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A 'meet' free thread.
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur? |
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Sex is far more than just penetration. I’m just as into the rest of it.
So yes, OP Meli. I’ve had plenty of wonderful times with wonderful partners where there was lots of kissing, plenty of fondling, and maybe oral, without any penis-in-vagina action.
Fucking doesn’t have to always be the end goal. It’s good to just enjoy the journey sometimes. |
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"No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?"
Personally, I’d love it! There’s so many ways this could be satisfying- perhaps you both just didn’t feel it needed to progress that way? Maybe you just met a best friend not a fuck buddy, or you both felt that what was supposed to be a quick fuck has turned out to be something more meaningful and worth taking slow? It could be part of a tease and denial kink dynamic…Or you had an ill-advised first date at Taco Bell and have made a mutual decision that the impeding volcanic GI difficulties might cut short sexy-times, and therefore decide to reconvene at a later date?! |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"Unless it was someone I was seeing regularly and doing social things with too, I'd wonder why the sex didn't happen "
With someone I'm with or seeing regularly, & if we talked about it, I'd understand / have no issues.
If it was after a social & discussed as a meet with play.. no sex to me would seem like something was off. Really depends what was discussed/ agreed.. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 30 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Sex is far more than just penetration. I’m just as into the rest of it.
So yes, OP Meli. I’ve had plenty of wonderful times with wonderful partners where there was lots of kissing, plenty of fondling, and maybe oral, without any penis-in-vagina action.
Fucking doesn’t have to always be the end goal. It’s good to just enjoy the journey sometimes."
100% this.  |
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I'm like the Paladin with my sword † extended, riding like a vanguard into battle with uncompromising intent and thrust. It would be a disappointment and a shame for me to reach my target and then simply shake hands with the Bishop!
I'm here for the unbridled sex. |
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"No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?"
Yes, a couple of times, sometimes that’s fine and everyone is happy. But what were the expectations of both parties, did one EXPECT it and the other not??? |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Had this with a lady 8 was seeing for a while....met a few times and just great play but no penetration....not an issue especially if you both use your imagination..?? |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"Unless it was someone I was seeing regularly and doing social things with too, I'd wonder why the sex didn't happen "
Yeah, that's understandable. I was hoping for a varied response.
I think sex is pretty much assumed to happen (unless otherwise discussed) in the majority of encounters. |
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"This would be very hot, adding to the intensity of that next meet  "
That is what I was about to say.
From personal experience the next time me and this women met made the sex far more intense and less awkward.
If I could do it that way every time I met a new partner (which isn't often) I'd be a happy man. |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 30 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
If I’m meeting them more than once, it’s because I fancy them & don’t mind if they want to take it slowly, I find it hard to read people if they’re interested, so usually wait for them to make the move, but more than 5 dates without anymore happening might cause me a rethink |
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By *WB85Man 30 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
My first ever swap was just like that OP.
It's the first time I'd been intimate with another woman for 12 years and it felt enough. We both had a good time.
I made that silly mistake of talking about scenarios and saying what would happen etc etc....then anxiety got the better of me and I couldn't perform lol.
Many lessons have been learned. |
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Yes and because it wasn't discussed beforehand it didn't make me feel great as he didn't get hard. If I'm warned beforehand then i have no issue. I get that its a side effect of many medications/conditions so its very common. Just communicate! |
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"I once had a meet where the guy got so excited he came in his pants, then fell asleep. Wasn’t overly amused to be honest."
I can guarantee that wouldn’t happen with me.
I’d cum in my pants ages before I saw you |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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I like meets where you just enjoy each others company with no expectation of penetration. There are times when I have my period but I’m horny- not everyone is comfortable having sex at that time but all the other things can be lots of fun too  |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"As long as they were OK with me discreetly nipping the loo for a tug, blue balls is agony!"
