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By *adyBugs OP Woman 30 weeks ago
cognito |
…yes of course actually fuck me  but what I’m really looking for this time is your stories!
When was the last time you used the phrase “fuck me” either in your head or out loud.
For me, it was a few hours ago when something happened at work that was a last straw situation…”fuck me, how could you get that so wrong” (facepalm emoji)
Your turn! |
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By *eliWoman 30 weeks ago
. |
I was having a little vent about work last night. Mini. Like thirty seconds in a voicenote. In reply, a friend said 'them's the break, kiddo'
and I said fuck me twice.
Fuck me because it was unexpectedly and inexplicably sexy.
Fuck me because I should probably go back to therapy and find some self respect whilst I'm at it. |
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Both of today at work.
Me - gashed my finger, they always sting!
Him - apparently (to himself after putting the phone down) a customer was being unbelievably thick and asked the same question four times.
C xoxo |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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I’m the same as Ned., can’t remember last time I said those words in that order
Working from home I often swear at the 6 music dj’s … fuck you Lauren , fuck off mary Anne .. for fucks sake Craig |
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"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off 
Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?"
That was the first thing I did, I work for a College so rang the ICT dept who control the CCTV. It was a Student who was being careless, he was traced and literally frog marched by his head of year over to my dept to sort it.
He reckoned he didn't realise he knocked it, I just said that of course he knew, there would have been a bang.
We exchanged details, I'm going to get quotes to repair. The damage isn't that bad, I told him that shit happens and I was more pissed off about trying to conceal it
I don't want to go through insurance really because it will fuck his premiums up. I mean, he's a student, I don't want to rinse him, but he needs to take some responsibility for it...The College have also told him they will be checking in to make sure he sorts it so he can't get out of it either way
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"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off
Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?
That was the first thing I did, I work for a College so rang the ICT dept who control the CCTV. It was a Student who was being careless, he was traced and literally frog marched by his head of year over to my dept to sort it.
He reckoned he didn't realise he knocked it, I just said that of course he knew, there would have been a bang.
We exchanged details, I'm going to get quotes to repair. The damage isn't that bad, I told him that shit happens and I was more pissed off about trying to conceal it
I don't want to go through insurance really because it will fuck his premiums up. I mean, he's a student, I don't want to rinse him, but he needs to take some responsibility for it...The College have also told him they will be checking in to make sure he sorts it so he can't get out of it either way
"
That’s a small positive, but still a lot of hassle for you that you didn’t need! Hopefully the poor lad learned an important life lesson today. Fingers crossed the repair gets sorted quick! |
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"I’m the same as Ned., can’t remember last time I said those words in that order
Working from home I often swear at the 6 music dj’s … fuck you Lauren , fuck off mary Anne .. for fucks sake Craig "
Serves you right for being the only person in the country who listens to 6music! |
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"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off
Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?
That was the first thing I did, I work for a College so rang the ICT dept who control the CCTV. It was a Student who was being careless, he was traced and literally frog marched by his head of year over to my dept to sort it.
He reckoned he didn't realise he knocked it, I just said that of course he knew, there would have been a bang.
We exchanged details, I'm going to get quotes to repair. The damage isn't that bad, I told him that shit happens and I was more pissed off about trying to conceal it
I don't want to go through insurance really because it will fuck his premiums up. I mean, he's a student, I don't want to rinse him, but he needs to take some responsibility for it...The College have also told him they will be checking in to make sure he sorts it so he can't get out of it either way
That’s a small positive, but still a lot of hassle for you that you didn’t need! Hopefully the poor lad learned an important life lesson today. Fingers crossed the repair gets sorted quick!"
No, I really didn't need it and hope to god he does before he does real damage to something or someone.
On his way back to College I noticed a group of his mates all stood around my car taking pictures and laughing at him, so I guess he'll be shamed over social media and chat groups 
The College told me they also suggested refresher lessons and a brush up on the law and his role and responsibilities as a driver. Luckily they were supportive, many places wouldn't give a shit
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"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation."
Years ago I was driving to Eureka with a female colleague after work.I took a wrong turning down the M20 instead of the A20 and said "Fuck!". She said "
SaY that again, I like the way you said that, maybe we can stop somewhere and you can fuck me". Afterwards we carried on to Eureka for some more.
I should clarify that we took the first exit possible from the motorway before consumating the oath!
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"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation.
Years ago I was driving to Eureka with a female colleague after work.I took a wrong turning down the M20 instead of the A20 and said "Fuck!". She said "
SaY that again, I like the way you said that, maybe we can stop somewhere and you can fuck me". Afterwards we carried on to Eureka for some more.
