FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does it matter though?
Does it matter though?
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If they've got a recent negative STD test and they are open about who else they are shagging now (and I trust they are responsible and respect my health) then I don't care about who they've had sex with in the past. |
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
Nope. We had both played the field before we met and have played with others side by side. No jealousy here what do ever. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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I overthink a lot and part of me can't help but make comparisons and wonder if I "measure up" so to speak. In real life, it's easy enough to avoid because the past is the past but on Fab it's heightened because people are seeing others at the same time and you can feel like you can't escape those thoughts if that makes sense? |
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"The number of partners or knowing the partners personally?
Both. Either. I left it open for people to interpret as wanted - number and who can both have an effect on some."
Yes and yes then.
Yes if they'd slept with hundreds... Because I would want to be more than just a number or another hole.
And yes it might be a bit awkward if I knew where they'd been before hand, I've said no to people because of this. Too close to home and all that. This is often the problem with the place I live, it's a big city but it's like a village.
On here? Again probably yes, as I wouldn't want to be compared to someone.
But then do we ever really know? We only know what someone tells us  |
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"Quantity wouldn’t bother me (maybe if it was low it would), but occasionally someone has slept with a particular person that just makes me wtf!"
Exactly this. Knowing what a partner generally likes and seeing a massive deviation from this wouldn't be appealing. My last partner from here met some individuals he really didn't find attractive just bc he was getting guaranteed sex so went it. I found this quite off-putting. |
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Only if I know they've been with someone I really dislike. Which would be pretty unlikely, as I rarely actively dislike people. Otherwise, nope! It's all about how you are with me whilst we're together.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"All those people saying it makes a difference... What if those veris were hidden and you couldn't see them and were blissfully unaware? "
It sounds selfish, but probably, yeah. I have no right to tell someone how they should run their profile but if I knew nothing, that would be great. If I had an inkling though, that's when my mind would start going |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
On the site? Unlikely as I'm not looking for a relationship.
In real life. Yes. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"All those people saying it makes a difference... What if those veris were hidden and you couldn't see them and were blissfully unaware? "
This is why I don't like veris. Blissfully unawareness = sex! |
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"All those people saying it makes a difference... What if those veris were hidden and you couldn't see them and were blissfully unaware? "
Past is past.
I might think oh god she shagged he/she/it, but basically that should be none of my business. |
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By *ornycougaWoman 33 weeks ago
NOT IN THE UK Wherever I lay my hat |
"All those people saying it makes a difference... What if those veris were hidden and you couldn't see them and were blissfully unaware? "
I have asked to see veris that have been hidden. I have also stumbled on veris that the person has given to other people. I completely agree that veris only paint part of a picture but I try to do my DD! |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"All those people saying it makes a difference... What if those veris were hidden and you couldn't see them and were blissfully unaware?
I have asked to see veris that have been hidden. I have also stumbled on veris that the person has given to other people. I completely agree that veris only paint part of a picture but I try to do my DD! "
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I'm not judgemental about such matters, we don't know the history of other people or what motivated to engage in a particular relationship.
I know that I am not the same person I was when I lost my virginity, we all learn, grow up and move on. As midnight put it, you want to focus on who that person is now, not the person they were 10 years ago in another relationship |
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In general, no. The only exception I can think of is if I knew they had slept with/were sleeping with someone who I somehow knew took risks with their sexual health - a negative STI test would satisfy the former, but might still be a problem if the sex was ongoing with that person. |
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By *ddie1966Man 33 weeks ago
Paper Town Central, Essex. |
The only thing a veri means to me is that they are genuine. I'm not interested in what they say about someone, I'll make my own mind up thankyou.
Would it worry me if someone had numerous encounters. Not in the slightest. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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On here, probably not. I think. In real life, probably. I mean, I definitely wouldn't go anywhere near someone who'd shagged a family member of mine 
And I can't think of a "past lovers" situation that would positively affect my decision to meet someone. Maybe if they'd shagged Keanu Reeves? Then I will have shagged him by proxy  |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"On here, probably not. I think. In real life, probably. I mean, I definitely wouldn't go anywhere near someone who'd shagged a family member of mine
And I can't think of a "past lovers" situation that would positively affect my decision to meet someone. Maybe if they'd shagged Keanu Reeves? Then I will have shagged him by proxy "
Ha. Yes. Taiki Waititi? 100%.
