FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If you can’t accommodate......
If you can’t accommodate......
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Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married" |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Don’t assume. Top tip. |
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Assumptions make an ass out of u and me!!  |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 25 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
as that’s my profile you’ve quoted from, I’ll reply, my house is open when the trust is there, as it’s my family home, and every guy I’ve spoken to who has this on their profile has turned out to be married |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
Because it’s true?
You do see a lot of profiles with “can’t accom due to living in a house share” or “living with parents” that type of thing but mostly it’s married men |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"as that’s my profile you’ve quoted from, I’ll reply, my house is open when the trust is there, as it’s my family home, and every guy I’ve spoken to who has this on their profile has turned out to be married"
Is the man’s home not his family home? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Can't accommodate - ooh will meet in a nice hotel
Can accommodate - has cameras set up in every room and will have dodgy bedding. Avoid.
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So many reasons why someone doesn’t accommodate, from having family with them to just rather not, but unfortunately it’s because so many Guys who can’t accommodate are! Doesn’t help the rest of us who aren’t married but that’s the way it is. |
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I’m able to accommodate, but only when I don’t have the kids because there’s absolutely zero chance I’m having someone round while my kids are upstairs.
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By *mmaleiaWoman 25 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
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Is the man’s home not his family home? "
none of them had custody of the kids, or most had no kids, so unless they lived with their parents, no |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Op. Try talking to people because sometimes somebody’s profile text doesn’t tell the whole story.
Because a lot of the times somebody’s text doesn’t exactly spell out perfectly some of the things they rather not shout out to the world on a public forum.
I say I do accommodate. But I’ve never extended the invitation to a complete and utter stranger, although some might assume that I’m a complete and not a slut that has anybody walking through my door, or somebody with nefarious intentions if you’re so inclined to have those paranoid views of me.
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By *eah BabyCouple 25 weeks ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We are a couple and your correct in your assumption, we are married  although our profile says will accommodate occasionally (or something like that) |
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Thanks for the answers so far.
I was chatting a lovely couple on Friday at a club who said they would never go to a single guys house as they're might be hidden cameras there.
Seems more and more people are going for the club or hotel option and one of the reasons is hidden cameras. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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[Removed by poster at 07/04/24 08:53:03] |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Or they don't want a stranger in their home. |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 25 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
"Or they don't want a stranger in their home."
I’m not looking for 1 offs though, I can totally understand that if it’s just hook ups, I wouldn’t have hook ups in my house, that’s what clubs are for
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It’s because we don’t want a stranger in our home. |
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By *dc1Man 25 weeks ago
essex and all over the south |
Its also that there are so many external cameras these days. Even the neighbours ring door bell can pick people coming and going. I never look if they can or cant as i look at clubs. Who is going and normally use fab as a way of making convo and meet them there. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"It’s because we don’t want a stranger in our home."
This is normal. People that willingly let strangers in their home is the weird part.
Nice decor by the way.
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
They don't want to fuck randoms in their own home but get pissy when guys have the same boundary  
Evie |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Its also that there are so many external cameras these days. Even the neighbours ring door bell can pick people coming and going. I never look if they can or cant as i look at clubs. Who is going and normally use fab as a way of making convo and meet them there. "
You consider a ring doorbell before you go to someone’s house??. What?
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"It’s because we don’t want a stranger in our home.
This is normal. People that willingly let strangers in their home is the weird part.
Nice penis by the way.
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You mean we’re normal!
Thanks, it’s beautiful.
Truly beautiful. |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"as that’s my profile you’ve quoted from, I’ll reply, my house is open when the trust is there, as it’s my family home, and every guy I’ve spoken to who has this on their profile has turned out to be married"
Don't assume! My son lives with me so that's why I don't! |
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I’m not married and don’t have any skeletons in my closet but I will never have anyone in my house, simply because I don’t want to. I’m not going to someone’s house either, that’s what hotels are for.
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"Or they don't want a stranger in their home."
This - I changed mine because I was gobsmacked the amount of strangers that thought it meant instant meets straight at my house. Was an eye opener for me.
I wouldn't automatically assume someone was married and not disclosing that information. I think it's normal not to want a complete stranger in your personal space. |
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My first assumption would be they live with others, whether that be kids, parents or house share.
Married wouldn't be the first to come to mind.
Some might be yes but the same assumption could be made about a single woman profile.
We don't because our kids live here and if someone turned out to be a weirdo I won't have them put in danger. |
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I can accommodate, but I probably won’t unless we’re both comfortable with it. |
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Each to their own. Also hotels mean I don't have to tidy up for someone coming round |
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Because gals rule and lads drool *
* offhand comment alert |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
I suppose it takes ALOT more trust to allow someone to know where you live. There's alot of unscrupulous people in here and we've all heard the horror stories. Imagine some of those knowing where you reside... |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
So op you think assumptions based on what theory.
Reasons..could be staying with friends
Could still live at home
Couples cannot because of kids
Accommodate does not mean at home either could be hotel.
In fact hotels are a lot safer than a home op
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Each to their own. Also hotels mean I don't have to tidy up for someone coming round "
Now that I agree with and true |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
So op you think assumptions based on what theory.
Reasons..could be staying with friends
Could still live at home
Couples cannot because of kids
Accommodate does not mean at home either could be hotel.
In fact hotels are a lot safer than a home op
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Not my assumption at all. I am just intrigued as to why a profile contains such a narrative when they themselves cannot accommodate.
