FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do women have more kinks than guys
Do women have more kinks than guys
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By (user no longer on site) OP 37 weeks ago
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From what I have seen on fab more women have more kinks than the guys, it might be me but think the lady's have more precise kinks where as the guys will mostly go along with most things |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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I've definitely met way more vanilla, sexually unadventurous and inexperienced men than kinky ones. I think it might be a lack of experience and confidence, but also a lack of imagination ..... c*ck in mouth and pussy works for most men.... if a bit adventurous they may add a bit of anal (but don't touch theirs) .... if really lucky they may lick your pussy or finger you ... but youd bestbsuck them even if they don't reciprocate.
Majority of men have spontaneous sexual desire ... where as most women don't. Women have responsive and contextual sexual desire ... so that's where kinks can help.
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"From what I have seen on fab more women have more kinks than the guys, it might be me but think the lady's have more precise kinks where as the guys will mostly go along with most things "
Nope my Dad's definitely kinkier then my mum, just saying....
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I've definitely met way more vanilla, sexually unadventurous and inexperienced men than kinky ones. I think it might be a lack of experience and confidence, but also a lack of imagination ..... c*ck in mouth and pussy works for most men.... if a bit adventurous they may add a bit of anal (but don't touch theirs) .... if really lucky they may lick your pussy or finger you ... but youd bestbsuck them even if they don't reciprocate.
Majority of men have spontaneous sexual desire ... where as most women don't. Women have responsive and contextual sexual desire ... so that's where kinks can help.
"
Very well put indeed and sadly probably quite accurate in most cases.
Personally I enjoy kink. Especially enjoy having my bum played with/ licked /fingered but also find it hard to find a woman who enjoys doing that to man. I love the build and exploring of each other x |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"Id agree with that.
But a small section of kinky men let themselves down because they become obsessed with there kink, door fetish guys are the worst, and do me subs second. "
Alot of wannabe doms .... that are only interested in their own pleasure and treating women as f*ck toys. Usually easily spotted and avoided. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"From what I have seen on fab more women have more kinks than the guys, it might be me but think the lady's have more precise kinks where as the guys will mostly go along with most things "
I just reckon women are a lot more accept as a whole when they say their kinks. They are almost glamorised. Where as a guy runs the risk on here, of being ridiculed if he wrote anything close to what he desired and fantasised about.
Prove me wrong
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I wouldn't say I was kinky, but when I ask a guy what he is into, I get either the same vanilla things, or why to kinky for me.
I do agree that some men don't like to say what turns them on in fear that he will be ridiculed. X |
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By *eliWoman 37 weeks ago
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"I just reckon women are a lot more accept as a whole when they say their kinks. They are almost glamorised. Where as a guy runs the risk on here, of being ridiculed if he wrote anything close to what he desired and fantasised about.
Prove me wrong
"
Yeah but who does the glamourising? Men. It's seen as being designed to titillate, not a simple exchange of information.
Have you noticed the amount of women who ask for no private messaging on certain topics? A woman's expression of her sexuality is still seen as being for the men. Not for her.
A woman could start a thread saying utter bollocks and there'll be a man fapping himself senseless at the thought of it.
I think there are an awful lot of kinky men on Fab. Know there is. How it's handled though?
Take for example SPH. Why do people try to get others to engage in their kink when they haven't consented to it?
I think men should be more open to discussing their kinks on here but let's not pretend men have a large role to play as to why your post is true. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I just reckon women are a lot more accept as a whole when they say their kinks. They are almost glamorised. Where as a guy runs the risk on here, of being ridiculed if he wrote anything close to what he desired and fantasised about.
Prove me wrong
Yeah but who does the glamourising? Men. It's seen as being designed to titillate, not a simple exchange of information.
Have you noticed the amount of women who ask for no private messaging on certain topics? A woman's expression of her sexuality is still seen as being for the men. Not for her.
A woman could start a thread saying utter bollocks and there'll be a man fapping himself senseless at the thought of it.
I think there are an awful lot of kinky men on Fab. Know there is. How it's handled though?
Take for example SPH. Why do people try to get others to engage in their kink when they haven't consented to it?
I think men should be more open to discussing their kinks on here but let's not pretend men have a large role to play as to why your post is true. "
I agree to sone of that.
