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Would you meet someone you're not attracted to for kinks?
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Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes?? |
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Interesting proposition.
I sent to a shabari workshop yesterday which was supposed to be for solo and singles and had probably a 60/40 ratio of M to F so we ended up some MM partnerships.
I was in no way attracted to the 2 guys I worked with but I did appreciate their work and could envisage a meeting with them involved.
As you have eluded to not all moon play progresses to sexual acts (sexual play was very discouraged yesterday and we did start the session with a talk on consent and appropriate touch etc).
When paired with a lovely lady who did want me to bind her breasts we had defined what I could and could not do, so moving the breast to place rope was fine but nipple contact was to be avoided. |
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"Interesting proposition.
I sent to a shabari workshop yesterday which was supposed to be for solo and singles and had probably a 60/40 ratio of M to F so we ended up some MM partnerships.
I was in no way attracted to the 2 guys I worked with but I did appreciate their work and could envisage a meeting with them involved.
As you have eluded to not all moon play progresses to sexual acts (sexual play was very discouraged yesterday and we did start the session with a talk on consent and appropriate touch etc).
When paired with a lovely lady who did want me to bind her breasts we had defined what I could and could not do, so moving the breast to place rope was fine but nipple contact was to be avoided. "
Thank you. Yes this is the kind of scenario I was thinking of or similar... |
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"Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes??"
Yes but this is usually because kink comes with a pre-play discussion.
But, not if things could get sexual. Little metal needs something to be inspired by. |
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Yes and I have in the past. Generally it was for a photo session in which bondage was involved. But it was agreed in advance, the guy was well known for his skills and being trustworthy.
When I attended fetish clubs / munches I often met and engaged with people I had no attraction to. I generally find the BDSM community quite respectful of boundaries and consent. There will be exceptions but in the main it’s generally a safe place, in my experience. |
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"Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes??"
Not for us, there are plenty of people who enjoy BDSM for the sake of it but for us the fun is in the sex and kink intertwined, not separate. |
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Depends, there are some kink things I want to learn about, by people who are knowledgeable about the subject. In this case I'm going to learn from an individual, to me how they look etc isn't important, it's their knowledge and ability to teach that is. |
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Not for me, I’m looking for someone quite specific (and will probably never find) but I have had meetings with people that didn’t tick the boxes. It didn’t really work as I didn’t feel completely comfortable |
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For a strictly non-sexual session, sexual attraction would be irrelevant for me so yes i would. However there'd have to be some other connection between us, I couldn't just do it with a random because they've got nice kit. |
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By *ewcatWoman 33 weeks ago
Berkshire |
For non sexual, in certain situations yes. So stuff like being a rope bunny for people learning and practicing their ties. Teaching things to others is also non sexual.
Arranging a meet with a new person for BDSM alone wouldn’t happen. I need to build a bond and a connection to go down rabbit holes and that needs attraction.
So for me unless it’s educational or a good friend wants to try something in a safe space then no I definitely need to be attracted to the person.
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"Possibly. But there'd have to he attraction. Either to the idea of the kink or to the individual."
There is a lot of attraction to the kink lol. Nearly impossible to find peeps who are into that..even one step milder usually freaks people out |
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Sex and kink are easily separated for me.
Not being sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean I can't trust them or have genuine interest in other things they can do.
I probably wouldn't arrange to meet someone I wasn't attracted to with the intent of doing kink but not sex. Mostly because a lot of people tie the two together and I'd feel a weight of expectation that would keep me out of a good headspace.
But if at an event or club with someone that interests me only that way and with clear distinctions made before engaging, okay. |
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"Yes.
If it was the kink I am after and 'he' is well turned out e.g hygienic / good personality then why not ...
Not being attracted to someone can be part of the attraction in some cases"
That last bit... Yes, kind of weird but 100%. Now someone explain that. |
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Yes.
When I meet the majority of my subs, it's for a power thing as opposed to anything sexual. So as long as there is mutual respect, trust and communication, that's more important to me than dominating someone that's attractive but not actually submissive. |
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By *icentiousCouple 33 weeks ago
Up on them there hills |
If it was purely B/d play then physical attraction is not paramount, however if it a deeper relationship as in D/s play then it is more holistic and one of the holistic elements is physical attraction, the main driver being intellect connection though. |
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