A few have explained on here and I'm glad they have for my understanding. |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
They might have young children.. not rocket science |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
Wow, what an assumption! Generalise everyone or what!
Not that we need to explain ourselves, but we live in a small flat where there's not much room to swing a cat, coupled with extremely nosy neighbours and landlord. Hence, we'd prefer to come to you. |
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By *WB85Man 25 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
Me and my partner don't accommodate as we have children and we don't invite the swinging community into our home.
We are more than welcome to pay for hotels though. |
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The reality is though that most 'single men', who can't accomodate are married though. We all know that's the case. If it's because they're unattached but due to kids at home, they'll generally state that.
I don't think it's double standards if that's what you're hinting at OP? As well most couples aren't hiding the fact they're married - they just don't want to accommodate. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
They don't want to fuck randoms in their own home but get pissy when guys have the same boundary
Evie"
This was going to be my answer too but I wouldn't have put it as well as this |
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I used to accommodate all the time but sadly, I had a couple over for a play and whilst I was playing with the lady, the male took it upon himself to steal things from me, yes I know, what the actual fuck!. The police did get involved bit we're unable to proceed further. Be aware people, it does happen.
Peace and love to all. |
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I put I can’t accommodate as I don’t want just anyone rocking up to my house like some think they can after 1 messages  |
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"Its also that there are so many external cameras these days. Even the neighbours ring door bell can pick people coming and going. I never look if they can or cant as i look at clubs. Who is going and normally use fab as a way of making convo and meet them there.
You consider a ring doorbell before you go to someone’s house??. What?
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I think he means consider a ring doorbell before inviting people into their house. If you want to jeep this life private but have someone thats not your partner turn up every other week, the neighbours dont need to curtain twitch to gossip anymore they will catch it on canera and be notified on their phone |
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I couldn't accommodate for years due to the fact I lived in a block of flats that my mother and sister lived in aswell and wouldn't want them to know about my private life . |
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By *ugby 123Couple 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"The reality is though that most 'single men', who can't accomodate are married though. We all know that's the case. If it's because they're unattached but due to kids at home, they'll generally state that.
I don't think it's double standards if that's what you're hinting at OP? As well most couples aren't hiding the fact they're married - they just don't want to accommodate. "
The men may not want to accommodate either and have valid reasons.
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By *eliWoman 25 weeks ago
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I don't assume anyone is married. It's normally pretty clear when they are.
I don't want to. In my many years on here only three people have/had my address. Even those I've dated haven't had it because trust is a very big thing for me and it takes some time for me to fully trust another.
No one should feel obligated to explain why they don't. If they're playing away, I'd like to think most will be honest about that. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
Never assume anything. Ask for clarity.
I have explained my reasons clearly in my blurb. If I lived alone, I still wouldn't accommodate as that's my safe haven. Too many guys assume I will accommodate because I am single and in my experience, most of those guys tend to be partnered up.
Hotel rooms are my go to if I were meeting someone for more a non-social once communications and socials have been established. |
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By *itenDaysCouple 25 weeks ago
Vale of Glamorgan |
We are married and we can’t accommodate due to family members still being at home, also we have dogs and we know for some that puts people off, we find it naughtier to arrange a play meet at either a club or a hotel xx |
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"The reality is though that most 'single men', who can't accomodate are married though. We all know that's the case. If it's because they're unattached but due to kids at home, they'll generally state that.
I don't think it's double standards if that's what you're hinting at OP? As well most couples aren't hiding the fact they're married - they just don't want to accommodate.
The men may not want to accommodate either and have valid reasons.
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Absolutely! The most common reason I've found aside from children living at home. Is generally because they are married though. I don't expect anyone to accomodate in their home, I don't do it myself. That's why I state on my profile I'm happy to split hotel costs. What I've had from several men in response to that is that they're offering outside meets, or in their car/van as an alternative. Or asking if I can put the hotel on my card due to not wanting it to show on their bank statement. Now call me cynical but I can only think of one reason did that |
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By *bi HaiveMan 25 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I put I can’t accommodate as I don’t want just anyone rocking up to my house like some think they can after 1 messages "
This can be true.
One thing that I noticed as soon as I moved into my own place was a tendency for some to assume I'd say yes to them coming over just because the 'can accomodate' box is ticked.
The slightest mention of meeting somewhere neutral first for a coffee/drink social, even if the plan was to head back to mine and they'd run for the hills.
I have no issue accommodating. I do have an issue with giving my address out to a total stranger after a couple of online messages.
It's completely understandable that people (women, couples and yes - men too) will put 'Can't accomodate' when they may in fact be willing to once they know someone better.
And if you really want to know why someone can't if it's not on their profile, then ask. And if you're not convinced by the response then that's your decision entirely. It's not on them. |
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Oh & I’m 100% single my safety comes first |
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Is the answer try,try,try again? |
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My house is mine and my Dog's home, our safe space and I don't want to share |
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"I put I can’t accommodate as I don’t want just anyone rocking up to my house like some think they can after 1 messages
This can be true.
One thing that I noticed as soon as I moved into my own place was a tendency for some to assume I'd say yes to them coming over just because the 'can accomodate' box is ticked.
The slightest mention of meeting somewhere neutral first for a coffee/drink social, even if the plan was to head back to mine and they'd run for the hills.