Eh - MOST posts are from men asking what women are into and women don’t need to post a thread to explore men’s thought/kinks as they’re so busy and have no need to start conversation as they’re in so many already.
But. An older woman has a kink for a younger guy - cougar. Other way around he’s a dirty old man. And there’s so many more I could demonstrate with.
And maybe it is guys that fed the view I’m pointing out, and that’s just one example. It’s almost shaming men, whilst making a woman even more desirable. And that’s not just in FAB. |
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By *eliWoman 37 weeks ago
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"MOST posts are from men asking what women are into and women don’t need to post a thread to explore men’s thought/kinks as they’re so busy and have no need to start conversation as they’re in so many already. "
When I start a thread about kinks or sex or general smut I'm not doing it to find someone to explore those things with. Maybe that's quim power. I want to genuinely learn another's point of view. I wish it could be discussed without being seen as me wanting to be pillaged in every orifice.
I might do a thread later for men. If it's kept to the thread and no one messages me saying they'd love to experience/do that with me? It'll be a first.
"But. An older woman has a kink for a younger guy - cougar. Other way around he’s a dirty old man. And there’s so many more I could demonstrate with. "
I don't know about that, I'd call him daddy not a dirty old man.
"And maybe it is guys that fed the view I’m pointing out, and that’s just one example. It’s almost shaming men, whilst making a woman even more desirable. And that’s not just in FAB. "
Look, I think people feed that view but the vast majority of the time it's men who do. Which is a crying shame. Take bisexuality.
Oh a woman is bisexual? Great, let's ask her if she wants a threesome. Repeatedly. With her friends because **** it, we all know women love to go muff diving on their close friends. It's this porn applied to real life view which is tiresome, patriarchal wanking doing the talking.
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
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By *bi HaiveMan 37 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I guess from experience over the years that the second a woman makes any kind of statement regarding her likes, preferences and kinks, there'll be an abundance of guys screaming 'pick me', claiming to have vast experience in the field and professing superior knowledge on the subject. Whether they have zero interest/experience in it at all, bluffing their way in order to move up the potential partner list.
Conversely when men publicly state an interest/kink/fetish only those women who are at all interested will engage.
I don't think necessarily there's any disparity between genders regarding one being 'kinkier' than the other. It's just that often women tend to keep that kind of conversation behind closed doors with individuals and men are more likely to think of it as a hook, or bragging rights and something that will benefit their experience on here.
People often like to keep their personal tastes just that - personal. Only to be shared once they're comfortable with someone. And of course just because someone enjoys a certain activity that doesn't mean its something they want 24/7 or with everyone they encounter.
It's why second guessing someone's preferences based on what appears in the Fab interests is never wise.
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"
Oh a woman is bisexual? Great, let's ask her if she wants a threesome. Repeatedly. With her friends because **** it, we all know women love to go muff diving on their close friends. It's this porn applied to real life view which is tiresome, patriarchal wanking doing the talking.
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
"
OMG even if you are not bisexual ... I've been asked so many times if I have friends who'd like to do a 3some .... once mid fuck and the guy was telling me even named the friend .... Needless to say he was ditched and best friend remains with no muff contact made.
Suggest to them you'd like to see them suck their friends off and they look horrified and protest they are not gay.
Same with bum stuff.... countless men want to bang my arse according to my inbox .... but only a very small minority would be happy with my pegging them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I guess from experience over the years that the second a woman makes any kind of statement regarding her likes, preferences and kinks, there'll be an abundance of guys screaming 'pick me', claiming to have vast experience in the field and professing superior knowledge on the subject. Whether they have zero interest/experience in it at all, bluffing their way in order to move up the potential partner list.
Conversely when men publicly state an interest/kink/fetish only those women who are at all interested will engage.
I don't think necessarily there's any disparity between genders regarding one being 'kinkier' than the other. It's just that often women tend to keep that kind of conversation behind closed doors with individuals and men are more likely to think of it as a hook, or bragging rights and something that will benefit their experience on here.
People often like to keep their personal tastes just that - personal. Only to be shared once they're comfortable with someone. And of course just because someone enjoys a certain activity that doesn't mean its something they want 24/7 or with everyone they encounter.
It's why second guessing someone's preferences based on what appears in the Fab interests is never wise.
