is using up your towels etc and she should know better than to keep the heating on 24/7.
I wouldn't be happy. But what can you do now? It's not worth stressing over. At least in the future, you will know to speak to her about it before leaving or just avoid her altogether."
I'll speak to her next time as she's my step daughter. I didn't want to come across to her as the evil step mother at the time .
Maybe I didn't pay her enough as said above and it was a fuck you,who knows but that's how much she asked for.
Lesson learned either way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You aren't a prick Em, that's ridiculous overuse - 16 towels!!
If someone looked after my kids I wouldn't be happy them burning my candles etc either.
Seems they've just taken advantage personally.
Mrs "
It's not so much using the candles as burning out two of them.They were also in a cupboard in my room so obviously weren't out for use either . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The candles would annoy me, especially as she'd looked through your cupboards. The towels - if you'd already used 2, it's 14 towels not 16. I'd not expect someone outside my kids to use a towel I already had after a shower. Toilet rolls always go quick, and I think the shampoo and wet wipes is a bit nit picky. €300 for 3 days childcare is pretty good going. So long as the kids were fine, house still standing. It was a 20yr old female relative helping you out, not a qualified child minder |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you
This!! Everything is so expensive! I took my 3 to Italy this week and even a Maccies (don’t judge- they’re teenagers and it was just one maccies haha) was €50 for 4
The towels moan seems a bit petty to me, lol
And I want to assume that she was paid for her time…
Petty yes shame on me .
She was paid well for looking after them obviously. They were also collected by a family member on 2 of those days and taken out for a few hours to give her a break.
The general consensus seems to be I'm a prick so I'll leave it at that.
Thanks .
"
Not true Em. If you were an ugly minger, we'd all call you a prick.
But because you're hot, we're all thinking "prick" but wouldn't want to damage future chances by actually saying it .
More seriously, you're right, she's right, tragedy lies in the conflict of two rights, not a right and a wrong (that's Hegel again...just for Pickle ), and next time see if you can find someone a bit less 180 to your own preferences if you can.
Then, a great few days away knowing the kids are cared for and your home isn't a bombsite when you return is about the best it gets. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"I won't reply to all because chances are I'd make myself look worse.
The girl is 20 and was paid €300 for her time.
The fridge was full and another €50 left for a takeaway.
I left everything that would be needed and more.
I asked the oldest as he's 12,about the shampoo and he said he didn't know .
I also asked him about the heating and he said it was so hot all weekend that he had left his bedroom window open the whole time.
I fully expected to have a ton of washing to do when I got back but not having 1 poxy towel to dry myself after travelling for hours is different.
Saying it's my own fault is ridiculous. Should I start being stingy and non trusting?
Thank you to those who were kind and at least trying to see my point of view.
To those that decided not to,have a great day
Anyhooo this has been fun, thanks for that.
Em x
€300 for 3 days? For caring for two children
I don't think you have anything to complain about. I think she should be one complaining in all fairness
Sorry
Should have added two children that are closely related to her and when asked how much ,that's what she asked for."
The fact you’re related means she probably felt comfortable using your things. Also you’re only paying her €4 an hour, so it’s swings and roundabouts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As it was a family member I'll share a story of my looking after my sister, just to make you feel better OP. My mam left in charge of my sister and a couple of her mates when she went out for the night.
My mam arrived home as the police arrived at the house. One girl had decided to apply red lipstick on and kiss each step of the carpeted stairs (took ages to clean off). There were cola bottles stuck to the wall in the living room and there were some sweets placed in the vents of the electric radiators. My sister had invited more than a couple of friends and it was carnage. These things happen and I'm lucky my mam didn't kill me or my sister |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you
This!! Everything is so expensive! I took my 3 to Italy this week and even a Maccies (don’t judge- they’re teenagers and it was just one maccies haha) was €50 for 4
The towels moan seems a bit petty to me, lol
And I want to assume that she was paid for her time…
Petty yes shame on me .
She was paid well for looking after them obviously. They were also collected by a family member on 2 of those days and taken out for a few hours to give her a break.
The general consensus seems to be I'm a prick so I'll leave it at that.
Thanks .
Not true Em. If you were an ugly minger, we'd all call you a prick.
But because you're hot, we're all thinking "prick" but wouldn't want to damage future chances by actually saying it .
More seriously, you're right, she's right, tragedy lies in the conflict of two rights, not a right and a wrong (that's Hegel again...just for Pickle ), and next time see if you can find someone a bit less 180 to your own preferences if you can.
Then, a great few days away knowing the kids are cared for and your home isn't a bombsite when you return is about the best it gets."