I have no issue accommodating. I do have an issue with giving my address out to a total stranger after a couple of online messages.
It's completely understandable that people (women, couples and yes - men too) will put 'Can't accomodate' when they may in fact be willing to once they know someone better.
And if you really want to know why someone can't if it's not on their profile, then ask. And if you're not convinced by the response then that's your decision entirely. It's not on them. "
100% this. Safety first for everyone. |
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"I put I can’t accommodate as I don’t want just anyone rocking up to my house like some think they can after 1 messages
This can be true.
One thing that I noticed as soon as I moved into my own place was a tendency for some to assume I'd say yes to them coming over just because the 'can accomodate' box is ticked.
The slightest mention of meeting somewhere neutral first for a coffee/drink social, even if the plan was to head back to mine and they'd run for the hills.
I have no issue accommodating. I do have an issue with giving my address out to a total stranger after a couple of online messages.
It's completely understandable that people (women, couples and yes - men too) will put 'Can't accomodate' when they may in fact be willing to once they know someone better.
And if you really want to know why someone can't if it's not on their profile, then ask. And if you're not convinced by the response then that's your decision entirely. It's not on them. "
well said |
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We don't accommodate due to safety and the fact we have our adult son and a younger child at home. We don't want people knowing our address and randomly turning up. We had a random turner-upper at our old house and we hadn't even told anyone on Fab our address (we have no idea how the person located us).
One Fabber had/has our new address and that took a lot of trust. A lot. And it wasn't even for sex  |
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"I put I can’t accommodate as I don’t want just anyone rocking up to my house like some think they can after 1 messages
This can be true.
One thing that I noticed as soon as I moved into my own place was a tendency for some to assume I'd say yes to them coming over just because the 'can accomodate' box is ticked.
The slightest mention of meeting somewhere neutral first for a coffee/drink social, even if the plan was to head back to mine and they'd run for the hills.
I have no issue accommodating. I do have an issue with giving my address out to a total stranger after a couple of online messages.
It's completely understandable that people (women, couples and yes - men too) will put 'Can't accomodate' when they may in fact be willing to once they know someone better.
And if you really want to know why someone can't if it's not on their profile, then ask. And if you're not convinced by the response then that's your decision entirely. It's not on them. "
Best answer yet.
A lot of people feeling the need to justify why they can't accomm. This is not my intention in writing the post.
It was the assumption that if a guy can't accomm, he is married. It's been a very interesting thread and thanks to everyone who has contributed.
Everyone has their own reasons I guess but equally we should not always jump to conclusions. |
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Is the man’s home not his family home? none of them had custody of the kids, or most had no kids, so unless they lived with their parents, no"
I was a single parent for years (I still am but they're pretty much grown up now)
I can't accommodate as my youngest hasn't yet left the nest and works from home too. I'm sure I'm not the only one |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I think it's only one of the many double standards on the site , a can't accommodate is just that regardless of the sex , why is a man expected to open their home up to a stranger when a woman isn't, I've know a few guys who have can't accom as they have children whether they live full time with them or not , most have their children pop in without any warning as it should be ... some may just not want strangers in their home and want to keep fab life separate from their every day life ...
Surely guys should be afforded that right the same as a woman .. not everything is as black and white as it seems x |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I state can't accommodate because there's not an option of 'don't want to accommodate'
Club is safer for a single woman until you feel you trust someone |
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"I think it's only one of the many double standards on the site , a can't accommodate is just that regardless of the sex , why is a man expected to open their home up to a stranger when a woman isn't, I've know a few guys who have can't accom as they have children whether they live full time with them or not , most have their children pop in without any warning as it should be ... some may just not want strangers in their home and want to keep fab life separate from their every day life ...
Surely guys should be afforded that right the same as a woman .. not everything is as black and white as it seems x "
Exactly this. It’s a ridiculous assumption that they must be married. I know loads of men who won’t. I prefer those men. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too) |
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"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)"
This last bit is exactly why we don't want to accommodate. Sorry that happened to you  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I think it's only one of the many double standards on the site , a can't accommodate is just that regardless of the sex , why is a man expected to open their home up to a stranger when a woman isn't, I've know a few guys who have can't accom as they have children whether they live full time with them or not , most have their children pop in without any warning as it should be ... some may just not want strangers in their home and want to keep fab life separate from their every day life ...
Surely guys should be afforded that right the same as a woman .. not everything is as black and white as it seems x
Exactly this. It’s a ridiculous assumption that they must be married. I know loads of men who won’t. I prefer those men. "
I feel for guys on this site at times they get the raw end of the deal .. everyone has the right to feel safe , letting strangers know your address can leave you open to a whole manner of problems , unwanted visitors and attention , there can be as many psycho women as their can be psycho men , but a guy says he can't accommodate and all of a sudden he's married or playing away , I get there will be some but that could be said about women too x |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
We don't have that on ours but can totally relate to those that might.. |
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Everyone has there own thoughts on if they accept playmates into there home for us it depends on how we feel after having a social with someone. Op we see that you have stated on your profile that you can't accommodate so perhaps you could give us your reason why your not able to accommodate |
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Not accommodating alone doesn't mean someone is married. There will usually be many other signs that give it away.
Many live in house shares or have children too, or don't want a stranger in their home.
Some who don't accom, can't because they have a partner, this includes men and women.
