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By *ixenited OP Woman 25 weeks ago
Here or There abouts |
The elusive thank you but no thank you. You know via msg when you've no attractive chemistry whatsoever but you like thar person as a friend how do you say that? Do you just say it straight or??
For example I've had guys call me a bitch because I've stated I don't find them attractive but I'd like to continue a platonic relationship with them like how very dare I have a sexual preference here!!. |
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"The elusive thank you but no thank you. You know via msg when you've no attractive chemistry whatsoever but you like thar person as a friend how do you say that? Do you just say it straight or??
For example I've had guys call me a bitch because I've stated I don't find them attractive but I'd like to continue a platonic relationship with them like how very dare I have a sexual preference here!!. "
Is this on FAB or in real times? |
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By *ixenited OP Woman 25 weeks ago
Here or There abouts |
"The elusive thank you but no thank you. You know via msg when you've no attractive chemistry whatsoever but you like thar person as a friend how do you say that? Do you just say it straight or??
For example I've had guys call me a bitch because I've stated I don't find them attractive but I'd like to continue a platonic relationship with them like how very dare I have a sexual preference here!!.
Is this on FAB or in real times?"
Purely in fab world, when you feel a connection but not a sexual one and may be you end up friends for life or dead to one another.. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I send a really polite message, thanking them for their chat and explaining they are lovely burning don't want to take it further.
If I am open to continued chatting I will say so. If not I wish then luck finding what they are looking for.
Even if I've moved off fab to chat it's not a guarantee of a meet. Sometimes over time you realise that the chemistry is not there and you don't want anything sexually.
You can't control how they will react, just be polite and kind. |
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"The elusive thank you but no thank you. You know via msg when you've no attractive chemistry whatsoever but you like thar person as a friend how do you say that? Do you just say it straight or??
For example I've had guys call me a bitch because I've stated I don't find them attractive but I'd like to continue a platonic relationship with them like how very dare I have a sexual preference here!!. "
Sound like you did everything you could do to let them down gently in a kind, respectful way while also trying to be honest in your reply. Sadly some people just can’t handle rejection and lash out. It nothing you’ve done or could have done different it’s them. Believe me I know it sucks being rejected and it does knock a person confidence when it happens a lot but that in no ways excuses them from being anything but polite and respectful about your feelings. Even if it comes as a blow, they should still be appreciative that you was honest and straight with them while also taking the time and consideration to let them down gently and not just ignore their message or crush with a nasty rejection message. I think it lovely you offered them friendship as many have no interest in that side of swinging and only chat with people they want to sleep with. Which I think is a shame as I always felt personally that not swinger connections have to be sexual ones, they can also be platonic friendship like with no swinger connections. Don’t let it put you off or give them another thought, the problem is with them x |
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"I think a nice reply is always good just say thank you for the message but your not for me happy fabbing "
But the OP has just shown how quickly it can turn if you make the effort to do this. I've gone from sexy to fat bitch in one message simply because I sent a nice polite no thank you.
Evie |
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"I think a nice reply is always good just say thank you for the message but your not for me happy fabbing
But the OP has just shown how quickly it can turn if you make the effort to do this. I've gone from sexy to fat bitch in one message simply because I sent a nice polite no thank you.
Evie "
Just respond with a “lol” and then block them. |
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You can say you'd love to be a platonic friend and no more without actually saying you don't find someone attractive, it's not necessary.
Given we're on a swinging site the majority are hoping for sex. There's no need to call someone names though. |
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By *eliWoman 25 weeks ago
. |
" You can say you'd love to be a platonic friend and no more without actually saying you don't find someone attractive, it's not necessary. "
Oh I don't know, I'd love for someone to say 'Hey Meli, I think you're ugly but I'd like to be friends with you'. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I used to give a polite no thanks, I stopped that a whole ago - the backlash isn't worth being polite.
Mrs "
Always be polite.  the backlash is easily ignored. Xx |
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By *bi HaiveMan 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
If its just following chat on here then I'd just say that I'm more than happy to continue with messages but it won't be going any further. And if that's not what they want then it's best to draw a line now Nd ket them focus on someone else.
If its after meeting in person, whether you've got naked or not, I'd say the same.
Everyone is entitled to decide how they want any form of 'relationship' to progress and if uts not what either party wants then calling it quits and moving on is in everyone's best interests.
Any negativity or abuse that follows a decline just tells you that you were right. At that point just block and move on. Keep things polite and don't get sucked into responding at all if they turn abusive. Be better than them. |
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" You can say you'd love to be a platonic friend and no more without actually saying you don't find someone attractive, it's not necessary.
Oh I don't know, I'd love for someone to say 'Hey Meli, I think you're ugly but I'd like to be friends with you'."
It feels like a consolation prize doesn't it. |
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One of the things I think men in particular need to learn is that the site is often about time and space - I have had more than one occasion where someone says I am not for them. That’s fine. I understand that. Just say thanks and walk away graciously. Six months later they are getting in touch saying they like the profile, etc and we end up meeting. Different time and space - different outcome.
Fabs is not a one shot and done thing. Play the longer game. |
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Op if you've received an abusive message report it.
I'd reconsider telling people outright you don't find them attractive though. I don't think I'd be particularly keen to meet as a friend after that. |
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By *red333Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"The elusive thank you but no thank you. You know via msg when you've no attractive chemistry whatsoever but you like thar person as a friend how do you say that? Do you just say it straight or??
For example I've had guys call me a bitch because I've stated I don't find them attractive but I'd like to continue a platonic relationship with them like how very dare I have a sexual preference here!!. "
We all want to be fancied i guess but what do they get out of it as a friend?  |
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If I ever start chatting with someone, I'll always explain that it doesn't mean I'd meet them.
I say it depends on if we hit it off and if there's an attraction for me.
If I do like them, but don't find them attractive, I'd just explain that they're not for me & leave it up to them if they want to stay in touch. |
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"You're doing it right....but if you get abusive responses hit the report button.
The swinger world really does bring the worst out in some people. "
I doubt it's the swinger world more single guy not getting any sex world. |
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"One of the things I think men in particular need to learn is that the site is often about time and space - I have had more than one occasion where someone says I am not for them. That’s fine. I understand that. Just say thanks and walk away graciously. Six months later they are getting in touch saying they like the profile, etc and we end up meeting. Different time and space - different outcome.
Fabs is not a one shot and done thing. Play the longer game."
shoot for the stars... exactly we are open minded adults no hard feelings
 |
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By *hiskasMan 25 weeks ago
Llanelli |
"You're doing it right....but if you get abusive responses hit the report button.
The swinger world really does bring the worst out in some people.
I doubt it's the swinger world more single guy not getting any sex world. "
I agree with your comment, I'd say its more the single men that are just after a hook up that start, people that are on here to swing, know that you may not be someone's type, and that's fine. You can still chat and have a laugh with them, without needing to sleep with them.
As to the OPs question, tell them straight, blunt honesty is the best way, and if the get abusive, report them, from what I have seen in the few mths iv been on here, men will pester the women, sending message after message and kick off if you say NO THANKS to them, well if they are snowflakes and can't take rejection, they shoul go pay for a hoover, not be on a site for swingers. |
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"The elusive thank you but no thank you. You know via msg when you've no attractive chemistry whatsoever but you like thar person as a friend how do you say that? Do you just say it straight or??
For example I've had guys call me a bitch because I've stated I don't find them attractive but I'd like to continue a platonic relationship with them like how very dare I have a sexual preference here!!. "
No I don’t mind women friends on hear got few in non sexual context not hear to shag all the women on fab and to be fair if I did probably be the end of me at my age lol |
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