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The house that Fab built
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Alright tradies, we've been commissioned for the construction of a Fab mansion so we all need to chip in.
I will appoint myself as project manager and if needed back on tools will sort the doors out but don't trust myself to do any joist or frame work unsupervised as been too bloody long.
Who's volunteer to do what jobs? |
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Brilliant so far.
Please don't forget this is a shag-tastic swinger pad, we need people on saunas, pools and gardens.
Also keys not forget at least a 4 strong team on the kettles keeping the brews coming. |
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By *aizyWoman 25 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I'll sit on the sidelines and shout, you sure that goes there? And other useful words of encouragement.
Ooh, I can do this! I can also do that suck breath through your teeth thing.
J"
Oh can you? I've never been able to master that, you'll be a useful on the sidelines! |
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"
Crispy and sauce..?
Yes please, tomato sauce would be fine  "
Sorry, first executive veto by your PM.
All Bacon Butties shall be crispy streaky bacon and brown sauce only... Reggae Reggae sauce permits may be collected between 0730 and 0735 for 24hrs in advance. |
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"Happy to be project manager
I'm good at tell people what to do
And things been done on time .
Also quite good with interior design ."
Right, don't shoot for the King unless you are going to kill him.
Clearly you have no idea about project management as we have no desire to do this in time or under budget.
Please liase with the other interior designer and remember to keep all the facilities on line the democratically chosen theme "the original 150 Pokemon" |
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"I'll be in my trailer as a comfort gurl  "
Excellent thinking.
Change of plans, the job description for Marco Pierre White to run the staff canteen had been changed to Al Swearengen-esque Saloon Keep |
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I done some plumbing yesterday - took 2 hours to do something that should have took 30 mins, so I’m good for that
I’ll also help plan the house warming party…
C can walk around in her dress and have her nipples poking through for team morale
K |
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"I done some plumbing yesterday - took 2 hours to do something that should have took 30 mins, so I’m good for that
I’ll also help plan the house warming party…
C can walk around in her dress and have her nipples poking through for team morale
K"
Excellent, everyone is on day rate of one wink per day so take as long as you like with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"
Crispy and sauce..?
Yes please, tomato sauce would be fine
Sorry, first executive veto by your PM.
All Bacon Butties shall be crispy streaky bacon and brown sauce only... Reggae Reggae sauce permits may be collected between 0730 and 0735 for 24hrs in advance. "
 |
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"Woody by name, woody by nature.
So if you need me to erecting anything of fill in some holes…. I can give you an hour or so "
Your job allocation is Roger The Cabin Boy, please collect your job assignments from Lead Pool Developer Naval Engineer Seaman Staines |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"
Crispy and sauce..?
Yes please, tomato sauce would be fine
Sorry, first executive veto by your PM.
All Bacon Butties shall be crispy streaky bacon and brown sauce only... Reggae Reggae sauce permits may be collected between 0730 and 0735 for 24hrs in advance. "
In that case, here's my 24 hours notice  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Woody by name, woody by nature.
So if you need me to erecting anything of fill in some holes…. I can give you an hour or so
Your job allocation is Roger The Cabin Boy, please collect your job assignments from Lead Pool Developer Naval Engineer Seaman Staines "
Roger the cabin boy? … is that an apprentice initiation? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I'll be in my trailer as a comfort gurl
Excellent thinking.
Change of plans, the job description for Marco Pierre White to run the staff canteen had been changed to Al Swearengen-esque Saloon Keep"
FUCKING WOOO! |
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"I'll be in my trailer as a comfort gurl
Excellent thinking.
Change of plans, the job description for Marco Pierre White to run the staff canteen had been changed to Al Swearengen-esque Saloon Keep
FUCKING WOOO!"
Qw love your enthusiasm and you were a great candidate but your failure to call everyone on the board a fucking heathen cocksucker means we are going to pass on your application at this time.
However we would love to offer you to be the chief barman/ security lead Mr Dority |
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"I’ll stand there on my phone, until you walk passed then I’ll pick up a brush to look busy.
The mr
Like a typical road maintenance worker "
No them boys don’t give a fuck, they’ll be sunbathing on the top of the van, waving at you while you’re stuck in traffic.