For some reason women who can't accom are considered sensible or having kids at home, where as men are just seen to be cheating. |
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Just to add to this,
My ex wife still has my house untill it is sold
We don’t have kids,
This divorce has been dragging on for over 2 years now
I have been advised not to buy another house else she can make a claim agaisnt it
So for me I have had to go back to parents
I’m not going to risk bringing a stranger into my parents home
If it’s my house then fine that’s my risk
There are some genuine reasons and as a younger guy it’s super hard to find someone willing to take the risk and meet up to explore |
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Not letting strangers in to your home, pussy's...Where's the thrill of stranger danger.....the eyeball popping rush of adrenaline waiting to see if your going to end up under your own patio.....ffs people
Mr |
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We simply don’t want our home to be a space where we do this, and also don’t want to be in someone else’s home. Clubs or Hotel Rooms are safe and sexy too. |
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"Everyone has there own thoughts on if they accept playmates into there home for us it depends on how we feel after having a social with someone. "
This is probably the case with many couples, but you can't put it on the profile because it's just more hassle..
Yes, filters..
We know..  |
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"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)"
That sounds awful, sorry it happened to you.
Reminds me of one guy I met for a local social once, who turned sour after I said it would be social meeting, nothing else. He then kept messaging me saying “I wonder where do you live, I saw you turned *so and so* direction when going back home, maybe I can pop over when next time around.” Now imagine if I actually told him where I lived. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I once had a woman who I had had arranged a 3sum with send a guy to my house on the pretence I would have a 3sum with him, she had never been in my home the reason she had my address was through the hotel confirmation receipt that I had left sitting on the hotel table. The meet was a disaster and i bowed out I left them too it and went home, because of this she sent a complete stranger to my house while my kids were there ..
My point being hell hath no fury like a woman scorned . |
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Can't accommodate, won't accommodate.. That's anyone's choice and they don't need to explain why. Some may be married some may not be. Assuming anything is pretty dim though. Expecting others to accommodate when you yourself can't is also pretty hypocritical. Make it easy. Just split a room. |
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By *usie pTV/TS 25 weeks ago
taunton |
Probably need to be catious there is always the chance that the woman turned out to be a nymphomaniac and was always at your front door banging to be let in for more. |
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As has already been said, it really takes a discussion with the profile owner to understand. Mine says can accom, but I have to trust/know someone before they actually get invited over, it's a very small proportion of people I play with that get to see my home.
Also I'm very messy so I have to tidy up first, and that's way more effort than just driving 15 mins to Chams  |
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"Probably need to be catious there is always the chance that the woman turned out to be a nymphomaniac and was always at your front door banging to be let in for more."
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I can't accommodate because the wife would kill me having to explain why I'm banging a total stranger in the house in front of our kids.
Cheating should be easier than this. It's so unfair that infidelity isn't acceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)
That sounds awful, sorry it happened to you.
Reminds me of one guy I met for a local social once, who turned sour after I said it would be social meeting, nothing else. He then kept messaging me saying “I wonder where do you live, I saw you turned *so and so* direction when going back home, maybe I can pop over when next time around.” Now imagine if I actually told him where I lived."
Bloody hell, that's a close call.
She stopped coming in after I spoke to the security manager. |
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We can't accommodate as we have young adult children that treat our house like a hotel so we never know when their going to pop in and out ..
We don't know other people's circumstances so we never like to judge and jump to conclusions.
I don't blame people for not wanting to have strangers in their house.. |
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By *itenDaysCouple 25 weeks ago
Vale of Glamorgan |
"We can't accommodate as we have young adult children that treat our house like a hotel so we never know when their going to pop in and out ..
We don't know other people's circumstances so we never like to judge and jump to conclusions.
I don't blame people for not wanting to have strangers in their house.. "
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I've had at least 2 women I can think of who insisted that they would only meet me in their own home.
They were both very well verified so I had no concerns about them not being who they said they were.
I refused though on the grounds that if they had so little thought for their own personal safety that they were happy to give their address to me as a complete stranger they weren't people I was comfortable meeting.
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)"
WTAF were they thinking or up to? |
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Whatever reason is applicable to a lady for not accommodating is also applicable to a gent.
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By *eah BabyCouple 25 weeks ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)
That sounds awful, sorry it happened to you.
Reminds me of one guy I met for a local social once, who turned sour after I said it would be social meeting, nothing else. He then kept messaging me saying “I wonder where do you live, I saw you turned *so and so* direction when going back home, maybe I can pop over when next time around.” Now imagine if I actually told him where I lived."
We also had a bad experience with a single guy who turned stalker ish, so now if we accommodate we pick them up at a pub and blindfold them until in the house … just hope the police don’t pull us up on route
Only ever been to one guys house and that’s because we fully trusted him, rather keep it to hotels. |
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"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)
That sounds awful, sorry it happened to you.
Reminds me of one guy I met for a local social once, who turned sour after I said it would be social meeting, nothing else. He then kept messaging me saying “I wonder where do you live, I saw you turned *so and so* direction when going back home, maybe I can pop over when next time around.” Now imagine if I actually told him where I lived.
We also had a bad experience with a single guy who turned stalker ish, so now if we accommodate we pick them up at a pub and blindfold them until in the house … just hope the police don’t pull us up on route
Only ever been to one guys house and that’s because we fully trusted him, rather keep it to hotels."