I think I was thinking in terms of couples where they could see a single man and if they'd seen friends had veri'd him than maybe he'd be seen as more reliable? That sort of thing. |
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There's probably a few exceptions if I think hard enough, but as a general principle I would say no.
How people treat me is usually what I care about.
Now if they tell me about their exploits with previous partners that could influence me. Generally, that's quite a turn on, so much more interesting than a generic listing of sexual desires. |
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As I know some people start new profiles to wipe veris/meet numbers, it's all a bit hard to decipher who has met who, unless the meet tells you anyway.
I got to the point where I assume now that everyone, could have had a bareback gang bang, the night before and safeguard my sexual health practices accordingly |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"This is why my preference is 40 yr old virgins.
Not the pure thing again, Woody, darn it. No. "
Haha. We are in a swinging site. I’m sure they have been with someone before me. I can handle stuff I do know, a lot more than the stuff that I don’t know so hidden verifications are not any better for me.
Does it affect me? I’m in a swinging site, so no, not really. But it might in the wrong circumstances. |
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"The number of partners or knowing the partners personally?
Both. Either. I left it open for people to interpret as wanted - number and who can both have an effect on some."
Number no, if an ex of someone I know then generally yeah that going to impact my choices x |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"I overthink a lot and part of me can't help but make comparisons and wonder if I "measure up" so to speak. In real life, it's easy enough to avoid because the past is the past but on Fab it's heightened because people are seeing others at the same time and you can feel like you can't escape those thoughts if that makes sense?"
It makes perfect sense Joe, I really like your honesty.  On Fab you have photos, videos, veris detailing sexual exploits and they're there, clearly detailing, in some cases, the ins and outs of someone's antics with another.
If you're the type to compare, find yourself lacking etc it must be tough at times. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"I overthink a lot and part of me can't help but make comparisons and wonder if I "measure up" so to speak. In real life, it's easy enough to avoid because the past is the past but on Fab it's heightened because people are seeing others at the same time and you can feel like you can't escape those thoughts if that makes sense?
It makes perfect sense Joe, I really like your honesty. On Fab you have photos, videos, veris detailing sexual exploits and they're there, clearly detailing, in some cases, the ins and outs of someone's antics with another.
If you're the type to compare, find yourself lacking etc it must be tough at times."
There’s a massive difference to real world and fab. I would answer a lot of questions quite differently. |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"The number of partners or knowing the partners personally?
Both. Either. I left it open for people to interpret as wanted - number and who can both have an effect on some.
Yes and yes then.
Yes if they'd slept with hundreds... Because I would want to be more than just a number or another hole.
And yes it might be a bit awkward if I knew where they'd been before hand, I've said no to people because of this. Too close to home and all that. This is often the problem with the place I live, it's a big city but it's like a village.
On here? Again probably yes, as I wouldn't want to be compared to someone.
But then do we ever really know? We only know what someone tells us "
Yes, that's true but on the same hand even what someone tells/shows us can be enough to put a person off another. Or make them more interested, to keep it balanced. :D |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"All those people saying it makes a difference... What if those veris were hidden and you couldn't see them and were blissfully unaware? "
Veris aren't the only way of knowing, are they? |
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Sometimes. Fab world isn’t that big, so sometimes you end up running into their previous partners which in some instances I can imagine would be quite odd.
Other than that I echo Joe’s sentiments and those of the people who have said they sometimes question the choices they made regarding previous partners  |
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Well if all their veris are from stunning, slim 6 foot tall model type women it might make me think ya know what I'm really not his type and just not bother.
Or if I see veris from someone that I know from experience is slightly unhinged, then I won't touch him with a bargepole as I don't need that kind of drama in my life. |
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By *a LunaWoman 33 weeks ago
South Wales |
I’d like to be all mature and cool about it and say no issues at all, but sure as eggs if they mentioned the name of someone I thought was an asshat? I’d dry up quicker than a puddle on a Summer’s day.
Because I’d question their judgement.
Otherwise, no. Past sexual partners are past. So long as transparent about current partners, I’d be mostly cool about it. |
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If they’ve had lots of meets yes it does put me off as I don’t want to just be another to their collection.
And yes there are men I avoid if they’ve been with a certain couple of girls on here just because I know the girls have had lots of meets and go bareback. My reason is I just don’t wanna risk my health. |
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Apparently, so I am told, it is a common thing for people on a swinging site to have sex with other people. I think it would be a little weird if the fact you found out that they had had sex with other people put you off them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"Apparently, so I am told, it is a common thing for people on a swinging site to have sex with other people. I think it would be a little weird if the fact you found out that they had had sex with other people put you off them."
