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More funny than embarrassing
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We were in England over the weekend.
Got to the hotel and started taking things out of the bags, putting passports and whatnot in the safe.
P produces a dildo that I didn't know he had brought and threw it into the safe.
Fast forward to Sunday morning, getting ready to leave and the safe won't open 
Reception sent a man up to sort it,he unlocks it,swings it open and Just stands there frozen staring straight at the dildo!
I had short moment of embarrassment followed by me sitting on the edge of the bed trying not to start laughing at the panic on the man's face 
You lot surely have similar stories, I'd love to hear them 
Em x |
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Haha. On my honeymoon in 2010 we arrived at our Hotel in San Francisco, and because it was out honeymoon they said they would send champagne up to the room. Anyhow, we got up to the room, forgot about that and then undressed each other etc.
10 mins later theres a knock, and for some reason unbeknown my wife jumps up, puts a dressing gown on and answers. The bell boy swans in with champagne and sees me on the bed with a hard on, trying my best to get under the covers |
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"
Reception sent a man up to sort it,he unlocks it,swings it open and Just stands there frozen staring straight at the dildo!
I had short moment of embarrassment followed by me sitting on the edge of the bed trying not to start laughing at the panic on the man's face
"
" .it's a sentimental family heirloom...  "
|
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"Haha. On my honeymoon in 2010 we arrived at our Hotel in San Francisco, and because it was out honeymoon they said they would send champagne up to the room. Anyhow, we got up to the room, forgot about that and then undressed each other etc.
10 mins later theres a knock, and for some reason unbeknown my wife jumps up, puts a dressing gown on and answers. The bell boy swans in with champagne and sees me on the bed with a hard on, trying my best to get under the covers "
Oh no |
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By *reeSpiritElleWoman 26 weeks ago
Miles of beautiful golden sand, Dorset |
Love it.
Reminds me of the time I put my dildo by the kitchen sink for cleaning, before it went back in the toy box.
The plumber I booked to put a new mixer tap on the sink, got his dates wrong, turned up a day early. I said, well as you're here, you may as well do it now ... completely forgetting that aforementioned dildo was boldly standing upright on its suction cup.
He said absolutely nothing about it (what a gent!) but did smirk. I, on the other hand, was bright red with embarassment |
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"Must be some dildo to need protecting in the safe!
"
It is quite nice but he thought he was funny throwing it in there and I thought nothing of it because you'd expect to be opening the stupid safe, not that poor man |
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I have a mug that a friend sent me as a housewarming present when I moved into my new home after separating from husband.
It’s a beautiful floral mug ( ) but has the words “cock hungry whore” on it between the flowers. It got quite a lot of use with all my friends fighting over using it and eventually it got chipped so became the toothbrush mug in the bathroom.
Fast forward a few months and I’m having probs with the shower so landlady arranged for plumber to come out.
First time, i remember to hide the mug. Second time i wasn’t available to let the plumber in so she kindly did so for me. Yeah. Cock hungry whore was present in the bathroom.
Plumber was due back today and she asked several times if I’d be in. I think she wants me to hide the mug again!
Meanwhile plumber is now in hospital apparently and I’ve got to wait until Friday to be rebooked. I’ll leave my toothbrush on the side and keep the mug hidden! |
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Not embarrassing for myself. However, I used to work for a company doing house refurbishments. One day we where sent in to help the carpet fitter move furnishings out of the way.
Upon starting in the master bedroom we lifted the bed to find a 10inch dildo in a strap on harness.
It must of been at the same time the lady realised what we'd uncovered. As the footsteps up the stairs where frantic and rapid.
Needless to say good ice breaker and the brews where plentiful |
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By *nnCeeWoman 26 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
Although... we played an ice-breaker game at work. 2 truths and a lie.
One of the team members, who was new to the team, included that whilst on a run, the call of nature was too strong and she was unable to control her bowels.
She has earned herself the nickname "Paula" (a la Paula Radcliffe)
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I slipped a vibrating dildo into the wife’s carry on luggage at the airport, that way when we went through security, she had to put it in the tray
Needless to say she wasn’t amused, but I found it hilarious  |
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"I would have been out of that hotel so fast and left him to deal with it
We had to live with his parents for a while years ago. All our stuff was in boxes and suitcases. When we moved out into our own place I unpacked all the suitcases and gave them back. A few weeks later they were going away on holiday and I got a text…..I’d left a vibrator in the front pocket of one of the suitcases "
I considered that for a minute but I couldn't leave him he was stressed
I'd say you felt a bit awkward the next time you saw them |
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Me and an ex were watching a porno in his bed sit. For some reason we were sat right in front of the telly. I may or may not have been giving him a handjob, I can’t remember.