So people are only nice to me because they find me attractive when infact they think I'm a prick?
That's great to know |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I won't reply to all because chances are I'd make myself look worse.
The girl is 20 and was paid €300 for her time.
The fridge was full and another €50 left for a takeaway.
I left everything that would be needed and more.
I asked the oldest as he's 12,about the shampoo and he said he didn't know .
I also asked him about the heating and he said it was so hot all weekend that he had left his bedroom window open the whole time.
I fully expected to have a ton of washing to do when I got back but not having 1 poxy towel to dry myself after travelling for hours is different.
Saying it's my own fault is ridiculous. Should I start being stingy and non trusting?
Thank you to those who were kind and at least trying to see my point of view.
To those that decided not to,have a great day
Anyhooo this has been fun, thanks for that.
Em x
€300 for 3 days? For caring for two children
I don't think you have anything to complain about. I think she should be one complaining in all fairness
Sorry
Should have added two children that are closely related to her and when asked how much ,that's what she asked for.
The fact you’re related means she probably felt comfortable using your things. Also you’re only paying her €4 an hour, so it’s swings and roundabouts."
Yes I clearly took advantage |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As it was a family member I'll share a story of my looking after my sister, just to make you feel better OP. My mam left in charge of my sister and a couple of her mates when she went out for the night.
My mam arrived home as the police arrived at the house. One girl had decided to apply red lipstick on and kiss each step of the carpeted stairs (took ages to clean off). There were cola bottles stuck to the wall in the living room and there were some sweets placed in the vents of the electric radiators. My sister had invited more than a couple of friends and it was carnage. These things happen and I'm lucky my mam didn't kill me or my sister "
That's made me smile, thank you for that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them."
Doesn't say it's a step daughter? Also £257, not £300. If you class someone doing you a favour as a reason to state they're taking the piss if its not quite to your standards. I'd point out it's you taking the piss  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
She would never have got through all of that if she was at home with two kids of her own, it’s just common sense. The fact she did it at yours with your kids is a massive piss take.
And if she wasn’t happy with £300 she should’ve said so before agreeing. You’re not at fault OP, you did everything you could to do it right. I’d be fucking fuming as well tbh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does it annoy you when it's happening at your cost?
Have you experienced it?
Are you guilty of it yourself?
To add a little context.
We went away for a weekend(3 full days). I restocked everything so I knew the 2 kids and girl minding them would have everything they needed, it wouldn't cost her anything and everything needed would be to hand.
I ensured all the towels in the house were washed and dry bar the two used the night before we left.
All 16 were in the wash basket when I got back . I had to use 2 tea towels to dry myself
The full shampoo bottle was nearly gone.
The toilet roll was gone .
2 packets of water wipes!went to change the toddler and thought I was loosing it .
2 of my favourite candles burned out
The heating took a beating too,was left on almost constantly.
On one hand I'm annoyed,on the other I feel mean because she looked after my kids for 3 days.
How is it even possible
How would you feel?
(I'm aware this is ranty and I apologise, I just needed to vent)"
The price you pay. Maybe if she's a regular sitter, have a calm Conversation with her about expectations. As long as they were still safe and well when you got back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them.
Doesn't say it's a step daughter? Also £257, not £300. If you class someone doing you a favour as a reason to state they're taking the piss if its not quite to your standards. I'd point out it's you taking the piss "
It does say it's my step daughter further up but yes €300 and 50 for a takeaway not pounds.
I do think you're enjoying picking fault with me though.
I'm genuinely curious as to how much people think I should have paid actually |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iger4uWoman 37 weeks ago
In my happy place |
Jeez.
You were far too open and generous.
I can't work out the 16 towels.
I'm guessing the shampoo has been decanted.
No candles next time, buy reeds as they are a fire hazard with strangers.
And heating... should have set a timer and a no touch rule.
You'll learn! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You aren't a prick Em, that's ridiculous overuse - 16 towels!!
If someone looked after my kids I wouldn't be happy them burning my candles etc either.
Seems they've just taken advantage personally.
Mrs
It's not so much using the candles as burning out two of them.They were also in a cupboard in my room so obviously weren't out for use either ."
Rooting around your stuff, using every last thing to be found regardless of what it was. It all feels a little entitled and disrespectful; like fuck it not my shit to clean up or bills to pay or shopping to do. No sense of what it costs to run a house or the effort that would go into getting it ready to have someone else in your home before you go away.