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you. "
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"
Oh a woman is bisexual? Great, let's ask her if she wants a threesome. Repeatedly. With her friends because **** it, we all know women love to go muff diving on their close friends. It's this porn applied to real life view which is tiresome, patriarchal wanking doing the talking.
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
OMG even if you are not bisexual ... I've been asked so many times if I have friends who'd like to do a 3some .... once mid fuck and the guy was telling me even named the friend .... Needless to say he was ditched and best friend remains with no muff contact made.
Suggest to them you'd like to see them suck their friends off and they look horrified and protest they are not gay.
Same with bum stuff.... countless men want to bang my arse according to my inbox .... but only a very small minority would be happy with my pegging them. "
Maybe you’re the rare one. Seems very difficult to get a woman to peg me x |
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"
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
"
Literally this. There are SO many posts on here about guys saying they're straight but actually being bi and it's all guys who say 'when I put bi on my profile, lots of people rejected me for it'... Im almost certain that most of the time it isn't that at all 
As for who is kinkier, men or women. There is literally no way that anyone could gauge that as thing. It also entirely depends on your idea of 'kinky' one guy mentioned being rimmed and having his ass played with - for us that's part of 'normal' sex! Some people think it's only kinky sex if they're tied up and being hit with a cane, some people think kinky is having sex with the lights on.
As long as everyone is having fun and being safe who cares! |
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I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place  . |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place ."
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock  |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"
Maybe you’re the rare one. Seems very difficult to get a woman to peg me x"
Well I am a rare quality lady 
My point was that the worst of the men on here.... seem to think women are here to fulfill their fantasies, to be a free fuck .... without paying a sex worker. Or they are just happy to get their d*cks wet without consideration to whose orifice it's going in and what pleasure they might need to give. |
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock "
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight.. |
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"
Same with bum stuff.... countless men want to bang my arse according to my inbox .... but only a very small minority would be happy with my pegging them. "
I’m the other way, it’s only fair that if I put anything up your bum, you can put it up mine too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"….
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
"
So, like me - Do you see women being lifted more than men are, … generally? But all genders?
Or do you think women actually are keen that men express their kinks ?
Obi mentioned something about talking privately, I’m very open to discussing privately, possibly the sane reason you mentioned, I don’t need people in my inbox for the sake of discussion. I want to share my kinks with someone I want to explore them with. Kinda, because I do drop hints, it’s a shame someone doesn’t pick up on them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight.."
So vanilla, it's an artic roll |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight..
So vanilla, it's an artic roll "
Sure, can I smear that all over your body when you’re tied to my kitchen table and lick it all off you? |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight..
So vanilla, it's an artic roll
Sure, can I smear that all over your body when you’re tied to my kitchen table and lick it all off you? "
 wait is it vegan 
I have a funny story about an artic roll and my mum... oh i better message it lol |
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight..
So vanilla, it's an artic roll "
 .
I'm off now with my emasculated cock hanging forlornly between my legs.
Gonna go put some whipped cream on my titties, put a small electric fan up my arse, squeeze my helmet in the garlic crush and listen to Val Doonican.
I know my place xx |
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"….
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
So, like me - Do you see women being lifted more than men are, … generally? But all genders?
Or do you think women actually are keen that men express their kinks ?
Obi mentioned something about talking privately, I’m very open to discussing privately, possibly the sane reason you mentioned, I don’t need people in my inbox for the sake of discussion. I want to share my kinks with someone I want to explore them with. Kinda, because I do drop hints, it’s a shame someone doesn’t pick up on them. "
I don't think dropping hints when it comes to wanting to explore kinks and fetish's is the right thing to do.
You need to clearly communicate what it is that you want from play with whoever you're playing with. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight..
So vanilla, it's an artic roll
.
I'm off now with my emasculated cock hanging forlornly between my legs.
Gonna go put some whipped cream on my titties, put a small electric fan up my arse, squeeze my helmet in the garlic crush and listen to Val Doonican.
I know my place xx"
Kinky |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"….
I wish men felt more comfortable owni…
…
I don’t need people in my inbox for the sake of discussion. I want to share my kinks with someone I want to explore them with. Kinda, because I do drop hints, it’s a shame someone doesn’t pick up on them.