I don't think it's the fact that people have met others that is the issue, it's WHO the others are that could be.
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In a way yes it does, I'll compare myself to people they've met and my overthinking mind will think that I would be a a disappointment in comparison - similar if they've met loads, I'm not hugely experienced in the swing world so again I'd see tons of meets and over think it that again I'd just be an awkward disappointment.
It's a me thing, not a them thing - I'm fully aware my mind is a nightmare.
Mrs |
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Previous - not so much but I know it will sound weird but I often have an issue with who they are meeting while they are also meeting with me at the same time, or after, if it makes sense. I posted a thread about it a while ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
A persons previous sexual partners would have an impact on me meeting them or not defo....I was about to meet a guy until he displayed a new veri & I had very unpleasant info about his new veri so I obviously did not meet him. |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"Apparently, so I am told, it is a common thing for people on a swinging site to have sex with other people. I think it would be a little weird if the fact you found out that they had had sex with other people put you off them."
Is it really? Sure that's not a late April Fool's prank?
Yes, as whateverhernameisatm said, it's more about the who. I was curious as to how others view it - if perhaps lack of confidence, dislike of another, a whole myriad of reasons would have an effect on who they meet.
On a site like Fab, where that's more readily shown/known I thought it might. Like when a woman is discouraged from responding to a man because all veris are from a particular demographic that's far from her own. |
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"Apparently, so I am told, it is a common thing for people on a swinging site to have sex with other people. I think it would be a little weird if the fact you found out that they had had sex with other people put you off them.
Is it really? Sure that's not a late April Fool's prank?
Yes, as whateverhernameisatm said, it's more about the who. I was curious as to how others view it - if perhaps lack of confidence, dislike of another, a whole myriad of reasons would have an effect on who they meet.
On a site like Fab, where that's more readily shown/known I thought it might. Like when a woman is discouraged from responding to a man because all veris are from a particular demographic that's far from her own. "
If I like someone then I like someone and I don’t think other things come in to it. It would appear however that others let confidence and self belief get in the way for which I feel sorry about. I think the great thing about Fab is that it lets you explore things and trying different things is a great way to build that confidence. |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"Well if all their veris are from stunning, slim 6 foot tall model type women it might make me think ya know what I'm really not his type and just not bother.
Or if I see veris from someone that I know from experience is slightly unhinged, then I won't touch him with a bargepole as I don't need that kind of drama in my life."
But you might be. If they're interested, they're interested regardless of who they've fucked before (or so I'd like to think in my utopian approach).
The drama thing? Fair. |
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"Apparently, so I am told, it is a common thing for people on a swinging site to have sex with other people. I think it would be a little weird if the fact you found out that they had had sex with other people put you off them.
Is it really? Sure that's not a late April Fool's prank?
Yes, as whateverhernameisatm said, it's more about the who. I was curious as to how others view it - if perhaps lack of confidence, dislike of another, a whole myriad of reasons would have an effect on who they meet.
On a site like Fab, where that's more readily shown/known I thought it might. Like when a woman is discouraged from responding to a man because all veris are from a particular demographic that's far from her own. "
Actually this reminds me - I found out that I'd slept with a lady that a friend's partner had previously had a thing with, and occasionally my friend reminds me of that and I wish she wouldn't, although it's never been any kind of issue between me and her partner.
Also, I once had a FWB who ended up meeting one of my friends and going into a serious relationship with them. It was a bit of a stinger for a short while but only a short while and we're all good friends now and it's no issue.
So it can vary depending on the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
To be honest yes, it can really put me off people if they have a trail of gross, weird or ultra sleazy people they have been with. Fab proves many people shag anything with a pulse I have been left really surprised at who has been with who on here. I know it sounds judgemental, I admit it is |
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By *aiseiMan 33 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
Nope, wouldn’t care at all.
If anything I have a preference for people to have had more previous partners than fewer as it tells me more about how they see sex. |
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"Well if all their veris are from stunning, slim 6 foot tall model type women it might make me think ya know what I'm really not his type and just not bother.
Or if I see veris from someone that I know from experience is slightly unhinged, then I won't touch him with a bargepole as I don't need that kind of drama in my life.
But you might be. If they're interested, they're interested regardless of who they've fucked before (or so I'd like to think in my utopian approach).