Is it really? I always thought it an urban myth shared by men who want to stick it in something. |
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By *batMan 30 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"As long as they were OK with me discreetly nipping the loo for a tug, blue balls is agony!
Is it really? I always thought it an urban myth shared by men who want to stick it in something."
Blue balls can range from mildly unpleasant to downright painful!
Gbat |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"I like meets where you just enjoy each others company with no expectation of penetration. There are times when I have my period but I’m horny- not everyone is comfortable having sex at that time but all the other things can be lots of fun too "
It was meet free.  Oh well. 
Yes, they really can be can't they? I guess it depends on how you view sex and what it is you're looking for from a dalliance (I can't use the m word). Some of my friends wouldn't feel 'satisfied' without a cocking. |
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Kissing, fondling and oral could be defined as sex, if it’s just about penetration then lesbians would still be virgins.
Perhaps the definition should include whether there could be an orgasm?
I agree it shouldn’t just be about penetration, there are lots of other ways for things to get pleasurable from each other. |
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By *ewcatWoman 30 weeks ago
Berkshire |
"I once had a meet where the guy got so excited he came in his pants, then fell asleep. Wasn’t overly amused to be honest.
I can guarantee that wouldn’t happen with me.
I’d cum in my pants ages before I saw you"
howling with laughter |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"Kissing, fondling and oral could be defined as sex, if it’s just about penetration then lesbians would still be virgins.
Perhaps the definition should include whether there could be an orgasm?
I agree it shouldn’t just be about penetration, there are lots of other ways for things to get pleasurable from each other."
Yep, I guess that's why I said penetrative sex rather than just sex. I really dislike the heteronormative, phallic central take on sex.
I was going to say without orgasm but then it felt similar to the "is an orgasm essential?" thread that was running recently. |
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"I really dislike the heteronormative, phallic central take on sex.
"
I agree, but I suppose it depends on what the person wants from the experience. It wasn’t too long ago when “who cares what she wants out of it” was common, it’s probably still quite common and used as controlling too.
If you want sex to be a way of sharing time, opening up, being vulnerable and learning about each other, p-i-v is very optional.
If it’s about getting your dick wet, then it’s pretty essential. |
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"No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?"
I have. Kissing, caressing, oral. It was great.
Penetration's nice but it's not the part of sex I most enjoy and I can be quite satisfied without it. |
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"No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?"
We’ve had meets like this and all totally enjoyed it.
I much prefer to use my deft touch and sensual tongue instead of my 10lb lump hammer.
Plus H is very skilled in the art of woman to woman.
They usually send me for more drinks… with my deft pouring action and sensual three glass carrying technique. |
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By *sWyldWoman 30 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Yes and no.
Pleasure comes in many forms, deep conversations, playful flirtation, kissing, touching, laughter etc all lovely and I can have a great time without any of the sex stuff.
However, there are other times when actually I really want more than that. I want to feel them hard and twitching in my mouth. Times when I actually need to slide down their cock until I cum and times when I really crave that intimacy of slow and sensual, bodies entwined fucking. Those times I'd be pretty disappointed if it didn't happen.
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"I really dislike the heteronormative, phallic central take on sex.
I agree, but I suppose it depends on what the person wants from the experience. It wasn’t too long ago when “who cares what she wants out of it” was common, it’s probably still quite common and used as controlling too.
If you want sex to be a way of sharing time, opening up, being vulnerable and learning about each other, p-i-v is very optional.
If it’s about getting your dick wet, then it’s pretty essential."
Feeling someone getting their dick wet inside you can be a way of sharing, opening up, being vulnerable and learning about each other too.
Let's not somehow make out that penetrative sex is something 'less than' |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?"
Many times..with same person
Kissing can be very erogenous on its own op.
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We've done it a few times with our friends we've known awhile and we still have just as good of a night..
We've done soft swap before with people we've met from here but it's not something we would do again.. |
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"I really dislike the heteronormative, phallic central take on sex.
