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If they wanted to..
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By *bi HaiveMan 33 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Don't stress it OP.
When I don't hear back from people I just put it down to their phone being swallowed by a passing blue whale, them accidentally dropping it in a canal...or them being abducted by aliens and being out of a signal zone.
Far more likely than them not actually wanting to reply to me. Just that they can't.  |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Don't stress it OP.
When I don't hear back from people I just put it down to their phone being swallowed by a passing blue whale, them accidentally dropping it in a canal...or them being abducted by aliens and being out of a signal zone.
Far more likely than them not actually wanting to reply to me. Just that they can't. "
I’ll go for alien probing to keep my mind busy |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already  |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"No. Because they will also think the same and you will both end up in a state of paralysis. This is the way of things. Try once then leave it.
J"
I don’t think I should chase it though. I know there’s differing thoughts on whether you message again but just not sure I should |
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By *aizyWoman 33 weeks ago
west midlands |
"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already "
I am terrible for doing this too! |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already
I am terrible for doing this too!"
Read then forget to reply lol |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I'm a double messager. Because my brain is like that. It does kind of depend on the last message though.
J"
I normally am too, and usually it’s normal life and vanilla situations but this one’s slightly different |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already "
This. But also, if I have multiple conversations going on at the same time I get a bit overwhelmed. I end up not opening any of them until I feel like I can give them a proper reply. |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already "
Maybe I guess, but it’s no response from my perspective and I guess I have to leave it be. |
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"I'm a double messager. Because my brain is like that. It does kind of depend on the last message though.
J
I normally am too, and usually it’s normal life and vanilla situations but this one’s slightly different "
message again then - if they were not going to reply they wont anyway and if their inbox is drowning in messages yours will pop to the top - you got nothing to loose. Message again - just a quick hi or something xxxx - good luck |
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"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already
This. But also, if I have multiple conversations going on at the same time I get a bit overwhelmed. I end up not opening any of them until I feel like I can give them a proper reply. "
We have 31* unread for this very reason.
*Not many in the grand scheme, I know! |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already
This. But also, if I have multiple conversations going on at the same time I get a bit overwhelmed. I end up not opening any of them until I feel like I can give them a proper reply. "
Yeah i so that ask the time.. Or promise /overcommit to do something that i end up totally flapping about so ghost myself  |
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By *eliWoman 33 weeks ago
. |
I think with messaging it's a bit more complicated than that. If they're messaging others but not you? Sure. Sometimes people aren't particularly talking to anyone on a one to one basis.
I do that on Fab. Away from Fab. I do warn people that I either waffle or don't talk.
So try if you want OP, leave it if you know deep down they're not particularly interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"I am terrible at physically replying in my vanilla life... And even worse on fab. It's not necessarily that they don't want to reply, they just might have replied in their head already
This. But also, if I have multiple conversations going on at the same time I get a bit overwhelmed. I end up not opening any of them until I feel like I can give them a proper reply.
We have 31* unread for this very reason.
*Not many in the grand scheme, I know! "
I feel terrible because they probably know that I’m ignoring them, but it’s not because I don’t want to talk to them at all, i just need a minute. |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I'm a double messager. Because my brain is like that. It does kind of depend on the last message though.
J
I normally am too, and usually it’s normal life and vanilla situations but this one’s slightly different
message again then - if they were not going to reply they wont anyway and if their inbox is drowning in messages yours will pop to the top - you got nothing to loose. Message again - just a quick hi or something xxxx - good luck "
It’s not on fab and I’m just wondering if I should leave be. |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I think with messaging it's a bit more complicated than that. If they're messaging others but not you? Sure. Sometimes people aren't particularly talking to anyone on a one to one basis.
I do that on Fab. Away from Fab. I do warn people that I either waffle or don't talk.
So try if you want OP, leave it if you know deep down they're not particularly interested. "
It’s away from fab and I just wonder if I’m best leaving it. |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Nah, OP. I agree. If someone really wants to speak to you/see you, they will.
It's taken me a long time to realise this, but it holds true & saves a lot of hanging about.  "
I think life experience is telling me that, but sometimes if we give up on our hopes or live a life taking no chances, we never know what might be.
But there’s also a risk of an answer that’s maybe not what we want. |
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By *eliWoman 33 weeks ago
. |
"I think with messaging it's a bit more complicated than that. If they're messaging others but not you? Sure. Sometimes people aren't particularly talking to anyone on a one to one basis.
I do that on Fab. Away from Fab. I do warn people that I either waffle or don't talk.
So try if you want OP, leave it if you know deep down they're not particularly interested.
It’s away from fab and I just wonder if I’m best leaving it."