I don't think dropping hints when it comes to wanting to explore kinks and fetish's is the right thing to do.
You need to clearly communicate what it is that you want from play with whoever you're playing with."
Sorry. I drop hints publicly. If I’m talking to someone privately, I’m very clear if they want to know or I think they might be the same as me with views.
Maybe I didn’t explain that well.  |
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock
I think any meaningful kink relationship must surely encompass both, especially if he pins you down after for fucked missionary, choking you, and spitting in your open mouth?
Filling you slow and deep...hard...brutal...fast...with never-ending eye contact.
Dunno though.
Over to you Midnight..
So vanilla, it's an artic roll
.
I'm off now with my emasculated cock hanging forlornly between my legs.
Gonna go put some whipped cream on my titties, put a small electric fan up my arse, squeeze my helmet in the garlic crush and listen to Val Doonican.
I know my place xx
Kinky "
Nope. Not playing. You bad girl make my willy shrivel.
I go bye! |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I guess from experience over the years that the second a woman makes any kind of statement regarding her likes, preferences and kinks, there'll be an abundance of guys screaming 'pick me', claiming to have vast experience in the field and professing superior knowledge on the subject. Whether they have zero interest/experience in it at all, bluffing their way in order to move up the potential partner list.
Conversely when men publicly state an interest/kink/fetish only those women who are at all interested will engage.
I don't think necessarily there's any disparity between genders regarding one being 'kinkier' than the other. It's just that often women tend to keep that kind of conversation behind closed doors with individuals and men are more likely to think of it as a hook, or bragging rights and something that will benefit their experience on here.
People often like to keep their personal tastes just that - personal. Only to be shared once they're comfortable with someone. And of course just because someone enjoys a certain activity that doesn't mean its something they want 24/7 or with everyone they encounter.
It's why second guessing someone's preferences based on what appears in the Fab interests is never wise.
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you. "
The conversation comment is so true - conversations open up entire new worlds - i think when you enjoy kinks, your journey often evolves over time and you find yourself with new appetites that you perhaps would have dismissed previously... It's wonderful when you find someone that is on your wavelength |
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"I guess from experience over the years that the second a woman makes any kind of statement regarding her likes, preferences and kinks, there'll be an abundance of guys screaming 'pick me', claiming to have vast experience in the field and professing superior knowledge on the subject. Whether they have zero interest/experience in it at all, bluffing their way in order to move up the potential partner list.
Conversely when men publicly state an interest/kink/fetish only those women who are at all interested will engage.
I don't think necessarily there's any disparity between genders regarding one being 'kinkier' than the other. It's just that often women tend to keep that kind of conversation behind closed doors with individuals and men are more likely to think of it as a hook, or bragging rights and something that will benefit their experience on here.
People often like to keep their personal tastes just that - personal. Only to be shared once they're comfortable with someone. And of course just because someone enjoys a certain activity that doesn't mean its something they want 24/7 or with everyone they encounter.
It's why second guessing someone's preferences based on what appears in the Fab interests is never wise.
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you. "
This comment is pretty much perfect.
J |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I ….
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you.
The conversation comment is so true - conversations open up entire new worlds - i think when you enjoy kinks, your journey often evolves over time and you find yourself with new appetites that you perhaps would have dismissed previously... It's wonderful when you find someone that is on your wavelength "
But we already know, publicly there are only a few kinks you can open the talk about, as many things are not allowed.
And that’s why finding somebody who is on my wavelength is very very rare. |
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"I ….
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you.
The conversation comment is so true - conversations open up entire new worlds - i think when you enjoy kinks, your journey often evolves over time and you find yourself with new appetites that you perhaps would have dismissed previously... It's wonderful when you find someone that is on your wavelength
But we already know, publicly there are only a few kinks you can open the talk about, as many things are not allowed.
And that’s why finding somebody who is on my wavelength is very very rare. "
If the kink is that important to you there are websites for that.
The sort of kink you can't talk about on here require a deep level of trust. It's not going to be something for a first meet.
J |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I ….
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you.
The conversation comment is so true - conversations open up entire new worlds - i think when you enjoy kinks, your journey often evolves over time and you find yourself with new appetites that you perhaps would have dismissed previously... It's wonderful when you find someone that is on your wavelength
But we already know, publicly there are only a few kinks you can open the talk about, as many things are not allowed.