With you making sure they had help and down time as well, it kinda comes across like they had a paid holiday in your house. Yes your kids were being minded, but when you think about your kids and their schedule/routines, does that mean they were brought out to playground, GAA matches or whatever activities they do, or was it an adult in the house chilling out whilst the kids do their own thing. Because that’s very different levels of effort and responsibility.
Ella |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Jeez.
You were far too open and generous.
I can't work out the 16 towels.
I'm guessing the shampoo has been decanted.
No candles next time, buy reeds as they are a fire hazard with strangers.
And heating... should have set a timer and a no touch rule.
You'll learn!"
As i was corrected above,we used 2 so it was 14.
Our heating is set on a timer, I told her that,it comes on 5 times a day but I didn't say not to turn it on beyond that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them.
Doesn't say it's a step daughter? Also £257, not £300. If you class someone doing you a favour as a reason to state they're taking the piss if its not quite to your standards. I'd point out it's you taking the piss "
I stand corrected on the amount paid, Harley. I can't tell my €s from my £s.
If you read the thread thoroughly you'll see the OP states it was her step daughter and I think someone can still take the piss whether they're doing you a favour or not. Agree to disagree? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them.
Doesn't say it's a step daughter? Also £257, not £300. If you class someone doing you a favour as a reason to state they're taking the piss if its not quite to your standards. I'd point out it's you taking the piss
It does say it's my step daughter further up but yes €300 and 50 for a takeaway not pounds.
I do think you're enjoying picking fault with me though.
I'm genuinely curious as to how much people think I should have paid actually "
How am I picking fault with you? My reply was to a different poster.
The price was agreed between yourselves, you obviously both felt it was fair. For context my daughter pays her 17yr old babysitter £20 for 2hrs during which she baths, feeds, puts the kids to bed. She also gives her a lift home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You aren't a prick Em, that's ridiculous overuse - 16 towels!!
If someone looked after my kids I wouldn't be happy them burning my candles etc either.
Seems they've just taken advantage personally.
Mrs
It's not so much using the candles as burning out two of them.They were also in a cupboard in my room so obviously weren't out for use either .
Rooting around your stuff, using every last thing to be found regardless of what it was. It all feels a little entitled and disrespectful; like fuck it not my shit to clean up or bills to pay or shopping to do. No sense of what it costs to run a house or the effort that would go into getting it ready to have someone else in your home before you go away.
With you making sure they had help and down time as well, it kinda comes across like they had a paid holiday in your house. Yes your kids were being minded, but when you think about your kids and their schedule/routines, does that mean they were brought out to playground, GAA matches or whatever activities they do, or was it an adult in the house chilling out whilst the kids do their own thing. Because that’s very different levels of effort and responsibility.
Ella "
There were no extracurriculars.
My eldest doesn't come out of his room unless he's made to,he's a "gamer" so he says. On this occasion he was asked to help his sister for the weekend, which he did as I checked with him to make sure while I was away.
The youngest was taken to the park across from our house one of the days too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine the cost if you'd taken the kids with you
This!! Everything is so expensive! I took my 3 to Italy this week and even a Maccies (don’t judge- they’re teenagers and it was just one maccies haha) was €50 for 4
The towels moan seems a bit petty to me, lol
And I want to assume that she was paid for her time…
Petty yes shame on me .
She was paid well for looking after them obviously. They were also collected by a family member on 2 of those days and taken out for a few hours to give her a break.
The general consensus seems to be I'm a prick so I'll leave it at that.
Thanks .
Not true Em. If you were an ugly minger, we'd all call you a prick.
But because you're hot, we're all thinking "prick" but wouldn't want to damage future chances by actually saying it .
More seriously, you're right, she's right, tragedy lies in the conflict of two rights, not a right and a wrong (that's Hegel again...just for Pickle ), and next time see if you can find someone a bit less 180 to your own preferences if you can.
Then, a great few days away knowing the kids are cared for and your home isn't a bombsite when you return is about the best it gets.
So people are only nice to me because they find me attractive when infact they think I'm a prick?
That's great to know"
No. It said a lot more.
But I think I'd better hide from interactions with you for a day or two. I've never seen you so Aries . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them.
Doesn't say it's a step daughter? Also £257, not £300. If you class someone doing you a favour as a reason to state they're taking the piss if its not quite to your standards. I'd point out it's you taking the piss
It does say it's my step daughter further up but yes €300 and 50 for a takeaway not pounds.
I do think you're enjoying picking fault with me though.
I'm genuinely curious as to how much people think I should have paid actually
How am I picking fault with you? My reply was to a different poster.