I'd be in just for the blind fold
Mr |
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By *dc1Man 25 weeks ago
essex and all over the south |
"Its also that there are so many external cameras these days. Even the neighbours ring door bell can pick people coming and going. I never look if they can or cant as i look at clubs. Who is going and normally use fab as a way of making convo and meet them there.
You consider a ring doorbell before you go to someone’s house??. What?
"
We are talking about why people dont accomodate, not if i would worry about the door bell. Cause people will. Yes. And why shouldnt they. This life style isnt for everone and neighbours gossip. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I can accommodate bit not all the time I have a life and responsibilities |
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We can't accommodate & are married go figure - it's right.
But no I just don't want strangers in my family home anywhere near my children I don't even tell people the area we live never mind my address.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Its also that there are so many external cameras these days. Even the neighbours ring door bell can pick people coming and going. I never look if they can or cant as i look at clubs. Who is going and normally use fab as a way of making convo and meet them there.
You consider a ring doorbell before you go to someone’s house??. What?
We are talking about why people dont accomodate, not if i would worry about the door bell. Cause people will. Yes. And why shouldnt they. This life style isnt for everone and neighbours gossip. "
Explain the doorbell again so I get why it’s relevant to asking soneone to their house. |
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"We can't accommodate & are married go figure - it's right.
But no I just don't want strangers in my family home anywhere near my children I don't even tell people the area we live never mind my address.
Mrs "
Totally agree. No matter what my relationship is, was or will ever be there’s not a chance anyone would be coming to my house. I’ve people I’ve known and some I’ve been meeting for years who still don’t have a clue where I live x |
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I’ve long since stopped worrying about what other preferences people choose to put on their profile. It leads to a more peaceful experience of fab
Not my circus, not my monkeys
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
Irrelevant  I can accom but my door isn’t open to all, obvs, and I’d happily set profile to can’t and I’m as single as a single thing on a single day
Whether married or not the choice to accom or not is purely the profile holders choice move on |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I can’t accom because my hamster likes to watch and it freaks me out. |
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By *os19Man 25 weeks ago
Edmonton |
I was often asked why I can’t accommodate that I have added a sentence to my profile that I can’t accommodate due to elderly parent living with me.Now I don’t get asked why I can’t accommodate.I have no problem meeting at a club or spa and would consider a hotel after meeting first for a social |
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"I can’t accom because my hamster likes to watch and it freaks me out. "
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"I can’t accom because my hamster likes to watch and it freaks me out. "
Same. But then my cat keeps telling me I’m overthinking it. Weirdo. |
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"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)
That sounds awful, sorry it happened to you.
Reminds me of one guy I met for a local social once, who turned sour after I said it would be social meeting, nothing else. He then kept messaging me saying “I wonder where do you live, I saw you turned *so and so* direction when going back home, maybe I can pop over when next time around.” Now imagine if I actually told him where I lived."
Yikes |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
Good assumption OP |
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"I can’t accom because my hamster likes to watch and it freaks me out. "
Having a reactive pet is one of the reasons I choose not to accom
Moreover though, I don't want people I meet in my home until I know them well
If some folk want to believe that marriage is my driver, that is, of course, their choice
I respect that
After all, swinging is for the 'like minded'
Give me a handful of folk on my wavelength anyway.
It's never been a numbers game or a popularity contest for me |
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"Its also that there are so many external cameras these days. Even the neighbours ring door bell can pick people coming and going. I never look if they can or cant as i look at clubs. Who is going and normally use fab as a way of making convo and meet them there.
You consider a ring doorbell before you go to someone’s house??. What?
We are talking about why people dont accomodate, not if i would worry about the door bell. Cause people will. Yes. And why shouldnt they. This life style isnt for everone and neighbours gossip.
Explain the doorbell again so I get why it’s relevant to asking soneone to their house. "
I live in a block of flats. Everyone that passes my door will set off the sensor camera across the hall. I don't want my neighbours talking about me having men that aren’t my partner arriving so wont accommodate.
Most of these camera doorbells send notifications to phones. They arent just there to check if you need them. So depending how close your doors are your neighbours will be notified of comings and goings
I dont really get what is so hard to understand |
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I don't make that assumption, I ask the question.
I say I can't accommodate in my profile, but I also explain that I will, once there is trust in place. |
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I feel like it takes a level of cynicism to assume a man is married if he can't accommodate.
I think I'd prefer to meet someone who had a more open mind about modern families and living situations.
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Shouldn't assume it's always because they must be married. I'm genuinely single but my daughter lives with me, I have to consider her and she doesn't want random strangers in our home xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I don't make that assumption, I ask the question.
I say I can't accommodate in my profile, but I also explain that I will, once there is trust in place."
Yes I'm the same, I put can't accomm random strangers but if I grew closer to someone over time and trust was there, then I'd consider bringing them back home but that would take time x |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Good assumption OP "
Not my assumption, I guess reading isn't your strongest skillet.
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Good assumption OP
Not my assumption, I guess reading isn't your strongest skillet.
"
I guess spelling isn’t yours |
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I’m able to accommodate if you are nice and wholesome. |
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By *eah BabyCouple 25 weeks ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"I can accommodate but prefer hotel meets until comfortable.
I met someone years ago who came to my house for a coffee and chat. She snooped around and found my work pass.
Nothing further happened between us.
A few days later she turned up at reception asking for me. A very uncomfortable situation (true too)
That sounds awful, sorry it happened to you.