And that’s why finding somebody who is on my wavelength is very very rare.
If the kink is that important to you there are websites for that.
The sort of kink you can't talk about on here require a deep level of trust. It's not going to be something for a first meet.
J"
Again…. Let’s agree that I’m not looking for something on the 1st time.
This is how people begin to assume.
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"I ….
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you.
The conversation comment is so true - conversations open up entire new worlds - i think when you enjoy kinks, your journey often evolves over time and you find yourself with new appetites that you perhaps would have dismissed previously... It's wonderful when you find someone that is on your wavelength
But we already know, publicly there are only a few kinks you can open the talk about, as many things are not allowed.
And that’s why finding somebody who is on my wavelength is very very rare.
If the kink is that important to you there are websites for that.
The sort of kink you can't talk about on here require a deep level of trust. It's not going to be something for a first meet.
J
Again…. Let’s agree that I’m not looking for something on the 1st time.
This is how people begin to assume.
"
Then why are you dropping public hints? I'm not trying to be argumentative. I'm trying to understand.
J |
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I think it very much depends on the individual, not the gender.
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However, working against that are wider, societal forces of tradition and expectation (all derived from Patriarchal demands, I hasten to add), which vilify women if they dare to step out of certain boundaries.
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So in answer to the original question, are women less kinky, then no. They are human and have needs and desires just like men do.
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The difference being they are heavily oppressed and ostracised for non-conforming to patriarchal (and also matriarchal) expectations, and this creates a climate of fear and deep unhappiness.
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We all have a part to play in challenging these societal expectations and rigid rules of conformance, and I'd like to see more men and women express their greatest needs and desires without fear or judgement.
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It's one of the reasons I gravitated towards the BDSM scene, helping men and women explore their needs and desires in a safe and accepting environment. I'm trying to do my bit too |
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So much interesting opinion.
Men do seem to be focussed on their desires to the point that a kick can become all consuming. It's not enough to wear a dress, he must have the best dress and the best make up and the most extreme toys. This may simply be down to the drive in men that testosterone creates.
In my experience, women are less concerned with seeing how far something can go and are more more interested in that feeling in that moment. The want for a good time is different to trying to create one.
Men will approach women with a fetish in mind. 'I want a woman to peg me' is a very common thing to read. They are looking for someone to deliver a sex act when they should be looking for a woman, who may one day if the relationship grows, peg him.
I believe most of us want to please the person we are with and as we get older we learn more about how we like to be pleased. Because of this there is likely to be some 'kink matching'. But to say one sex has more kinks than the other is inaccurate. It's better to say there's are one million and one things two (or more) people can do with each other, so the more open the mind the more things can be done. |
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I think women ate far more adventurous and imaginative than I expect and sometimes feel
like they surpass me a little. Not sure I have that unquenchable thirst to go further and further. I think I see risks they don’t sometimes
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I ….
Talk to people. Have conversations. Establish mutual interests. Never assume that just because they enjoyed something with soneone else they'll be keen to do it with you.
The conversation comment is so true - conversations open up entire new worlds - i think when you enjoy kinks, your journey often evolves over time and you find yourself with new appetites that you perhaps would have dismissed previously... It's wonderful when you find someone that is on your wavelength
But we already know, publicly there are only a few kinks you can open the talk about, as many things are not allowed.
And that’s why finding somebody who is on my wavelength is very very rare.
If the kink is that important to you there are websites for that.
The sort of kink you can't talk about on here require a deep level of trust. It's not going to be something for a first meet.
J
Again…. Let’s agree that I’m not looking for something on the 1st time.
This is how people begin to assume.
Then why are you dropping public hints? I'm not trying to be argumentative. I'm trying to understand.
J"
Because it would be pointless talking to people in depth of my desires and wants and kinks with anyone I have no intention of matching up with.
So, I’d go into detail and explore those things over time, hopefully.
But hopefully that relationship started from her or I picking up on a subtle hint somewhere, like a look across from the bar noticing an anklet, or the way she’d respond if I said hello, or the way she thanked me for doing something for her etc.
but online those hints are difficult to drop. Are you keeping up? (Not being patronising, I’m trying to keep this short)
But you said, if my kinks cannot be talked about on here, they shouldn’t be done the first time.