Unbeknownst to us one of his housemates walked in unannounced and stood there aghast. I was mortified and hid my face in my boyfriend’s shoulder. The boyfriend was not bothered at all! |
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Once me and my swing partner were staying in Edinburgh,at my mates flat. It was 4 floors up and no lift half way up she started laughing. I had no idea why, she kept laughing and had to stop on the stairs. I got a bit annoyed as she wouldn’t tell me why. When we got upstairs I found out that one of her rabbits had switched on and was buzzing and moving in her luggage.
She laughed so much she couldn’t speak and needed an inhaler |
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By *ornycougaWoman 26 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
I think I've shared this one before. I once had some Saturday afternoon delight with a local FB and had taken a selection of toys with me in a large handbag. On my way home I popped into Morrisons (no judgement please!) bought a few things and went to leave. The security alarm went off and the guard went rifling through my bag which was full of nipple clamps, restraints and vibrators. It was a while before I dared show my face in there again! |
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Attended an organised swingers social in Cardiif, and, as usual, booked a hotel room.
Had 2 guys and a gal back for some "apres social" fun in which a double ender was front and center for the ladies.
Booked out and got home next day, and sorting the bags when we discovered the double ender was missing. I wrote it off, but Jayne insisted I ring the hotel to ask if it had been handed in.
I initially refused, thinking she was joking, only fir yer to insist, so I ring, give our room number, and rather tentatively enquire if anything of a "personal" nature had been handed in, all whilst Jayne is sat near me trying not to burst with laughter.
No luck, it hadn't been mentioned so we had to replace it.
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After another social, got invited with a few others to go to a guys room for a bit of an impromptu party.
3 couples, 1 single lady, and the single guy who's room it was.
Inevitably things progress, and soon the ladies are mostly in lingerie or naked, and us guts are pretty much naked too.
We must have been enjoying ourselves a little too much, as there was a knock at the door, picture thescene, people scrambling to look semi decent, or hide, as the night manager asks us to keep the noise down, all the while looking wide eyed at one lady lounging on the bed in lingerie, and me under the covers! |
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By *sWyldWoman 26 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see "
Oh my god
She packed all the boxes back up and moved out again, right? |
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see "
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!! |
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By *sWyldWoman 26 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
Oh my god
She packed all the boxes back up and moved out again, right? "
No amazingly not! |
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By *sWyldWoman 26 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!!"
Lol how did you respond? |
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By *ornycougaWoman 26 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"After another social, got invited with a few others to go to a guys room for a bit of an impromptu party.
3 couples, 1 single lady, and the single guy who's room it was.
Inevitably things progress, and soon the ladies are mostly in lingerie or naked, and us guts are pretty much naked too.
We must have been enjoying ourselves a little too much, as there was a knock at the door, picture thescene, people scrambling to look semi decent, or hide, as the night manager asks us to keep the noise down, all the while looking wide eyed at one lady lounging on the bed in lingerie, and me under the covers! "
I think I'm going to the wrong socials! |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!!"
My daughter done the same with a vibrator and asked why i was hiding a microphone in there |
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!!
Lol how did you respond? "
I told him daddy must have bought it in a joke shop to scare me |
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!!
My daughter done the same with a vibrator and asked why i was hiding a microphone in there "
At least she thought it was a microphone |
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Years ago while with ex, we stayed in holiday home her parents rented out. All we had to do was post keys through the letter box, which we did. On way home we realised had left door restraints on the bedroom door. Couldn't go back as Couldn't get in. Had to phone her mum and tell her the cleaner might get a surprise. |
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Doing an house clearance a couple of years ago in some very sad circumstances
The deceased bloke's parents lived down south but said they'd meet me at his flat in their camper van
Got around to clearing his bedroom, his poor elderly mother was looking in the wardrobe...
"He must have had a lady friend, there are some lovely shoes & dresses in here, don't look like they've been worn outside"
And then the drawers full of butt plugs, dildos, wigs, dvds & magazines, fortunately she just stood there gobsmacked instead of keeling over
I asked her to put the kettle on whilst I removed the offending items in bin liners...
Oddly enough I made a fair profit at auction for the magazines, dvds, size 12 stilettos & wigs |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!!