The drama thing? Fair."
Totally this - people don't always like only one type, and sometimes in life you can end up only meeting people who are the same basic type but that doesn't mean that's the only kind of person you'd like to meet. |
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
Seeing a picture of a woman with a dick in her mouth, or worse, covered in cum, puts me off instantly.
But not number of partners or that they might be married. |
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Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers. "
Yes many people hide all trace from their own profiles but people like the woman you described often proudly show all veris. That is the most common way I find out, promptly adding a warning note to the the profile hiding all trace. Trust me they have popped up twice on this profile and multiple on my last, my warning notes gave me lucky escapes |
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"Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers.
Yes many people hide all trace from their own profiles but people like the woman you described often proudly show all veris. That is the most common way I find out, promptly adding a warning note to the the profile hiding all trace. Trust me they have popped up twice on this profile and multiple on my last, my warning notes gave me lucky escapes"
Absolutely, good idea
I don't think private notes was a thing then, but I found a few men I'd chatted to had verified her, but not displayed her verification to them. It's v sneaky,as they'd know it wouldn't do them any good. |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers.
Yes many people hide all trace from their own profiles but people like the woman you described often proudly show all veris. That is the most common way I find out, promptly adding a warning note to the the profile hiding all trace. Trust me they have popped up twice on this profile and multiple on my last, my warning notes gave me lucky escapes
Absolutely, good idea
I don't think private notes was a thing then, but I found a few men I'd chatted to had verified her, but not displayed her verification to them. It's v sneaky,as they'd know it wouldn't do them any good. "
Even just clicking on a random profile and following veri trails of people regardless of sex, gender, sexuality etc can often throw up a lot of surprises with some individuals |
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"Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers. "
Something very similar happened to me not that long ago. I was actively chatting to someone with a very high possibility of meeting. I told him the first meet will be social only and he cancelled on the day with some lame excuse. Funnily enough, he displayed a very the next day from a woman who was meeting men for bareback sex only. Luckily escape for me, I guess. |
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It's weird to be judged by people who don't know you....
I once met a guy a couple of times and after my verification went up on his profile, someone else he had met told him she wouldn't see him anymore cause he met me and I'm a party host.....
I'm not sure what her issue with me greeting all my customers at a party and chatting all night with folks was? I guess she assumed I was bareback banging them all.....  . Couldn't be further from the truth ha ha! |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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There used to be a cross dresser on here who was also a sex worker. He literally had HUNDREDS of verifications and was a complete cum dump, literally almost daily having men go in and sometimes queue. He also had dozens upon dozens of bareback videos and pictures. A lot of these were attractive men who no doubt had wives and girlfriends too.
Are people who saying they would not judge, not be put off by the men who went with him? Even if you say you would practice safe sex, that would have to include safe oral sex. Would it still not put you off a bit?
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"Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers.
Something very similar happened to me not that long ago. I was actively chatting to someone with a very high possibility of meeting. I told him the first meet will be social only and he cancelled on the day with some lame excuse. Funnily enough, he displayed a very the next day from a woman who was meeting men for bareback sex only. Luckily escape for me, I guess."
For sure and showed he was only interested in guaranteed sex. |
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"Yes it can put me off.
There used to be a woman in my area who was cheating on her hubby and taking part in bareback gangbangs. She posted about catching an Sti too.
If someone had a veri from her, there's no way I would have met them. If that makes me judgey, so be it.
I used to check her veries, as often people didn't display hers.
Yes many people hide all trace from their own profiles but people like the woman you described often proudly show all veris. That is the most common way I find out, promptly adding a warning note to the the profile hiding all trace. Trust me they have popped up twice on this profile and multiple on my last, my warning notes gave me lucky escapes
Absolutely, good idea
I don't think private notes was a thing then, but I found a few men I'd chatted to had verified her, but not displayed her verification to them. It's v sneaky,as they'd know it wouldn't do them any good.
Even just clicking on a random profile and following veri trails of people regardless of sex, gender, sexuality etc can often throw up a lot of surprises with some individuals "
Ha ha I like your detective work |
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By (user no longer on site) 33 weeks ago
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"I overthink a lot and part of me can't help but make comparisons and wonder if I "measure up" so to speak. In real life, it's easy enough to avoid because the past is the past but on Fab it's heightened because people are seeing others at the same time and you can feel like you can't escape those thoughts if that makes sense?