I should clarify that we took the first exit possible from the motorway before consumating the oath!
"
Only in Asda at the prices  |
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I can't remember saying fuck me recently, but a few days ago I was driving a female friend to her Zumba class. I took a wrong turn down a one way system on the wrong side of the park and let out the F word. She turned to me surprised and said in the 3 years we've known each other she'd never heard me use the F word. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 30 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
Not sure about fuck me, but definitely FFS today, when it was incredibly noisy in the office.
And again (at least once) when trying to make a mug of coffee and the bastarding hot water machine was flashing red as it wasn't hot enough. (It keeps doing it recently and takes a few minutes to decide its not hot enough, then to boil itself agai , then to turn green so you can use it - grrrrr) |
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Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened "
So true ! |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true ! "
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen  |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen "
Fuck knows |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen
Fuck knows "
Brilliant … great add to the list  |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen
Fuck knows
Brilliant … great add to the list "
Looks like you have started something
Could keep it going but fuck that ! |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen
Fuck knows
Brilliant … great add to the list
Looks like you have started something
Could keep it going but fuck that !"
Hahaha I’ve posted similar in the Scottish forum, hope you don’t mind _adybugs - great post |
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"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen
Fuck knows
Brilliant … great add to the list
Looks like you have started something
Could keep it going but fuck that !
Hahaha I’ve posted similar in the Scottish forum, hope you don’t mind _adybugs - great post "
Ahh I will go and check it |
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By *aizyWoman 30 weeks ago
west midlands |
"When I got told I chipped my bone in me foot and done bad ligament damage two weeks ago just said fuck me only my luck to the nurse she laughed "
I said for fuck's sake when I did this to my foot! |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"When I got told I chipped my bone in me foot and done bad ligament damage two weeks ago just said fuck me only my luck to the nurse she laughed
I said for fuck's sake when I did this to my foot! "
It was a killer when it happened |
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I don't think I use it out of anger/frustration. I say it when something is insanely hot. Maybe when something is a bit too much and I'm not coping.
In the bedroom I use "I need you to fuck me, NOW!" |
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By *adyBugs OP Woman 30 weeks ago
cognito |
"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen
Fuck knows
Brilliant … great add to the list
Looks like you have started something
Could keep it going but fuck that !
Hahaha I’ve posted similar in the Scottish forum, hope you don’t mind _adybugs - great post "
Haha! I don’t mind in the slightest. This is brilliant |
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"I don't think I use it out of anger/frustration. I say it when something is insanely hot. Maybe when something is a bit too much and I'm not coping.
In the bedroom I use "I need you to fuck me, NOW!" "
Hmm my go to command for sexual activity seems to be "suck my dick".
Not to be confused with a absurd request "suck my dick". It's a confusing world out there |
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By *eliWoman 30 weeks ago
. |
About twenty minutes ago when I realised what being kissed thoroughly does to my hair and general appearance. I did wonder why people were looking at me at Picadilly station. Guess I know why now. |
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By *nnCeeWoman 30 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…
Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)
Fuck you (I’m angry with you)
Fuck sake (surprise)
Fuck off (leave me alone)
And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened
So true !
I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen
Fuck knows
Brilliant … great add to the list
Looks like you have started something
Could keep it going but fuck that !"
Fuck my life! |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant  "
Hope you're ok. It is rare that they get dislodged but it does happen. My first Mirena coil 10 years ago had to be retrieved by the gynae team at my local hospital. Very quick procedure. All fine. And haven't had any issues since. Thankfully I'm having my current one removed soon now that I'm post menopause |
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"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation."
A good driver sometimes misses their turn off whereas a bad driver never does! |
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"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant
Missing, how can it be missing?! "
She couldn't find it
Went to hospital for an Ultrasound and thankfully it was in place but the strings had just gone up instead of I down. |
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"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant
Hope you're ok. It is rare that they get dislodged but it does happen. My first Mirena coil 10 years ago had to be retrieved by the gynae team at my local hospital. Very quick procedure. All fine. And haven't had any issues since. Thankfully I'm having my current one removed soon now that I'm post menopause"
I'm ok just a mild panic. It was thankfully still in place. |
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"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant
Missing, how can it be missing?!
She couldn't find it
Went to hospital for an Ultrasound and thankfully it was in place but the strings had just gone up instead of I down."
That's reassuring! Hopefully all is okay with it/you for now  |
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"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant
Missing, how can it be missing?!
She couldn't find it
Went to hospital for an Ultrasound and thankfully it was in place but the strings had just gone up instead of I down.
That's reassuring! Hopefully all is okay with it/you for now "
Ya I'm good,thank you |
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