I agree, but I suppose it depends on what the person wants from the experience. It wasn’t too long ago when “who cares what she wants out of it” was common, it’s probably still quite common and used as controlling too.
If you want sex to be a way of sharing time, opening up, being vulnerable and learning about each other, p-i-v is very optional.
If it’s about getting your dick wet, then it’s pretty essential.
Feeling someone getting their dick wet inside you can be a way of sharing, opening up, being vulnerable and learning about each other too.
Let's not somehow make out that penetrative sex is something 'less than'"
That sharing and vulnerability is part of it all. A mix of desire and fear of rejection at same time and the feel of the moment together.
I’d rather be there than a sort of extended tease and leave wondering I guess.
It’s the person, how right it feels, the time and place and I just don’t know, maybe I’m too giving to see the sport in it in terms of the tease and the chase. |
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"
Feeling someone getting their dick wet inside you can be a way of sharing, opening up, being vulnerable and learning about each other too.
Let's not somehow make out that penetrative sex is something 'less than'"
I agree completely, same as any other part of sex can be. But if any of it doesn’t happen, it can still be a fantastic sexual experience. |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"It’s something I’m looking for but I found impossible to find.
Thank you Meli for posting, I will be following this thread with interest to see what people think. "
Ah it's not easy to find. It can happen though. I was kind of musing out loud, I can see why some love it and others dislike it. |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?
We’ve had meets like this and all totally enjoyed it.
I much prefer to use my deft touch and sensual tongue instead of my 10lb lump hammer.
Plus H is very skilled in the art of woman to woman.
They usually send me for more drinks… with my deft pouring action and sensual three glass carrying technique."
10lb lump hammer.
Please write some smut one day soon, your unique way with words really brings a smile to my face. |
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"No 'meets' here please and thank you.
So let's say you're spending time with someone from Fab. More... intimate time.
How would you feel if penetration didn't happen? Just kissing. Maybe some fondling. Maybe oral. I don't know, you get the idea.
Have you had an encounter where penetrative sex didn't occur?"
We have had such an encounter because we didn't realise how close BGHS was to closing and we were asked to leave mid-way! 
We've had socials which led to snogging. It's rather nice. If it was planned to be that way I can imagine us going for it. |
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If I’ve learned anything from my time here is that what makes sex and/or intimacy is incredibly personal and unique..
Kissing
Penetration
Full swap/soft swap
Solo/couple
Meets or dates
Friends or not friends
It all boils down to communication. One person doesn’t make a sexual encounter brilliant - it’s down to everybody involved. I’m very big on chemistry & connection. But even they won’t save a lack of communication.
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I had a meet on my birthday a few years ago. Myself, a lady I'd played with before, and a guy I was very chatty with had a club meet. We had SO much fun! But he didn't penetrate either of us? Which we both stated was odd afterwards. I asked him why? He said he was waiting to be invited?... Totally get that. But I suspect he'd massively missed every cue going  |
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By *eli OP Woman 30 weeks ago
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"Yes and because it wasn't discussed beforehand it didn't make me feel great as he didn't get hard. If I'm warned beforehand then i have no issue. I get that its a side effect of many medications/conditions so its very common. Just communicate!"
Oh I didn't think about it in terms of that. That's a good point - you'd hope people would feel comfortable enough to discuss what it is they actually want from time spent together, for whatever reason that is. |
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It'd be q bit like a meat free kebab, unless the oral was amazing then it would be like a hot chocolate. You know the ones you get with the dark chocolate lollipop you are supposed to wait to melt, but then it just looks so appetising you have to suck the last bit off. |
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Yeah, I would if it was the right person. If we like each other as people then while sex would be amazing, if that couldn't happen then I would be more than happy just spending time in their company  |
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"Yeah, I would if it was the right person. If we like each other as people then while sex would be amazing, if that couldn't happen then I would be more than happy just spending time in their company "
N'awwww how sweet  |
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