The price was agreed between yourselves, you obviously both felt it was fair. For context my daughter pays her 17yr old babysitter £20 for 2hrs during which she baths, feeds, puts the kids to bed. She also gives her a lift home. "
I'm actually wrong in this instance as I took the reply to be aimed at me so I apologise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't be happy coming home to what you came home to either.
£300 for 3 days is more than enough renumeration, it included room and board.
If there's a next time and you want to use your step daughter's services again I'd tell her what you'd expect the place to be like when you return. Some people don't realise they're taking the piss unless it's pointed out to them.
Doesn't say it's a step daughter? Also £257, not £300. If you class someone doing you a favour as a reason to state they're taking the piss if its not quite to your standards. I'd point out it's you taking the piss
It does say it's my step daughter further up but yes €300 and 50 for a takeaway not pounds.
I do think you're enjoying picking fault with me though.
I'm genuinely curious as to how much people think I should have paid actually
How am I picking fault with you? My reply was to a different poster.
The price was agreed between yourselves, you obviously both felt it was fair. For context my daughter pays her 17yr old babysitter £20 for 2hrs during which she baths, feeds, puts the kids to bed. She also gives her a lift home.
I'm actually wrong in this instance as I took the reply to be aimed at me so I apologise."
I missed the first part of your post about your daughter.
If we go out for a few hours and have her over to babysit ,we pay for a takeaway,the youngest will already be in bed as he goes down at 7 and give her €50. That's for roughly 4 maybe 5 hours.
If u was to use that as a means of adding what I should pay then it would've been over €700 that I should have paid for the 3 days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You aren't a prick Em, that's ridiculous overuse - 16 towels!!
If someone looked after my kids I wouldn't be happy them burning my candles etc either.
Seems they've just taken advantage personally.
Mrs
It's not so much using the candles as burning out two of them.They were also in a cupboard in my room so obviously weren't out for use either .
Rooting around your stuff, using every last thing to be found regardless of what it was. It all feels a little entitled and disrespectful; like fuck it not my shit to clean up or bills to pay or shopping to do. No sense of what it costs to run a house or the effort that would go into getting it ready to have someone else in your home before you go away.
With you making sure they had help and down time as well, it kinda comes across like they had a paid holiday in your house. Yes your kids were being minded, but when you think about your kids and their schedule/routines, does that mean they were brought out to playground, GAA matches or whatever activities they do, or was it an adult in the house chilling out whilst the kids do their own thing. Because that’s very different levels of effort and responsibility.
Ella
There were no extracurriculars.
My eldest doesn't come out of his room unless he's made to,he's a "gamer" so he says. On this occasion he was asked to help his sister for the weekend, which he did as I checked with him to make sure while I was away.
The youngest was taken to the park across from our house one of the days too."
So I can’t even defend it with maybe after a day of running around doing sports and going to be park, a bath, hair mask and a couple of candles was needed, but the shampoo bottle exploded with the heat from the candle. In a panic the wet wipes were used to mop it all up, just as the dog/cat/budgie jumped in the bath running through the house. As the wet wipes had all been used the 15 remaining towels had to be used to dry the poor family pet and dry the house………. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You aren't a prick Em, that's ridiculous overuse - 16 towels!!
If someone looked after my kids I wouldn't be happy them burning my candles etc either.
Seems they've just taken advantage personally.
Mrs
It's not so much using the candles as burning out two of them.They were also in a cupboard in my room so obviously weren't out for use either .
Rooting around your stuff, using every last thing to be found regardless of what it was. It all feels a little entitled and disrespectful; like fuck it not my shit to clean up or bills to pay or shopping to do. No sense of what it costs to run a house or the effort that would go into getting it ready to have someone else in your home before you go away.
With you making sure they had help and down time as well, it kinda comes across like they had a paid holiday in your house. Yes your kids were being minded, but when you think about your kids and their schedule/routines, does that mean they were brought out to playground, GAA matches or whatever activities they do, or was it an adult in the house chilling out whilst the kids do their own thing. Because that’s very different levels of effort and responsibility.
Ella
There were no extracurriculars.
My eldest doesn't come out of his room unless he's made to,he's a "gamer" so he says. On this occasion he was asked to help his sister for the weekend, which he did as I checked with him to make sure while I was away.
The youngest was taken to the park across from our house one of the days too.
So I can’t even defend it with maybe after a day of running around doing sports and going to be park, a bath, hair mask and a couple of candles was needed, but the shampoo bottle exploded with the heat from the candle. In a panic the wet wipes were used to mop it all up, just as the dog/cat/budgie jumped in the bath running through the house. As the wet wipes had all been used the 15 remaining towels had to be used to dry the poor family pet and dry the house………. "
we don't have pets anymore sadly but you never know it could've been the neighbours pets that got in through the open windows? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd be annoyed, OP. I feel for you.