My daughter done the same with a vibrator and asked why i was hiding a microphone in there
At least she thought it was a microphone "
Yeah, there’s no explaining it when it’s Willy shaped |
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By *dc1Man 26 weeks ago
essex and all over the south |
I took my car for an mot once. Forgot my wifes used and spunk stained knickers were behind my back seat on the floor. Should have seen the mot testers face as he checked the rear seatbelts. If he had of passed the bloody thing i would have given them to him. Lol |
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Well being a plumber I’ve seen a few funny this but this one always gets people laughing.
I’d fitted a new bathroom in a friend of a friends home. Job complete and left for the weekend, to which I received a call on the Sunday evening not often I get calls on a Sunday night. On answering the call sure enough it was the lady who I’d done the bathroom for. She was upset and unhappy about the job because since od left all she could hear was a funny noise. So I guess I had to go around and have a look more so to see what was happening after all I didn’t want water everywhere. I got there I could her a funny noise which I don’t usually hear. Up on having a look around the lady had left a small dildo a bullet I’ll describe it as in the shampoo holder. So I surely made her aware of what she had done for calling me out the embarrassment on her face was out of this world. I think in future she will check what the noise is before calling a tradesman out again.  |
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"Doing an house clearance a couple of years ago in some very sad circumstances
The deceased bloke's parents lived down south but said they'd meet me at his flat in their camper van
Got around to clearing his bedroom, his poor elderly mother was looking in the wardrobe...
"He must have had a lady friend, there are some lovely shoes & dresses in here, don't look like they've been worn outside"
And then the drawers full of butt plugs, dildos, wigs, dvds & magazines, fortunately she just stood there gobsmacked instead of keeling over
I asked her to put the kettle on whilst I removed the offending items in bin liners...
Oddly enough I made a fair profit at auction for the magazines, dvds, size 12 stilettos & wigs"
We always had to box our rooms up before deploying overseas. Got told years ago the family came to collect their sons belongings after he passed away.
Boxes full of bdsm gear, gimp masks, dildos etc |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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Mine is definitely open in my photo album at the counter of a DIY store. And it was as plain as day, the pictures that popped up.
They laughed and then I laughed … and then I got a discount on my purchases |
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"We were in England over the weekend.
Got to the hotel and started taking things out of the bags, putting passports and whatnot in the safe.
P produces a dildo that I didn't know he had brought and threw it into the safe.
Fast forward to Sunday morning, getting ready to leave and the safe won't open
Reception sent a man up to sort it,he unlocks it,swings it open and Just stands there frozen staring straight at the dildo!
I had short moment of embarrassment followed by me sitting on the edge of the bed trying not to start laughing at the panic on the man's face
You lot surely have similar stories, I'd love to hear them
Em x"
That is so funny,I love it. |
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"After another social, got invited with a few others to go to a guys room for a bit of an impromptu party.
3 couples, 1 single lady, and the single guy who's room it was.
Inevitably things progress, and soon the ladies are mostly in lingerie or naked, and us guts are pretty much naked too.
We must have been enjoying ourselves a little too much, as there was a knock at the door, picture thescene, people scrambling to look semi decent, or hide, as the night manager asks us to keep the noise down, all the while looking wide eyed at one lady lounging on the bed in lingerie, and me under the covers!
I think I'm going to the wrong socials! "
Take a look at the Wales forum, the social scene is huge, with sometimes 2 or even 3 events on the same day. Whilst a I can't guarantee it's happening at every social, its a safe bet to say that there is often an "apres social" hotel or house party after most of them. Maybe consider coming to Wales one weekend for one of the socials. Why not make a mini break out of it, book a hotel for one and maybe even stage an after-hours party of your own lol? |
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"When my aunt moved house many years ago her little ones found a box containing hers. They thought they were ornaments and proudly displayed them on the living room windowsills for all her new neighbours to see
That reminds me of the time my eldest pulled out a dildo form under my pillow and came out waving it about asking why there was a willy in my bed!!
My daughter done the same with a vibrator and asked why i was hiding a microphone in there
At least she thought it was a microphone
Yeah, there’s no explaining it when it’s Willy shaped "
Emergency karaoke? |
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A few years ago bought some massage oil, she was naked laying on her front on the bed talking with friends on chat, I was naked as well and one of her friends said I should use my body and rub myself across her body, not as easy as it sounds, with one push my whole body slid over hers and right of the end of the bed I went, people watching our cam was pissing themselves laughing |
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When I was in rehab I had to move house so my mum sorted it all out.
One day she came to visit she said she had found some personal stuff (a whole ottoman of sex toys. I kept a straight face and told her to throw them out. That was all that was said until about 10mins later when she said you and Jay must of had hell of a sex life.
Funniest thing she emptied them in the normal dustbin so love to have seen the workers faces at the refuse tip |
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