Reminds me of one guy I met for a local social once, who turned sour after I said it would be social meeting, nothing else. He then kept messaging me saying “I wonder where do you live, I saw you turned *so and so* direction when going back home, maybe I can pop over when next time around.” Now imagine if I actually told him where I lived.
We also had a bad experience with a single guy who turned stalker ish, so now if we accommodate we pick them up at a pub and blindfold them until in the house … just hope the police don’t pull us up on route
Only ever been to one guys house and that’s because we fully trusted him, rather keep it to hotels.
I'd be in just for the blind fold
Mr "
They did get fair warning and up to them if they still wanted to meet, wasn’t like an abduction and they said they found it erotic  |
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Are you single is certainly the first question I ask if a guy has "cannot accomodate" on his profile.
I'm single & very happy to meet at my place, in fact I prefer it.
I take time getting to know someone first, so have no worries about having a "stranger" in my house. |
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I'm only able to accommodate very rarely, I'm sorry I just live with family members. It is what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I say accommodate but only those I've met in person. Certainly not on first social either. Hotel is better.
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Assumption is wrong I personally don’t accomodate because I don’t want a virtual stranger knowing where I live or come into my private sanctuary which I share with relatives. No not a husband in case you jump to a conclusion. |
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"Don’t assume. Top tip. "
Yup. Very judgemental |
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By *irthandgirthMan 25 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
It was easier to say 'can't accommodate' while in the military. It wasn't impossible, but some people are put off by having to show up to the guard room, show ID, have their picture taken and details put on file.
And some didn't like the embarrassment of turning up and having their meet find out that they are already on file having met others from the same base. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I’m able to accommodate, but only when I don’t have the kids because there’s absolutely zero chance I’m having someone round while my kids are upstairs.
"
Exactly this plus I have to know and trust the person. |
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I can accommodate, but they usually decline when I tell them they need to turn up an hour early and put in a bit of time with the hoover and duster if they want to come around. |
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I say I can’t accommodate but can at certain times as my son lives with me as stated on my profile |
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Are you really wondering that? Aside from the normal shared house/has kids/wants anonymity reasons do you realise how many women get assaulted or stalked and worse?
Even with absolute stringent vetting, if you think we haven't sent your photos, telephone number expected meeting time, voice notes etc to a trusted friend/partner then you are foolish.
If you think we haven't got an escape route, hidden our valuables, hidden anything that could be used as a weapon but left something inconspicuous we could use in the event of an emergency then you are doubly foolish.
But stick to assuming they are married and cheating, women clearly get enough judgement for that too.
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I don't want people in my home! |
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I will never have anyone at my home again after a very unsettling experience which ended up with the police involved. |
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My husband and I don't accommodate. We wouldn't want to do swinging in our family home. We like to keep the 2 sides of our lives separate. |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
To quote from a great film in Lock Stock, "assumption is the mother of all fuck ups"
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My home is my safe space away from the world |
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"The rule is for thee and not for me" comes to mind and is prevalent for a lot of subjects on Fab. Most of them lack the self awareness to see their own hypocrisy though so charge it to the game I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Have someone who I don't know 100% in my home your alright I'll get a hotel |
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It’s important for many to know if it’s open and equal. Offering to accommodate just makes sense. Get to know them first. It’s been a game changer for me. X |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
I can accomodate but I totally understand these who don’t especially women due to privacy and security concerns.
That said, I would not engage in chat or meet with these who has “I am going to assume..” on their profile. Who knows what other assumptions might there be |
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"I will never have anyone at my home again after a very unsettling experience which ended up with the police involved."
Roxanne? |
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Thinking of getting a dummy Ring doorbell after reading this thread! |
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"Are you really wondering that? Aside from the normal shared house/has kids/wants anonymity reasons do you realise how many women get assaulted or stalked and worse?
Even with absolute stringent vetting, if you think we haven't sent your photos, telephone number expected meeting time, voice notes etc to a trusted friend/partner then you are foolish.
If you think we haven't got an escape route, hidden our valuables, hidden anything that could be used as a weapon but left something inconspicuous we could use in the event of an emergency then you are doubly foolish.
But stick to assuming they are married and cheating, women clearly get enough judgement for that too.
"
Who is aimed at? If its me the OP you haven't got the point at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Like everything on here, each other own. Respect others opinions and reasons. Everyone has a choice, the choice to trust, engage, meet etc equally as much as the choice to avoid, not reply to a message or even to block to avoid same people showing up on their particular search preferences.
Hotels are a great safe place to meet, who doesn’t like a mutual place, both can leave, neither has to change sheets hehe.
Respect and kindness takes this site a long way. You decide how you want to navigate and act on here |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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""The rule is for thee and not for me" comes to mind and is prevalent for a lot of subjects on Fab. Most of them lack the self awareness to see their own hypocrisy though so charge it to the game I guess."
What game?... |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Like everything on here, each other own. Respect others opinions and reasons. Everyone has a choice, the choice to trust, engage, meet etc equally as much as the choice to avoid, not reply to a message or even to block to avoid same people showing up on their particular search preferences.
Hotels are a great safe place to meet, who doesn’t like a mutual place, both can leave, neither has to change sheets hehe.
Respect and kindness takes this site a long way. You decide how you want to navigate and act on here "
You know it with the sheets...the hotel can do a better job than my mattress getting soaked... |
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""The rule is for thee and not for me" comes to mind and is prevalent for a lot of subjects on Fab. Most of them lack the self awareness to see their own hypocrisy though so charge it to the game I guess.
