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Is there something there...
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OK, looking for advice. I've been chatting to this girl at work we get along and have a laugh. And chat over teams, there's flirting im sure but its very pc. However at the Xmas party I felt like she was flirting with me touching and pawing but she was d*unk and is gregarious so I didn't make a move as felt it wasnt right.
More recently went for drinks after work and again she was grabbing my arm and i dared to put my hand on her back as she leaned into me to chat, which was met with a smile..
Anyway got a night out coming up and we are both staying in same hotel. I am enjoying being single but she's really hot but likewise really nice and I'm not ready to date. I feel conflicted because I like her, do I give in to my carnal desires or give it a miss to avoid complications? I've met people st work and never ended well. Dilemma what would you do? |
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By *irthandgirthMan 33 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
I've seen too many workplace relationships fail and create toxicity, which is why I have politely declined every advance and never made any of my own towards female colleagues.
Absolutely not worth screwing up a career over (for me) |
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Never date people you work with its a golden rule...... Hot you say really hot....... But you don't need anything serious...... But shes hot........ One night stand maybe or mother of your future children  |
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"Don’t shit where you sleep.
And since you’re calling her a “girl” it makes it sound like she’s younger (and possibly more junior) than you. Doubly don’t shit where there’s a power imbalance."
I was about to say, you're old enough to know better OP. Don't do it. |
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By *ullyMan 33 weeks ago
Near Clacton |
In my working life I had a lot of men women and young apprentices, I never ever accepted any invitation to "socialise" out of work hours. And certainly would have never got into sex or an affair! I guess I may be a bit old fashioned but not only did it not hang right with me, I was well aware of the dangers having had friends and indeed some of my workers who had dabbled and got their fingers burnt. I was in an open marriage too , but never indulged with the workforce. |
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Two sides to this
a) go and do it, seems like there’s a chance
b) a lot of work time in future to have awkwardness.
Normally I’d think don’t shag on your own doorstep, but you get one chance at life and no point regretting it |
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OK, context is important clearly, we are about same age 5 yrs younger, dofferent circumstances but thats not for here. It was more than a single brush and a smile, lots of moments of provecation and have been regularly flirting in my opinion. Ultimately im not great on picking up clues from women never have been nor do imagine an epiphany. So I'm just wondering keep things separate or risk it getting serious... just looking for experience over emotion. |
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"OK, context is important clearly, we are about same age 5 yrs younger, dofferent circumstances but thats not for here. It was more than a single brush and a smile, lots of moments of provecation and have been regularly flirting in my opinion. Ultimately im not great on picking up clues from women never have been nor do imagine an epiphany. So I'm just wondering keep things separate or risk it getting serious... just looking for experience over emotion. "
All I can suggest is honesty. The biggest misunderstandings between people occur because one or both assume they know the others intentions.
If you do get further involved with her you've already discussed the possible outcomes with other people when really she should be the first to know what's on your mind. |
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"OK, context is important clearly, we are about same age 5 yrs younger, dofferent circumstances but thats not for here. It was more than a single brush and a smile, lots of moments of provecation and have been regularly flirting in my opinion. Ultimately im not great on picking up clues from women never have been nor do imagine an epiphany. So I'm just wondering keep things separate or risk it getting serious... just looking for experience over emotion.
All I can suggest is honesty. The biggest misunderstandings between people occur because one or both assume they know the others intentions.
If you do get further involved with her you've already discussed the possible outcomes with other people when really she should be the first to know what's on your mind. "
That's fair and sound advice although I'm not outing her or myself here. Or maybe I am. ?? |
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By *irthandgirthMan 33 weeks ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"In my working life I had a lot of men women and young apprentices, I never ever accepted any invitation to "socialise" out of work hours. And certainly would have never got into sex or an affair! I guess I may be a bit old fashioned but not only did it not hang right with me, I was well aware of the dangers having had friends and indeed some of my workers who had dabbled and got their fingers burnt. I was in an open marriage too , but never indulged with the workforce. "
I worked in a garage where one of the mechanics was married to a lady in admin. His best mate (and best man at their wedding) worked in the parts department.
Best man ended up with wife first as an affair then full time after the marriage split. All 3 still worked there trying to garner support for their 'side' from others.
It was fucking awful for everyone who worked there. |
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"OK, looking for advice. I've been chatting to this girl at work we get along and have a laugh. And chat over teams, there's flirting im sure but its very pc. However at the Xmas party I felt like she was flirting with me touching and pawing but she was d*unk and is gregarious so I didn't make a move as felt it wasnt right.
More recently went for drinks after work and again she was grabbing my arm and i dared to put my hand on her back as she leaned into me to chat, which was met with a smile..
Anyway got a night out coming up and we are both staying in same hotel. I am enjoying being single but she's really hot but likewise really nice and I'm not ready to date. I feel conflicted because I like her, do I give in to my carnal desires or give it a miss to avoid complications? I've met people st work and never ended well. Dilemma what would you do? "
She might not want to date either
She might just want sex and fun
Talk to her, be honest and go from there, you can always emigrate if she turns into a bunny boiler after  |
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"OK, context is important clearly, we are about same age 5 yrs younger, dofferent circumstances but thats not for here. It was more than a single brush and a smile, lots of moments of provecation and have been regularly flirting in my opinion. Ultimately im not great on picking up clues from women never have been nor do imagine an epiphany. So I'm just wondering keep things separate or risk it getting serious... just looking for experience over emotion.
All I can suggest is honesty. The biggest misunderstandings between people occur because one or both assume they know the others intentions.
If you do get further involved with her you've already discussed the possible outcomes with other people when really she should be the first to know what's on your mind.
That's fair and sound advice although I'm not outing her or myself here. Or maybe I am. ?? "
Not as far as I know.
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