Just leave it. If they come back, they do, if they don't, fuck it. |
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"They would.
Nothing specific but thinking it’d be good to hear from someone, but that I texted/messaged last. "
If you want something enough swallow your pride and make it happen, or at least try a couple more times before accepting defeat |
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"Nah, OP. I agree. If someone really wants to speak to you/see you, they will.
It's taken me a long time to realise this, but it holds true & saves a lot of hanging about.
I think life experience is telling me that, but sometimes if we give up on our hopes or live a life taking no chances, we never know what might be.
But there’s also a risk of an answer that’s maybe not what we want."
I hear you. Its shitty when you're left hanging. But messaging again just resets the clock on your anxiety - it's now only a day since they didn't reply, rather than 2, 3, etc.
I do hope it resolves itself OP. X |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Nah, OP. I agree. If someone really wants to speak to you/see you, they will.
It's taken me a long time to realise this, but it holds true & saves a lot of hanging about.
I think life experience is telling me that, but sometimes if we give up on our hopes or live a life taking no chances, we never know what might be.
But there’s also a risk of an answer that’s maybe not what we want.
I hear you. Its shitty when you're left hanging. But messaging again just resets the clock on your anxiety - it's now only a day since they didn't reply, rather than 2, 3, etc.
I do hope it resolves itself OP. X"
Yeah you’re right it just resets it, that’s a good analogy of it.
Fingers crossed and I’ll have to just leave it and hope, I guess i already know the worst it can be. |
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"They would.
Nothing specific but thinking it’d be good to hear from someone, but that I texted/messaged last.
If you want something enough swallow your pride and make it happen, or at least try a couple more times before accepting defeat "
I don't it's pride that's stopping him messaging.
Reading between the lines, I think he realises that to carry on messaging may be fruitless (sadly) To message again & again could lead to him being blocked, if its not reciprocated. |
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"I'm a double messager. Because my brain is like that. It does kind of depend on the last message though.
J
I normally am too, and usually it’s normal life and vanilla situations but this one’s slightly different
message again then - if they were not going to reply they wont anyway and if their inbox is drowning in messages yours will pop to the top - you got nothing to loose. Message again - just a quick hi or something xxxx - good luck
It’s not on fab and I’m just wondering if I should leave be. "
From this. Maybe. You know your situation and you know if it's a 'Hi, sorry we're both a bit shit at staying in touch' or something more meaningful.
Like I say, I'm an annoying double messager because sometimes someone hides away in a dark place and they need a nudge (yeah, I mean you if you're lurking reading) but other times I will get too much in my own head.
Anyway if I double message you I like you so ignore at your peril 
J |
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"Nah, OP. I agree. If someone really wants to speak to you/see you, they will.
It's taken me a long time to realise this, but it holds true & saves a lot of hanging about.
I think life experience is telling me that, but sometimes if we give up on our hopes or live a life taking no chances, we never know what might be.
But there’s also a risk of an answer that’s maybe not what we want.
I hear you. Its shitty when you're left hanging. But messaging again just resets the clock on your anxiety - it's now only a day since they didn't reply, rather than 2, 3, etc.
I do hope it resolves itself OP. X
Yeah you’re right it just resets it, that’s a good analogy of it.
Fingers crossed and I’ll have to just leave it and hope, I guess i already know the worst it can be."
I've been there, OP. More than once x |
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"They would.
Nothing specific but thinking it’d be good to hear from someone, but that I texted/messaged last.
If you want something enough swallow your pride and make it happen, or at least try a couple more times before accepting defeat
I don't it's pride that's stopping him messaging.
Reading between the lines, I think he realises that to carry on messaging may be fruitless (sadly) To message again & again could lead to him being blocked, if its not reciprocated. "
Maybe……but if unsure I’d just ask directly. That I messaged last isn’t enough to say someone’s no for them |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 33 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Nah, OP. I agree. If someone really wants to speak to you/see you, they will.
It's taken me a long time to realise this, but it holds true & saves a lot of hanging about.
I think life experience is telling me that, but sometimes if we give up on our hopes or live a life taking no chances, we never know what might be.
But there’s also a risk of an answer that’s maybe not what we want.
I hear you. Its shitty when you're left hanging. But messaging again just resets the clock on your anxiety - it's now only a day since they didn't reply, rather than 2, 3, etc.
I do hope it resolves itself OP. X
Yeah you’re right it just resets it, that’s a good analogy of it.
Fingers crossed and I’ll have to just leave it and hope, I guess i already know the worst it can be.
I've been there, OP. More than once x"
Yeah it knowing when to leave it, sometimes against feelings but the right thing. |
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