Are you telling me, there are only things going on between people registered on the Fab, that adhere to the rules what Fab allow us to talk about?
Or would you agree that in private people might be talking about them, or even better enjoying those kinks?
And like I said, I would hate people to assume that I want to tie someone to a door and have her let me do whatever I want to her, the very first time I meet her. Because that person, assuming would have made a very big error.
Sorry op of the thread, somebody asked a question so I’m answering
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By *eliWoman 37 weeks ago
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"
Oh a woman is bisexual? Great, let's ask her if she wants a threesome. Repeatedly. With her friends because **** it, we all know women love to go muff diving on their close friends. It's this porn applied to real life view which is tiresome, patriarchal wanking doing the talking.
OMG even if you are not bisexual ... I've been asked so many times if I have friends who'd like to do a 3some .... once mid fuck and the guy was telling me even named the friend .... Needless to say he was ditched and best friend remains with no muff contact made.
Suggest to them you'd like to see them suck their friends off and they look horrified and protest they are not gay.
Same with bum stuff.... countless men want to bang my arse according to my inbox .... but only a very small minority would be happy with my pegging them. "
Yep. This is a tangent and I'm well aware of that! It's tiring though. Friendships aren't curated for a man to pick 'n' mix his ideal threesome. It's just... meh. Very meh.  |
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"From what I have seen on fab more women have more kinks than the guys, it might be me but think the lady's have more precise kinks where as the guys will mostly go along with most things "
Or perhaps women tend to put more thought and effort into filling out their profile comprehensively?! |
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"I think it very much depends on the individual, not the gender.
.
However, working against that are wider, societal forces of tradition and expectation (all derived from Patriarchal demands, I hasten to add), which vilify women if they dare to step out of certain boundaries.
.
So in answer to the original question, are women less kinky, then no. They are human and have needs and desires just like men do.
.
The difference being they are heavily oppressed and ostracised for non-conforming to patriarchal (and also matriarchal) expectations, and this creates a climate of fear and deep unhappiness.
"
I was thinking in terms of women on fab not women in general. My experience is they are far more liberated sexually, in many cases not interested at all in meeting for vanilla sex |
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I keep my kinks firmly to myself. Otherwise
A) my inbox gets battered with people who are definitely into that….
B) it’s then assumed that’s all I want. When in fact there’s a myriad of very pleasant vanilla (to me) things to enjoy as well
C) some things are just too dangerous to trust to the random internet folk.
D) my female friends would run away screaming
E) it’s mysterious innit |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"From what I have seen on fab more women have more kinks than the guys, it might be me but think the lady's have more precise kinks where as the guys will mostly go along with most things
Or perhaps women tend to put more thought and effort into filling out their profile comprehensively?!"
My profile is fully comprehensive |
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"From what I have seen on fab more women have more kinks than the guys, it might be me but think the lady's have more precise kinks where as the guys will mostly go along with most things
Or perhaps women tend to put more thought and effort into filling out their profile comprehensively?!
My profile is fully comprehensive "
Well- a picture paints a thousand words… love the rainbow socks, BTW! |
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By *eliWoman 37 weeks ago
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"….
I wish men felt more comfortable owning their sexuality but the double standards surrounding it? Oft the root cause is men.
So, like me - Do you see women being lifted more than men are, … generally? But all genders?
Or do you think women actually are keen that men express their kinks ?
Obi mentioned something about talking privately, I’m very open to discussing privately, possibly the sane reason you mentioned, I don’t need people in my inbox for the sake of discussion. I want to share my kinks with someone I want to explore them with. Kinda, because I do drop hints, it’s a shame someone doesn’t pick up on them. "
Do I think women are "lifted" more than men? I'm not sure Woody. Apologies for gleefully taking apart your previous post! It's a compliment of sorts, I feel comfortable knowing you won't take it as a personal attack.
I think women are keen for more to express their kinks if the interest is there. I think women can grow tired of kinks being assumed, of having messages asking "is my cock small"? and their whole profile is knowingly constructed to indulge in that kink, of the assumption that just because it's discussed a woman would want to explore it with every person.