I've definitely annoyed myself starting this thread "
It's amazing what will cause people to kick off. I wouldn't be issuing a repeat invitation for anyone who went through that amount of stuff in that period of time. And if I was babysitting and something happened that caused me to go through that amount of stuff, I'd at least put a load of washing on! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd be annoyed, OP. I feel for you.
I've definitely annoyed myself starting this thread
It's amazing what will cause people to kick off. I wouldn't be issuing a repeat invitation for anyone who went through that amount of stuff in that period of time. And if I was babysitting and something happened that caused me to go through that amount of stuff, I'd at least put a load of washing on!"
Shit happens,I know this.
I remember I was 14 and asked to mind my aunts 4 kids for two days. (Mental I know,you wouldn't see our happen now)
The kids were 10,7,4 and 8 months.
I got €100 for doing it .
The 7 year old cut the 4 year Olds fringe and the dog chewed the strap off the the 4 year Olds shoe .
I was distraught when they came back, I told them everything through snots and tears and tried to give them back their money .
I was traumatized after it
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The using the towels and not washing and drying them would have irritated me. Seems too many for the amount of days in question.
Full shampoo could have been that pesky potion making kids are fond of I suppose.
Wet wipes always get used in excess by those that don't pay for them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Well this got loud
Pardon?
I SAID...
That's fab for you "
Em, i don't think you need to defend yourself at all... Clearly what happen is not acceptable and i defy any of the arsey posters above to keep their cool under similar circumstances |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Does it annoy you when it's happening at your cost?
Have you experienced it?
Are you guilty of it yourself?
To add a little context.
We went away for a weekend(3 full days). I restocked everything so I knew the 2 kids and girl minding them would have everything they needed, it wouldn't cost her anything and everything needed would be to hand.
I ensured all the towels in the house were washed and dry bar the two used the night before we left.
All 16 were in the wash basket when I got back . I had to use 2 tea towels to dry myself
The full shampoo bottle was nearly gone.
The toilet roll was gone .
2 packets of water wipes!went to change the toddler and thought I was loosing it .
2 of my favourite candles burned out
The heating took a beating too,was left on almost constantly.
On one hand I'm annoyed,on the other I feel mean because she looked after my kids for 3 days.
How is it even possible
How would you feel?
(I'm aware this is ranty and I apologise, I just needed to vent)"
I hope you paid her at least £125 a day for that too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well this got loud
Pardon?
I SAID...
That's fab for you
Em, i don't think you need to defend yourself at all... Clearly what happen is not acceptable and i defy any of the arsey posters above to keep their cool under similar circumstances "
Who was being arsey? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Im glad im not the only one who has kids that go through so many towels, toilet paper, shower gel shampoo etc.
Ive got an ensuite and my shower gel /shampoo and toilet rolls last for ages unlike the kids who go through massive amounts . I buy the cheap stuff for them as they consume so much.
Op I think you've every right to be pissed of , I would be to . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I get your frustration, i really do. But to have a child free couple of days, where your children are fed, watered and cared for...for me it would be worth it and i think i'd just let it go over my head |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does it annoy you when it's happening at your cost?
Have you experienced it?
Are you guilty of it yourself?
To add a little context.
We went away for a weekend(3 full days). I restocked everything so I knew the 2 kids and girl minding them would have everything they needed, it wouldn't cost her anything and everything needed would be to hand.
I ensured all the towels in the house were washed and dry bar the two used the night before we left.
All 16 were in the wash basket when I got back . I had to use 2 tea towels to dry myself
The full shampoo bottle was nearly gone.
The toilet roll was gone .
2 packets of water wipes!went to change the toddler and thought I was loosing it .
2 of my favourite candles burned out
The heating took a beating too,was left on almost constantly.
On one hand I'm annoyed,on the other I feel mean because she looked after my kids for 3 days.
How is it even possible
How would you feel?
(I'm aware this is ranty and I apologise, I just needed to vent)
I hope you paid her at least £125 a day for that too"
Read the thread ya? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Can we just let it die now please.
I'll pay through the nose and keep my mouth shut in future.
I've read all the posts, no more needs to be said."
Dead as a dodo. Deep breaths, Em.
Now, can you lend me some shampoo?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Can we just let it die now please.
I'll pay through the nose and keep my mouth shut in future.
I've read all the posts, no more needs to be said.
Dead as a dodo. Deep breaths, Em.
Now, can you lend me some shampoo?
"
And towels |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