It makes perfect sense Joe, I really like your honesty. On Fab you have photos, videos, veris detailing sexual exploits and they're there, clearly detailing, in some cases, the ins and outs of someone's antics with another.
If you're the type to compare, find yourself lacking etc it must be tough at times."
Absolutely! I'm trying to get better at letting it go and find I'm good after a little while, but it took/takes some getting used to as I realised those "issues" are mine and shouldn't reflect badly on them  |
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I take each person I meet on their own merit. I think a lot of how anyone behaves, what they enjoy etc. is based around the interaction they have with an individual.
There are some things I do with some people that I don’t do with others and I expect the same is said of my partners. As such, when I meet someone I try to be the best DD for that person, this is enhanced if I know that person (through conversation and expression of desires).
I will say I can be put off by a potential partners seemingly preferred physical type, and I have said no, when I feel meeting that person would make me feel uncomfortable.
Verifications don’t put me off, and I do not trade in gossip |
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"Apparently, so I am told, it is a common thing for people on a swinging site to have sex with other people. I think it would be a little weird if the fact you found out that they had had sex with other people put you off them.
Is it really? Sure that's not a late April Fool's prank?
Yes, as whateverhernameisatm said, it's more about the who. I was curious as to how others view it - if perhaps lack of confidence, dislike of another, a whole myriad of reasons would have an effect on who they meet.
On a site like Fab, where that's more readily shown/known I thought it might. Like when a woman is discouraged from responding to a man because all veris are from a particular demographic that's far from her own. "
Actually thinking about it I do do this, it hasn't occurred to me before. But if I get propositioned by someone who's verifications are all from super slim, attractive hotties it generally stops me from meeting them as I think they're going to be disappointed when they meet me and I don't understand why they are messaging me in the first place! It has happened a few times. I feel much more comfortable/confident meeting someone where I feel I am more their 'type' I guess. |
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The only time I could imagine it making a difference is if I know they've previously been with a family member or close friend, that would feel a bit weird.
Number of partners absolutely doesn't matter to me, but I do get judgy so I'd probably make some form of judgement if I knew ex-partners. Wouldn't make a difference to me meeting them, but would factor into how I viewed them alongside everything else. |
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"There used to be a cross dresser on here who was also a sex worker. He literally had HUNDREDS of verifications and was a complete cum dump, literally almost daily having men go in and sometimes queue. He also had dozens upon dozens of bareback videos and pictures. A lot of these were attractive men who no doubt had wives and girlfriends too.
Are people who saying they would not judge, not be put off by the men who went with him? Even if you say you would practice safe sex, that would have to include safe oral sex. Would it still not put you off a bit?
"
I would absolutely find myself judging. I'm not sure it would stop me meeting if I really liked the person as I've met many people who aren't on here and whose pasts I have zero way of knowing.
It's also easy enough to hide your past on here. People leave every day and come back under new profiles for a variety of reasons. Slate wiped clean.
I think what would be likely to stop me meeting in the extreme scenario outlined is that I'm looking for more of an ongoing situation and I always use condoms - it's highly unlikely someone in that situation would think I was worth the effort of chatting, getting to know each other and having a social when they're more of a straight down to it type.
Dunno, I guess I'd have to actually face that situation to decide whether my feelings for that person would outweigh my judgement on the info I've got. |
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By *hoirCouple 33 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
Sometimes, yes. We avoid people on here who know family via here. I avoid certain people who know others as I know their infection history and their lax attitudes to it.
C |
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively."
Absolutely, there has been instances where if I know they've played with a particular gezzer then that's a no go fucking go for me....
And with one particular female.
If either of these people were thrown in the mix, then that would bring my barriers right up quickly..
Mr |
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By *eli OP Woman 33 weeks ago
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"You're getting on great with someone.
Would their previous sexual partners, if known, affect how likely you are to meet them? Positively or negatively.
To be honest yes, it can really put me off people if they have a trail of gross, weird or ultra sleazy people they have been with. Fab proves many people shag anything with a pulse I have been left really surprised at who has been with who on here. I know it sounds judgemental, I admit it is "
You're owning that though, aren't you? I think everyone judges to a certain extent. Makes decisions about what they're comfortable with, who they want to have sex with.
People can be quick to say "oh but it's a sex site", "it shouldn't matter" but to some it does. If it doesn't? Cool. If it does? That's also cool. You find those you're compatible with. |
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