There are a couple of things I've discussed with someone very recently. Would I talk about them with everyone? F no. I'd not mentioned one to anyone until recentlyish. A poster above (Metal and Kink I think is his name) said about men approaching with a kink in mind, women are looking more for the person and seeing what unfolds. I think that's a generalisation but also one I've found to be true in my experience.
I don't think women are more kinky than men or vice versa. I do think that the gendered celebration/dislike of their depiction isn't helped by the male gaze. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"….
….
I think women are keen for more to express their kinks if the interest is there. I think women can grow tired of kinks being assumed, of having messages asking "is my cock small"? and their whole profile is knowingly constructed to indulge in that kink, of the assumption that just because it's discussed a woman would want to explore it with every person.
……..
A poster above (Metal and Kink I think is his name) said about men approaching with a kink in mind, women are looking more for the person and seeing what unfolds. I think that's a generalisation but also one I've found to be true in my experience.
….
"
Maybe I’m a woman. …. because that’s where I can agree, a person would be scratching my itch, and not just because I fancy doing something. And the reason I wouldn’t walk into a dungeon just a smack someone’s ass.
Each to their own, but my kinks are specific to a person I desire, they kind of feed flame. If I was in a relationship, it would be a fucking blaze because I would be open to want a lot of things.
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"I'm really hoping "door fetish" is where the guy stands behind the door as the woman is bringing herself off, and just as she's about to cum he swings the door open and shouts "Peek-a-Boo" really loudly, thus destroying the climax.
I mean, only a cunt would do it.
But it has its place .
Or maybe he wants the door slamming on his cock "
More likely. |
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"….
….
I think women are keen for more to express their kinks if the interest is there. I think women can grow tired of kinks being assumed, of having messages asking "is my cock small"? and their whole profile is knowingly constructed to indulge in that kink, of the assumption that just because it's discussed a woman would want to explore it with every person.
……..
A poster above (Metal and Kink I think is his name) said about men approaching with a kink in mind, women are looking more for the person and seeing what unfolds. I think that's a generalisation but also one I've found to be true in my experience.
….
Maybe I’m a woman. …. because that’s where I can agree, a person would be scratching my itch, and not just because I fancy doing something. And the reason I wouldn’t walk into a dungeon just a smack someone’s ass.
Each to their own, but my kinks are specific to a person I desire, they kind of feed flame. If I was in a relationship, it would be a fucking blaze because I would be open to want a lot of things.
"
I recently walked into a dungeon with a lady to explore our mutual interests in Violet Wand electric play among other things. We had great fun and lots of blethers about non fab topics too. It's all about connection |
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"I keep my kinks firmly to myself. Otherwise
A) my inbox gets battered with people who are definitely into that….
B) it’s then assumed that’s all I want. When in fact there’s a myriad of very pleasant vanilla (to me) things to enjoy as well
C) some things are just too dangerous to trust to the random internet folk.
D) my female friends would run away screaming
E) it’s mysterious innit "
Well now I really want to know what you're into.. |
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We share our kinks on another site.
Here we say we are kink friendly.
As someone said earlier, people see kinks differently. What is kinky to some is very vanilla to others.
We are happy to talk about our kinks to those that show interest. Otherwise we keep things simple here.
One thing that is important to us, is the fact that we don't do, or agree with kink shaming.. whatever a person likes kink wise, or feels is kinky to them, we totally respect. Even if we don't consider it kinky, or it's not our preferred kink. ( to be fair, the latter is unlikely ) |
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"Id agree with that.
But a small section of kinky men let themselves down because they become obsessed with there kink, door fetish guys are the worst, and do me subs second. "
Now I'm not vanilla, and more mint pistachio than raspberry ripple, but what in the world is a door fetish? (Is it when a guy likes a girl to tell him to "shut it!") |
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I wouldn't say women have more kinks than men.
What I would call out is sex is in the mind. If you consider that then it's clear that women are more focused on those mental aspects of sex, whether that be kink or not and are very clear in what they're looking for. Ie describing kink as something they're interested in.
Men on the other hand (large application of brush here) tend to think about sex between thier legs. So don't have the same forethought to define what they're seeking or interested in. I'd suspect that cones across with lack of describing what it is they're looking for and hence little description of kink  |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Id agree with that.
But a small section of kinky men let themselves down because they become obsessed with there kink, door fetish guys are the worst, and do me subs second. "
How does a door fetish work?  |
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