Not really. I sometimes used to be when I first joined because I didn't think I'd be their type or they wouldn't want to talk to me. Now, if I want to message someone, I will. If they want to reply, they will. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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I wouldn’t say I’m shy.Ive messaged people that I thought I’d never get a response from and was pleasantly surprised. I thoroughly read a profile first before looking a pictures. If I feel there is a compatibility with interests, and I tick boxes for what they are looking for then I will make an approach. If they have no information or very little information I tend to pass them by. I will talk to anyone about anything as long as mutual respect is shown. |
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All the time.
I get good days where I think I’m a catch & send the message.
Ok day. I had one good day. I sent the message.
Sending the first message is so hard. I actually do take my hat off to people who do. |
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Not nervous or shy…but if their profile is way different to ours then I’d just think there’s no compatibility.
If it’s a profile that stands out as fantastic then we’d just message to show our appreciation of a good profile.
K |
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By *itty AmourWoman 37 weeks ago
just around the corner |
"I frequently assume that we wouldn't be what they're looking for based on their profile. "
Yup this.
Often I hot list a profile and fab a few pictures...if they're interested, they'll reciprocate  |
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With my previous profile I never messaged because of shyness etc. There were many reasons, from 'my agenda wasn't to meet, but read the forum and check out events' so what was the point messaging? To, if I messaged some it'd most likely be taken the wrong way and they'd probably only talk to me as I was a potential willing hole (cynical I know, sorry) to finally why would they answer back? I read profiles, so I wouldn't be going in blind but I don't write witty and an interesting intros......and then I'm back to the first two reasons, can I be bothered and I'm a potential willing hole.
I feel more comfortable meeting in person ie a club or something, you can get a good gauge of someone and them you. A person's online presence or popularity doesn't show a true reflection of the entirety of a person. |
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Also if their previous meets have all been very different to what we have to offer I'd assume we wouldn't be what they're looking for.
I think being realistic is a double edged sword though. I've been surprised by (what I assume is) genuine interest from people who I wouldn't have thought would give us a second look |
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"Do you ever look at a profile and are too nervous / shy to contact them ? "
Not nervous, but I sometimes wonder why they message me when, judging by their photos, I don't appear to be their type at all. |
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Us older men simply know that the gorgeous ladies in their 20's and 30's are not going to be interested in someone old enough to be their dad. Not nervous or shy just good old fashioned common sense  |
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All the time Op,
There are actually quite a few ladies on this very thread whom I'd like to start a conversation with, but I'm to bloody chicken to have a go because you only get one go at it and I'm scared of overthinking my first message I guess |
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By *eliWoman 37 weeks ago
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Not shy as such. Sometimes I just think, ah there's no point, they won't be interested. I guess nerves can sometimes come in to it. I can at times get in to my own head and think nope. Zero chance.  |
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But also on occasion the reality hasn’t matched the fantasy and so maybe fantasy is best left as that 
i wonder sometimes why people message me when nothing fits on what they say they want