The mr |
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"I’ll stand there on my phone, until you walk passed then I’ll pick up a brush to look busy.
The mr
Like a typical road maintenance worker
No them boys don’t give a fuck, they’ll be sunbathing on the top of the van, waving at you while you’re stuck in traffic.
The mr "
Tbf that is a more accurate description  |
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"I’ll stand there on my phone, until you walk passed then I’ll pick up a brush to look busy.
The mr
Like a typical road maintenance worker
No them boys don’t give a fuck, they’ll be sunbathing on the top of the van, waving at you while you’re stuck in traffic.
The mr "
Sorry, The Mr sounds far too qualified for menial work, please report to the executive canteen (is the table in the portacabin with a actual tablecloth on it) and commence some Blue Sky Thinking, deadline is Flebuary 31st. |
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I asked two of the ground crew why they were jumping from one sofa to the other.
They replied "The floor is made of lava".
That's a serious H&S issue right there and HSE need to shut this site down right away before anyone gets hurt. |
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"I’ll test the baths out and make sure they’re safe to use. Really don’t mind getting my hands dirty. I’ll only need an hour or so on each.. and some radox.. and a bottle of red. "
I suppose you need someone to.was your back too  |
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"Happy to be project manager
I'm good at tell people what to do
And things been done on time .
Also quite good with interior design .
Right, don't shoot for the King unless you are going to kill him.
Clearly you have no idea about project management as we have no desire to do this in time or under budget.
Please liase with the other interior designer and remember to keep all the facilities on line the democratically chosen theme "the original 150 Pokemon""
I am most definitely NOT an assassin. But if the others who've provided their skills and labour to bring this very wonderful idea from "The King" to fruition find that "The King" then goes down a little bit too much of a Trump/Johnson/Gaddafi road more than a Robin Hood road...you know where to find me and employ the skills I most definitely DO NOT have in the career of assassin which I equally definitely DO NOT partake in . |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.  "
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit. |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit."
Should have gone for a brown one instead |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit.
Should have gone for a brown one instead "
Does it taste like chocolate?  |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit.
Should have gone for a brown one instead "
Or just not licked a used toilet plunger |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit.
Should have gone for a brown one instead
Or just not licked a used toilet plunger "
You make an excellent point.
But...temptation.... . |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit.
Should have gone for a brown one instead
Or just not licked a used toilet plunger "
Spoilsport  |
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"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation  "
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you? |
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"I bought a mint plunger the other week. I'm in the case if anyone needs their toilet unblocked
Do plungers come in different flavours ?
It's mint green
Aaahhhh, I misunderstood, apologies.
I made a similar mistake. Bought a lime one (I love limes), plunged the loo - thinking that would activate the lime flavour - then licked it.
Tasted like shit.
Should have gone for a brown one instead
Or just not licked a used toilet plunger
Spoilsport "
I'm just trying to make sure everyone is safe and alive |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?"
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal |
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"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal "
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it . |
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By *red333Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it ."
hope you used galvanised nails |
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"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it .hope you used galvanised nails "
You killed it Fred.
You killed it . |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it .hope you used galvanised nails "
Only the best, grade 316 which is vastly superior corrosion resistance to chlorides and acids. |
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"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it .hope you used galvanised nails
Only the best, grade 316 which is vastly superior corrosion resistance to chlorides and acids. "
I think Sissy just scored a hat-trick Fred.
Over to you..... |
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By *red333Man 25 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it .hope you used galvanised nails
Only the best, grade 316 which is vastly superior corrosion resistance to chlorides and acids. "
lol so no runny rust lines down the paint |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
|
"Sexretary taking plenty dicktation
I do see you fitting in a late 70s TV series with the strong but rather stupid, mildly heroic male lead who functions best with his very femme but switched on PA gently guiding his best moments.
Saving him from too much "heroic" testosterone led over-reach too.
Is that my imagination, or am I reading you?
CEO adding me as a sweetener to secure preferential contractual deal
Nothing could be more late 1970s.
Nailed it .hope you used galvanised nails
Only the best, grade 316 which is vastly superior corrosion resistance to chlorides and acids. lol so no runny rust lines down the paint "
they can become a problem if allowed to dry or set |
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