What game?..."
You know, that game... |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
Says the op with ' cannot accommodate' |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Says the op with ' cannot accommodate'"
There's only a few comments on this thread that show that the contributor has completely not understood the post and you're one of them. Read it again or perhaps some of the earlier replies. |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Says the op with ' cannot accommodate'"
Yes I think that's the point. |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Says the op with ' cannot accommodate'"
He’s asking why people have that on their profiles |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Says the op with ' cannot accommodate'
He’s asking why people have that on their profiles "
Specifically, he's asking why people who have that on their profiles assume that others who have the same are married |
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As Benny Hill mentioned
Never assume,
It makes an Ass,
Out of yoU and Me |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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People who are married/ cheating might put 'can accommodate' & then chose not to/ book a hotel anywhere.
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"Can't accommodate - ooh will meet in a nice hotel
Can accommodate - has cameras set up in every room and will have dodgy bedding. Avoid.
"
Or doesn’t want a pyscho bitch stalking you, parking in the street because she’s Google-Earthed your home address anyway…….(this has happened to me btw)  |
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"Like everything on here, each other own. Respect others opinions and reasons. Everyone has a choice, the choice to trust, engage, meet etc equally as much as the choice to avoid, not reply to a message or even to block to avoid same people showing up on their particular search preferences.
Hotels are a great safe place to meet, who doesn’t like a mutual place, both can leave, neither has to change sheets hehe.
Respect and kindness takes this site a long way. You decide how you want to navigate and act on here
You know it with the sheets...the hotel can do a better job than my mattress getting soaked..."
Also far nicer, than your average judo mat in a swinger club….. |
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married"
Says the op with ' cannot accommodate'
He’s asking why people have that on their profiles
Specifically, he's asking why people who have that on their profiles assume that others who have the same are married"
Yes that’s what I meant |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Anyway* |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Like everything on here, each other own. Respect others opinions and reasons. Everyone has a choice, the choice to trust, engage, meet etc equally as much as the choice to avoid, not reply to a message or even to block to avoid same people showing up on their particular search preferences.
Hotels are a great safe place to meet, who doesn’t like a mutual place, both can leave, neither has to change sheets hehe.
Respect and kindness takes this site a long way. You decide how you want to navigate and act on here
You know it with the sheets...the hotel can do a better job than my mattress getting soaked...
Also far nicer, than your average judo mat in a swinger club….. "
Judo mat... Lmao! |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"I’m able to accommodate, but only when I don’t have the kids because there’s absolutely zero chance I’m having someone round while my kids are upstairs.
"
Pity not all guys think like you, i get "il pop by when they are in bed" or "pop out to my car tell them u are speaking to a friend" |
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There are so many reasons why someone can't or doesn't want yo accommodate. Personally I can't due to living arrangements. As and when this changes I will be able to but only at my discretion and with someone I can trust. |
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I can't accommodate. I'm not married, so guess that blows the OPs theory apart.
I happen to own my own place, but have family members living with me. I'm part way through a slow renovation process and I also don't want to invite strangers into my house at present. So there are plenty of reasons why people don't accommodate |
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We used to be able to accommodate until we had 2 more kids then that had to stop hence why we cnt accommodate now.
It is our preference that who we meet can accommodate if not we will not meet them. With that being a couple or a single.
All our play meets have been with people who can accommodate and yes there is some out there what can we used to be 1 of them. We have had lots of messages from single guys who say they can accommodate but when we arrange to meet for some reason they cnt.
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 25 weeks ago
About 3 feet away from the fence |
I cannot due to living situation, but even if I could, I learned especially from fabguys & other dating apps, that there's people who use these type of sites who are criminals, dr*g addicts, bi-polar or suffering from some other psychological disorder & frankly i don't want these people knowing where i live. |
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"I can't accommodate. I'm not married, so guess that blows the OPs theory apart.
I happen to own my own place, but have family members living with me. I'm part way through a slow renovation process and I also don't want to invite strangers into my house at present. So there are plenty of reasons why people don't accommodate "
My theory....I don't have one. Read it again.
Another contributor replied to a similar comment to yours with....
"he's asking why people who have that on their profiles assume that others who have the same are married". |
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People make these assumptions due to a) the prevalence of attached singles on here, b) old fashioned assumptions about only women looking after children, c) probably reasonable assumptions about women being more wary about personal safety, and d) the fact that women are more highly in demand here, and so people are less likely to slag them off and more likely to brown nose. |
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"People make these assumptions due to a) the prevalence of attached singles on here, b) old fashioned assumptions about only women looking after children, c) probably reasonable assumptions about women being more wary about personal safety, and d) the fact that women are more highly in demand here, and so people are less likely to slag them off and more likely to brown nose."
I don’t like the assumption thats made, but it’s how it goes and I’ve a more than reasonable explanation for not accommodating.
More than happy to half cost of a hotel though, but who knows maybe I’ll meet someone local one day. |
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From my own personal experiences here, I am indeed one of those Judgy Mc Judgefaces on not being able to accommodate and assume you are one of the 9 out of 10 cheating people but…I will always ask in private conversations why you are not able to accommodate before deciding if I want to take things further.
I too do not accommodate because quite frankly, I don’t need you weirdos in my safe space |
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"From my own personal experiences here, I am indeed one of those Judgy Mc Judgefaces on not being able to accommodate and assume you are one of the 9 out of 10 cheating people but…I will always ask in private conversations why you are not able to accommodate before deciding if I want to take things further.
I too do not accommodate because quite frankly, I don’t need you weirdos in my safe space "
Slightly hypocritical but hey ho. |
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"From my own personal experiences here, I am indeed one of those Judgy Mc Judgefaces on not being able to accommodate and assume you are one of the 9 out of 10 cheating people but…I will always ask in private conversations why you are not able to accommodate before deciding if I want to take things further.
I too do not accommodate because quite frankly, I don’t need you weirdos in my safe space "
So where do you meet the weirdos? |
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"From my own personal experiences here, I am indeed one of those Judgy Mc Judgefaces on not being able to accommodate and assume you are one of the 9 out of 10 cheating people but…I will always ask in private conversations why you are not able to accommodate before deciding if I want to take things further.
I too do not accommodate because quite frankly, I don’t need you weirdos in my safe space
Slightly hypocritical but hey ho. "
Why’s it hypocritical? I didn’t deny I make judgments on profiles that don’t accommodate and I stated my reasons for not wanting others in my home so I fail to see why you say I’m a hypocrite. I’m not being an arse, genuinely interested. |
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"From my own personal experiences here, I am indeed one of those Judgy Mc Judgefaces on not being able to accommodate and assume you are one of the 9 out of 10 cheating people but…I will always ask in private conversations why you are not able to accommodate before deciding if I want to take things further.
I too do not accommodate because quite frankly, I don’t need you weirdos in my safe space
Slightly hypocritical but hey ho.
Why’s it hypocritical? I didn’t deny I make judgments on profiles that don’t accommodate and I stated my reasons for not wanting others in my home so I fail to see why you say I’m a hypocrite. I’m not being an arse, genuinely interested. "
I said slightly. |
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"People make these assumptions due to a) the prevalence of attached singles on here, b) old fashioned assumptions about only women looking after children, c) probably reasonable assumptions about women being more wary about personal safety, and d) the fact that women are more highly in demand here, and so people are less likely to slag them off and more likely to brown nose."
Correct on all counts, and especially the last one, which applies right across the board of any forum thread |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Why do some couples and a lot of women have the following on their profiles when they themselves can't accommodate?
"If you can’t accommodate, I’m going to assume you’re married""
So what? Can you meet them or not? |
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I lost my wife a few years back and both our kids took it very hard and haven’t felt ready to move out and get there own place to live. That’s why I can’t accommodate. I did agreed there are those that are doing things behind partners backs but there are also genuine people that have a reason and in some cases may not want to talk about it. Me personally I’ve found that thinking back to the good times I had with my wife has helped me. I still find it hard to go to clubs on my own sometimes and with not being able to accommodate can make meeting people hard but I always hope there’s at la few that understand and not just label you Under the label of he or she is cheating. |
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What do you do when you get someone what can not accommodate and can not travel??? |
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"What do you do when you get someone what can not accommodate and can not travel???"
Ask them, or decide it's not worth the hassle and move on. |
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"What do you do when you get someone what can not accommodate and can not travel???"
Presumably they can't meet? So move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Because the last 'visitor' I invited home turned out to be a right weirdo and was paying far too much attention to the house contents and my possessions.
Few days later got home to find someone had tried unsuccessfully to get in.
Didn't have cctv then but do now (externally).
Thats why I have don't accommodate on my profile.
Once bitten twice shy. |
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By *rLordMan 25 weeks ago
Swadlincote |
Well I don't accommodate, yes I'm married it says so on profile. Reason for not accommodating, wife house bound with carers in and out all day.
Have a camera on the outside of house, covering area in which my beautiful machine is parked. I must be a right perv lol |
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By *.T.Man 25 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"Can't accommodate - ooh will meet in a nice hotel
Can accommodate - has cameras set up in every room and will have dodgy bedding. Avoid.
"
That made me spit my coffee across my desk!
Is it the cameraa or bedding you take exception to? |
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Because in a lot of cases it's true |
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"What do you do when you get someone what can not accommodate and can not travel???"
A convict? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"What do you do when you get someone what can not accommodate and can not travel???"
Pick them up and take them dogging |
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By *hagTonightMan 25 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
[Removed by poster at 09/04/24 14:28:52] |
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By *hagTonightMan 25 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
You could live with relatives or friends, so that could be one of the reasons for it too |
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I go with having expensive carpets and don't want any traffic and marks on them. The reasons can be endless and everyone is entitled to manage their meets the way the want surely. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Just because people don't want to accommodate doesn't mean a lot really!
It's definitely a trust thing.
What people have to remember is this site and the "lifestyle" is an extension of real life!
It's almost a form of escapism....
Let's be honest, I doubt most tell their doctors, employers, parents and older children are into swinging, random sex with people online, dad enjoying being cuck'd or mum enjoying a MMF spit roasting!!
Look at the saying
"Home is where the heart is"
For me, home is where my kids stay with me 3–4 times a week since I moved in (shared access).
Home is a fridge with personal pictures and drawings stuck with magnets.
Home is kids' bedrooms with clutter!
A home has a French bulldog with a funny human name that farts, burps and humps a teddy!
Home has nosey neighbors and friends close by
(who you don't wish to share things with)
Home is a secure place.
In my own opinion, home is somewhere you take someone you trust or want to allow a insight of your life.
Happy fabbing
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